“That’s bull, and we both know it,” he scoffed. “This stupid pile of horseshit has you second-guessing Cooper.”
“That came ten years ago when he walked away, not from these articles.”
“I could have wrung his little neck back then,” my father chuckled.
“You’re laughing about the fact that his leaving left me depressed and withdrawn?” I asked in disbelief.
“No, girl,” he admonished. “I’m laughing because he is every bit the young man that I was. Always had a feeling of lacking and like I needed to prove something. I never felt good enough for your mother.”
“Only to find out you deserved better,” I reminded him. “You turned into a pretty amazing man.”
“You may be partial,” he winked, leaning over to cover my hands with one of his again. “Cooper is trying to do the same thing.”
“How can you be so sure? Just because he says so?”
“A man’s word is a strong thing,” he said, squeezing my hands before releasing them and taking a sip of his tea. “But it only means as much as the actions behind it.”
“Dad, how am I supposed to believe him when these things pop up? After everything that happened years ago?”
“You need to let go of the past and look forward. Neither of you is the same person; you’ve both grown up.”
“Has he?”
“Who turned you into such a cynic?” he asked, amazed.
“Cooper,” I laughed, the irony of it all not lost on me.
“You’re getting a second chance with him. Do you really want to give that up without knowing what could happen?”
With that wisdom, my father pushed himself up from the table. Before grabbing his cup and plate, he picked up the magazines and tossed them into the fire pit just off to the side of the deck. My eyebrows shot up at his actions, but he just kissed me on the top of the head and took his stuff into the house.
“Oh, and Ave,” he commented, sticking his head back out before I got up. “Send Jen a message and let her know that she can keep her garbage next time.”
I giggled, like a little girl, the way I always had when my dad made one of his dry, sarcastic comments. Even though he was sick, he was still my father. Doing just as he asked, I snapped a picture of the fire pit and sent it to Jen with a simple request. I knew her thoughts, and I didn’t need hers interfering with mine.
An hour later, we were both cleaned up and on the road. We weren’t due at the hospital for my father’s treatment for another hour; however, we had a stop to make. Over the last four and a half weeks, we had come up with a routine. At the beginning of the week, before dad was too worn out from his sessions, we would stop at the closest Grind job sight, so he could check it out. That, along with learning of Abby’s pregnancy, seemed to help lift his spirits.
Pulling up to the warehouse the guys were working on in the next town over, I was pleasantly surprised to see both Keegan and Rick on site. The two of them were leaning on the hood of my brother’s company truck, looking at plans while the crew was at work framing. My father jumped out of my car before I could even pull it to a complete stop. I smiled at his excitement and the look on his face. He was completely content.
I turned off my car and leaned on it as I watched the three men interact. The two moved apart so that my dad could step up between them and see what they were looking at. My brother threw me a smile as my father prattled on and pointed out items on the blue print. This was one thing I dearly missed, while living in Massachusetts. I didn’t get to see this interaction, the kind that made my heart full.
“He looks good.” Rick’s low voice next to me startled me.
“He does,” I smiled.
“He’s happy to have you here, despite the circumstances,” he told me, nudging me with his shoulder.
I nudged him back and took in my father. Even though he had been undergoing aggressive treatments that left him sick and tired a majority of the time, he looked good. He was pale, sure, but his cheeks held a slight pink tinge this morning and his smile was never-ending. The weight would come back later. It was obvious the fight was still in him.
“I hope so, Rick. I really hope so.”
“He is, darling,” he assured me. “As are a few others.”
The wink he threw me caused me to laugh. The Hall brothers were definite charmers, and I had missed them. All of them. I had grown up with them, just as I had with my own brother. I looped my arm through his and laid my head on his shoulder. He covered my hand with his, and gave it a squeeze.
“In all seriousness, Avery,” he whispered. “We’ve all missed you. Cooper or not, we’d all like to see more of you.”
The sadness in his voice had me lifting my head and looking into his blue eyes. The fitted ball cap he wore backwards kept the too-long hair out of his face, so his gaze easily locked with mine. There was no sexual innuendo this time, no joking around. Then it hit me: when I had bailed out of Maine to escape the memory of Cooper, I had also left people that loved me. I had done the same thing to them that he had done to me.
My chest suddenly felt heavy and my eyes filled. I looked over to where my brother was still reviewing plans with our father. He sensed my gaze and this time, his smile was different. It was warm, soft, and full of love. I knew I had missed him, but Rick had just solidified everything I had been questioning. Cooper wasn’t the deciding factor.
“Maybe it’s time I moved back home,” I told Rick, squeezing his arm and settling my head against his shoulder once again.
Every possible scenario of what could happen played through my mind. I knew she would be angry; hell, I was pissed with myself for not telling her sooner. We had known for a while when we were flying out, I had just been too damn chicken to tell her. Would she stop talking to me again? Would she end whatever it was we had started?
I had less than a week to figure it out. I had six days to tell her we were leaving for two months to finish our album…six days to convince her I was coming back. I wasn’t ready to give up on Avery yet. I would do everything in my power to show her what we had was special and that I would be there for her. I was going to have my music and her as well.
Sighing, I adjusted the Patriots hat I wore to keep the sun out of my eyes and gave the lawnmower a little more throttle. I had bought an old John Deere riding tractor from my father so I had something to mow with, and helped to fund the upgrade he had been dreaming about. I didn’t mind that the tractor had been new when we were teenagers. My father had taken good care of it and it still purred like a kitten when it started.
Between Nashville and touring, I had forgotten how relaxing the little things could be. The demo and reconstruction on the house, acoustic sets out by the campfire, and mowing the lawn. To many, they would feel like work, but after being cooped up on a tour bus or stuck in a studio for hours on end, they felt like a breath of fresh air. They calmed the last of my frayed nerves.
Well, they did until I saw a Grind truck pull down the long drive with Keegan at the wheel. I tried to gauge his mood as he drove toward me. I was able to let out the breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding when I noticed that his window was rolled down and he was grinning. Dale was fine, otherwise he would have had a much different look about him. I smiled back and stopped the mower where I was. Just as I turned it off, he pulled up next to me.
“Man, the house looks fucking amazing!” he exclaimed, climbing out and gesturing to the building.
“Thanks, Keeg,” I replied, shifting slightly in my seat. “It’s still a work in progress, but we are moving along.”
“You have done a lot already,” he noted, leaning on the hood of his truck. “I can’t wait to see it when you’re finished.”
“I’ll have a housewarming party when it’s complete,” I told him, getting up and stretching my legs.
While his stance said he was easygoing and here for a friendly visit, I knew by the look in his eyes that wasn’t the case. Keegan had taken my brothers and I unde
r his wing when we were kids. He never changed his attitude when Avery and I had become a couple, yet there had been an unspoken agreement between us. I was damn lucky he hadn’t laid me out flat when I had first returned home, and I knew that.
“I know you can appreciate what I’m doing with my house, man,” I said, widening my stance a bit and crossing my arms over my chest, “but I also know that’s not why you are really here.”
“Not one to beat around the bush, are you?” he asked, coughing around a chuckle.
“We’ve known each other too long for that, Cyr,” I reminded him.
“True. Long enough for you to know that I love my baby sister,” he stated.
There it was. The real reason he had pulled in, in the middle of a weekend afternoon at a time I knew Avery was off shopping with his wife while my father was hanging out with Dale. He had been smart enough to come have a man-to-man chat with me when he knew that he wouldn’t get caught.
“I’m fully aware.” I nodded.
“You broke her heart the last time, Hall,” he recapped, an edge creeping in to his voice. “You walked away without looking back, and I watched my sister turn in to someone I didn’t even know.”
“I know.”
“Do you? Do you know that I held her while she cried herself to sleep more nights than I could count? Do you know that I hid everything I could from my father, so he didn’t run to Nashville to kill you? Do you know that I wanted to turn your brother away when he came looking for a job, just because of what you had done?”
The cracking of his voice and the clenching of his hands had me turning my head. I couldn’t look at him. This was one of the strongest men that I knew, behind his father, and I had caused him anguish. My heart broke, not only for what I had done to Avery, but for what I had done to him. Never mind the fact that I had almost cost my youngest brother his dream job without even realizing it.
Anger was no longer the first emotion to take over when I thought about the decisions I had made. Now, pain filled me. When Keegan gripped my forearm, I turned slowly. If he hit me, I wouldn’t hit him back. I deserved it. Hell, he should have done it a long time ago.
“Cooper, look at me,” he requested, his voice a little clearer. “Promise me you won’t do it again. I can’t handle holding her together and dealing with my dad’s illness.”
“I’ll tell you the same thing I have told her,” I said, reaching out to grasp his shoulder with my free hand. “Maine is my home base again and as long as she is here, I’ll be here.”
The relief in his face was immediate. Emotions were flowing high and I almost fucking lost it when he pulled me into a crushing bear hug. He not only loved his family above all else, he was worn out. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through, juggling it all. Between his father, the business, and a new baby on the way, he had to be overwhelmed.
“Sorry, man,” he apologized, pulling back and hastily wiping his face.
“Don’t be, Keeg.” I shook my head. “I’m here for you and your family, regardless of what happens with me and Ave.”
“Just know that if you do take off, I will hunt you down,” he said, a ghost of a smile on his face, the edge back in his voice.
“Duly noted,” I told him, shaking his hand before he turned to get back in his truck.
“Ya know, Coop. Knowing your history, I never would have picked you for my sister, but at the same time, I don’t think I could have picked anyone better.”
Despite the craziness of the statement, I knew exactly what he meant. I nodded, pulling on my brim slightly as he waved, turned around in the driveway, and headed out. Not wanting any of the guys to come out and ask what was going on, I jumped back on the mower and got to work.
Once the lawn was finished, I moved on to weed whacking, my mind still racing from my encounter with Keegan, my chest was still tight. I had known we would eventually need to talk, I just hadn’t realized the weight he carried around. The selfishness of my eighteen-year-old self was kicking my adult self in the ass.
I was just finishing around the back of the house near our fire pit when I heard a motorcycle pull into the driveway. Only one person I knew drove one and he had yet to step foot on my property since I had been home. Sure enough, when I came around the corner, Willie was coming to a stop and turning off his Harley. Taking my time, I put the trimmer in the storage shed and followed him with my eyes as he climbed off and removed his helmet.
Growing up, Rick and I had always been closer. I wasn’t sure if it was the middle child thing or what, but Will had always kept to himself. Our relationship only became more strained when Avery and I became involved. Everyone had joked that it was because he was jealous and had a crush on her. I had laughed about it then, yet with the way he had acted since I’d been home, I had a feeling they hadn’t been far off from the truth.
“’Bout time you came to visit,” I joked lightly, moving to sit on the porch steps.
“I see your twang is finally gone,” he shot back, a lift to one corner of his mouth.
I shook my head with a chuckle, feeling some of the earlier stress ease. Taking digs at each other was the norm for us, and the familiarity felt good. While he came over to lean against the post across from me, I stretched and continued to watch him.
The light-hearted joking was a front, I soon noticed. He immediately crossed his arms when he got comfortable and the smile he gave me held no warmth. I quickly went through the last couple of days to see if I could remember doing anything to piss him off. Nothing came to mind.
“So, what brings you to my humble abode?” I asked, mimicking his stance from where I sat.
“I thought it was about time we had a talk,” he informed me, muscles tightening under his ribbed tank top.
“You didn’t come for the grand tour?” I teased, hoping to keep things lighter than my conversation with Keegan. A single deep one in a day was more than enough for me.
“Not today,” he replied, never batting an eyelash.
“Fine,” I said. “What is this about?”
“Avery.”
I hadn’t had to ask to know that was coming. His eyes bore down on me, begging to give him a reason to hit me. I saw his fists flex slightly when I bent my leg. He was out of luck today. All the fight had finally left me.
“What about her?”
“That’s exactly it!” he fumed. “You treat this thing with her like a big joke.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I questioned. Either he was jumping ahead of himself, or I had totally missed something.
“You sleep with everyone under the sun and have absolutely no regard to anyone’s feelings,” he forged on. “Women are just notches in your freaking bed post.”
“That’s not true–”
“I’m not done,” he cut me off, his face turning reddening as he went on. “Just because you’re some big-time country star doesn’t give you the right to come back into town, hook up with an old flame, and tarnish her reputation. We could all figure out that you had the biggest set of balls in the Hall family, without you having to be an asshole about it.”
I shook my head when his rant finally ended. It was more than about Avery; I knew that and so did he. Looking up at him, I was seriously worried he was going to have a heart attack. All of his muscles were straining, and his breathing was quick. My guess was that the magazines had tipped the iceberg with him. Everything had been building up for some time, and they just sent him over the edge. Not really wanting to come to blows with my brother, yet willing to defend myself against untrue allegations, I treaded lightly.
“I’m not going to argue with you that I was a dumb fuck for leaving her the way I did, or try to justify what I’ve done on the road the last ten years,” I started.
“You could have had your pick of women in town, Coop,” Willie interjected. “Why her again? She was finally getting over you.”
And she’s finally available for me. He hadn’t finished the sentence with that phrase,
but he might as well have. It was unspoken, yet implied loud and clear. His crush had obviously been so much more than that. I wondered if she realized how easily she could have the “better” brother. One that wouldn’t have caused her all the heartache.
“Because I love her, and I think I deserve a second chance,” I told him, quietly, simply.
“You deserve it?” he snorted. “You’ve got everything else you’ve ever dreamed of. Couldn’t you have let one of us get something?”
Ding! There was the green-eyed monster, rearing its ugly head. I racked my brain quickly to remember what he had wanted to be when he grew up. I couldn’t come up with anything, though I’m sure bar owner hadn’t exactly been on his list. It still surprised me to hear the venom in his voice. If anything, I was jealous of him – the fact that he had a “normal” life, and that he was a business owner. That alone was no easy feat.
“You think sleeping in a 1985 Winnebago with six other guys, traveling city to city, and having food and who knows what else thrown at you, is glamorous? You think being so tired you can’t make it to your bed, never mind trying to call loved ones because of the time difference, fun? You think living in a 5,000-square foot home with paparazzi just outside the gates is wonderful? It gets pretty lonely and exhausting, let me tell you.”
“Yeah, you looked lonely,” he sputtered, a little anger reseeding.
“The magazines aren’t all truth, you know,” I reminded him as I stood.
“No shit,” he muttered, “but proof is in the pictures.”
I rolled my eyes before I could catch myself. Old habits die hard when you’re bickering with your sibling. His hands immediately clenched again and his back straightened. Clearly, nothing I said was going to change his mind.
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” he repeated, pointing at me. “You don’t take anything seriously.”
“I’m sick of defending myself to everyone when their minds are already made up about me,” I huffed. “You’re beyond listening at this point. It’s just going in one ear and out the other.”
In front of my eyes, Willie’s face seemed to get redder, if that was possible. Evidently my pointing out the obvious wasn’t the best move, but I’d had enough. We were getting nowhere, other than listing out the things I’d done wrong with my life.
The Return (The Comeback Series) Page 12