Allen’s shoulders slumped. “I thought he was doing better. He just got out of rehab.”
Tony felt sorry for him. Allen clearly loved his brother and didn’t have anything to do with the drugs. “Don’t ever give up.”
Allen nodded sadly. “Tony, can I speak privately with you?”
“Yes.” He stiffened. Didn’t Allen know he’d been volunteering at the home? Would he try to stop Travis from hiring him? If he decided to stay, that is.
Both men waited in silence while the others left the room. Allen walked slowly over to Tony and pulled him into a bear hug.
“I always wondered what happened to you. And I’ve waited a long time to apologize.”
Until that moment, Tony had never thought he needed an apology. But the words meant more to him than he’d ever imagined. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“Excuse me,” Allen said. “I need to go talk to Travis.”
Stepping into the hallway, he caught Jarrod’s attention. “I need to go. I promised Sabrina I’d fill her in.”
Tony reached the entrance when he heard someone calling his name. He turned around to see Kyle running toward him.
“Police arrested Martin a few minutes ago. Did you have something to do with that?”
“I did, Kyle. Remember when I told you that doing nothing is as bad as helping the drug dealers?”
Kyle nodded. “I know that. I’ve been sending Scott’s dad tips for weeks.”
“That was you?” Jarrod asked.
“Yes. But I didn’t know someone here was involved. What’s going to happen now? To the home, I mean.”
Tony nodded to the closed doors. “Nothing. The home wasn’t at fault. I’m proud of you and I want you to know that I’ll never give up on you. Or any of the kids here. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you have a home.”
“We want that, too.” Travis stood in the open door.
Allen stepped around Travis and extended his hand. “Travis told me he offered you a job, but I have the feeling the sheriff’s department is going to be keeping you pretty busy.”
Tony clasped Kyle’s shoulder and grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll always make time for Little Mountain.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
SHE PACED AROUND the house all afternoon. Tony had said he’d come over later. Where was he? She’d already swept and mopped, dusted everything twice and scrubbed out the refrigerator. What more could she do? She wandered through the house.
The dirty clothes hamper was only half full, but she carried it across the backyard to the laundry shed. The old house was too small for a washer and dryer, so her father had added a laundry room to the back of his workshop. Her mother had been so excited the day Dad installed the appliances. It hadn’t taken much to make Mom happy. And making Mom happy was what had made Dad happy.
She stuffed clothes into the top of the old machine. All she’d ever wanted was to have someone look at her the way her mom and dad used to look at each other. No. Scratch that. She wanted Tony to look at her that way.
She turned to go back into the house and ran into Tony.
“Whoa.” He caught her arms when she almost bounced off him.
“Sorry. I didn’t see you there.” She’d been too busy wishing for something that she’d never have. “Is everything okay? What happened?”
“Drug dogs found a stash of marijuana hidden on top of Little Mountain. They hid in the bushes until Kurt showed up to recover it. Turns out, Nick would pick up a message from the supplier and pass it off to Martin, who in turn helped Rachel hide the drugs. Then Kurt would wait for the coast to clear and he’d pick it up.”
Martin was one of the few teens at the home that she hadn’t connected with. Something about the way he stared at her had given her the creeps, so unless he came to the medical office, she steered clear of him. “So it’s over?”
“For the most part.” He lifted her chin to look at him. “It’s my turn to apologize for snapping at you at the fireworks. I was jealous and there’s no excuse for my behavior.”
Maybe because she’d just been dreaming about Tony looking at her, it was easy to imagine that his eyes were filled with love, not remorse. “It’s okay. I could’ve set you straight, but I didn’t.”
Tony tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, sending shock waves down her neck. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
The whir of the washing machine faded as the thumping of her heart increased. “What?”
The warmth in the stuffy shed was mild compared to the heat radiating from his body. Sabrina tried to step back and give them both some air, but Tony refused to let her move. He brushed his lips across hers, softly at first, then with more demand. She was only too willing to respond.
Her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. She knew she should break away, but she couldn’t. Just for a moment, she wanted to remember what it was like to be loved. She wanted to be engulfed by feeling and forget about all the responsibilities that had weighed her down for so long.
Pulling away, she pressed her fingers to her trembling lips. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
“This.” He nuzzled her ear, sending chills down her neck.
She tried to push away from him. “You don’t make any sense.”
He rubbed her shoulders. “I needed to know if your friend Julie was right.”
Julie. She rolled her eyes. Julie was convinced that everyone would find their knight in shining armor. When she brought Levi home tomorrow, Sabrina was going to give her a piece of her mind. “Whatever she said, don’t believe it.”
“Tell me the truth. Is it me you don’t love? Or my job?”
Sabrina let out a heavy sigh. “It doesn’t matter, does it? They go together.”
“Growing up, I didn’t have a home. I rarely slept in the same place for more than a month. Everywhere I went, I was looked down on. No one expected me to succeed at anything. Teachers expected me to fail so they gave me failing grades. When I became a police officer all that changed. It gave me a purpose and a sense of identity. Being a cop is as much a part of my blood as this farm is of yours.”
“Yes.” Sabrina put one hand on his cheek. “I understand. I’ve seen the look in your eyes when you talk about your job. I know how much you love it. Which is why I won’t let you throw it away for me.”
He covered her hand with his where it rested on his cheek. His intense gaze sent heat through her. “For ten years I tried to move on. Something was always missing. I didn’t know what it was until I saw you again. You and Levi make me whole. Come to San Antonio with me.”
“I’m proud of the man you’ve become. Of the father that you are. Levi will be here whenever you can get away, but I can’t share that life with you.” She felt like her heart was breaking all over again. Why couldn’t he have asked her to go with him a decade ago? She would’ve followed him all over the world, if only he’d asked.
She couldn’t let herself love him. She’d never survive losing him again.
“I’m not giving up. I needed to see for myself if you still loved me.” He caught her face in his hands. “And now I know. You can’t kiss me like that and tell me you don’t love me, too.”
She took advantage of his confusion and stepped out of his grip. “I can’t let you give up your job for me and Levi. Sooner or later, you’d resent us for it.”
“So you want me to leave?” His eyes were cold.
“Yes. There’s nothing for you here.” She walked back out into the sunshine and rushed into the house.
“Bree,” he called from the porch, a smug look on his face. “You still love me. And I’ll make you admit it.”
If her hands weren’t shaking so badly, she’d have thrown something at him.
* * *
TONY COULDN’T KEEP from grinning all the way to town. He was making progress. With her in his arms, he felt...complete. Like there was nothing he couldn’t do. She’d built a wall around her heart and he was determined to knock it down. Was this how Sabrina felt when they first met?
From the very beginning, she’d pursued him and he’d pushed her away. It didn’t matter how many people warned her about him, she was convinced that he was worth it. All his life people had let him down. By the time he went to live with his grandparents, the wall he’d built around his heart was thick and solid. She’d chipped away at it until he let her in.
He was too wired to sit around his grandparents’ house, so he drove up and down the back roads of town. Some things never changed. The high schoolers still sat in the bank parking lot on Friday and Saturday nights. Farmers and ranchers had coffee at The Eagle’s Nest every morning and solved the world’s problems several times over. Women still sat around the beauty shops and gossiped about everything that happened in town.
Everywhere he looked, things seemed the same. On the surface. But the very fact that a county deputy had sought him out when he got to town was evidence enough of change. Or was he the one who’d changed? Had he been so blinded by his own biases that he’d failed to see the community for what it was? Good people who were willing to help out their neighbor, even if they sometimes were a little hesitant to let outsiders in.
A manila envelope on the passenger seat, stamped and ready to go. His application for the county sheriff’s office. He didn’t need a new job. He had a great one in San Antonio, one that appreciated him. He had the letter of promotion on the kitchen table to prove it. If he was smart, he’d send his acceptance letter to his captain.
A picture of Sabrina and Levi flashed in his mind. His stomach clenched. How could he abandon his son?
Was it abandoning him if he lived just two and half hours away? He’d still see Levi every weekend and he’d be close enough to attend some of his soccer games. Some. Except when he was on an undercover assignment. Or a drug bust was set to go down too close to the weekend. He gulped. That wasn’t good enough. He’d already missed ten years with Levi and he didn’t want to miss out on anything else.
He loved being a cop. But he loved his family more. His family. Sabrina and Levi. Didn’t they count more than a paycheck? The job Travis offered at Little Mountain was as far from police work as it could be, but he enjoyed working with the kids. They needed someone to believe in them. Someone who’d give them a second chance. His heart began to pound. Someone like him.
If he really wanted to make a difference in the lives of kids who’d been affected by drugs, Little Mountain was the perfect place for him. A peace settled over his heart and a weight he didn’t even realize he carried lifted.
He was suddenly anxious to get home and tell them about his decision. They’d be thrilled, even if Sabrina wasn’t. Her words contradicted the emotion in her eyes and the passion in her kiss. Why couldn’t she just ask him to stay?
It wasn’t late and he knew his grandparents would be up. He jumped onto the porch, ignoring the stairs and burst into the living room. “What’s with all the racket?” Papa frowned from his recliner, the remote in his hand.
Tony pulled his shoulders back. “I need to talk to you.”
Abuela set down her needlework. “Last time you said that, you gave us a great-grandchild. You didn’t find another one, did you?” Only the twinkle in her eye betrayed the sense of humor under the surface.
“Not this time.” He grinned and sat on the couch beside her. “I think you should know that I’ve decided to stay in Salt Creek permanently.”
“Oh, mijo!” Abuela grabbed his face and kissed him on each cheek. “You’ve made me so happy.”
Papa folded the footstool of his recliner. “Why would you do that? There’s nothing here for you. You’re going to give up your promotion to move here and do what?”
“I love being a cop. Eventually, I’d like to work for the county sheriff’s department. They don’t have any openings right now, but Travis offered me a job at Little Mountain. I could work there until something opens up.”
His grandfather took his glasses off. “You would give up being a cop to work with the children at Little Mountain?”
He moved to kneel beside the old man’s chair. “You saved me, Papa. I want to help others the way you helped me. I can do that at Little Mountain.”
“Yes, you can. But you’re a cop and you can’t do both. What happens to the children at Little Mountain when you leave them to work at the Sheriff’s Department?”
“I’m still working that out.”
Papa shook his head sternly. “I want you to do what makes you happy, but don’t start something at Little Mountain that you can’t finish.”
Finish what you start. One of Papa’s rules. Under his watchful eyes, Tony hadn’t gotten away with anything. He’d spent the first six months in the town trying to prove just how much he hated it. But no matter what he did, his grandparents hadn’t given up on him. And they’d held him responsible for his actions.
How many hours had it taken him to whitewash an old barn he’d defaced with spray paint? Or worked after school to pay for damages he’d caused? The worst part was having to stand in front of someone and apologize. It was easy to throw a rock through a window or decorate a building with graffiti, but understanding the impact his actions had on others was a difficult pill to swallow.
His grandparents had never talked about his mother. He always suspected it was too painful for them. “I don’t know why Mama left you. I don’t know why she never told me about you. But maybe it happened for a reason. Maybe I grew up the way I did so that I could help others.”
“I know why she left,” Abuela said quietly. “She was a daddy’s girl from the moment she could talk. She followed him everywhere. I could scold her and she’d just glare at me. But Antonio...” she sighed. “Antonio could look at her and she would burst into tears.
“I think she decided she’d rather run away from home and live on her own than to tell her father she was pregnant. That was her way. She never faced her problems. It was much easier to hide from them.”
A knot settled in his stomach. He was just like that. It was always easier to run away from his problems than discuss them. Was that what Sabrina was doing, too? Was she pushing him away because she thought he was leaving anyway?
Abuela stood up from the sofa. She stepped close and took his face in her hands, pressing another kiss to his cheek. “You used to be like that, mijo, but no more. You’re strong. You face your problems. I’m proud of you.”
Guilt weighed on his chest like a boulder. His cheeks flamed hot, and he was too ashamed to tell his grandmother that was exactly what he’d been doing.
* * *
“GOOD MORNING, ROBERT.” Tony waited for him to open the door. “I need to talk to Sabrina.”
“She’s not here.”
He knew that. Her car was gone. Where was she? “Will she be back soon?”
Robert’s face twisted. “No.”
Tony waited, but it was obvious Robert wasn’t going to offer any more information. “I know you don’t like me, but please, I need to speak with her.”
“We should talk, first.” Robert held open the door and waited for Tony to enter. “I want to know what your intentions are.”
“My intentions are to marry her and love her every day for the rest of her life.” Tony pulled his shoulders back. “I’d like to have your blessing, but honestly, it won’t stop me if you don’t give it.”
Robert laughed. “I don’t reckon it would stop her, either. But maybe you should tell me what you did that’s got her all in a tizzy.”
“Sabrina is afraid I’m going to regret quitting my job in San Antonio.”
“You quit your job in the city? That
’s a big step.” Robert leaned back in his chair. “How’re you gonna support Levi with no job?”
“I’ve been offered a position at Little Mountain, but I also have my application in with the Lampasas County Sheriff’s Department. If they don’t hire me, I’ll apply with San Saba, Goldthwaite and every little town in a fifty-mile radius.”
“So you’re not going to quit being a cop?”
“I can’t quit being a cop any more than you can quit being a farmer.” Tony shook his head.
If he could get Robert to believe in him, why couldn’t he get Sabrina to?
Robert scratched his head. “She’s in Lampasas trying to apply for a grant. She got accepted into the nursing program and needs it for tuition.”
“No offense, Robert,” Tony said, “but didn’t she get an inheritance when her mother died?”
“She used most of it for her prerequisites. Once she starts the program, she won’t be able to work full-time anymore. Little Mountain has agreed to use her part-time, but she says it won’t be enough to cover it all. Darn girl won’t let me pay for nothing, either.”
“Do you know what grant she’s applying for?” Sabrina might not want anyone’s help, but she was about to get it.
Robert dug some papers out of a drawer in the kitchen. He pulled out a notepad with Sabrina’s messy scrawl scribbled across it. “Here. That’s all the information I can give you.”
It took a few minutes to decipher the handwriting, but Tony managed to do it. His chest swelled. “Thank you, Robert. I won’t let her down.”
Tony jumped in his Durango and headed to Central Texas College as fast as he could go.
The clerk behind the desk was young, which was a plus. When she called Tony’s number, he put on his most charming smile and sat across from her. It took him all of ten minutes to convince her to help him.
“I could probably lose my job if this goes badly.” The young woman glanced over her shoulder.
Tony’s knee bounced with energy. “I don’t want you to do anything that will make you feel uncomfortable. All I need is a letter on college stationary and a college stamp.”
Her Texas Rebel Page 22