Count Bunker

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by J. Storer Clouston


  CHAPTER V

  It is at all times pleasant to contemplate thorough workmanshipand sagacious foresight, particularly when these are allied withdisinterested purpose and genuine enthusiasm. For the next few days Mr.Bunker, preparing to carry out to the best of his ability the delicatecommission with which he had been entrusted, presented this stimulatingspectacle.

  Absolutely no pains were left untaken. By the aid of some volumes lenthim by Tulliwuddle he learned, and digested in a pocketbook, as muchinformation as he thought necessary to acquire concerning the history ofthe noble family he was temporarily about to enter; together withnotes of their slogan or war-cry (spelled phonetically to avoid thepossibility of a mistake), of their acreage, gross and net rentals, thenames of their land-agents, and many other matters equally to the point.It was further to be observed that he spared no pains to imprint theseparticulars in the Baron's Teutonic memory--whether to support his ownin case of need, or for some more secret purpose, it were impossible tofathom. Disguised as unconspicuous and harmless persons, they would meetin many quiet haunts whose unsuspected excellences they could guaranteefrom their old experience, and there mature their philanthropic plan.

  Not only had its talented originator to impress the Tulliwuddle annalsand statistics into his ally's eager mind, but he had to exercise thenicest tact and discernment lest the Baron's excess of zeal should triptheir enterprise at the very outset.

  "To-day I have told Alicia zat my visit to Russia vill probably bevollowed by a visit to ze Emperor of China," the Baron would recountwith vast pride in his inventive powers. "And I have dropped a leetlehint zat for an envoy to be imprisoned in China is not to be surprised.Zat vill prepare her in case I am avay longer zan ve expect."

  "And how did she take that intimation?" asked Essington, with a lesscongratulatory air than he had expected.

  "I did leave her in tears."

  "My dear Baron, fly to her to tell her you are not going to China!She will get so devilish alarmed if you are gone a week that she'll gostraight to the embassy and make inquiries."

  He shook his head, and added in an impressive voice--

  "Never lie for lying's sake, Blitzenberg. Besides, how do you propose toforge a Chinese post-mark?"

  The Baron had laid the foundations of his Russian trip on a sound basisby requesting a friend of his in that country to post to the Baronessthe bi-weekly budgets of Muscovite gossip which he intended tocompose at Hechnahoul. This, it seemed to him, would be a simple feat,particularly with his friend Bunker to assist; but he had to confessthat the provision of Chinese news would certainly be more difficult.

  "Ach, vell, I shall contradict China," he agreed.

  It will be readily believed that what with getting up his brief, pruningthe legends with which the Baron proposed to satisfy his wife and hisambassador, and purchasing an outfit suitable to the roles of peer andchieftain, this indefatigable gentleman passed three or four extremelybusy days.

  "Ve most start before my dear mozzer-in-law does gom!" the Baron morethan once impressed upon him, so that there was no moment to be wasted.

  Two days before their departure Mr. Bunker greeted his ally with apeculiarly humorous smile.

  "The pleasures of our visit to Hechnahoul are to be considerablyaugmented," said he. "Tulliwuddle has only just made the discoverythat his ancestral castle is let; but his tenant, in the most handsomespirit, invites us to be his guests so long as we are in Scotland. Avery hospitable letter, isn't it?"

  He handed him a large envelope with a more than proportionately largecrest upon it, and drawing from this a sheet of note-paper headed by asecond crest, the Baron read this epistle:

  "MY LORD,--Learning that you propose visiting your Scottish estates, andMr. M'Fadyen, your factor, informing me no lodge is at present availablefor your reception, it will give Mrs. Gallosh and myself great pleasure,and we will esteem it a distinguished honor, if you and your friend willbe our guests at Hechnahoul Castle during the duration of your visit.Should you do us the honor of accepting, I shall send my steam launchto meet you at Torrydhulish pier and convey you across the loch, if youwill be kind enough to advise me which train you are coming by.

  "In conclusion, Mrs. Gallosh and myself beg to assure you that althoughyou find strangers in your ancestral halls, you will receive both fromyour tenantry and ourselves a very hearty welcome to your native land.Believe me, your obedient servant,

  "DUNCAN JNO. GALLOSH."

  "Zat is goot news!" cried the Baron. "Ve shall have company--perhapsladies! Ach, Bonker, I have ze soft spot in mine heart: I am so constantas ze needle to ze pole; but I do like sometimes to talk mit voman!"

  "With Mrs. Gallosh, for instance?"

  "But, Bonker, zere may be a Miss Gallosh."

  "If you consulted the Baroness," said Bunker, smiling, "I suspect shewould prefer you to be imprisoned in China."

  The Baron laughed, and curled his martial mustache with a dangerous air.

  "Who is zis Gallosh?" he inquired.

  "Scottish, I judge from his name; commercial, from his literary style;elevated by his own exertions, from the size of his crest; and wealthy,from the fact that he rents Hechnahoul Castle. His mention of Mrs.Gallosh points to the fact that he is either married or would have usthink so; and I should be inclined to conclude that he has probablybegot a family."

  "Aha!" said the Baron. "Ve vill gom and see, eh?"

 

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