by J. F. Gump
“I am glad you still like it,” Sawat said, misinterpreting her moan. “The best is yet to come.” He continued his rough assault.
At first she just lay there thinking he would finish quickly, as he always had. After three minutes she decided the Mekong had desensitized him and he might go on for a long time. Worse, her initial arousal had waned and she could feel herself going dry. She didn’t want to see what his reaction might be, if he realized she wasn’t excited for him. She began moving in rhythm with Sawat and faking low moans of sexual pleasure, hoping it would hurry him along. Within a minute, she felt his member increase in rigidity and begin pulsing in the early stages of orgasm. Quickly, and in one swift motion, she rolled him onto his back. Now she was in control. She strained to tighten every muscle in her womanhood. Very purposefully, she moved to bring Sawat to a climax. In a moment, he was on the verge of release. At the last moment, she pulled herself from him and twisted around to take his straining member in her mouth. She did not want him to climax inside of her.
As if understanding what she was doing, he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her mouth away. “I don’t think so, you bitch,” he said. “It’s been a long time and I’m going to fill you with my seed.” He forced her back onto the bed and pushed her legs apart. For the second time he made a quick penetration.
By then Math was dry and, if it were not for her saliva on him, his assault would have been brutally painful. Within seconds, Sawat was in the throes of orgasm. Math moaned softly and said she was climaxing too. She was afraid not to put on one final display of pleasure. She didn’t want to risk the repercussions, if he thought she had not enjoyed his lovemaking.
In a minute, his manhood turned flaccid and slipped from her. She was happy it was over. “Sawat, darling,” she purred falsely in his ear. “I must go to the toilet.”
She got up from the bed, put on a robe, and hurried to the communal bath. She was thankful no one else there. She washed Sawat out of her body as best as she could. Over and over again she washed herself out. Even after she had finished washing, she still felt dirty. She put her robe back on and returned to her room.
Sawat was asleep. The bottle of Mekong lay empty next to the bed. She was tired, but she didn’t lie down. Instead, she sat in her only chair and waited for morning to come.
By seven o’clock, Sawat still hadn’t stirred. Math put on fresh clothes and make-up. At seven-thirty she sat on the bed and shook him gently.
“Sawat, darling,” she said, when he opened his eyes. “Thank you for last night. I forgot how good you can make me feel. You were wonderful both times.” It was a lie of convenience.
“Both times?” he asked. “I can only remember one.”
“Oh, Sawat,” she said coyly. “How could you forget the second time? You were even better than the first.”
He sat up and puffed out his chest. “I knew you would like it.”
“Darling,” she said, “I have promised to do many things for my mother and my brother today, and you must go to work before ten o’clock. We must hurry to the police station before it gets too late. When you finish work tonight, you must come back to me. I cannot wait to have you make love to me again.”
She smiled and pulled him into a standing position. She could see he was becoming aroused. She wished she had not laid it on so thick with the ‘how wonderful you were’ line. Quickly, she changed the subject. “I must go to my mother’s house before she leaves for work. I will be back by the time you have cleaned up and dressed.”
She left Sawat and his growing arousal behind, but she didn’t go to her mother’s. Instead, she drove her motorcycle aimlessly through the streets of Phitsanulok. When she arrived back at her house, Sawat was dressed and waiting for her. He was neither smiling nor frowning. She wondered what thoughts were going through his head.
“We can ride on my motorcycle,” she said. “After the police station, I will drive you to your house.”
Sawat nodded, climbed aboard the motorcycle, and wrapped his arms around her body. She ignored his hands fondling her breasts. She consoled herself with the thought that in an hour or so it would be finished. She was relieved when she finally parked the motorcycle at the police station and extracted herself from Sawat’s groping embrace. As she started toward the door, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around.
“Remember Math, after I do this, you and I will be a couple again. I expect you to keep your promise. Don’t make a fool of me, because I will hurt you if you do. I swear to Buddha, I will hurt you bad.” His glare was unmistakable proof that he meant what he said.
“I would never do that, Sawat,” she replied, keeping her feelings in check. I don’t have to make a fool of him, she thought, he does a fine job of that on his own. She left her thoughts unspoken.
Together, they entered the police station. Everyone was expecting Math’s arrival, and they all knew her from her frequent enforced visits. But, they hadn’t been expecting Sawat. They stared in wonder at Math and Sawat arriving together. After a moment, one young officer broke the silence. “May I help you?” he asked, looking first at Math, then at Sawat, and then at Math again.
“I have decided not to press charges,” Sawat said, his tone extremely flat and monotone for a Thai. “What papers do I need to sign to give Math her freedom?”
“Are you sure...?” the young officer started, but quickly stopped. “Never mind. Please have a seat and we will finish this business as fast as we can.”
Math had always been a favorite of the police at the station. She was always open and very polite. They had decided a long time ago, that if she had shot Sawat, it was for a good reason. The officer was glad that this was ending in Math’s favor.
With record-breaking speed for the Thai police, the officer soon had everything ready for Sawat’s signature. He signed everywhere the policeman pointed, while Math stood by in muted excitement.
“That’s it,” the officer announced, face beaming. “Good luck to both of you and especially to you, Math. I am happy we don’t have to lock you up like a common criminal.”
Math pressed her hands together in prayer-like fashion, placed her fingers high on her face and presented the officer with a wai of deep respect. The officer smiled, but did not return her wai.
Outside, Sawat grabbed her by the arm again. “Don’t forget what I have done for you, and don’t forget what I told you earlier,” he threatened. “I will hurt you if you make me lose face. I will hurt you real bad. Now take me home.”
She didn’t react to his threats. She started her motorcycle, waited for Sawat to board, then drove toward his apartment. This time he didn’t fondle her breasts or anything else. She wondered what he was thinking.
Within ten minutes they arrived at his shabby apartment complex and Sawat dismounted from the motorcycle. “I will see you at ten o’clock tonight,” he said. “You had better be there or you are in big trouble. I will make you pay, if you are not there. Do you understand me?”
She nodded. “I understand you. Of course I will be there. I’ll be waiting for you clean, naked, and in bed.”
Sawat smiled and slid his hand across her thigh to her crotch. It was not polite to do that in public but he didn’t care. He had little respect for old Thai customs and taboos. He would do what he wanted, when he wanted. He didn’t care what anyone else might think. He turned and walked toward his apartment.
Math watched until Sawat was out of sight, and then sped toward home. Relief and happiness swept through her. Free, she thought, I am free. Without warning, tears formed and flooded across her face. She laughed aloud from sheer joy. Unable to control herself, Math shouted at the top of her lungs, “I am free. Thank Buddha, I am free.”
Chapter 11
By the Friday after Math had left for her appointment with the police, Mike’s waking thoughts were flooded by the cold reality that she might never return. If the sit
uation with her ex-fiancé and the police was as bad as she had said, she could be sitting in jail by now. Images of Math in a filthy Thai jail haunted him all day. The thoughts drove him crazy.
By the time he arrived home, his mood had turned from gloom to depression. He puzzled over his feelings. Math really didn’t mean anything to him, he thought, trying to convince himself it was true. He had known her for less than two weeks and, at times, he wished he had never met her at all. So why was he feeling like this?
He drank a couple of beers and smoked a joint, hoping to lighten his frame of mind. It didn’t work. He tried watching TV but couldn’t concentrate on it. At nine-thirty he walked to Soi 2, hoping his old routine would ease his mind. When he arrived at Toy’s, Lek didn’t even acknowledge his presence. The other girls at the bar smiled cordially, but none came over to talk. Lek’s doings, he was sure.
He drank one beer at Toy’s and left. He walked across the street to the Classroom. He didn’t really like the Classroom because the prices were high and the owner was an asshole. But his friends at the Toy Bar were being assholes too, so it didn’t matter. He had several beers in the Classroom, while he watched the unenthusiastic dancers gyrating out of beat with the thumping re-mix dance music. He’d had about all of the place he could take when Randy, his friend and co-worker, walked in.
“Lek told me you were here.” Randy sat next to Mike and ordered beers for both of them. “Thought you didn’t like this place.”
“I don’t like it,” Mike answered. “But tonight it seems a hell of a lot better than Toy’s. I must have really pissed-off everyone there. No one will even talk to me.”
Randy laughed. “Ah, the life of a butterfly. I wouldn’t worry too much. After all, Lek is the one who asked me come and make sure you are okay.”
“Yeah,” Mike said sarcastically, “She is probably worried about all of the money she will lose if I happen to croak or find another bar to hang out at.”
“Well, probably that, too,” Randy agreed. “But I think she is really worried about you. She said you looked very sad. I have to agree with her. Are you okay?”
“I am fine,” he answered. “Maybe I’ve had one beer to many, but other than that I am just fucking fine. I am going home and to bed after this beer.”
Together, they watched the dancers and talked about work. Randy tried to buy Mike another beer, but he declined. Finally, they paid their tabs and left the bar.
Outside, Randy said, “Sure I can’t buy you a beer at Toy’s? Lek really is your good friend. I’d like to see you two kiss and make up as they say.”
“Bad idea,” he replied. “I think I’ll just go home.”
“Mike,” Randy said, “it’s none of my business, but where is that girl you’ve been hanging around with for the last week or so? What was her name again? Math or something like that?”
“Yeah, Math. She went home.”
“When is she coming back?” Randy pursued the subject.
“I think maybe never,” he answered.
“Why not?” Randy probed.
“It’s a long story.” He knew he could never explain Math’s predicament with the police and her ex-fiancé. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
The two men stared at each other for a long time. Without words, Mike and Randy conversed in a language only men could understand. After a moment Mike turned and walked away.
“Take care of yourself,” Randy called to Mike.
“Thanks for the beer,” Mike said over his shoulder.
“Mai pen rai, never mind,” Randy replied. “Mai pen rai.”
Chapter 12
Math was still excited when she arrived at her house from the police station. She went inside, turned on the fan, and sat down in her only chair. She took a few deep breaths, trying to compose herself. Sometimes, when she was very excited or under a lot of stress, her heart didn’t work right. She could feel it happening now. The palpitations, the weakness, the nausea.
She wanted more than anything to lay on the bed and sleep, but she couldn’t; not where Sawat had violated her just hours ago. The very thought made her nausea worse. Besides, she had too much to do to even think about taking a nap. She had to get away from Phitsanulok as quickly as possible. Everything she had promised Sawat was a lie. She had no intentions of being there when he came for her tonight.
“Calm down,” she said aloud, forcing herself to relax. “Just breathe deep and be calm.” The palpitations, the weakness, and the overwhelming exhaustion persisted. Without even knowing it was happening, Math fell asleep in her chair.
The room was a bake-oven when she awoke. The fan blew only hot air. She was drenched in sweat. She looked at her watch: it was two forty-five in the afternoon. Her little brother would be home from school within the hour. As much as she wanted to see him before she left, she knew she couldn’t wait. She had to get started so she would be long gone from Phitsanulok by the time Sawat finished work.
Math pushed herself from the chair and went outside. The mid-afternoon heat felt cool compared to her room. In a minute, she felt better. She went back inside long enough to get her robe and a towel, and then went to the bath. She made plans, while she ladled herself clean.
She knew the smartest thing for her to do would be go to Chiang Mai and stay with her sister for a while. She was sure Nuang could help her find work there. On the other hand, there was still the possibility of working for her brother in Pattaya. As of yet, he hadn’t said either yes or no about her working for him full time. She had made a few sales calls for him and she had signed up two new customers. Anan hadn’t paid her for the new customers or any of her time, but she was sure he would.
Also, there was that new attraction in Pattaya which entered her mind far more often than it should. Thoughts of Mike, the farang, never seemed far from the center of her attention. She wasn’t sure why. True, she’d had a really good time while she was with him, but that was all. She had known him less than two weeks and it couldn’t be anything more than that. Love was not even part of the equation. Never again would she let a man be a deciding factor in her life. To prove the point to herself, she decided to go to Chiang Mai and forget about her brother, Pattaya, and the farang.
Math repacked her suitcase, turned everything off, and locked the house on her way out. She put a note under the seat of the motorcycle for her little brother to find. The note didn’t say much, only that she was going to Chiang Mai and that she would call later. She walked to the main road and hailed a taxi to the bus station.
As she rode, she noticed how different Phitsanulok was from Pattaya. No beer bars, fancy hotels, or expensive condos. Also, there was almost a total absence of foreigners. That was good because most of the people in Phitsanulok were anti-farang.
The bus terminal was crowded with passengers and Math had to stand in line to buy her ticket. While she waited, she watched the people milling about the terminal. To pass the time she tried to guess where they were going, even though she would never know if she was right or wrong.
After fifteen minutes of waiting, it was her turn at the ticket window. “A one way ticket to Chiang Mai, please,” she told the lady.
“All of the buses leaving for Chiang Mai today are full,” the ticket agent said. “We have seats available for tomorrow.”
So that is where everyone is going, she thought glumly, her shoulders slumping. “What about Pattaya?” she asked on impulse.
The ticket agent paused, “Pattaya, you say?” It was more of a statement than a question.
Math said nothing. Her mind and her heart raced with unexpected anticipation.
“There is a seat on the bus to Bangkok in 30 minutes,” the agent replied. “You can connect to Pattaya from there.”
“I will take it,” she said without hesitation. She was surprised at how quickly she had changed her mind.
The agent g
ave her a strange look but said nothing.
Suddenly, it dawned on Math how stupid her request must have sounded. Chiang Mai and Pattaya were far apart and in opposite directions. Certainly, she must seem like someone with no place to go; or someone running away to anywhere, as long as it was not near Phitsanulok. Or perhaps, she thought, the agent thinks I’m a bar-girl. Math blushed at her realization. No one spoke in the brief silence.
“My daughter, Tana, works in Pattaya,” the agent started then stopped in mid sentence.
Math saw that the agent, too, was blushing.
Without further comment, the agent prepared the ticket and told Math the bus would be boarding in twenty minutes.
Math paid and hurried from the ticket window. She found a seat near her boarding gate. She hoped this trip would be better than the last. At least this time she would be traveling at night and, if the bus did break down, it wouldn’t be so hot. Also, this time she would be arriving in the daylight. She felt better about the trip already.
In what seemed like a whole lot less than twenty minutes, they announced the boarding of her bus. Math checked her luggage, climbed on board, and sank into her seat. The events of the last couple of days caught up with her. She leaned the seat back and got comfortable. Within a few minutes she was asleep.
Her first dream was a short and fleeting one about the farang, Mike, and herself. They were not in Pattaya - they were not even in Thailand. In her dream she knew she was in another country and that Mike was her husband. They were walking down a sidewalk; it was clean and unbroken. Big, non-Thai houses lined the street. It was cold. “Are you happy?” Mike asked her in the dream. She woke up before she could answer, but in the brief time she was awake, there was a smile on her face.
Her second dream was even shorter than the first. It was one she had dreamt before. She dreamed of a baby with white hair and blue eyes. It was a very beautiful baby. She could not see the face clearly but, somehow, the baby reminded her of someone. Again, she awoke with a smile on her face.