The Sweetest Sin
Page 4
Holding back tears, Juliana gathered her things, pulling her chemise back over her shoulders and buttoning her gown with shaking hands. Finally, she smoothed the wrinkled fabric and sucked in a breath.
She had to be strong for Evelyn.
“Very well, my lord. I will see you tomorrow evening.”
She waited for him to look at her, to change his mind, to say anything to give her hope. But he merely nodded without even sparing her a glance.
“Very good. Good evening, Juliana.”
With sorrow breaking her heart, Juliana left the room. Left the man she loved, realizing fully just how far apart they’d grown. And realizing, more than ever, how much she wanted him back in her life even when her search for Evelyn was over.
* * *
The door shut behind Juliana and Landon sank to his knees before the fire. His whole body shook as he relived each and every moment of her pleasuring herself.
What the hell had he been thinking? His order to Juliana to touch herself so intimately had been meant to make her uncomfortable. To dole out a little bit of punishment.
Instead, he had opened himself to a torment of his own. Watching her stroke her slender hands across her wet slit, delve long fingertips deep inside her channel and finally shudder with release had aroused him to the very brink of control. And it had also let him see how much she had changed in the time they’d been apart.
Five years ago she had been innocent, fresh, untried. He had taken her maidenhead with as much gentleness as he could and had only just begun to introduce her to the wide and magnificent pleasures two people could grant each other with their bodies. She’d been so unsure as she learned how to both give and receive pleasure, even though she was a quick study.
But now she had experience at her beck and call. She knew how to bring herself release… and clearly she also knew just how wild watching her made him. Somehow in those hot moments, the control of the situation had shifted and it had been him ready to beg and offer himself, not the other way around.
Just like the last time he saw her.
He couldn’t have it. Not again. Tomorrow he had to be more prepared for her sensual assault. He had to meet her head on at the battlefield and have her at his mercy early and often.
But until then… he loosened his trouser buttons and took himself in hand. Until then, he would need to find release the same way he had been for a long time. By closing his eyes and thinking of her.
Only now he had so many more wicked images to taunt and tempt him.
Chapter Three
“Where have you been, girlie?”
Juliana froze with her hand on the banister of the main staircase. She shut her eyes. Hadn’t tonight been trying enough without her father’s interference and accusations? But like her desire for Landon, her father’s questions were unavoidable. And she had no choice but to acknowledge him.
She turned. His ruddy cheeks and cloudy eyes told her he’d been drinking again. And that meant she’d have to tread softly in his presence or risk swift punishment.
“I was out, Father,” she said, taking in a calming breath.
“It’s well past midnight, Juliana,” he slurred. “No decent lady goes out unescorted so late and then sneaks back home like a common lightskirt.”
“And does a decent man sell his youngest daughter to pay a debt?” Juliana asked, anger bursting at her chest and tamping down the measured reaction she knew she should give. She didn’t care anymore. Let him give her the back of his hand. At least she would have her say.
He stepped forward, his face reddening. “Watch your tongue, missy!”
Juliana dug her nails into her palms, praying for calm. Praying for guidance. Praying for a bolt of lightening to come through the front door and strike her father in his place. Anything to make this torment end.
“Why did you do it, Father?” she asked and was horrified as tears gathered in her eyes. She blinked furiously. She would not weep. “Why did you give Evelyn to one of your gambling cronies?”
He wrinkled his brow as if confused. “He wouldn’t take a horse in trade for what I owed. And I didn’t have the blunt at the ready, so he named his price.”
She let out a strangled sob of rage. “And you gave him Evelyn, our Evelyn. An innocent?”
She fought to stay in her spot on the bottom stair instead of fly down to beat her fists against his barrel chest. That would get her nothing but swift retribution.
“What, did you want me to give you to the man?” he asked with a shake of his head.
She swiped at a tear she couldn’t control. “Why not? You did so once before. I gave up everything I ever loved, my only chance at a happy future to pay one of your debts.”
Her father snorted. “Bah. That Hawkins would have bored with you soon enough. Your happy future would have included birthing his brats while he spent his time with whores. Trust me, all men of our class are alike.”
Juliana winced at the ugly, vicious words from her father’s lips. Untrue words. She knew, more than anything, that Landon never would have betrayed her like her father described. And not only because of the way he lead his life the past five years, but because she knew him. Or she had once.
Now was a different story entirely. But then he would have been a true and honorable husband.
She sighed. “If you had offered me instead, at least I would have known what was going to happen. At least I had ways to shut myself away from it.”
Her father shrugged before he let out a belch that seemed to crack Juliana’s eardrums. “Perhaps. But he didn’t want you. He wanted Evelyn. He asked for her specifish.”
He was slurring even worse now. Drunk enough that he didn’t care what his youngest daughter was enduring thanks to his wicked, selfish ways. Juliana bit her lip. Even sober he hardly cared. Lame apologies were generally followed by violent defensiveness. Broken doors were as common in this home as broken promises.
Promises like the one he’d made on a night so long ago. That he would never sell Evelyn if Juliana agreed to his arranged marriage to Lord Breckinhill.
“Who is it, Father?” Juliana asked. “Who took her? How long will they keep her? How much do you owe?”
She prayed he would give her the answers she desired. At least then she could give Landon some information. At least then she could limit the time they spent together while he investigated. After tonight, she wasn’t sure how much she could take. Every moment she spent with Landon was a reminder of all she’d lost. All her father stole.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and shut your mouth?” her father growled. “And keep your nose out of my business.”
With that, he turned on a wobbly heel and weaved his way down the hall away from her. As soon as her father closed his office door, where he would likely get sauced the rest of the night and pass out, Juliana stomped her foot in frustration.
“Bastard!” she bellowed, though screaming her anger to the sky did no good. She’d learned that a long time ago.
No, she had to continue with her course of action. Let Landon use his resources to help her… and give him what he desired in return.
She trudged up the stairs with thoughts of the evening burning her mind. As she had said to her father, she was no innocent. She knew what a man’s desire looked like. What it felt like to have his eyes burn into her soul. Landon had wanted to touch her, take her.
But he held back. As punishment for her abandonment. He wanted to make her writhe in desire, let her know that he could take and give pleasure at his whim. That he would control his own needs in order to penalize her for hers.
And she had no choice but to allow it. To go to him each night and let him do what he would. If he were any other man, she could have born that torment. But with Landon it was different. Landon held her heart. Still. Always. And every moment she spent with him was a torture not just of her body, but also of her spirit. Her soul.
Because she knew that this time it would be even harder to let him go when th
eir bargain came to an end and he cut her from his life for good.
But was there some way to repair the damage done by the past? Was there some way to make this devil’s bargain with Landon last even after her sister had been found?
* * *
Landon stared at the parlor door, but he could not bring himself to open it. Juliana was there waiting for him. Winston had informed him of her arrival over half an hour ago. If the butler had been surprised by the visit by the same lady in two nights, he made no indication.
In fact, Landon found himself feeling the surprise his butler would not dare show. In five years, Juliana’s presence had been a constant, throbbing heartbeat in the back of his head. Taunting him with memories, haunting his dreams. But he’d never imagined he would have her back in his life. Offering him a place back in her bed.
Even though he knew full well she only came to him because of her sister.
The sting of that realization took some of the excitement from his body. He couldn’t forget that everything she did here was done by design. Whether it was the way she looked at him or the way she moaned when she found release… it was all artful. He couldn’t let himself be entranced by this woman who had already proven she would make a mockery of his desire and his love.
Making his face hard and hoping it would be unreadable, he pushed the parlor door open.
She stood in the same position she had been in the night before, looking out his window into the darkness. She didn’t seem to hear his entrance, as she didn’t turn.
Tonight she wore a pretty pink gown with a stunning crimson sash tied below her breasts. Her auburn hair was pulled up like a flaming crown on her head and a generous slope of her neck was left bare. Landon felt an outrageous urge to cross to her and put his mouth against the naked skin. To suck every inch of exposed flesh before he used that red sash to bind her and have his way with her in every way he’d ever dreamed.
He shook the fantasy away. There was plenty of time for taking later. If he ever got the nerve to actually touch her again, that was. He had a sneaking suspicion he would be as lost as ever the moment her skin met his.
“Good evening,” she whispered, though she didn’t turn.
Landon jumped. So she had been aware of him all along. Another deception, minor as it was.
“You’re early. I said midnight,” he said, shutting the door behind him.
She tensed before she turned. Her blue eyes were pale, filled with emotions that didn’t seem to be anything but real. She was afraid, probably for her sister… but also afraid of the unknown. Last night had shocked her. When he hadn’t taken her, but instead watched her stroke herself to completion, it had set her off balance.
He should have been happy about that, but he wasn’t. Because it had left him just as shaken and achy. His dreams, God his dreams…
“I apologize,” she said softly before she took a timid step in his direction. “But I was anxious. Have you… have you discovered any information about Evelyn?”
Landon sighed. If only she had been so focused on him and their marriage, the past five years wouldn’t have been such a hell. Often he’d told himself Juliana wasn’t capable of love and that was why deserting him was so easy for her. But clearly, that was untrue. By the tears that threatened to fall from her shining eyes, she was very much able to love another.
Just not him.
“I have begun to make discreet inquiries on your father’s gambling partners.”
Her eyes lit up and his heart ached at the sight. God, she was beautiful. He had tried to forget it so many times, but it slapped him in the face.
“And?” she asked, taking another eager step.
“There is no information,” he admitted and winced as the hope in her eyes faded. “It is early yet, Juliana.”
She nodded, but she didn’t look at him. Turning, she stared at the window with blank eyes. “I know it’s too much to expect instant answers, but every night my sister is alone with-with whoever has her-”
She broke off. Landon found himself moving toward her as her shoulders bent and shook. She was crying. Silent, pained and he wanted nothing more than to comfort her.
He drew himself up sharp at that realization. Holding her, comforting her, those were the worst things he could do. It would only open himself to heartache he didn’t think he could bear again. If he wished to make her forget, he had to do it within the confines of their arrangement.
With a shiver, he walked to the door and slipped the lock in place. The servants had been given orders not to disturb them, but he could take no chances nonetheless. Her back stiffened at the sound of the metal sliding into place and she turned slightly.
Her lips parted as she watched him move across the room to splash whiskey into two tumblers. It wasn’t a ladylike drink. But then again, her being here wasn’t exactly ladylike. And him, allowing her to bargain with her body was something the lowest, most depraved rake would do, not a gentleman.
Landon took a tumbler in each hand and moved to the settee by the fire. Setting his drink down at the table beside him, he motioned to the place at his side.
“Come here,” he ordered, hearing the tremble in his voice and cursing himself for it. Surely, she heard the sound and could easily exploit his weakness.
She didn’t answer, but took the few stumbling steps across the room. She looked at the place beside him, looked at him. It was as if she were considering the prudence of sitting so close, of letting her thigh brush his, of surrendering entirely to what the bargain they struck would mean.
But finally, she sat and Landon’s heart swelled with irrational triumph. She was his again… at least for now. And he was going to take full advantage, propriety and pain be damned.
He handed her the tumbler and she took a long sip. Her hands trembled as she set it down on the table on her side of the settee. Landon stared, waiting, willing the moment to stretch forever.
And then, as if by some other force than his own mind, his hand lifted and he touched her. Just her cheek, stroking the back of his hand along curve of her jaw. It was like heaven. Every nerve, every ounce of desire that he had stored away for all these years exploded free in one blazing instant. It took everything in him not to drag her to the floor, tear her dress to shreds and rut with her like an animal.
He let out a low moan when she shifted beneath his hand. “Juliana, hold still,” he groaned. “Just let me--let me--”
She tensed, her eyes widening, but she did as she was told. Utterly motionless, she watched his every move as he slowly relearned the body that had been burned on his brain for so long. He cupped the nape of her neck, tracing the slope of her throat with his palm, then running his fingers across the arch of her collarbone.
Juliana bit back a muffled sigh, but to her credit she didn’t move. Even as her nipples puckered into clear outline against the satin bodice of her gown, she didn’t waver, she didn’t arch, she didn’t speak. She just let him touch her. Any way he wanted. Every way he had dreamed about for so long.
Landon’s hands shook as he ran his thumb along the lace at the edge of her gown’s low neckline. Her skin flushed with desire and her fingers clenched into fists at her sides as he slipped the index finger of each hand below the bodice and tugged. The dress slipped forward, the fabric straining as her breast was revealed inch by inch. Finally, the gown gave way, slipped below the globe as her right breast popped free.
Juliana gasped as the cool air hit her naked skin. But she didn’t feel cold. Landon’s gaze was too hot on her to feel anything but like she was burning. Her nipple strained, tingling even though it was only the gown’s soft fabric that had brushed it. She longed to slip her fingers through Landon’s hair and force his mouth down to suckle her, but she resisted. He had asked her to remain still. To let him do what he wished. And she had agreed to obey his every order when it came to sex. She had no choice but to sit impassive as he simply stared at her naked breast, making love to her with his intensely gray eyes.
“Landon,” she moaned, unable to keep the sound from escaping for all the gold in England. “Oh, God, Landon.”
His breath came hotter, faster as he thumbed the peak of her breast, rolling her tingling nipple between his fingers as her body jolted of its own accord.
“I want to taste you, Juliana,” he groaned.
It wasn’t a request for permission, but she nodded at any rate. Landon locked his gaze with hers for a long moment before he tilted his head and stroked his tongue where his fingers had been just moments before.
Juliana couldn’t control herself, no matter how she tried. Her hands came up, gliding through his hair as she slipped back against the settee cushions. Her moan was like a sob, breaking through the quiet room as he sucked her, lapped her, trailed his tongue in a purposeful circle around and around her aching bud.
The feel of his mouth on her skin went all the way through her body, heating her blood, flipping her stomach and wetting her thighs with desire unlike any she’d ever known. It had been an eternity since he touched her…and she realized she had waited every day, every hour, every moment for this. For him.
His fingers found the buttons at the back of her gown as his mouth continued its wicked loving of her bare skin. She hardly felt her dress falling forward, her chemise being slipped from her shoulders. Suddenly she was bared from the waist up and Landon leaned back to look at her.
“Juliana,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Juliana.”
She swallowed hard, her whole body trembling with anticipation. Need. Desire.
Terror.
Landon cupped one bare breast in each hand and brought them together. She clawed at his shoulders, her hips lifting against his chest as he leaned over and lapped from one to the other. Every part of her felt alive in a way she never thought she’d feel again. Her legs fell open beneath his weight and when he leaned in to stroke his tongue in the valley between her breasts she felt the hard, thick thrust of his erection nudge her thigh.