by Kylie Chan
I fell into his arms and gave him a huge hug. He squeezed me tight and pressed his face into my hair.
‘We will have to ask this lady to do the same thing for your mum when she comes around,’ my father said. ‘That was incredible.’
‘This lady is Kwan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy,’ I said. ‘She is the most wonderful person I have ever met.’ I turned to thank Ms Kwan but she had already gone.
Come back to the living room, Emma, we want to have a look at you, Ms Kwan said into my ear.
‘Let me know when my mother comes around, Gold,’ I said without releasing my father. ‘I’ll ask Ms Kwan to come back.’
‘My Lady,’ Gold said.
I pulled away from my father. ‘I have to go, Dad, they want to look inside me. None of us has ever seen that snake,’ I winced, ‘thing before, and they want to do some tests on me.’
‘Why were you a snake, Emma?’ he said.
‘I don’t know, Dad. All I know is that I’ll never hurt any of you.’ I ran my hands through my hair. ‘Xuan Wu is part snake. That may be why it’s coming out in me.’
‘Part snake?’
‘I’ll tell you all about it later. Like Ms Kwan said, he’s unlike anything else in existence.’
My mother’s face was still blank. ‘Let me know when she comes out of it,’ I said, and left.
In the living room, John was giving Leo orders. ‘A bowl of water. A table knife. A cigarette lighter. If we don’t have one in the apartment, then run down to the Seven Eleven and buy one. I’ll need a piece of wood with some leaves still on it—go down the drive and find me a small branch. Must be from a large tree. I’ll also need a rock. Not concrete, a natural rock. About the size of a fist would be good.’ He paused. ‘A ceramic bowl, a large one. And some newspaper. That’s all.’
Leo nodded. I sat down next to the Tiger. He took my hand and squeezed it affectionately. Leo glared at me, then spun and left.
‘I think we should move to the dining room. We can put the elements on the table,’ John said.
‘Good idea.’ The Tiger raised my hand and guided me up. He put his arm around my shoulders and led me into the dining room. ‘You’ll be fine,’ he said into my ear.
‘What are you going to do to me?’ I said. ‘Water? A knife?’
‘We will just test your compatibility,’ Ms Kwan said gently as we sat. ‘We will not hurt you, don’t worry. The knife is just for the metal.’
‘First the Tiger will have a look inside you,’ John said. He leaned his elbows on the table and gestured towards the Tiger without looking at him. ‘Bai Hu.’
‘No way! You didn’t tell me you wanted me to look inside her! You said we were just testing her compatibility!’
‘What’s the problem?’ John said. ‘Just have a look inside her, see if you can find the snake, have a look at it, tell us what it looks like. You may even be able to get it to talk to you.’
The Tiger glowered. ‘I am not looking inside Emma.’ He gestured. ‘Mercy, you do it.’
‘You know I cannot,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘It is not in my nature.’
‘I am too drained, even with Mercy’s assistance,’ John said.
‘Get South or East then. Not me,’ the Tiger growled.
‘What’s your problem?’ John said. Then his face cleared. He grinned with comprehension. ‘I don’t believe it.’
‘Believe it.’ The Tiger glowered under his white brows at John. ‘Blind old Turtle.’
‘You are very offensive sometimes, Bai Hu,’ Ms Kwan said softly.
‘Fuckin’ A,’ the Tiger said, and she snorted delicately at him.
‘Watch your mouth,’ John growled.
The Tiger shook his hands in front of his face, first to Ms Kwan and then to me. ‘Worth it.’ He dropped his hands onto the table with a slap. He eyed me appraisingly. ‘Don’t make me do this, I don’t want her to know. You’re going and you’ll be gone for a long time.’
‘I know already, Bai Hu,’ I said gently. ‘I’ve known for ages. You are a very big white furry fool.’
‘You have him thoroughly worked out, Emma,’ John said with amusement. ‘Only ever wanted things he couldn’t have. He has a hundred. I have one. So of course he wants mine.’ He grinned at the Tiger. ‘Nothing to hide, my friend. Have a look inside her. It will be good for you. You’ll see the way she truly feels. Should make you know exactly how big a fool you are.’
‘No big ceremony, Tiger?’ I said. ‘Rhonda said no?’
The Tiger studied me for a while without saying anything, and then obviously gave in. His shoulders sagged and he sighed. ‘Okay.’ He glared at John. ‘You owe me one.’
‘I know what to do,’ I said.
He put his hands on my shoulders. ‘Just relax.’
The Tiger’s essence was completely different from John’s. John had been smooth and dark when he walked around inside my head. The Tiger was fierce, sharp and bright. I was concerned for a moment that the sharp edges of his consciousness would hurt me, but he seemed to slide through my brain without harming me. I relaxed.
‘A good balance of yang and yin,’ the Tiger commented quietly as he walked around in my head, his soft paws padding. ‘Quite a yang female, but she has learned well.’ He shuffled around, and I blocked him out from some of my deeper thoughts despite myself. ‘Sorry, Emma, has to be done,’ the Tiger said ruefully. ‘I need to see everything. Believe me, I would prefer not to be here as well.’
I relaxed and opened up to let him in. But I still wasn’t very happy about him exploring some of my darker corners.
‘Whoa,’ he said, and stepped back. ‘Genius-level intelligence.’ He grinned inside my head. ‘Scary.’
‘You have no idea,’ John said from the other side of the table.
The Tiger plunged back into me. He came to my feelings for John and skirted around them. ‘None of my business. Very strong, very true though.’ He chuckled and stole a quick glance. ‘Okay, Ah Wu, I see what you mean.’ He froze, then stepped back. His Tiger eyes widened inside my head. ‘You are one hell of a lucky man, Ah Wu,’ he marvelled. ‘Whoa.’ He was aghast. ‘What a chick! How did you two get anything else done in the palace? No wonder you fell asleep in the pool. I must get you two back there before you go. Hot damn,’ he added with envy, ‘none of my women are that flexible. And she likes it when you let go? Unbelievable.’
‘Stop looking at that,’ I snapped. ‘That has nothing to do with you.’
‘You forget yourself, sir,’ the Lady said.
‘You are walking a very fine line, Ah Bai,’ John growled menacingly.
‘Sorry.’ He grinned wryly and winked at me. I huffed at him in response, and imagined myself putting my hands on my hips and glaring at him. Sorry, he said silently to me. He asked me a silent question with a cheeky grin and I imagined myself slapping him hard across the nose. He rubbed his nose and smiled.
He went back to the inside of my head. ‘Nothing there.’ He shuffled around. ‘Hold on, what’s this?’ He started to burrow, and I winced. He really began to dig, and it hurt.
‘Ease off, Tiger,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘You may injure her.’
‘There’s something down here,’ the Tiger said as he burrowed. ‘I think I’ve found it.’
The pain became excruciating. He tore through my brain, making every nerve alive with pain. ‘Please hurry, Tiger, you’re really starting to hurt me.’
He stuck his claws right into me and I shrieked with agony. I couldn’t see anything but I heard John moving. ‘Don’t touch me!’ I shouted. A red veil went across my vision, even though I had my eyes closed. My ears filled with roaring. My head was full of razor-sharp steel knives. Then something went click. Everything went quiet. It was perfectly dark and silent.
‘Broke through,’ the Tiger said softly. ‘Will you look at that.’
‘Stay very still, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘Don’t attempt to move, physically or mentally. Just stay very still.’
‘What is your name?’ John s
aid.
‘Emma,’ I said softly, and gasped. I heard two voices say the same thing.
‘Stay very still, Emma,’ Ms Kwan warned me again. ‘Try to keep control.’
‘You are a Serpent?’ John said.
I didn’t say anything. Then I had to. ‘I’m your Lady, Xuan Wu. I love you.’ Those two voices again. Mine and somebody else’s. I realised: the snake was talking too.
‘Why are you here?’ John said.
‘To look after Simone, of course, silly,’ I said impatiently. I didn’t have any control over what I said. It just came out.
‘Have you ever seen anything like me before, guys?’ the Emma part of me said.
‘We are all shaking our heads: no,’ John said. He knew I couldn’t see.
‘What do I look like right now, John?’ I said quietly.
None of them answered.
‘Make sure Leo doesn’t see me then,’ I hissed. Both voices hissed.
I had a sudden thought. ‘Are you a demon?’ I asked myself, and Ms Kwan gasped. ‘I said no,’ I said.
‘Whoa,’ the Tiger said, his voice full of awe. ‘She really did do that, Ah Wu, I felt it. She asked herself a question, and then answered it truthfully.’
‘Are you my Serpent?’ John said fiercely.
I stopped at that. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I have no idea what I am.’
Suddenly I was filled with such anguish that I felt I would burst. Kwan Yin moaned in sympathy. She felt it too.
‘I don’t know what I am. I’m not a demon. But,’ my heart twisted, ‘I’m lost. Can you help me find my way home?’
‘I will do my best,’ John said gently. ‘What does your home look like? Where is it?’
‘It’s green and crystal and beautiful,’ I said. ‘It’s pure and bright and joyful. It’s full of love and kindness. And I miss it so much I want to die.’
‘I wish you hadn’t done this to me,’ the Emma part of me added softly. ‘I can see it. It will haunt my dreams until I find it.’
‘I’m sorry I did this to you, Emma,’ the Tiger said. ‘I feel your pain.’
‘Simone and John are enough for me until I find it,’ I said. ‘And poor Leo, who is scared to death of me.’
‘Will you leave us if you find it?’ John said, his voice full of grief. ‘Will you leave us if you find your home?’
‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. I shook myself. ‘John, Leo’s outside the door. He has the stuff. He’s terrified. But he needs to face his fear. He needs to do this. He will have to get used to me, now that I am here. Let him in. Ms Kwan, let him in, and hold his hand. I need to talk to him.’
I still couldn’t see anything. But I heard the door open. Ms Kwan moved and Leo bellowed with terror.
‘Hold, Leo,’ I said firmly, with both voices. I felt him freeze. I saw his face with my eyes closed. I saw right through him. I saw his dread.
‘Approach,’ I said. ‘Don’t be afraid.’
He stood still for a long time. ‘Kwan Yin,’ I said. She nodded, and moved to help him. I blindly sensed them approach me. Every step was a million miles for Leo.
‘Touch me,’ I said softly. ‘Please, Leo, touch me.’
It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. It took reserves of courage that he didn’t even know he possessed. He truly was terrified of me. The poor man was more than scared of snakes; he had a phobia. He was mortally afraid of them…of us. But he reached out and touched me anyway, helped by Kwan Yin, who understood.
‘Let go, Lady,’ I said softly. Leo flinched. He was sure I would strike him down and kill him.
‘You are a stupid asshole, Leo. It’s just me.’ And I showed him. I showed him right through.
‘Holy shit,’ Leo said quietly.
‘You know, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you use any sort of bad language?’ I said with delight. ‘For a Navy guy you really don’t fit the stereotype.’
‘I try not to fit any sort of stereotype,’ he growled. His voice softened. ‘What are you, Emma?’
‘Apart from what you see, Leo, which I can’t see myself right now, ‘cause I’m completely blind,’ I said, ‘I have absolutely no idea.’
‘You can’t see?’
‘Not a thing,’ I said. ‘You’ll have to tell me what I look like later.’
‘You don’t want to know.’
‘Is it one hundred per cent snake?’ I said, and turned my head under Leo’s hand.
‘I wish. That would be a major improvement on what I’m looking at.’
‘Do you want me to take a photo, Emma?’ John said.
‘No way. I’m handling this now, don’t freak me out.’ I pulled myself together. ‘Whoa, I’m okay. I really am. I feel fine.’ I turned to Leo. ‘Are you okay, Leo, dear Leo?’
I blindly saw Leo nod. ‘Yes, my Lady.’ John sighed with relief.
‘We have things to do,’ I said briskly. ‘Parents to reassure, demons to kill, things like that. How will we get me back again?’
‘Can I take my hand off?’ Leo said.
‘Sure,’ I said, and his hand moved away.
‘I thought you’d be cold and slimy. But you’re warm and dry and rather nice to touch,’ Leo said.
‘Most reptiles are,’ John said, across from me. ‘What we will do, Emma, is the Tiger will take his claws out of your head.’
‘Ouch,’ I said. ‘That will hurt like hell. You have your claws in my head?’
‘Metaphorically speaking,’ the Tiger said. ‘I’m not actually physically touching you at all right now.’
‘Still feel the same way, Tiger?’ I said.
‘Not so sure now, my Lady,’ the Tiger said. ‘I think it would take a very special sort of guy to love what I’m looking at right now.’
‘Good thing I have one then,’ I said, and I felt John nodding. I felt his amused reaction. Then I felt a jolt of shock. ‘Wait! Tiger. Hold. Don’t do it yet.’
They all hesitated, wondering.
I turned very carefully to face John. I saw him, still blind.
On the other side of the table was a Turtle. Its head was fierce and demonic, with a frilled scaly mane around it; like a cross between a lion’s and a dragon’s, but much uglier. Its black shell stretched forever. Its enormous shining dark eyes watched me with amusement. With John’s eyes. I suddenly wanted to weep with joy, but the snake eyes wouldn’t let me. He was the most beautiful and the most horrifying and the most wonderful thing I had ever seen.
‘I can see you, John. I can see all of you. My God, but you are ugly. No wonder Simone was scared of you.’ I paused. ‘Simone should see me, John. She needs to understand as well.’
‘What we are looking at now is different from what we saw before,’ John said, and the Turtle spoke. The sight took my breath away. ‘What we have now is a halfway point between Emma and the Serpent, artificially forced on you by Bai Hu. It would not be a good idea to show this to Simone. I will talk to her later, and explain.’
‘Michael too,’ I said softly.
The Turtle nodded without speaking. I wanted to smile but I couldn’t. ‘Damn, John, but you are the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.’
‘You’re pretty goddamn cute yourself,’ John shot back. The Turtle grinned and I wanted to laugh. ‘Those black scales are incredibly attractive.’
‘Cute is not a word I would be using right here and now,’ Leo growled.
I took a deep breath. It felt very strange to be breathing through both forms. ‘Okay, Tiger,’ I said firmly, ‘do it.’
The world exploded into a haze of agony. He ripped my brain out of the top of my head, pulling my eyeballs with it. He tore the skin on my face from my skull.
And then the pain was gone.
‘Open your eyes, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said.
I opened my eyes and quickly checked myself. Perfectly normal. The Tiger sat next to me on my right. Leo stood between him and me. Ms Kwan sat across from me. John sat on the other side of her. The
y all watched me with varying degrees of incredulity.
Leo bent over me, took my hand and kissed me on the cheek. ‘I’m sorry, Emma,’ he whispered.
I squeezed his hand, then touched his cheek. ‘I love you dearly, Leo, you know I wouldn’t hurt you.’ I looked into his eyes. ‘You were really brave. You are the bravest man I know. I saw what that took.’
He smiled down at me and his eyes sparkled. ‘Thanks, Emma.’
‘You were going to do some other tests? I hope they won’t hurt as much as that.’ I grinned at the Tiger. ‘Those are some serious virtual claws you have there.’
‘Can I stay and watch?’ Leo said.
‘If Emma doesn’t mind, I don’t,’ John said.
‘Of course not.’
‘Good.’ John pulled the bowl of water towards him. ‘Watch this.’ He put his hand over the water. It quickly boiled. Steam rose from it. ‘Now.’ The water made a sharp crackling sound as it instantly turned to ice. ‘Next.’ The water immediately melted, then rose out of the bowl in a glistening lump.
‘Whoa,’ Leo said.
‘Drop it on the Tiger,’ I said. ‘Wash his dirty mind.’
John and the Tiger both laughed softly. The water went back into the bowl. John put the bowl in front of me. ‘Try.’
I concentrated. Nothing happened.
‘Put your hand in the water, see if you can warm it,’ John said.
I did. I concentrated. Again, nothing.
‘Nothing there,’ John said, and the disappointment was obvious in his voice.
‘If I were your Serpent, I would be able to do that, wouldn’t I?’ I said quietly.
His face was rigid. He nodded once, sharply.
‘You should have tested her while she was that scaly thing,’ Leo said.
‘You are quite right,’ John said, and eyed me appraisingly.
‘No way is that cat,’ I said, pointing at the Tiger, ‘sticking his claws into my head again. That damn well hurt!’
The knife lifted off the table and moved towards me. ‘Catch,’ the Tiger said, and it fell out of the air. I concentrated quickly. The knife hit the table with a clatter.
‘Try to bend it,’ the Tiger said. I concentrated. Again, nothing.