“We can talk every day, multiple times a day,” he said, bringing one hand up to wipe my tears. “You can come visit once your dad is feeling better.”
I froze. My dad would be finishing his treatments this week and Cooper would barely be around for that. How was I going to get through the rest of this without him? I had come to depend on his kisses, his hugs, and his hands to help me forget the bad things. Phone calls and text messages weren’t going to be enough. I needed him here.
“I can’t do this without you,” I told him, tears flowing freely again, harder than before. “You have to stay.”
You have to stay.”
Those words in that voice from one of the strongest women I knew, would forever haunt me. As I looked out the airplane window at the clouds below, I could still see her face. The tear tracks running down her cheeks, the pout to her perfect lips, and the total defeat behind it all. I knew I was coming back, yet the fear in the way she looked at me even had me questioning myself. Now I knew why I had left at eighteen without telling her. One word, and I never would have chased my dream. I also realized just how much I had hurt her, how badly I had broken her heart, along with my own.
“It’s only two months,” Evan reminded me, pulling me out of my own head.
“I know,” I sighed. “But you didn’t see her face, man.”
“I can only imagine,” he replied, shaking his head. “You’ve done right by her this time, Coop. That’s got to stand for somethin’.”
“I hope so,” I agreed. “I told her I loved her, Evan.”
“Was that ever in question?” he asked with a grin, eyebrows shooting up his forehead.
“No, I guess not,” I chuckled. “Women like to hear it, though.”
Evan always knew how to diffuse a serious conversation when it needed to be done. He would definitely help make the next couple of months bearable. The other two, I wasn’t so sure about; Chris currently sat on the other side of the plane, two rows up, earbuds in, scribbling on a notepad. Matt was beside him with his eyes closed, dozing lightly.
We had all of first class to ourselves, something I’m sure Chris and Lee had arranged due to the media frenzy as of late. Evan and I had been the first two on and had made ourselves comfortable side by side near the middle, leaving plenty of room for the other two near us so we could all talk on the ride. However, Chris and Matt had boarded after us and, with barely a nod, moved closer to the front, exchanging no words since.
I hadn’t thought things had been that tense at the house, but I guess they must have been, since the magazines had come out a week and a half before. Neither of them had gone out of their way to speak to me unless it had to do with the trip. I knew Matt wasn’t really upset with me; he just tended to side with Chris, as Evan did with me. Unfortunately, our leader was a hard one to read. He could be pissed because of the negative media attention, adding to his already heavy load of responsibilities, or he could blame me for everything, despite knowing the media outlets were constantly full of shit.
I found it hard to believe that the people I loved the most were the very ones I was having the hardest time convincing I’d changed. I realized they were the ones I had hurt the worst, yet wasn’t family supposed to be about forgiveness? Whether they were blood or not? Weren’t they supposed to pick you up when you were down and celebrate alongside you when you achieved your goal?
“Everything will be fine,” Evan assured me. “Stop overthinking.”
“I’m turning into a damn woman,” I mumbled.
“Nah,” my friend commented. “You’re just spending too much time between the legs of one.”
Knowing he was kidding, but still feeling like I needed to give him hell, I smacked him upside the head. His laugh just got louder, causing me to chuckle along with him. I couldn’t wait until he found a woman that brought him to his knees the way Avery had done with me. Payback was a bitch.
It wasn’t long before the pilot came on, announcing our descent into Nashville. Lee and our security team would be meeting us at the airport and taking us back to our house. The first couple of days would be crazy while we caught up on stuff and got ready to go back into the studio. I couldn’t wait for that. Nothing except for us and our music.
The jolt of the plane touching down brought back the reality that I was no longer in Maine. I felt weird; out of sorts. Funny how easily I had fallen back into the routine of small town life. Not having to look over my shoulder all the time, being able to go out in public without Mikey up my ass, and sleeping with the windows open to listen to the peepers. Lord, it was going to be a long two months.
Evan handed me my carry-on from the overhead compartment as we waited for Chris and Matt. Still no words were uttered, but he lifted his head in a “let’s go” gesture. We knew the four of us needed to stay close because we weren’t sure if anyone had caught wind of our return. Things could get bad real quick, if that happened. Pulling down the sleeves on my long sleeve t-shirt to hide my tattoos and tugging my hat lower on my head, I followed them off the plane. We hadn’t even made it halfway down the shoot when we heard the commotion at the gate. Exchanging looks, we all knew we’d already been had.
When the gate came into view, Lee could be seen on his phone, barking at the person on the other end. Mikey and the rest of the security team were holding back a horde of fans and paparazzi. Our manager’s hand went up in greeting when he saw us and his face broke into a huge smile. The crowd noise increased a few decibels when they noticed, and all four of us quickly plastered on our public “happy-go-lucky” faces.
“Welcome back, Cooper!” Mikey greeted easily, as he and the others shepherded us past the mob.
“Hey, man,” I replied, nodding and smiling to people along the way, and concentrating on keeping a relaxed state to my body.
“You don’t look very happy to be here,” he observed, carrying on the conversation quietly so others wouldn’t hear.
“Is it that noticeable?” I asked, waving to a young boy perched on his father’s shoulders, whose hand looked like it was going to fly off from the exuberance of his greeting.
“Only to someone that knows you the way I do,” Mikey replied.
I gave a sigh of relief and nudged Matt next to me, to point out a sign a young girl was holding that read “We love Dark Roads!” Things like that never got old. Those people were the reason that we did what we did. They were why we put out the records and played the shows. We weren’t doing it for the likes of the media. Matt smiled, gesturing toward the sign, when Chris looked up. Evan, being the goofball he was, ran ahead to the girl and requested her phone. Her eyes were big and full of awe as she handed it to him. He trotted back to us and we wrapped our arms around each other with him in the center, so he could take a selfie. After a couple clicks, he handed her back the phone. Tears filled her eyes and she thanked us more times than I could count as we moved past her.
That moment carried me through the rest of the airport and into the Tahoe that was waiting for us at the curb. I loved what I did, and I just needed to remember times like that. Dark Roads was far from done. We were just at an undeniably large bump, but one that I knew we could get past.
The ride to the house was quiet. When we pulled onto our street, though, a commotion reared its ugly head again. It seemed that, outside our fence, sat thirty or so paparazzi and other members of the media. Seriously? Couldn’t they give us a rest? The team handled it with ease, as they always did, and the next thing I knew, we were pulling up to the cabin. It was one of the things that kept Maine with us. It could have easily been picked up, moved to our home state, and looked like it belonged there. Warm and inviting from the outside, once you were in it, you could get lost in the space. It was too much. Sure, we all had plenty of room for ourselves, but it also allowed us to hide from the others. That was not always good for morale.
“Home sweet home,” Evan muttered as the vehicle was stopped and turned off.
Evidently, he was just as happy to be
here as I was. Grabbing my bag, I slid out behind Matt and walked to the house. Ignoring the rest of the group, I dropped my bag by the door as soon as I was in and made my way to the kitchen. I was starved. We had left Maine just after six this morning and now it was after lunch. Time for food.
I opened the refrigerator and found premade sandwiches waiting. I grabbed the one with my name one it, a bottle of water, and a bag of chips out of a basket on the counter. Matt and Evan followed me in and did the same. We all made ourselves comfortable at the large bar and the silence continued as we ate. Chris had yet to show, so I assumed he and Lee were behind closed doors discussing business.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I was happy for the distraction. It was a message from Avery, letting me know her father was officially done with treatment and they were stopping at Willie’s for a celebratory meal before heading home to rest. I was relieved and could only pray that now Dale would be on the road to recovery. The last week had been especially rough, and I knew both Ave and Keegan were worried about him. I dropped her a response, letting her know we were in Nashville and that I loved her more than she knew. A heart came quickly back from her.
“That Avery?” Matt asked, his mouth full of ham and bread.
“Yeah, Dale is done with his treatments,” I told him, grabbing a few more chips.
“Good to hear,” he responded.
I nodded my agreement and went back to my food. Now that we were here, I needed to attack my room and figure out what would remain and what needed to be taken back with me. I had already done a good chunk when I left back in April, but now that I knew what the end game was, I could really decide. Finishing my meal, I threw away my trash and grabbed another bottle of water.
“I’m headed up to my room to do some organizing. Let me know if you need me,” I informed them as I headed out of the kitchen.
I heard their grunts of response and smiled. Some things never changed.
The house was too quiet. I had never noticed it before. There was no music, no laughter, no chatter. At my house in Maine, there had been plenty of it. You couldn’t get away from it there. Here, you couldn’t seem to find it. I was never more sure that I had made the right choice to return home.
Each of us had a suite; we all had a sitting room, our own bathroom, and a bedroom. They were large and could have been their own mini homes. Mine was currently filled with boxes in various packed states, clothes were strewn everywhere. I sighed as I turned on the radio by my couch and got to work.
I didn’t realize how long I had been at it until I caught a whiff of barbeque, and my door was flung open. Evan stood in my doorway with two takeout boxes I knew were from my favorite place, The Bull & Boar BBQ. I dropped the box I had been moving and met him at the couch. My mouth watered when I opened the container and took in the sweet smell of the sauce that covered the ribs.
“I didn’t even realize I was hungry,” I said, eagerly picking up a piece of meat and taking a bite.
“Dude, you would eat Jon’s meat, even if you weren’t hungry,” he chuckled, digging into his own meal.
“True,” I answered, laughing.
We had become good friends with the owner, Jon Hampton, after he had noticed our regularity at his corner table. It quickly became the only place where we could eat out without being bothered, and nights when we didn’t feel like being in the public eye, he would happily deliver the food himself. It was one of the few things I would miss about being here all the time.
“Heard anything from Chris?” I asked a few moments later.
“Yep, band meeting after breakfast. Eight o’clock,” he replied with a grimace.
“Can’t even wait for the coffee to kick in, huh?”
“Has he ever?”
I shook my head. We were all early risers, even after a late-night show; but, Chris always had to have our meetings first thing in the morning though, before anyone could even process their coffee enough to function. We suspected it was because this gave him the one-up on us.
The next morning, I had them all beat. I was waiting in our home studio, my my second cup of coffee when they all came in, Lee included. I hadn’t been able to sleep without my girl, naked and curled up at my side, so I’d jumped out of bed, hit the gym equipment in the garage, showered, and eaten, before all of them. Chris gave me a surprised look when he found me on the couch with a sketch pad, in the conference room.
“About time you all showed up,” I joked as they got settled in.
Evan smirked, the sparkle in his eyes gleaming, while Matt just grumbled. Clearly, he was not in a chipper mood this morning. Chris nodded at me, a small smile playing on his lips, as he sipped from his own cup and took a seat at the end of the table nearest to me. Lee was dressed down, for him, in a button up and jeans – no power suit for us – and his graying hair brushed against the collar of his shirt. He was a trim man and reminded me a lot of the ‘80s rockers, like Rod Stewart.
“Nice of you to join us today, Cooper,” he snapped back with a grin. I was never known for being real good at making these meetings when I was on a binge.
“I figured better late than never.” I smiled.
“True,” he chuckled. “Now, let’s get down to business.”
The first half hour was spent going over the new song list, and which ones would be going on the record. The Fourth of July was only a few days away, but the studio was going to remain open, so we could work. It went fairly quickly, as we had already started talking about which songs we wanted when we were back in Maine. Once that was done, everyone got quiet. The next topic of discussion was the future of the band. Our contract was up with the label and we needed to make some decisions where we were headed.
“I’m not sure that we really need to talk about this,” Chris finally spoke up. “Cooper and Evan have already made their decisions and unless we replace them, the band doesn’t exist anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, my eyes jumping over to Evan, who just shrugged in confusion.
“You two are quitting the band and moving back to Maine,” he stated.
“Who said?” Evan asked.
“You two told me you were moving back,” Chris replied. “Cooper, you bought a house.”
“Yeah, it will be my home base, but I’m not leaving the band,” I said. “I just want to settle down a bit.”
“Me too,” Evan agreed.
“Wait, what?” Chris stammered. “You both told me you were happier in Maine.”
“Of course. Wouldn’t you be, if you had someone like Avery?” I questioned. “I didn’t ever say I was done with the band. I want to have my cake and eat it too.”
“Exactly!” Evan exclaimed. “There has to be a way we can move north, tour a little, and make records.”
Chris and Matt looked back and forth between me and Evan, totally perplexed. Lee leaned against the door, quietly laughing to himself. S0, that was the reason Chris had been such a dick lately; he had assumed Evan and I were done with the band.
“Chris, I’m not that much of an ass that I would leave you hanging without talking to you first,” I told him. “Dark Roads was a dream all of us had, not just you.”
“Things have just been so damn crazy lately…”
“Yes and no. You just kept thinking that I was going to go back to the way I was before. You worried about me the most, but had the least faith in my recovery.”
You could have heard a pin drop in that room after I said that. He hadn’t expected me to say that any more than I had, yet it was true. Chris had stressed about me, not only as his childhood friend, but also as his bandmate. He thought I would fail, like so many before me. He just hadn’t taken into consideration that I was me. I was a fighter.
“Holy fuck,” Matt muttered beside me.
Chris stood up, body rigid and looking like he was going to beat me to a pulp. I quickly stood because I was not going to take this sitting down. If he was going to strike, I at least wanted a chance. I saw Lee mo
ve toward us from where he had been standing.
“You’re right,” he whispered, moving even closer, so that we were almost nose-to-nose. “I was the one that should have believed in you the most, and I let you down.”
“You were protecting yourself and the band when I almost took our dream out,” I reminded him, putting my hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t let me down. I let myself down.”
When he grabbed me in a fierce bear hug, I heard a collective sigh from the other three men in the room. Letting out a deep breathe of my own, I hugged him back just as hard. This was one of my oldest friends and while I hadn’t wanted to fight him, I definitely assumed that was where it was headed.
“Enough of that,” he joked as he released me. “Let’s see if we can come to some type of agreement that we can pitch to the label.”
We spent the day working out all the legalities of the changes we wanted to make as a band, and on the business side of things. I couldn’t have been happier when we finally finished, and Lee shooed us into the studio for a little playing. He hadn’t heard any of the new stuff we had been working on, and was eager for us to show him, so we played, and played, and played. The next thing I knew, it was nine o’clock at night and Maggie and Lexie were bringing us supper.
That night, I slept, soundly, exhaustion from the traveling, sorting out the band stuff, and talking to Avery for a couple of hours, taking over. The next morning, I was just starting to wake when I heard a loud pounding on my door. Before I could get up, Chris opened the door and sticking his head in. I threw a pillow at him and rolled over.
“You have a visitor,” he informed me, a little edge to his tone.
“Oh?” I asked, turning to look him.
“Yeah, get your ass dressed and come downstairs.”
Well, that didn’t sound good. I pulled on my yesterdays jeans and grabbed a questionably-clean t-shirt off the floor before following him. I was just getting the shirt over my head as I made my way down the stairs when I heard a voice that had me cringing.
The Return (The Comeback Series) Page 14