Calling the Shots

by Christine d'Abo

  “Shit.” Josh turned his face, burrowing it against Oliver’s neck. “Wake up.”

  Josh gave him a gentle shake, but he got no response. Smoke and heat pressed down on him, making his skin itch and his stomach sour. They weren’t going to get out of this. He was going to die next to the man he’d come to love, and away from the woman who’d won his heart.

  When it had happened, Josh wasn’t sure. Really, what did the whens and hows mean? Or matter? He’d been too stubborn, too arrogant, to let them know how he’d felt. They’d willingly offered him everything he could have asked for, and he’d pushed them away. Now Oliver was going to die and Beth would be all alone once more because of something stupid he did.

  Yet again, he was the root of the hurt for the people who loved him.

  No.

  No!

  He wasn’t going to lie here and let Oliver die. Fuck that. Screw Kingston and his sick twisted mind. Josh groaned and forced himself back to his knees. Grabbing Oliver by the collar of his jacket, he yanked as hard as he could, sliding the two of them along the floor. He managed to keep the momentous pace until they reached the top of the stairs. Josh was half considering pushing Oliver to the bottom and hoping for the best, when the sound of shouting reached him.

  Beth had gotten help.

  Thank God.

  Without another thought, Josh passed out.

  * * *

  The soft sound of beeping was the first thing Josh became aware of. His eyelids were weighted and his mouth was dry, though he couldn’t manage to swallow. His body refused to move, stubbornly staying where it was. Trapped in his skin, the only thing he could cling to was the steady double blip.

  What the hell was that anyway?

  Damned annoying.

  The noise faded as Josh floated along in his head. When he came to again, his body made its presence known. His lungs burned and the back of his throat felt raw as he sucked in a breath. It was only then he became aware of the cold pressure around his mouth and nose. Oxygen? A mask?

  His hand throbbed and didn’t fully cooperate as he lifted it to bat at the thing on his face. Someone pressed to his side, cooing softly in his ear. A woman’s voice, one that eased the pain in his heart. Josh let her take his hand in hers and rest it by his side. She didn’t let go, and her touch and voice eased his tension and let him slip back into sleep.

  * * *

  Josh woke with a gasp, eyes flying open and hands braced on the bed. He managed to get himself into a half sit before he started coughing frantically. Beth raced into the room and was at his side within seconds.

  “God, what the hell are you trying to do? Just lie down, will you?”

  “Oliver—”

  “He’s fine. Carter and Ian got the two of you out. He’s in another room, and the doctor says he should be okay in a few days. You both got smoke inhalation, and Oliver had some minor burning on his arm. If you hadn’t gotten to him when you did, he wouldn’t have lived.”

  Beth’s voice hitched, and she wouldn’t make eye contact with him. Her hands never stilled as she straightened and picked at the thin blanket that covered his bleach-scented bed sheets. When he cleared his throat, she paused, blinking wide-eyed.

  “Water?” He managed a weak smile.

  “Oh yes! Sec. Umm, the nurse left some ice. Said you should suck on the chips when you woke up. I should probably go get her too.”

  “Beth—”

  “They weren’t going to let me in at all because I’m not family. I had to tell them I was Oliver’s girlfriend so I could be with him. I couldn’t say I was dating both of you ’cause that would just set off alarms. You’re my best friend. How could I not be here? Your dad vouched for me. He’s here by the way.”

  “Beth—”

  “I think they just took pity on me and let me stay. Probably figured I wasn’t going anywhere so they might as well let me in rather than have me sneaking around.” She snatched a cup from the side trolley, holding it close to his face. “Ice?”

  She forced several cool chips into his mouth, still without making eye contact.

  As the ice melted, Josh found the strength to speak.

  “Thanks.” Normally, he’d reach up and pull her into a hug, but the mere thought of that was exhausting. Instead, he brushed his fingers along the side of her thigh.

  She bit down on her bottom lip. Josh didn’t need to see the tears in her eyes to know they were there. “The bar.”

  Ah. “How bad?”

  “Bad.”

  “Beth…”

  She sighed. Shifting his arm over, she perched on the edge of the bed and took his hand in hers. “The firefighters got there pretty fast. Carter was picking something up at Pulled when I showed up, so he put the call in. The top floor is a write-off from the actual fire. None of the furniture or equipment up there was salvageable. They’re not sure if there’s structural damage to the building yet, but I don’t think it will matter. The bottom floor has water damage from when the pipes burst, and the smell of smoke is everywhere.”

  Josh took a deep breath. Pain lanced through his chest, sending him into a renewed fit of coughing. He held Beth still when she tried to move away, not wanting to see a doctor just yet. Not until he knew everything.

  Sinking back down, Beth finally met his gaze. The weight of her sadness was palpable. “The insurance investigator said they would cover most of the costs. Oliver identified Kingston as the arsonist. We also had Jeff’s security camera footage to support him. The police managed to pick him up quickly. The idiot hadn’t even bothered to leave town.”

  “Everything’s gone then.”

  “Yeah. I’m so sorry. But we’ll help you rebuild.”

  “Thanks.” Was that what he wanted? To start from the ground up all over again? To put more friends and people he cared for in harm’s way?

  What did it matter, any of it? This was his chance to make a clean break of things, start over somewhere new and do things right. He could go home to Vancouver, stay with his dad for a few weeks until he could figure out where to take his life from here. It wasn’t a new club, but he could make it work. “How long have I been out of it?”

  Beth leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Josh ignored the way his heart rate jumped as her smooth lips caressed his skin. “Nearly four days. I was worried you weren’t going to get better.”

  “Damn.”

  “I called your dad and he came down the next day. He’s been here every moment since. I sent him home to get a shower and something to eat so of course that’s when you choose to wake up. He’ll be back soon.”

  “Thanks.”

  “There’s no reason to thank me.” This time when she leaned in, Beth kept her gaze locked to his. “I love you. Both of you. I’m not going anywhere no matter what you say.”

  “Beth—”

  “Don’t say anything right now. Just…just give yourself a chance to heal.”

  Josh closed his eyes, turning his head away from Beth. “Tired.”

  “Rest. I’ll go tell the nurse you’re awake.”

  She would too, stay right by his side no matter what. If Josh knew nothing else about Beth it was her insane sense of loyalty. She’d be with him every step of the way, stuck to him until he pried her off. If he gave her reason to, she’d follow his sorry ass all the way to Vancouver and start her life over. Oliver too, probably.

  A couple wouldn’t draw attention. An established trio? Living as one? No, they’d just invite the unwanted attentions of another crazy. Next time they might not be so lucky, and they could get someone worse than Kingston. Josh cared for them too much to make them a target ever again.

  He waited patiently while the doctor put him through a series of tests, ignoring the sight of Beth hovering in the hallway. At some point his dad arrived
and, despite the doctor’s protests, scooped Josh up into a hug.

  Josh closed his eyes and sucked in the scent of Old Spice cologne and stale cigarette smoke. His dad was here, and for the first time in years Josh broke down.

  “It’s okay. I’ve got ya, son.”

  “I want to go home, Dad.”

  His father pulled back and smiled. Fear lingered in his hazel eyes, and the lines around his eyes and creasing his forehead seemed deeper than they’d been a year ago, the last time they’d gotten together. “Let’s get the doctor to check you over and give us a time line. Then we’ll figure the rest out.”

  “No. Regardless of what they say, I’m not staying here. I want to go back home with you. To Vancouver.”

  Gone. Everything he’d worked so hard for was gone. Never mind wanting to open a second club, Maverick had burned, leaving him with nothing more than memories and a pile of regrets. God, he couldn’t stay here. Not anymore.

  His father frowned over his shoulder toward Beth. “Are you sure? You have a good network of people here who love you. Your young friends have been worried.”

  “Mr. Scott.” The doctor cleared his throat. “I really need to finish these tests.”

  “Of course. I’ll be back in when he’s done.”

  Josh grabbed his dad’s arm and squeezed. “I’m coming with you.”

  Even as his dad moved away and the doctor took over, all Josh was aware of was the constant litany sounding in his head.

  Run away. Run away. Run away. Run.

  Chapter Twenty

  Josh leaned over the railing on the back deck of his dad’s condo as the rising sun slowly made its way up into the gray sky. The mug of coffee in his hand stung his skin, forcing him to shift it to rest on the cool metal railing. This had become his routine every morning since moving in with his dad. He would get up at the crack of dawn, make them both a coffee, see his dad off to work, before coming out here.

  Every day the same thing. Coffee, exercise and reading in the morning. A walk after lunch followed by house hunting. If he’d been trying, Josh could have found a rental the week after he’d moved out here, but it was comfortable being in the same place as family. The silence was chased away with the return of his dad at supper. And so what if a creeping unease and restlessness pulled at the edges of his heart and mind? He had no intention of returning to Toronto. He’d find a new life out here.

  A fresh start.

  The fire had cleared away everything that had tied him down. He’d informed the insurance company that he wasn’t going to rebuild the club, instead he would take the money for a future investment. It took some back-and-forth, but he was due to get his check in the next month or two.

  Beth had tried to convince him to start over in Toronto, or even go forward with his plan to open a club in Montreal. The quiet desperation in her voice was nearly enough to change his mind. But doing so would mean staying, and staying would mean she and Oliver would find a way to convince him that the three of them could make a go of things. In the end they’d all be better off with him on the other side of the country.

  By the time the sun had fully risen, Josh’s coffee was finished and he made his way back inside. The fresh air felt good in his lungs, which were still suffering from the effects of the smoke damage. The doctor had reassured him that things would get better soon, but as every day passed and the ache deep in his chest still flared when he tried to suck in too deep a breath, he was scared it would never go away.

  Folding himself onto a too-small kitchen chair, he powered up his laptop and waited for it to beep to life. He’d gotten to the login screen when a soft knock on the door pulled his attention.

  He wasn’t expecting anyone, and all his dad’s friends knew he was at work. Delivery? The condo was in a security building, so there shouldn’t be a way for someone to just walk in. Unless another tenant got conned into releasing the front door lock? Josh picked up the baseball bat his dad kept near the front of the condo and opened the door cautiously.

  The sight that met his eyes had his heart soaring as his stomach bottomed out. “What the hell are the two of you doing here?”

  Oliver stood slightly behind Beth, a large backpack slung across his back. Josh hadn’t seen much of the other man since Oliver had been discharged from the hospital ahead of him. He appeared rested and calmer in a way he hadn’t before the fire. Before Josh had left.

  “Your father invited us for a visit.” Beth smiled, shifting her own pack to her opposite shoulder. “He said you were going a bit stir-crazy and could use the company.”

  Oliver smirked. “Seeing as we have some time on our hands, thought we’d come out and see what’s so appealing on the West Coast.”

  The words that would have come at one time refused to form. He couldn’t stop his gaze from shifting between them, cataloging how they’d changed since the last time they’d been together. The warring urges—to kiss them or slam the door shut—made him want to scream. Instead he held his ground and frowned.

  “My father should have said something to me.”

  “We wanted it to be a surprise.” Beth smiled. “You cut your hair.”

  Suddenly self-conscious, he ran his hair across the cropped locks. He still wasn’t used to the new style himself and continued to use too much shampoo. But like with everything else, it was another chance to make a change.

  “Dude, this shit is heavy. Can we come in or should we head back to the hotel?”

  “Hotel?” He moved aside, letting them in to drop their gear by the door.

  “Well, we weren’t sure you’d want us here, despite what your dad said.” Beth shrugged. “I booked something just in case.”

  “They have a hot tub.” Oliver grinned. “I can’t wait.”

  The two moved around the condo, getting a feel for the place like two puppies sniffing around. They both exuded the same nervous, eager tension he’d witnessed the night they’d come to his place, offering themselves up to him. His cock twitched at the memory.

  “Your dad has an awesome view.” Beth pulled open the patio door and let the breeze blow in. “God, I could get used to being out here.”

  “I could get used to the fresh fish. Salmon.” Oliver groaned. “We need to hit a good fish place later.”

  “Why are the two of you here?” Shit, he wasn’t going to be able to do this if they were here. Josh pinched the bridge of his nose, pausing for a moment to get his breathing under control. “Not that I’m unhappy to see you, but you should both be looking for work. Healing.” Anything but standing here with him.

  Beth turned to face him, but it was Oliver who crowded into his personal space. “We missed you.”

  “I—”

  “You left without saying goodbye to us.” Oliver squeezed his hand. “You wouldn’t let me see you in the hospital. You wouldn’t take our phone calls. You saved my life and I couldn’t even thank you for it.”

  Josh finally met Oliver’s gaze. The naked hurt bled out from Oliver and, for the first time since meeting him, Josh knew the other man was being completely open with his feelings. There was no wall, no mask, nothing Josh could use to pretend he didn’t know that it wasn’t simply sexual attraction. There was love in Oliver’s eyes.

  It was almost enough to break Josh’s resolve. Almost.

  “You don’t need to thank me. I wouldn’t have left anyone in that mess.”

  “But I’m not just anyone.” Oliver frowned. “At least I thought I wasn’t. We weren’t. Unless you’re still pissed off about Mallory.”

  “I’m not.”

  Beth shifted behind Oliver, but didn’t come closer. “What the hell happened? I thought…we thought there was something real between us. This wasn’t about sex. Not completely.” She did move then, coming up beside Oliver to slip her arm around his waist.


  “The two of you are together.” That was good. They would have the support they needed, wouldn’t be alone after they left him.

  “You saw to that.” Oliver dropped his hand. “But we want you too. Both of us for as long as you want.”

  “You’re kidding. That’s insane.” Josh took a step back. “Threesomes are fun in bed, but the realities of life are different. What happens if you want kids? Do you want to try and figure out support and paternity? Fuck, what about the neighbors? Friends? God, your families wouldn’t understand. It’s a potential disaster that would ruin everyone, and I’m not about to let the two of you do that. You’ll only end up hating me.”

  “Wow.” Oliver’s voice was soft but contained an undeniable core of steel. “That is the stupidest, most self-centered load of shit I’ve ever heard in my life.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I believe what Oliver is trying to say is, fuck you, Josh. Who the hell do you think you are to try and tell us that what we want is wrong?” Beth dropped her hold on Oliver but didn’t move away. “For a man who’s spent the better part of his adult life building a safe environment for people to explore alternative lifestyles, you’re pretty fucking old-fashioned.”

  Rage exploded through him. “Don’t you dare.” Josh didn’t want this to happen. He needed to keep his head, explain to them so they’d understand this was for their benefit. Taking a breath, he tried to clamp down on his anger. “You two are sweet, but you don’t know what you’re asking. I’ve been there when the shit unravels. The end result is messy.”

  “Messier than Mallory taking every last penny from my bank account?” Oliver’s voice was too steady, too calm for his words. “Do you think a normal relationship is any less prone to disaster? She went on vacation, met a man twice her age, cleaned me out and now wants to marry the other bastard. Would you do that to me?”