by K. L. Slater
‘Ellis, they don’t know that for sure yet.’ Her voice had sounded different to usual, like she was trying really hard to make him think everything would be OK but underneath she was as scared as he was. That made everything worse, because if the adults around you were scared, what hope did a kid have?
Whatever had happened, Ellis’s mum was dead now. She was never coming back. He wondered about the thing she’d made him swear not to tell anyone … did that matter any more? Or was it more important than ever that he kept quiet?
One morning, a few days after Tom had been discharged from prison, his mum had asked Ellis to go to the shop to get some milk and bacon. He’d grumbled, but when she’d said he could connect his Nintendo Switch to the TV for an hour when he got back, he’d decided it was probably worth the sacrifice.
His mum had seemed desperate for the items, even though they still had a bit of milk left and didn’t need the bacon until lunchtime. She’d almost pushed him out of the house. The local Co-op was about a twenty-minute walk from home and much further than that if you took the long way round through the skate park where there were sometimes older kids doing really cool manoeuvres on the graffitied concrete slopes.
Ellis had reached the main road, about seven minutes from home, when he realised he hadn’t picked up the tenner his mum had left for him on the kitchen worktop.
‘Shit!’ He’d kicked a brick wall and hurt his foot, sending his fury to a new level.
Over the road, a woman stood glaring at him while her dog sniffed around a lamp post. He’d felt so angry inside at her interest, he remembered wishing there was a pile of rocks nearby to lob at her. He knew at the time it didn’t make sense, knew it was unfair of him, but he couldn’t help it. That was how he felt most of the time these days, since he’d had to face Tom every time he went to his nan’s house. Like he wanted to hurt someone.
He’d bitten down on his tongue until he tasted the metallic tang of blood, and the pain calmed him down a bit. Then he’d turned around and started walking back to the house to get the cash.
As he’d turned the corner at the end of their street, he’d spotted a tall figure in jeans and a hoodie stop outside their house. The man opened the small front gate and walked up the path. The house was in the middle of a long line of narrow townhouses. They used to live in a big old Victorian semi with damp walls and dodgy electrics, but his nan had helped them get a nicer place. His mum had a sign in the bottom corner of the front window saying No Uninvited Callers, but this guy had blatantly ignored that. Ellis broke into a run.
The door opened and he saw his mum step aside and let the man straight inside. They didn’t talk or anything, and it looked like she’d been expecting him.
Ellis got a feeling like indigestion in his chest. He wondered if his mum had a secret boyfriend and didn’t want him to know. Coral was twenty-eight and she was pretty and slim, and he saw blokes look at her in the street all the time. It was gross to think about your mum dating guys, but he knew she was attractive and his dad had been gone a long time now.
He had dawdled back to a slow walk. What should he do now? If he burst in there, they might be … doing anything, like the couple in that rude picture Monty had brought into school. It was sickening but true. But if he didn’t pick up the cash and get the stuff from the shop, he wouldn’t be allowed to play his game on the television.
It had occurred to him to shout to his mum from the door and then she wouldn’t be surprised. But then she might introduce him to her new boyfriend and that would be the worst thing ever.
Then he remembered that the ten-pound note was actually on the end of the kitchen worktop, right by the back door. They never kept the back door locked during the day as his mum liked to stand outside in the garden regularly for a smoke. He’d sneak around the back, open the door and take the money and she’d be none the wiser. Then, on his way back from the shop, he’d take a detour through the skate park, and hopefully by the time he got back, the man would’ve gone.
He walked past the front gate and took a right turn down the alleyway that led behind the houses, giving access to the narrow gardens. He opened the squeaky back gate and snuck inside, praying they weren’t snogging by the patio doors in the kitchen. He pushed down on the handle and levered the door gently open. Stepping inside, he reached for the cash, then froze as he heard raised voices coming from the living room.
‘Coral, please. Just listen, I—’ He instantly recognised Tom’s voice. Were his mum and Tom having an affair? Behind his nan’s back?
He’d gripped the worktop as Coral’s shrill voice rang out next.
‘No! You listen to me instead. Save your lies, because we both know what the big secret is. Jesse told you the night he died.’
‘No!’
‘You didn’t like what you heard, so you killed him. Pretended it was an accident.’
‘No! I—’
‘But the court saw through you, thank God. So you can drop the nice guy act with me because I know the truth.’
Ellis had covered his mouth, certain he was going to be sick at any moment. He turned and ran out of the kitchen, but his foot caught on the step and he tripped, knocking over the small metal watering can his mum kept there for the house plants.
‘Who’s there?’ he heard his mum shout. ‘Ellis?’
He’d got to his feet but didn’t have time to run before his mum and Tom appeared.
‘He heard us,’ Tom said, staring at him in a dark, dangerous manner.
‘I didn’t! I—’
His mum had turned to Tom. ‘Go now. I’ll speak to him.’
‘Are you going to tell him—’
‘Go,’ Coral said. ‘And don’t come back here.’
Then his mum had sat him down, forced him to listen to her.
‘I don’t know what you heard or how it sounded, but it’s not what you think, OK?’ Ellis glared moodily at the wall. ‘OK?’
‘No, it’s not OK! You said he killed my dad because he knew something.’
‘That’s not what I said, Ellis.’
‘You did! I heard you!’ He stood up, his whole body shaking, tears stinging his eyes. ‘Nan would never have married him if she knew he meant to kill Dad on purpose. Tom convinced her it was an accident and said he was sorry, and Nan believed him.’
Coral had placed her hands on his shoulders and pressed him down into the seat again. ‘Listen to me, love. It’s very important you forget anything you heard today. Whatever you thought I meant, you need to put it out of your mind. Unless you want to get me into serious trouble, you don’t breathe a word to your nan, you hear me?’
She’d looked so scared, so desperate, he’d quickly nodded. ‘OK,’ he’d said.
‘Good lad. I love you.’ She kissed the top of his head.
‘I forgot the cash. I’ve got to go back to the shop.’
She’d laughed. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll manage. Hook your game up to the TV and enjoy it.’
He’d realised then that she’d only sent him to the shop because she knew Tom was calling round. The question was, why had she been protecting him? What did Ellis’s dad tell him before he died?
A wave of misery washed over him, like a terrible cramp that reached every inch of his flesh. None of it mattered any more. He didn’t care why Tom had been in the house that day. He didn’t care what his dad had told him that night.
His mum was gone now, and that meant Ellis was officially an orphan.
He wished with all his heart he’d die too.
Forty-Three
Bridget
Tom and I sat quietly in shock. I heard Ellis sobbing upstairs in his bedroom. I’d tried my best to explain the terrible tragedy, to comfort him. Tom had tried too, but Ellis wanted nothing to do with either of us right now.
‘I can’t believe it,’ Tom whispered. ‘I can’t believe Coral is dead.’
I looked at him. ‘Did you get your water bottle?’
‘What?’
‘The water
bottle you went back to the gym for. Did you find it?’
‘Hardly seems important now,’ he said, incredulous that I’d asked. ‘Yeah, I got it, thanks.’
‘You’re a liar.’ I stood up and glared down at him. ‘I found your water bottle when I went in your gym bag to get your towel. So where did you go, and why lie about it?’
He pressed his cut hand and grimaced. ‘Can we talk about this later?’
‘No, we cannot! It’s a small glass cut, for God’s sake. How bad can it be?’ I reached down and tugged at the cloth around his hand. He let out a yelp as it came off. The wound was quite nasty, but it had stopped bleeding and was already knitting neatly together. The surface was level and there was clearly no glass in it like he’d told the detectives. I walked to the kitchen cupboard and pulled out the first aid kit. ‘Why lie about it being so bad you couldn’t answer the detectives’ questions?’ I selected a large plaster and applied it to the cut before sitting back.
‘I don’t know.’ He ran his good hand through his hair and sighed. ‘It was a knee-jerk reaction. When they mentioned that I’d just been released, it made me jittery.’
‘Fine. I can see how that might be the case. Next question – where did you go when you lied about the gym?’
There were a few moments of silence, and then he said, ‘I’m sorry, Brid, I can’t tell you.’
‘What?’ My mouth dropped open. ‘You can tell me. You will tell me!’
‘I can’t. Please, you’re going to have to trust me on this one.’
‘Trust you? When you’re admitting you’ve lied through your teeth to me?’ My blood was on fire. ‘I don’t want a liar under this roof, so why don’t you crawl back to your mother until you can man up and tell me the truth?’
‘What I mean is, I will tell you, but it has to be the right time.’
My hot-blooded fury turned to ice-cold dread. He had someone else. He’d met some hot young woman at the gym and he didn’t want to break my heart when Ellis was here and I’d had the terrible news about Coral.
Somehow I managed to speak without choking on the words.
‘You don’t get to choose the right time for you.’
‘Brid.’ He covered his face with his hands. ‘You can’t possibly understand.’
‘If it’s another woman, you can tell me,’ I said wretchedly. ‘In fact I want you to tell me, I’d rather know.’
‘You are so far from the truth.’ He grasped my hand. ‘I love you, Bridget. There’s nobody but you.’
He must have seen the relief on my face, because he seemed to collect himself and spoke with some authority.
‘I will tell you everything, I promise. But not now. We need to get things sorted with Ellis first.’
‘Sorted how?’
‘Well, he needs some stuff from home, surely? You said you had a key to Coral’s house.’
‘Yes, but … shouldn’t we ask the police if it’s OK first?’ I fretted. ‘We don’t want it to look like we’re trying to cover something up.’
‘That’s a strange thing to say.’ Tom frowned. ‘What is there to cover up? It’s only Ellis’s belongings we’re after. Her house isn’t a crime scene.’
‘I don’t know, I’m saying how it might look to them.’
‘If we ask their permission, they might well say no, and then we’re stuck,’ Tom reasoned. ‘If they’re annoyed about it, we can play dumb.’
‘I can’t leave Ellis here on his own, not after the news he’s had. Can you stay with him?’
‘He’ll get hysterical if I go near him when he’s in this state. I can go to Coral’s if you tell me what he needs.’
‘I don’t really know. I need to see his stuff so I can decide what to bring back,’ I said. He was right about Ellis kicking off if he came out of his bedroom and Tom was there.
‘OK, well, I’ll call my mum to come over here while we’re out,’ Tom said simply.
‘Your mother? I don’t think so!’
He picked up his phone and pressed a key. ‘Brid, don’t be petty. Not now.’ He held the phone up to his ear. ‘Mum? Can you come over, quick as you can? We’ve got an emergency situation here.’
He told her briefly what had happened, but his voice faded out as I thought about Coral. How she’d been here, alive and well, and now she was cold and dead. The feelings that stirred in my stomach reminded me so much of when Jesse had died.
‘You’re crying.’ Tom touched my cheek when he’d ended the call. ‘Mum’s on her way over. She should be here in fifteen minutes.’
‘I feel so bad now, getting annoyed with Coral. I’d never have been so mean to her if I’d known …’
‘You weren’t mean to her, Brid. Not really,’ Tom said softly. ‘Coral could be difficult. She was becoming obnoxious about Ellis.’
I stood up. ‘I’ll get ready to go.’
Upstairs, I made sure everything personal was put away. Who knew what Jill might rifle though, given the chance? The knowledge Tom was keeping a secret from me drove me crazy. I could barely think of anything else, even though Coral had just died. I was the definition of a terrible person.
Fifteen minutes later, Jill arrived. I heard Tom explaining everything to her as I went back downstairs.
‘Hello, Bridget,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry about Coral. I know you two were close.’
‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind being here? Ellis is upstairs in his bedroom, first door on the left. I’m sorry we’ve dragged you out, but—’
‘I don’t mind at all, of course I don’t. I won’t bother Ellis, I’ll put the television on and sit down here. If he needs anything, there’s an adult around. Far better than dragging him out with you.’
I was taken aback by her helpfulness. I might even prefer her being spiteful, because I knew how to handle that. ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘That’s very kind of you, Jill.’
‘It’s no trouble.’
‘Thanks, Mum,’ Tom said, clearly relieved we weren’t tearing each other’s hair out for once.
Part of me still wondered about the wisdom of leaving Jill Billinghurst alone in my house, giving her the opportunity to snoop around, but Tom was right. We should get Ellis’s stuff out of the house straight away in case the police decided to search the property or make it inaccessible for a while.
Forty-Four
Jill
When Tom and Bridget had left to pick up Ellis’s belongings from Coral’s house, I poured a glass of milk and took a biscuit out of the cupboard.
I went upstairs and tapped on Ellis’s bedroom door. There was no answer, so after knocking again, I stepped inside. The blinds were drawn, and the boy lay on the bed on his side, with his back to the door.
‘I brought you milk and a biscuit, Ellis,’ I said softly. ‘Try and have a little sip and eat something.’
He shifted position slightly but didn’t answer me. I placed the refreshments on his bedside table.
From the back, it was easy to imagine Tom at the same age. His hair was a similar shade, with a tuft on his crown that grew at an odd angle and stuck up, although Tom had been shorter and stockier.
Before I realised what I was doing, I laid my hand on Ellis’s head. He was warm and still and I was surprised he didn’t shrink away from my touch.
‘I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, Ellis,’ I whispered. ‘I know you’re so very, very sad, but let me know if you need anything at all. I’ll be downstairs.’
‘Can you stay?’ His words were muffled by the pillow and I thought I’d misheard him.
‘Sorry?’
He turned slightly but didn’t look at me directly. ‘I’d like you to stay for a bit. I don’t … I don’t want to be alone.’ His voice sounded dry and scratchy.
‘Of course. Do you want to talk about—’
‘No,’ he said. ‘I’d like to be quiet, if that’s OK.’
I patted his shoulder and sat in the white moulded plastic chair next to his bed. Everything matched in his
bedroom. The walls were covered in Marvel and Nintendo posters, and there was an IKEA-style white built-in desk and shelving unit along one wall. Even the headboard and pendant shade were white, giving a neat, streamlined effect.
Tom’s room hadn’t been quite as smart as this, but he’d liked spending a lot of time on his own when he was Ellis’s age. Sometimes Jesse being there drove him mad, because it was simply impossible for Jesse to sit quietly. As I recall, he had to be the centre of attention or he grew restless.
I closed my eyes and began to drift slightly. The television played out very faintly downstairs and I found the distant voices comforting. I kept reliving the moment I’d walked into the shop and seen Audrey and Bridget together. The way they were huddled spoke of a familiarity with each other. And then peering through Audrey’s kitchen window and seeing that scarf. I still couldn’t get my head around it. Couldn’t face the obvious conclusion I’d come to.
My eyes snapped open when Ellis stirred and slowly rolled over so he was facing me. His eyes were red and swollen, his skin pale. We regarded each other.
‘Are you OK, Ellis?’ I asked him gently. ‘I know you’re full of pain, but you are getting through each minute and that’s what matters. That’s all you need to do.’
‘My mum felt sorry for you,’ he whispered. ‘She said you weren’t to blame for what happened.’
‘Your mum was a nice lady,’ I said gently. ‘You shouldn’t upset yourself thinking about your dad, love. Tom never meant for him to fall that night, you know. It was a horrible accident. A very sad accident.’
‘I keep trying not to think about this because I don’t know whether I’m still not supposed to say anything.’ Ellis shook his head and closed his eyes. ‘But I heard him. I heard what he said.’
‘What who said?’
‘Tom. When he came to our house.’
I could hear my pulse in my ears. ‘Tom came to your house?’
Ellis pushed himself up on one elbow. ‘He came over after he got out of prison, but Mum said I couldn’t tell my nan or there’d be a lot of trouble.’