by J. F. Gump
“What did the doctors say was wrong?” Kallaya asked, as they rode from the hospital toward her house.
“I don’t feel like talking about it right now,” Math answered. “I am sorry.”
Kallaya was surprised at Math’s response. Her first thought was that Math must have cancer or something equally dreadful. “Are you going to be okay?” she probed gently.
“I don’t know,” Math said. “I am a bad luck lady. How can I ever know?”
There was a short silence before Kallaya asked, “You are not going to die or something, are you?”
“If I die,” Math answered, “it will be from a broken heart. I wish you would stop asking me all of these stupid questions.”
Kallaya was irritated at the response. “Listen to me,” she raised her voice and set it firm. “You and I have been friends for a long time. We have been through a lot together. Now stop playing little children games with me and tell me what is going on. If you can’t trust me, who can you trust?”
Math turned and looked at Kallaya. She tried to answer but the knot in her throat would not let the words come out. Suddenly, Math threw her arms around Kallaya and buried her face against her shoulder. Through heavy sobs she said, “I am pregnant. I should be happy but I am not.”
“Math,” Kallaya said softly, stroking her hair, “I think it’s wonderful. Certainly nothing to be crying about.”
“You don’t understand,” she moaned, “When I fell, I hurt myself very much. The doctors said there is a 50-50 chance I will miscarry the baby. They said if I don’t miscarry, there is a 50-50 chance the baby will not be healthy when it is born. The doctors said I should let them abort the baby now, for my safety.”
“Oh Math, you poor thing,” Kallaya said with earnest sympathy. “I am so sorry. Have you told the father?”
“I cannot.”
“It’s only right that you tell him, Math,” Kallaya urged. “You do know who the father is, don’t you?”
“I know,” Math answered, miffed at Kallaya’s insinuation. “His name is Mike. He is a farang. He is at home in America, and I do not know how to connect with him.”
“Oh,” Kallaya said pausing, allowing Math’s words and tone to take full effect. “What will you do?”
“I think for now, I would like get my clothes and go to my mother’s house,” she replied, withdrawing into herself.
“What about Sawat?”
“If he comes close to me, I will kill him.”
Her words were so final that Kallaya knew they were true. She held Math very tight. “Everything will work out for the best, Math. I will take you to my house to collect your things, and then I will have the taxi take you to your mother’s home. Your brother can come back with the taxi to get your motorcycle. I will pray for you and your husband.” She gave Math the respect of assuming Math and Mike were married, even though she knew it probably wasn’t true.
“Thank you for being my friend,” Math said. “You are the best friend anyone could ever have.”
Chapter 26
When Math arrived at her mother’s house, her mother Nui was all excited. Some farang had been calling but she couldn’t understand what he said. Nui did not speak English or German or whatever language the man had been speaking. Math knew at once that it had to be Mike.
“Mama, listen,” she said anxiously, but patiently. “Did you understand any words? Did you hear the man say America or Thailand or Pattaya or anything? Think very hard mama.”
“Oh Math,” answered Nui. “I am not sure. I think I heard him say Pattaya.”
Hoping beyond hope, she used her mother’s phone to call Mike’s condo in Pattaya. She nearly fainted when he answered the phone.
“Teeluk, sweetheart,” Math shouted into the phone, “I am so happy to hear your voice. When did you get back from America? I thought maybe you would never come back. I am so excited.”
“I am happy to hear your voice too,” Mike responded. “I miss you very much.” He explained everything about his company sending him back to Pattaya. He was very happy to be back, but sad that it would not be for long. “When can you come to Pattaya, Math? I want to be with you every minute.”
Math’s excitement faded. “I have many things to tell you.” She told him about her trip to Chiang Mai and about losing all of the money he gave her. Then she told him about seeing her old friend from school. At last she said, “I have one more thing I must tell you, Mike.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I am pregnant with your baby.”
There was a short silence before Mike said, “Math, that is wonderful. I am very happy. I am honored for you to be the mother of my child.”
She almost cried, knowing that Mike was pleased. She took another deep breath and continued, “I wish it was all wonderful, teeluk.” She repeated what the doctors had told her. When she finished, Mike said nothing. Math thought she could hear him crying. “Teeluk,” her words barely a whisper, “Are you okay? I am very sorry, if I make you sad.”
“I’m okay,” he answered. “This is very hard, Math. I am very sorry too. I know that someday I will hate myself for saying this, but I think we should do what the doctors say is best and safest for you. Someday, we can have another baby. Promise you will have another baby for me someday. I would like that, Math. I would like that more than anything.”
It was her turn to cry at his words. “I promise I will, teeluk. All you have to do is tell me when you are ready, and I will give you as many babies as you want.”
“Thank you, Math. You are the sweetest, most wonderful, woman in the world. I love you very much.”
“I love you too, Mike.” she replied. “Tomorrow, I will go to the hospital and see the doctor and...” She hesitated, unable to say abort your baby. “... and I will come to you as soon as the doctors say it is safe for me to travel.”
“Please, Math, just take care of yourself. You are the most important person in the world to me right now. Don’t travel until you are sure it is safe. Tomorrow, I will deposit enough money into your account for everything,” he offered.
“Thank you, teeluk,” she said, “You are too nice to me. I will come home to you in quickly time. I must say bye for now. I love you, teeluk. Please dream of me when you can.” She hung up the phone sobbing.
“I will, Math,” Mike said into the dead receiver. “I will dream of you.”
That evening Math called her sister, Nuang, in Chiang Mai to tell her she would not be coming to visit this weekend as planned. She would be going to see Mike in Pattaya instead.
Nuang pressed Math to come to Chiang Mai first, but her mind was made up. Nuang dropped the subject.
***************
A few days later, when Mike came home from work, Jahl, the receptionist, and Jem, the manager, gave him a warmer than usual greeting. He shook his head in bewilderment as he stepped into the elevator. Women, he thought, are so weird than no one can figure them out. He went to his room.
When he opened the door, there stood Math, looking more beautiful than he remembered. He dropped his briefcase and computer bag and hurried to her. “Oh God, Math,” he said taking her in his arms, “I am so happy you are here. Are you okay?”
“Yes, teeluk,” she answered smiling broadly, “I am okay. I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, you certainly did,” he laughed. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
She did just that. They stood there for many long minutes holding and kissing and touching each other.
“Jesus, Math, you feel so good,” he whispered between kisses. “You will never know how much I love holding you.”
When the excitement of their reunion had calmed, he said, “Come and lie down and hold me so we can talk.”
Math stiffened noticeably.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” his voice was filled with instant worry.
“Nothing real
ly,” she said hesitantly. “It’s just that the doctor said I should not make love for a few more days.”
He laughed but wanted to cry. “My dear sweet Math, don’t you know by now that you don’t have to have sex with me to make love to me. Just having you hold me and talk to me is often the best lovemaking you could ever give. For now, just having you with me is more than enough.”
“Thank you, teeluk,” she said very quietly. “I am a very lucky girl to have a man like you. You are the best man in the whole world.”
He could feel himself blushing. “That may be pushing things a little. I can think of several people who would disagree with you.”
“Then they are stupid people,” she responded. “Now you shut up, so we can lie down and hold each other.”
They lay in bed and paid intense attention to one another. Their hunger for each other was apparent, but physical sex was neither a motive nor a goal. It was a very satisfying evening of lovemaking.
The following weeks passed quickly. Mike refused to work late or on weekends. He even left work early a number times. What was his boss going to do? Make him come home? That would happen soon enough anyway. For the moment, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Math. He wasn’t sure what would happen to them once he left Thailand. He wasn’t sure if he would ever return. He had an overwhelming desire to be close to Math every minute. He took her to dinner, he took her shopping, he took her to movies, and he took her dancing. He was very careful to not make her jealous and he was especially careful to not let anything she did upset him. Any casual observer would have said he was a doting lover.
The only evening he left her alone was the night Randy and the others had a farewell party for themselves. They didn’t have it at Soi 2, so Mike agreed to go. Even then he stayed for an just hour or two before going straight home to Math.
The weekend Randy and the others left Thailand was the beginning of Mike’s depression. Their leaving was his personal omen of what was to come. His depression had absolutely nothing to do with Math. It had only to do with the knowledge that he, too, would be leaving soon. He became extremely edgy and irritable. He even allowed himself to argue with Math once or twice, and those moments intensified his depression.
“Mike, are tired of being with me?” Math asked abruptly one evening.
“No,” he answered truthfully. “Why would you ask something like that?”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “Sometimes you don’t seem happy with me anymore. Have I done something to displease you?”
“Oh no,” he said. “You have been perfect. I am just upset, depressed. I know I will be leaving soon and it’s killing me. You have no idea how it makes me feel. I have finally found someone I love with all my heart and soul, and I am so very afraid that I will never see you again. I am sorry, if I have not been as loving to you as I should have been.”
She bowed her head and was silent for a moment. “Never mind, teeluk. I understand. I am feeling the same as you. I love you too, and I never want to lose you either. But you should not worry. I will wait for you to come back to me. I will wait until the day I die.” She paused for a brief second. “Teeluk, can we make love, right now? Suddenly, I want you very, very much.”
Mike didn’t answer. Instead, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. Then, with complete and total abandon, they joined with each other in heart, body, and spirit. A fiery passion seldom felt by two people burned in their souls. They succumbed to each others needs and desires with unbridled rapture and nurturing compassion. They made pure, selfless love as only God could have intended it to be between a man and a woman. The sweet satisfaction of their union left them exhausted but fulfilled.
For the next few days they went through life knowing they had experienced a togetherness unmatched by anything they had ever felt before. Math had blushed and smiled when Mike called it a religious experience and suggested they put a shrine in the room as a memorial.
It was three days before they made love again. They both were worried that anything less than that night might seem like failure. They were wrong. They never again matched the magic of that one night, but it was never a disappointment either. Their lovemaking varied only by degrees of ecstasy.
Mike stretched his six-week stay into three months by wasting as much time as possible. Eventually, the job he was there to wrap up was finished. Reluctantly, painfully, he submitted his final report. Along with the report, he sent a note saying he would not be back for a week or two. He wanted to visit other parts of Thailand while he was there and had the chance.
That night he told Math his plans. For the first time, she realized just how little time they had left to be together.
“Teeluk,” she said, “I am very sad. Now I know 100% when you will be leaving me. I am very afraid. Sometimes, I feel I will never see you again.”
“Not that monkey-man dream again, is it?” Mike tried to sound light-hearted but failed.
“That might be part of it,” she admitted. “I wish you would stay here with me and never go home.”
“Sweetheart,” he spoke softly, “If I could stay here with you, I would do it in a heartbeat. If only I had a job and could take care of you, I would never leave. But don’t worry, someday I will come back for you. That is my promise to you. If you wait for me, one day I will marry you and take you back to America. That is, if you will go with me.”
“Mike, I would go with you anywhere,” she replied and meant it. “All you have to do is ask.”
“Let’s not talk about my leaving anymore,” he said. “I think it might make me cry.”
“Me too,” she whispered. Then she perked up. “Let’s talk about where we can visit in Thailand. I have a good idea. We can go to Chiang Mai and visit North Thailand. You will like it there very much, teeluk. It is very beautiful this time of the year, and it’s not so hot. They have beautiful mountains and long neck people and hill tribes and everything.”
“Do they have Carlsberg beer there?” he interrupted her, joking.
She hit him playfully on the arm. “Yes, they have Carlsberg beer. Now shut up and let me talk. My sister, Nuang, and her husband live in Chiang Mai; they can show us around. Nuang’s husband, Surat, drives a car for tourists and farang businessmen. If he is not busy, he can drive us himself. If he is busy, we can get a discount from his company. What do you think, teeluk?”
“I think it sounds great,” he answered. “I would like to meet your sister. If she is half as beautiful as you, I might fall in love with her too.”
This time Math hit him harder. “Bad idea,” she said and pretended to pout.
Mike laughed. “I only meant fall in love with her as my future sister-in-law. Now, let’s make plans for our trip.”
Together they made a list of things they wanted to do, and things they wanted to see, while in North Thailand.
That night Mike made plane reservations for their trip to Chiang Mai, then packed his personal belongings for their trip and boxed the documents from work for shipment to America. Math called her sister to make arrangements for a hotel and car with a driver. She had to call Surat’s cell phone because her sister did not have a phone in her house.
“Sawasdee ka,” Math said politely, when Surat answered the phone. “I am Math. Is my sister there?”
“A moment, please.”
She could hear talking in the background.
“Hello, Math?” Nuang questioned.
“Hello, Nuang,” she answered back. “I am coming to visit you in Chiang Mai in two days and I am bringing a surprise.”
“Oh, Math,” Nuang was excited, “I have a surprise for you too. What is your surprise?”
“I am bringing my future husband to meet you.”
“You mean the farang, Mike?” Nuang asked, and she was surprised.
“Yes,” Math answered, “and you are going to love
him. He is very anxious to meet you. What is your surprise?”
“I think it is not as important as your surprise right now.” Some of the excitement disappeared from Nuang’s voice. “I will tell you later, after you get here.”
“Nuang, you know how much I hate secrets,” Math said, “but I guess I will wait. Mike and I want to visit many places while we are in Chiang Mai. Do you think you can get us a hotel room near the night bazaar, and can Surat or someone from his work drive for us?”
“Yes, I can find you a good hotel at a discount,” Nuang answered. “And Surat is not so busy right now, so he can drive for you. If it would be okay, may I travel with you and your friend?”
“Mike and I would like that very much,” Math said. “I want him to know you. If you are going to have a brother-in-law, you should get to know him too. Then, when you come to visit me in America, you will feel more comfortable.”
They both laughed at the thought of Nuang visiting Math in America. They were nervous and excited by the very idea. Nuang promised to take care of everything. Surat would meet them at the airport.
Chapter 27
The next day, Mike shipped his boxes to his office in America. The day after that, they left for Chiang Mai and Northern Thailand. Mike wanted to go in style so they rented a Mercedes limo to the Bangkok airport. Math had never been in a limo before and she was thrilled. Mike had never rode in a Mercedes before, either, but he didn’t admit it. He just enjoyed watching Math act like a rich lady. It was fun.
At the airport, they checked their bags and had lunch from the KFC counter. Not much later, they boarded their plane. The flight went smoothly until the moment they were landing. Then they hit turbulence and the plane started bouncing dangerously. Math told Mike she was afraid the plane was going to crash. The plane didn’t crash, but Math did. In her fear and panic, her heart went spastic. By the time they landed, she was nearly comatose in her seat.
Mike had seen her reaction before. He tried to tell the stewardesses to give her a little time and she would be okay, but they did not speak English and they could not understand his Thai. They called an ambulance. Within minutes, Math was being exited through the service entrance.