Lawlessly in Love

by Mercy B

  “Hey. What’s up? How did everything go?”

  Brielle was aware of my plan and had encouraged it. Sauni had warned me against it, but I wasn’t willing to take the higher route this time. Sosa’s entitlement was disgusting and had rubbed me the wrong way. I wasn’t sure whom he’d been fraternizing with before me, but I was a different breed.

  Other women may have been uncertain about their desires, but I knew exactly what I wanted. If he couldn’t deliver, then it was best that he moved out of the way for someone who could. Our fucking wasn’t the end all, be all. I’d gotten over it the minute I woke and realized he was gone. The three-way call with my girls this morning had also put a lot into perspective for me. I’d been dick deprived for over a year, so that beat down was well deserved.

  “Horribly wrong. Now, I feel bad for the boy. He looked like he’d lost his best friend, leaving my house.”

  “He’ll be alright. Call him.”

  “I have. For the last three hours. I have an eight o’clock in the morning, so I need to call it a night. Maybe he will come around. Maybe he won’t. It was only one night.”

  “According to you, it was one unforgettable night. Even if you don’t want anything with him, at least you need to be on the nigga’s good side in case you need some dick.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “Keep saying that shit until you be around here scratching like Pookie off New Jack City.”

  “Brielle.”

  “I’m just saying.”

  “Speaking of which, how was your date with ole boy?”

  “Girl. Date? I’m not looking to date. I’m looking for a good time, and we both understand that. After bowling, we went to a little after-hour spot that I was calling to ask if you wanted to go to. They have the best cheese eggs and pancakes. It’s only eleven. I promise to have you back before one. I’m starving.”

  “Are you only going to the spot because you think he’ll be there? Sounds fishy to me.”

  “I know he’ll be there. He’s the one who invited me, but I’m not interested in going alone. It be mad niggas up there. Maybe you can snag another to replace that damn lunatic you’re dealing with.”

  “He’s no lunatic.”

  “He’s not. He’s thugged the fuck out, and I’m down with that,” Brielle confirmed what I already knew.

  “Of course, you are. Can you send me the location? Because I’m not riding with you. If your new boo is in attendance, then you won’t be ready to leave when I am… which will be after I eat.”

  “Have your way. I’m leaving out of the house now. I’ll text you the address. Thanks, friend.”

  “Bye, Brielle.”

  Instead of keeping on the clothes that I was currently wearing, I decided on a pair of navy tights and a white button down that stopped above my navel. I paired the simple fit with the Balenciaga sneakers that had come in the mail three days prior. With graduation in a few weeks, it was a gift to myself for sticking it out and finishing my Bachelor’s degree with a 4.0 GPA.

  Brielle had sent the address like she said she would, giving me the okay to leave as well. The little breakfast spot was only fourteen minutes from my house, so I was the first on the lot. As she’d mentioned, it was jumping, and it seemed to be more niggas inside than females. The large glass windows gave me a straight and narrow view inside of the diner.

  “Gauge!” The peck on my window startled me from my thoughts. I’d absentmindedly began searching the parking lot for Sosa’s car. A part of me had only agreed to neglect sleep, thinking that he’d possibly be with his friend.

  “You scared me.” I rolled the window down as I admired my friend’s cute setup.

  She was rocking some high-waist denim, a bejeweled fanny pack, a plum crop top, and some plum Nike Air Max. Her body was sickening, putting my little curves to shame. Needless to say, she flaunted them every chance she got, and I couldn’t be mad at her.

  “You look cute,” I admitted. “Step back, boo. Let me get out.”

  “And you talking about I look cute. Where are these tights from? That ass looking like an entire entrée. Tits for dessert. Where’s your bra?”

  “At home where I left it.” I shrugged.

  We walked into the diner, which I’d learned to be Theo’s Place, and took our seats in the far-left corner where we could see all of the action. Amongst the group of men that were posted to the far right, I noticed Sosa’s friend.

  “He’s kind of handsome, Brielle. Maybe you two can work your way on past the friend status.”

  “I’ll leave that to you and your lunatic.” Brielle checked her appearance in the handheld mirror. “I’ll be right back. Let me go see what this nigga is on.”

  I watched as she strutted over toward the table before being pulled into Cayman’s lap. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, I knew that smile from anywhere. She liked him. With her pain still fresh, I was aware that she wouldn’t jump into anything, but that didn’t keep me from wishing her the best. Brielle was such a good person, and to know she was hurting was agonizing for me.

  “May I help you?” I hadn’t noticed the waitress’s presence until I heard her voice.

  “Yes. I’ll take four scrambled eggs with cheese, lots of it, please. I’d also like a stack of pancakes. How many does it come with?”

  “Three.”

  “Three sounds good.”

  “Anything else for you?”

  “Can I have the same thing for my friend with two orange juices, please?”

  “Coming right up. Can I take your menus, please?”

  “Sure.” I handed her the two menus that we’d never even touched.

  Brielle returned with a smirk, causing me to question her motive. Either she was about to announce her departure or give me some detail on a conversation she’d just had that I probably wanted no parts of hearing. There was no telling with her.

  “So.”

  “So what, Brielle?”

  She paused to accept the orange juice that the waitress had brought us both out. “So Cayman just got a call.”

  “And why does this concern me?” I slid the straw I’d unwrapped into the juice in front of me.

  “According to what I heard, he just pulled up.”

  “And you’re telling me this because?”

  “Because you want to know, bitch. Don’t act like you didn’t come only because you thought he’d be here already. You don’t do Sunday nights for anyone. Anyone!”

  Before responding, I chuckled. I’d been caught red-handed. “So maybe you have a point there.”

  “Exactly. I was just giving you a heads up.” Brielle slid back out of the booth. “I’ll be back when the food comes.”

  “Just to be frank, if I feel the least bit discomforted, I’m leaving.”

  “Or if he mentions sliding down that dick again, you’re leaving. I understand, girl.”

  “Go away.” I waved her off. My friend knew me so well.

  With the way Sosa was swinging that hood wood, I’d burn rubber getting back to my house if he wanted us to indulge in one another again. I couldn’t deny my sexual attraction to him. It didn’t help that he was savagely addictive.

  “Umm. Hmmm. Don’t front for me.”

  The minute Brielle stepped off, I began watching the door through my peripheral while knocking the edge off my nervousness by playing the word search game I’d downloaded on my phone to calm my anxiety. My nerve endings were shot, feet tapping against the floor and teeth chattering against one another.

  For a split second, I figured I should put myself out of my misery and go home for bed, but just as I rose from my seat, the waitress appeared. As she placed our plates on the table, I noticed the red ensemble I’d seen hours prior stroll through the door. The lump of dry air that had clogged my throat nearly took my entire cup of orange juice to shrink before I was able to rid myself of it.

  My eyes combed over his entire frame, flashbacks of the previous night causing a stirring in my underwear. Su
rely, I’d made a mess of myself. I could feel the stickiness in the seat of them. I assumed he’d felt the effects of my gazing because the first direction his eyes followed was mine. We locked eyes for a brief second before he slid his tongue across his top teeth and lifted the right side of his top lip as if he were disgusted with my presence.

  It was obvious he was pissed, but that didn’t stop him from checking me out. I wanted to stand and twirl for his ass since he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off me. I broke contact, assuring the waitress that we wouldn’t be needing anything else for the time being. When my head rose, again from checking out my plate, Sosa had disappeared.

  Instantly, my eyes roamed the entire diner in search of him. When they finally landed, I wasn’t pleased with their discovery. Up at the counter and sitting in one of the bar stools, Sosa and I locked eyes as he wrapped his arms around a young woman I guessed he’d met up with. His hands moved down toward her ass and didn’t stop until he was under her cheeks.

  The barf that rose up my throat was swallowed back, causing me to scrunch my face due to the bitterness and burn I tasted. I wouldn’t make it through my meal. I wouldn’t even make it through the next few minutes, so I grabbed my phone to text Brielle and let her know.

  Sosa

  From a distance, I could feel the anger radiating from her beautiful chestnut skin as she pecked away at the keys on her cell. To the far left was her girl, the thick bitch whose ass was grinding against my partner’s lap. Like clockwork, she put her phone to her face the minute she received a notification. A second later, she was looking in my direction. I nodded and held my spiked orange juice up a bit.

  “Where the hell you been?” Kimberly questioned.

  She was an around-the-way girl who claimed to have kept her shit exclusive for me until she realized I wasn’t looking for anything serious. Strangely, I’d relayed the message upfront. After busting her ass down in broad daylight in the back of her ride the first day I met her, I thought she knew what was up.

  Any woman who lacked respect for herself couldn’t get that shit from me. I’d have been a bit more understanding if she’d invited me to her crib, but she was too desperate and didn’t want to fuck up the opportunity to get with me. It was shit like that that made me question everything women stood for and keep them at a distance. But the woman that was currently tossing money on the table to pay for an untouched meal had me questioning my own damn self.

  Focusing on the table full of niggas and a few bitches they were fucking, I contemplated going after her. The thought vanished as I reasoned with myself. Forever cautious, I refused to show any signs of interest in anything or anyone for a few reasons. For starters, attachment was a sign of weakness in the game.

  The minute you exposed your weakness, you became open season for the cops and the robbers. Even if niggas weren’t plotting now, they’d know where to start whenever they did. The last thing I wanted was to give motherfuckers ammunition to take shots.

  So I remained seated as she stood from her booth and stormed out. I watched through the window to make sure she got to her car safely. Watching her speed out of the parking lot had been comical, especially since she’d just come from a date with some ole lame ass nigga.

  “That’s you?” Kimberly reminded me that she was present.

  “That’s none of your fucking business. You trying to put them lips to better use?”

  “If you’ve got a job for them, they’re willing to take it.”

  “Call me in about an hour. Let me holler at my people. Step off.”

  With a smile on her face, she obliged and joined her friends at the other end of the counter where she was when I’d walked inside. Cayman rose as he witnessed Kimberly step away. Nodding, I encouraged him to bring his little sidekick with him. I had a few questions for her about her bipolar ass friend. Cayman’s face covered in perplexity, but he demanded that she join us anyway.

  “Let me holler at her really quick, Caym,” I announced once they’d made their way over.

  “Aight. I’m going to take a piss.”

  Once we were alone, I began. “What is her problem?”

  “I don’t know, exactly.”

  “You’re her friend, and you don’t know.” Scratching the side of my face, I stared back at her with questioning eyes.

  She’d rested her cell phone on the counter, giving me the right to it. I picked it up, which caused her to move forward and get the first fair warning.

  “Don’t.” I put a single finger in the air.

  “Why do you have my phone?”

  “Because I saw her text you before she left. Since you can’t tell me what her issue is, then I’ll find out myself.”

  “I highly doubt it. My phone is locked. So if you don’t mind, hand it back.”

  “I mind,” I informed her following the fingerprints on her screen to enter her code. So predictable. Flipping the screen around, I showed her the text thread she was currently engaged in with Gauge.

  “I see you’ve got some sense. Why doesn’t your friend listen to you?”

  In the few messages that I read before exiting the messaging application, I saw that Brielle was encouraging Gauge to approach me instead of leaving. Apparently, she wanted Gauge to confess to the fact that she had plotted the date in revenge and ended up cancelling it once I showed my face. As well, she’d warned of her the side effects of losing good dick. From the looks of it, Brielle was suffering from a loss herself.

  Checking her recent calls, I was partially stunned by the amount of times Cayman had reached out to her. There wasn’t a single outgoing call to his cell. That nigga was hooked. I could smell that shit on him when he walked his ass over. Putting thoughts of their fling to the side, I dialed Gauge’s number, knowing that my shit was blocked.

  She answered on the second ring. “I can’t stand that fine ass nigga. I swear.”

  “Good, because I can’t stand you either. Where you at? I’m coming to you.”

  “Fuck you, Sosa.”

  “I can arrange that,” I fed into her theatrics. “Where are you?”

  “On your goddamn mind.”

  “I’ll catch up with you.”

  She didn’t give me a chance to say anything else before disconnecting the call. Gauge was a bold motherfucker, if I must say so myself. Not only was she reckless at the mouth, but she had no boundaries, and fear was absent of her body. That shit made my dick stand. I had yet to meet anyone—woman or man—on Earth who felt comfortable enough to speak to me in such a hostile manner.

  “She mentioned an eight o’clock tomorrow.”

  “She’s in college. It’s her last year.”

  “What school does she attend?”

  “SMU.”

  We went back and forth as I garnered information that I hadn’t known previously. Gauge wasn’t just as intriguing as she looked. According to Brielle, she’d be graduating in the upcoming weeks and had been a student at SMU for the last four years. It all made sense. Her crib was only about eight minutes away from the campus. Knowing that exams and shit were coming up as well as her early class the following morning, I cancelled my plans of pursuing her. She was a good girl, and I wouldn’t bring shit but chaos to her little world. I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I was fucked up like that. The only thing that followed me was trouble.

  “Appreciate you.”

  Brielle wasn’t as thrilled, returning to her seat as she had been on her way over.

  Chapter 5

  Gauge

  As I strutted through campus grounds on my way to have a cup of coffee before my next exam, I noticed the deep-red Bentley that I’d seen on the picture Sosa had sent to our group message a while ago. It couldn’t be mistaken, not with the custom wheels and man in red sitting on the roof with smoke floating from his lips and into the air. Sosa was unbelievable.

  Two weeks. That’s how much time had elapsed before I heard anything else from Sosa. Certainly, his presence was delightful, but the last thing I needed at
the moment was to be distracted. Instead of continuing my path, I cut through the grass and decided against the coffee after all. Seeing him would put enough on my mind to keep me awake during the hour-long exam I had at twelve.

  As the thick shards of grass ate away at my ankles, I could hear footsteps behind me. They were closing in as I tried picking up my pace. I’d completely forgotten the length of his legs and the fact that two of my steps amounted to one of his. Within seconds, I was being flung around and slung into a solid chest.

  Damn, I missed this nigga, I confessed, but not a peep left my lips. With his arm around my neck and face buried in my hair, he inhaled. I felt him tighten around me as I tried maneuvering from within his grasp.

  “Did you miss a nigga?” he questioned, reading my thoughts.

  “Let me go,” I demanded.

  “I tried,” he spoke of an act more complex than the physical of which I was speaking of. “I tried.”

  “Then try harder.”

  “Let me talk to you.” Finally letting up, Sosa held me at arm’s length.

  “About what, Sosa? There’s nothing for us to talk about. Let’s be honest here. I don’t even know you. You—”

  “Sosa Giyani Law,” he spoke, cutting my off.

  “What?”

  “Twenty-seven-year-old, dope-slanging, gun-toting nigga straight from Oak Cliff. I ain’t the most social nigga, but I’ve been wanting to socialize with you. Never had a bitch. No kids. No crazy stalkers. Pops doing a bid. Moms died when I was nineteen. Low-key. Introverted at best. I prefer my lonesomeness, but you’ve been making a nigga reconsider.”

  “Why are you telling me all of this?”

  “Because I don’t need any more excuses for you to avoid me. Now that you know me, can I get to know you?”

  “Seeing as though you know where I go to school, where I live, and my schedule… I’d say that you know me well enough.”

  “Good, then. On to the next phase.”

  “Sosa.”