by Linda Howard
Barrie felt her nerves jolt and her stomach muscles tighten as she stared across the parking deck at him. She was actually marrying this man. He looked taller than she remembered, a little leaner, though his shoulders were so wide they strained the seams of his white cotton shirt. His black hair was a bit longer, she thought, but his tan was just as dark. Except for the slight weight loss, he didn’t show any sign of having been shot only a little over two months earlier. His physical toughness was intimidating; he was intimidating. How could she have forgotten? She had remembered only his consideration, his passion, the tender care he’d given her, but he’d used no weapon other than his bare hands to kill that guard. While she had remembered his lethal competency and planned to use it on her own behalf, she had somehow forgotten that it was a prominent part of him, not a quality she could call up when she needed it and tuck away into a corner when the need was over. She would have to deal with this part of him on a regular basis and accept the man he was. He wasn’t, and never would be, a tame house cat.
She liked house cats, but she didn’t want him to be one, she realized.
She felt another jolt, this time of self-discovery. She needed to be safe now, because of the baby, but she didn’t want to be permanently cossetted and protected. The grueling episode in Benghazi had taught her that she was tougher and more competent than she’d ever thought, in ways she hadn’t realized. Her father would have approved if she’d married some up-and-coming ambassador-to-be, but that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted some wildness in her life, and Zane Mackenzie was it. For all that maddening control of his, he was fierce and untamed. He didn’t have a streak of wildness; he had a core of it.
The strain between them unnerved her. She had dreamed of him finding her and holding out his arms, of falling into them, and when she had opened the door to him today she had expected, like a fool, for her dream to be enacted. Reality was much more complicated than dreams.
The truth was, they had known each other for about twenty-four hours total, and most of those hours had been over two months earlier. In those hours they had made love with raw, scorching passion, and he had made her pregnant, but the amount of time remained the same.
Perhaps he had been involved with someone else, but a sense of responsibility had driven him to locate her and find out if their lovemaking had had any consequences. He would do that, she thought; he would turn his back on a girlfriend, perhaps even a fiancée, to assume the responsibility for his child.
Again she was crashing into the brick wall of ignorance; she didn’t know anything about his personal life. If she had known anything about his family, where he was from, she would have been able to find him. Instead, he must think she hadn’t cared enough even to ask about his condition, to find out if he had lived or died.
He was coming back to the car now, his stride as smooth and effortlessly powerful as she remembered, the silent walk of a predator. His dark face was as impassive as before, defying her efforts to read his expression.
He opened the door and slid behind the wheel. “Transport will be here in a few minutes.”
She nodded, but her mind was still occupied with their personal tangle. Before she lost her nerve, she said evenly, “I tried to find you. They took me back to Athens immediately, while you were still in surgery. I tried to get in touch with you, find out if you were still alive, how you were doing, what hospital you were in—anything. Dad had Admiral Lindley block every inquiry I made. He did tell me you were going to be okay, but that’s all I was able to find out.”
“I guessed as much. I tried to call you at the embassy a couple of weeks after the mission. The call was routed to your father.”
“He didn’t tell me you’d called,” she said, the familiar anger and pain twisting her insides. Since she’d been forced off the Montgomery, those had been her two main emotions. So he had tried to contact her. Her heart lifted a little. “After I came home, I tried again to find you, but the Navy wouldn’t tell me anything.”
“The antiterrorism unit is classified.” His tone was absent; he was watching in the mirrors as another car drove slowly past them, looking for an empty slot.
She sat quietly, nerves quivering, until the car had disappeared up the ramp to the next level.
“I’m sorry,” she said, after several minutes of silence. “I know this is a lot to dump in your lap.”
He gave her an unreadable glance, his eyes very clear and blue. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
This time the look he gave her was so long that she blushed and concentrated her attention on her hands, which were twisting together in her lap.
“If I did, I wouldn’t have made love to you,” he finally said.
Oh, dear. She bit her lip. This was going from bad to worse. He was getting more and more remote, as if the fleeting moment of silent communication between them when he’d asked her to marry him had never existed. Her stomach clenched, and suddenly a familiar sensation of being too hot washed over her.
She swallowed hard, praying that the nausea that had so far confined itself to the mornings wasn’t about to put in an unexpected appearance. A second later she was scrambling out of the car and frantically looking around for a bathroom. God, did parking decks have bathrooms?
“Barrie!” Zane was out of the car, striding toward her, his dark face alert. She had the impression that he intended to head her off, though she hadn’t yet chosen a direction in which to dash.
The stairwell? The elevator? She thought of the people who would use them and discarded both options. The most sensible place was right there on the concrete, and everything fastidious in her rebelled at the idea. Her stomach had different ideas, however, and she clamped a desperate hand over her mouth just as Zane reached her.
Those sharp, pale eyes softened with comprehension. “Here,” he said, putting a supporting arm around her. The outside barriers of the parking deck were waist-high concrete walls, and that was where he swiftly guided her. She resisted momentarily, appalled at the possibility of throwing up on some unsuspecting passerby below, but his grip was inexorable, and her stomach wasn’t waiting any longer. He held her as she leaned over the wall and helplessly gave in to the spasm of nausea.
She was shaking when it was over. The only comfort she could find was that, when she opened her eyes, she saw there was nothing three stories below but an alley. Zane held her, leaning her against his supporting body while he blotted her perspiring face with his handkerchief, then gave it to her so she could wipe her mouth. She felt scorched with humiliation. The strict teachings of her school in Switzerland hadn’t covered what a lady should do after vomiting in public.
And then she realized he was crooning to her, his deep voice an almost inaudible murmur as he brushed his lips against her temple, her hair. One strong hand was splayed over her lower belly, spanning her from hipbone to hipbone, covering his child. Her knees felt like noodles, so she let herself continue leaning against him, let her head fall into the curve of his shoulder.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he whispered, once again pressing his lips to her temple. “Can you make it back to the car, or do you want me to carry you?”
She couldn’t gather her thoughts enough to give him a coherent answer. After no more than a second, he evidently thought he’d given her enough time to decide, so he made the decision for her by scooping her up into his arms. A few quick strides brought them to the car. He bent down and carefully placed her on the seat, lifting her legs into the car, arranging her skirt over them. “Do you want something to drink? A soft drink?”
Something cold and tart sounded wonderful. “No caffeine,” she managed to say.
“You won’t be out of my sight for more than twenty seconds, but keep an eye out for passing cars, and blow the horn if anything scares you.”
She nodded, and he hit the door lock, then closed the door, shutting her inside a cocoon of silence. She preferred the fresh air but u
nderstood why she shouldn’t be standing outside the car, exposed to view—and an easy target. She leaned her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. The nausea was gone as swiftly as it had come, though her insides felt like jelly. She was weak, and sleepy, and a bit bemused by his sudden tenderness.
Though she shouldn’t be surprised, she thought. She was pregnant with his child, and the possibility of exactly that was what had brought him in search of her. As soon as he’d realized she was nauseated, a condition directly related to her condition, so to speak, he’d shown nothing but tender concern and demonstrated once again his ability to make snap decisions in urgent situations.
His tap on the window startled her, because in her sleepy state she hadn’t thought he’d been gone nearly long enough to accomplish his mission. But a green can, frosty with condensation, was in his hand, and suddenly she ferociously wanted that drink. She unlocked the door and all but snatched the can from him before he could slide into the seat. She had it popped open and was drinking greedily by the time he closed the door.
When the can was empty, she leaned back with a sigh of contentment. She heard a low, strained laugh and turned her head to find Zane looking at her with both amusement and something hot and feral mingled in his gaze. “That’s the first time watching a woman drink a soft drink has made me hard. Do you want another? I’ll try to control myself, but a second one might be more than I can stand.”
Barrie’s eyes widened. A blush warmed her cheeks, but that didn’t stop her from looking at his lap. He was telling the truth. Good heavens, was he ever telling the truth! Her hand clenched with the sudden need to reach out and stroke him. “I’m not thirsty now,” she said, her voice huskier than usual. “But I’m willing to go for a second one if you are.”
The amusement faded out of his eyes, leaving only the heat behind. He was reaching out for her when his head suddenly snapped around, his attention caught by an approaching vehicle. “Here’s our ride,” he said, and once again his voice was cool and emotionless.
Chapter 10
She was marrying him because she wanted his protection. The thought gnawed at Zane during the long flight to Las Vegas. She sat quietly beside him, sometimes dozing, talking only if he asked her a question. She had the drained look of someone who had been under a lot of pressure, and now that it had eased, her body was giving in to fatigue. Finally she fell soundly asleep, her head resting against his shoulder.
The pregnancy would be taking a toll on her, too. He couldn’t see any physical change in her yet, but his three older brothers had produced enough children that he knew how tired women always got the first few months—at least, how tired Shea and Loren had been. Nothing ever slowed Caroline down, not even five sons.
At the thought of the baby, fierce possessiveness jolted through him again. His baby was inside her. He wanted to scoop her onto his lap and hold her, but a crowded plane wasn’t the place for what he had in mind. That would have to wait until after the marriage ceremony, when they were in a private hotel room.
He wanted her even more than he had before.
When she had opened the door and he’d looked down into her stunned green eyes, his arousal had been so strong and immediate that he’d had to restrain himself from reaching for her. Only the sight of her father bearing down on them had held him back.
He shouldn’t have waited as long as he had. As soon as he’d been able to get around okay, he should have come after her. She had been living in fear, and handling it the same way she had in Benghazi, with calm determination.
He didn’t want her ever to be afraid again.
Bunny’s and Spooky’s arrival at the parking deck, in Bunny’s personally customized 1969 Oldsmobile 442, had been like a reunion. Barrie had tumbled out of the rental car with a happy cry and been enthusiastically hugged and twirled around by both SEALs. They were both discreetly armed, he’d noticed approvingly. They were wearing civilian clothes, with their shirts left loose outside their pants to conceal the firepower tucked under their arms and in the smalls of their backs. Normally, when they were off-duty, they didn’t carry firearms, but Zane had explained the situation to them and left their preparations to their own discretion, since he wasn’t their commanding officer any longer. In typical fashion, they had prepared for anything. His own weapon was still resting in a holster under his left armpit, covered by a lightweight summer jacket.
“Don’t you worry none, ma’am,” Spooky had reassuringly told Barrie. “We’ll get you and the boss to the airport safe and sound. There’s nothing outside of NASCAR that can keep up with Bunny’s wheels.”
“I’m sure there isn’t,” she’d replied, eyeing the car. It looked unremarkable enough; Bunny had painted it a light gray, and there wasn’t any more chrome than would be on a factory job. But the deep-throated rumble from the idling engine didn’t sound like any sound a factory engine would make, and the tires were wide, with a soft-looking tread.
“Bulletproof glass, reinforced metal,” Bunny said proudly as he helped Zane transfer her luggage to the trunk of his car. “Plate steel would be too heavy for the speed I want, so I went with the new generation of body armor material, lighter and stronger than Kevlar. I’m still working on the fireproofing.”
“I’ll feel perfectly safe,” she assured him.
As she and Zane crawled into the back seat of the two-door car, she whispered to him, “Where’s Nascar?”
Spooky could hear a pin drop at forty paces. Slowly he turned around in the front seat, his face mirroring his incredulity. “Not where, ma’am,” he said, struggling with shock. “What. NASCAR. Stock car racing.” A good Southerner, he’d grown up with stock car racing and was always stunned when he encountered someone who hadn’t enjoyed the same contact with the sport.
“Oh,” Barrie said, giving him an apologetic smile. “I’ve spent a lot of time in Europe. I don’t know anything about racing except for the Grand Prix races.”
Bunny snorted in derision. “Play cars,” he said dismissively. “You can’t run them on the streets. Stock car racing, now that’s real racing.” As he was speaking, he was wheeling his deceptive monster out of the parking deck, his restless gaze touching on every surrounding detail.
“I’ve been to horse races,” Barrie offered, evidently in an attempt to redeem herself.
Zane controlled a smile at the earnestness of her tone. “Do you ride?” he asked.
Her attention swung to him. “Why, yes. I love horses.”
“You’ll make a good Mackenzie, then,” Spooky drawled. “Boss raises horses in his spare time.” There was a bit of irony in his tone, because SEALs had about as much spare time as albinos had color.
“Do you really?” Barrie asked, her eyes shining.
“I own a few. Thirty or so.”
“Thirty!” She sat back, a slight look of confusion on her face. He knew what she was thinking: one horse was expensive to own and keep, let alone thirty. Horses needed a lot of land and care, not something she associated with an ex-Naval officer who had been a member of an elite antiterrorism group.
“It’s a family business,” he explained, swiveling his head to examine the traffic around them.
“Everything’s clear, boss,” Bunny said. “Unless they’ve tagged us with a relay, but I don’t see how that’s possible.”
Zane didn’t, either, so he relaxed. A moving relay surveillance took a lot of time and coordination to set up, and the route had to be known. Bunny was taking such a circuitous route to the airport that any tail would long since have been revealed or shaken. Things were under control—for now.
They made it to National without incident, though to be on the safe side Bunny and Spooky had escorted them as far as the security check. While Zane quietly handled his own armed passage through security, his two former team members had taken themselves off to collect the rental car and turn it in, though to the agency office at Dulles, not National, where he had rented it. Just another little twist to delay anyone who w
as looking for them.
Now that they were safely on the plane, he began planning what he would do to put an end to the situation.
The first part of it was easy. He would put Chance on the job of finding out what kind of mess her father was involved in; for her sake, he hoped it wasn’t anything treasonous, but whatever was going on, he intended to put a stop to it. Chance had access to information that put national security agencies to shame. If William Lovejoy was selling out his country, then he would go down. There was no other option. Zane had spent his adult years offering his life in protection of his country, and now he was a peace officer sworn to uphold the law; it was impossible for him to look the other way, even for Barrie. He didn’t want her to be hurt, but he damn sure wanted her to be safe.
Barrie slept until the airliner’s wheels bounced on the pavement. She sat upright, pushing her hair away from her face, looking about with a slight sense of disorientation. She had never before been able to sleep on a plane; this sleepiness was just one more of the many changes her pregnancy was making in her body, and her lack of control over the process was disconcerting, even frightening.
On the other hand, the rest had given her additional energy, something she needed to face the immense change she was about to make in her life. This change was deliberate, but no less frightening.
“I want to shower and change clothes first,” she said firmly. This marriage might be hasty, without any resemblance to the type of wedding ceremony she had always envisioned for herself, but while she was willing to forgo the pomp and expensive trappings, she wasn’t willing—outside of a life-and-death situation—to get married wearing wrinkled clothes and still blinking sleep from her eyes.
“Okay. We’ll check in to a hotel first.” He rubbed his jaw, his callused fingers rasping over his beard stubble. “I need to have a shave anyway.”