by Kylie Chan
I opened my Eye and Michael watched me attentively. It was an unusual feeling; normally it was me watching somebody else. I turned the Eye on John to show Michael. I didn’t see the Turtle at all; I just saw the Dark Lord part of him, like a smaller version of the Celestial Form. Michael gasped. I internally reached out and touched him, comforting, without physically moving at all. It was like there was a second set of people there: our physical beings and our spiritual ones.
‘Can I turn it on Simone?’ I said softly.
‘No, don’t attempt that,’ John said, and his Celestial Form spoke. ‘She’s not ready for that yet. Emma,’ his voice became more forceful, ‘I am going to turn my Eye onto you. Be ready, it will feel very strange. If it hurts, tell me and I will stop immediately.’
I nodded, and the Celestial Form smiled through its thin black beard, still with John’s eyes.
‘Close your Eye, Emma, and sit very still. Warn me if it hurts.’
I closed off the extra senses and opened my physical eyes. Michael opened his eyes as well. He smiled at me. ‘Cool.’
I waited quietly. Simone’s little face was rigid with concentration as she watched her father. John’s face was serene, his golden skin glowing. He looked me right in the eyes, smiled slightly at me, and I felt it.
It was like static electricity, all the way through me. It was like touching an electric wire, but it didn’t stop. A continuous tingling spark ran through me, slightly unpleasant, but not painful.
‘Are you all right, Emma?’ John said softly, still smiling gently. ‘I’m not hurting you? Tell me if I am.’
‘It doesn’t hurt,’ I said. ‘It feels weird, but I’m okay.’ I hesitated. ‘What do I look like?’
‘Are you a snake?’ John said, voicing my unspoken question. ‘Is she a snake, Simone?’
‘No, Emma, you’re a beautiful lady,’ Simone said, her voice full of awe. ‘You’re really beautiful.’ Her voice softened. ‘You love us a lot. Me and Daddy.’
‘Stay still, Emma, let’s let Simone try by herself,’ John said, and the electricity snapped off. He let go of her hand.
I remained still, to let Simone see me. She closed her eyes and her face went slack as she concentrated. Nothing happened.
‘You’re trying too hard, sweetheart,’ John said. ‘Just relax. Like you were doing the sword set. Don’t try, just do it.’
Still no tingling.
Simone frowned.
John took her hand. ‘Let me.’ He concentrated, holding her hand.
The tingling went through me, then stopped.
‘Now you,’ John said, releasing her hand.
Simone’s face went rigid with concentration.
The force of the shock knocked me over. My head hit the floor with a smack. I was held paralysed on the floor with the electricity going through me.
‘Let her up, Simone,’ John said quietly, ‘you may hurt her.’
The electricity stopped. ‘Sorry, Emma,’ Simone said. ‘I don’t know what I did.’
‘Why did that happen?’ I said as I pulled myself back up. ‘That didn’t happen when I came in before and she saw me as a snake. I didn’t feel anything.’
‘She only had it half-open when we came in, but her vision was clear,’ John said. ‘This time she had it open all the way, but her vision wasn’t as clear. When you are more experienced you will understand. Are you okay? You didn’t hit your head too hard?’
I shook my head. ‘I’m fine.’ Michael watched me with a grin of mischievous delight. ‘You will keep,’ I said. ‘We haven’t done it to you yet.’
‘She has a powerful Eye and she hasn’t any control over it yet,’ John said. ‘Once we have control over it, we can choose the level of effect we have on you. I could quite easily kill you if I turned it completely onto you.’ He smiled gently at Simone. ‘I wasn’t expecting anything quite so powerful out of you yet, love. It’ll be interesting to see what you can blow up with that little Eye of yours.’
‘Whoa, really?’ Michael said, aghast. ‘My dad could kill somebody just by looking at them?’
‘Once the Tiger was attacked on the Earthly Plane by a band of robbers in the West. This was a long time ago,’ John said, remembering, ‘about a thousand years ago. He was riding alone. He was attacked by a whole group of them, about twenty. He turned his Eye on them and killed them all in one go.’ He smiled grimly. ‘Humans are easy.’
‘He didn’t give them a chance at all?’ I said.
John shook his head.
‘You were right, Emma,’ Michael said. ‘He is a bastard.’
‘Lady Emma,’ John corrected.
‘Just Emma,’ I said. ‘He’s family.’
‘I suppose he is,’ John said. ‘And it’s his turn.’ He gestured towards Michael. ‘On me first. We don’t want to hurt the ladies.’
‘Do you want me to show you again, Michael?’ I said.
Michael nodded. I took his hand and showed him again how to do it.
‘Try to open it more, Emma,’ John said. ‘That’s a pathetic attempt if ever I saw one. You won’t be able to kill anything with that.’
I huffed at the insult, and tried to open the Eye further.
‘Try looking deeper inside me,’ John said. ‘Look for the Turtle. It is in there, believe me.’
I tried hard. I managed a little more. Not very much more, though.
‘I suppose that’s the best you can do,’ John said, sounding slightly disappointed. ‘Oh well, humans aren’t supposed to be able to do it anyway.’
‘Aren’t they?’ Michael said. ‘Then how come Lady Emma can?’
‘No idea,’ John said. ‘We’ll find out eventually. No great hurry. We have all the time in the world. Now, Michael, you try. Look for the Turtle in me.’
I closed my Eye and released Michael’s hand. I waited and watched him.
His face relaxed as he concentrated. He closed his eyes. Then his face cleared and he opened his physical eyes. ‘That is the most incredible thing I have ever seen.’
‘Don’t look at Emma,’ John said sharply. ‘With an Eye like that you could easily kill her. Don’t look at Simone either, I don’t think she could handle it. Excellent,’ he added with satisfaction. ‘Well done. Close it quickly before you hurt somebody.’
Michael’s eyes snapped back and he grinned at me. ‘He is,’ he said, pointing at John, ‘the ugliest damn reptile I have ever seen in my life.’ His face changed and he looked horrified. He bobbed his head. ‘No offence intended, my Lord, forgive my forwardness.’
‘No offence taken, Michael,’ John said. ‘I happen to agree with you.’
‘I want to see, Daddy,’ Simone said.
‘It’s a little scary, sweetheart,’ he said. ‘You may not like it. It made you really scared before, remember?’
She nodded, her face serious. ‘I want to see anyway.’
‘Go and sit next to Emma while you do it,’ John said. ‘She can hold onto you.’
Simone nodded, came to me, and sat carefully in my lap. She reached down and took one of my hands, holding it tightly. I wrapped my other arm around her middle and she put her arm on top of mine. She nodded. ‘I want to try.’
She went very still in my lap. Then her Eye opened onto her father. She held my hand even tighter. I saw him as he usually appeared; I also saw the small Celestial Form at the same time, through her.
‘Open wider,’ John said. ‘Put more into it. Come on, Simone. Michael can do it, why can’t you?’
I nearly laughed out loud at how much that stung her. She stiffened, and threw all of herself into it.
John wavered. He shimmered. He grew and went black.
Simone squeaked and shot to her feet. John snapped back to normal; I could no longer see him through her Eye.
Simone was completely rigid. Her breathing accelerated. I reached to hold her hand again, but she pulled it away. She didn’t want to hold my hand. She was concentrating.
‘Control, Simone,’ John said, watch
ing her intensely.
Simone took some quick, deep breaths.
‘Are you okay?’ I said.
She nodded, still rigid.
‘What does he look like?’ I said.
‘He’s not ugly, he’s beautiful. You’re mean, Michael.’ She stiffened even more. She gasped, then screamed very quietly, almost a squeak of despair. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Daddy?’ she wailed, then dashed out the door of the training room. ‘Leo! Leo!’ she yelled, and Leo rushed to comfort her, his deep voice rumbling.
‘What?’ I said.
‘She knows,’ John said, his voice full of anguish. His eyes were dark and burning, his face was expressionless. ‘She saw. She saw it all.’
‘Oh dear God, no,’ I whispered. ‘No.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
And there I was again, outside Simone’s room, listening to her sobbing in Leo’s arms. John and I shared a look, and I nodded. This time he needed to talk to her. He rapped on the door and went in. I gestured for Michael to leave, and I went to the kitchen. I sat at the table and put my head in my hands.
Leo came into the kitchen and sat across from me. ‘This is getting monotonous,’ he said. ‘You people have to stop torturing that poor little girl.’
Ah Yat presented Leo with coffee and me with tea without being asked, and we both nodded to her.
‘What happened?’ Leo said. ‘She wouldn’t tell me. Mr Chen just walked in, and she went to him, and they sent me out. Did he scare her again?’
Michael came in and sat with us. ‘What was all that about? She didn’t seem scared of the Turtle this time, she said it was beautiful.’
‘She saw right through him,’ I said sadly, ‘and saw that he’s leaving.’
Leo inhaled sharply. ‘No.’
I explained for Michael. ‘She didn’t know that he has a limited time with us. She thought she’d be with him forever. She knew he’d leave eventually, but she thought that she’d be able to go with him and live on the Mountain with him. She didn’t really understand the situation.’ I ran my hands through my hair. ‘Now she does.’
Michael threw himself backwards and flung one arm over the back of his chair. ‘That really sucks.’
Emma and Leo, come into the dining room. We will tell all.
Leo and I shared a look. We rose and went out without saying a word.
Michael silently watched us go.
Somebody pick up some tissues on the way.
I went across to the living room and grabbed the box on the coffee table for when Simone spilt her drinks. She hadn’t fallen down or spilt anything in a while.
Leo held the dining room door and I went in. John and Simone were already sitting at the table. Simone’s face was streaked with tears. I put the tissues on the table and sat next to her. She grabbed some tissues and wiped her eyes. She hopped off the chair and climbed into my lap facing the table. I held her close and kissed the top of her head.
Leo sat next to John, his face grim.
John leaned his arms on the table and studied his hands. ‘I’m sorry, Simone, we thought you were too young to know, so we didn’t tell you. Now that Emma and Leo are here, I’ll tell you everything.’
Simone sniffled. She didn’t reply.
‘You saw that I only have a limited time. That’s right. Even with Aunty Kwan filling me with energy, I will lose it all eventually and I’ll have to go.’
Simone shook once with a huge gasping sob, then went still.
‘I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, sweetheart, but I promised Emma I’ll come back for her. So that means that I’ll come back for you too.’
Simone’s voice was tiny. ‘You don’t know how long you’ll be gone?’
He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, darling.’
‘Why don’t you just go to the Mountain and take me with you?’
‘I can’t. Firstly, most of the Mountain is gone, and it’ll take a long time to rebuild. There’s no power there for me until I come back and put it there. It’s gone.’
She nodded and sniffled again. She understood.
‘Second, a child can only enter the Celestial Plane with protection. The protection of the child’s mother. You can’t go there because your mother is dead. You can’t go until you’re grown-up.’
‘I can go with Emma,’ Simone said firmly, grabbing my hand and clutching it. ‘She’s like my mother.’
John looked me in the eyes and smiled. My heart twisted. He turned back to Simone. ‘I wish I could take both of you.’
‘I’ll have Leo and Emma to look after me when you go. We’ll wait for you together,’ Simone said.
Leo sighed, then ran his hand over his head and dropped his hand onto the table. ‘Do you know what AIDS is, Simone?’ he said gently.
Simone nodded. ‘Emma told me about that,’ she said, her little face serious. ‘It’s a bad disease. If you catch it, you die. Every time. It takes a long time for you to die, but you always die.’
Leo smiled gratefully and I nodded.
‘I have that, Simone. Your dad is keeping me alive. When he’s gone…’ his voice thickened and his speech slurred even more, ‘I’m going to die.’
‘You’re both going?’
Leo and John both nodded.
‘That’s why you got Michael, isn’t it?’ Simone said. ‘I hate him!’
‘Don’t hate Michael, sweetheart,’ Leo said. ‘I chose him. He’s the best person to do my job when I’m gone.’
Simone’s voice was cruel. ‘I hate you, Daddy. I hate you, Leo. I hate Emma, I hate Michael, I hate everybody!’ She started to sob and I turned her around in my arms to hold her. ‘I hate the world!’ she wailed into my chest.
I let her cry for a while. She needed to let it out of her system. Leo and John sat quietly and waited for her as well.
When she had stopped sobbing she sat very still and silent, her head on my chest. ‘Are you okay, sweetheart?’ I said.
She didn’t move or speak.
Do you think I should get her professional counselling? John said silently. ‘Get Ms Kwan,’ I said.
‘I hate Ms Kwan,’ Simone said, her voice muffled by my shirt. Her little arms clutched me tighter. ‘I hate her.’
Kwan Yin appeared next to me. ‘Come with me, Simone,’ she said softly. She held out her hand to Simone.
Simone moved away slightly and clutched me even tighter. ‘Go away.’
‘I have something to show you.’ Ms Kwan’s hand didn’t move from next to me. ‘Would you like to see my Garden?’
Simone lifted her head off my chest to look at Ms Kwan. ‘No.’ She dropped her head again, looking away. ‘Go away.’
‘Would you like to see my Garden, Emma?’ Ms Kwan said kindly. ‘Would you like to come and see it?’
‘There is nothing I’d like more, Lady,’ I said. ‘Can an ordinary person like me go?’
‘The Garden is for ordinary people like you,’ Ms Kwan said, amused. ‘It’s the ordinary people who need it the most.’
‘Can I go, Simone?’ I said to the little tawny head on my chest. ‘Will you be all right with Leo and your dad?’
‘If you leave me here without you I will never talk to you again,’ Simone said thickly. ‘I won’t let you go without me.’
‘Well then, you’ll have to come, won’t you?’ I said gently. ‘Let’s go and have a look at Aunty Kwan’s Garden.’
Simone nodded into my chest without saying anything. I reached out and took Ms Kwan’s hand.
Take your time, John said as we disappeared. The last thing I saw were his blazing dark eyes.
There was no dizziness or blackout. We just went straight from the living room to the Garden.
It was tiny, only about a hundred metres to a side. There was a large pond in the middle, with carefully trimmed flowering shrubs all around it. A couple of open pavilions with benches overlooked the pond, hugging the high stone wall surrounding the Garden.
We were the only ones there: Ms Kwan, Simone and me. M
s Kwan had materialised us at a table in one of the pavilions.
Ms Kwan gestured and some tea appeared in front of us. She poured.
‘Are we on the Celestial Plane?’ I said.
‘No,’ she said. ‘You are nowhere at all.’
‘Good,’ Simone said into my chest.
‘Your father is a big, black, ugly, mean Turtle,’ Ms Kwan said gently.
Simone didn’t move or speak.
‘He really hates you,’ Ms Kwan said, her voice still gentle.
Simone still didn’t move.
‘He’ll go away and leave you all alone,’ Ms Kwan said.
Simone shifted slightly in my lap. Her little hand moved on my arm, then held it tightly again.
‘Leo will get sick, and die, and then he’ll be gone too,’ Ms Kwan said.
Simone jammed her head harder into my chest.
‘Ms Kwan…’ I said, but she smiled and waved me down. I know what I am doing.
‘And then Emma will go and leave you as well. You’ll be all alone.’
Simone started to sob quietly into my chest and I held her tight.
‘Emma will never leave me,’ Simone said through the gasps.
‘That’s right,’ I said.
Simone suddenly spun in my lap to glare at Ms Kwan. ‘My daddy doesn’t hate me, he loves me.’ ‘But he’s leaving you.’
‘He’s staying for me. To look after me. Because he loves me.’
‘But he’ll be gone in the end.’
‘I know,’ Simone gasped. ‘But he’s staying until I’m okay.’ She glared at Ms Kwan again. ‘Do you know how hard it is for him to stay? It hurts him. He’s really weak. He’s staying. He’s staying just for me.’
‘He’ll be gone for a long time.’
‘He’ll come back for us,’ Simone said fiercely. ‘He promised.’
‘Yes, he did,’ I said.