Saying them at last was both relief and freedom.
And I hoped the rest of the night would be too.
When we reached my place, I told him I needed a few minutes to get ready.
“Take your time,” he said.
“You probably want a glass of champagne though,” Brandon added, since we weren’t alone. He was with us, and he waved in the direction of Adam’s condo. “I picked up a bottle for you two lovebirds earlier today. I’ll go get it.”
When he left, Adam followed me into the bedroom, moving behind me when I reached the bureau, kissing the back of my neck. “You good with this? With him being here?”
I turned around so he could see the truth in my eyes. “Yes. I’ve wanted this so badly. I started to write it on my first list, but wasn’t sure if I could go through with it.”
“What changed your mind? I have to confess, I saw it there this morning, but I love that you asked for it this time.”
And this time, I wasn’t bothered that he’d looked at my list again. He was the list, and the list was us. It was ours. “What changed is when I started to fall for you. That’s when I wanted it even more.”
He banded his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. “You know I never want another man to touch you.”
“I know that,” I said with a naughty smile. “And I don’t want anyone’s hands on me but yours. That’s why I want the camera to capture us. I want to see how we look together. I want to be on the other side of the lens,” I said, my breath catching in my throat as I gave voice once more to my newest, most erotic wish. “I want to be seen as a woman in love and in lust. I need to know what that looks like when we’re in bed. And I want it with you and only you.”
He groaned, his eyes sliding shut as he yanked me close and kissed me.
Then he left the room, letting me undress and dress again alone.
I could have asked one of my boudoir photographer colleagues. But I hadn’t realized till this morning that I was ready to show Adam through photos how I felt for him. And I didn’t know how Adam would react.
But Adam was ready too.
He’d already asked Brandon to be behind the camera.
He trusted Brandon, and therefore I did too. Besides, we’d be using all my equipment. Brandon would have nothing to take away from the session but memories. I’d keep the photos.
I didn’t want to shoot them myself, because I didn’t want to break the mood to set up the pictures. I wanted to be captured in the act, to see how I looked in the throes of passion, to see in myself what I’d been imagining in my clients for so long.
I touched up my hair and makeup, dressed in white panties and a matching bra, and grabbed a glass of champagne from the kitchen counter. I took a drink and headed to my studio to make sure my camera was ready.
I set down the glass on a table in the corner.
Then I posed.
On the edge of the bed in my studio, my body sliding off the mattress, my back and shoulders on the covers, my head to the side, away from the door.
One arm slid down my body, settling on top of my panties. The other was in my hair.
I could hear my heartbeat in the quiet. It pounded in my ears, a drumbeat of desire and want.
A few seconds later, the door opened.
“Hi there.” It was Brandon, his boots clicking across the hardwood floors.
“Hi,” I said, but I didn’t break the pose.
“He’s not going to know what hit him, Nina. With you like that.”
I smiled at the compliment. It wasn’t sexual. It was professional, from one person who worked behind a camera to another.
And it came, too, from someone who knew Adam well.
“Thank you. And I want to see how that looks.”
“He’s so crazy for you,” Brandon added, and from the sounds, I could tell he was behind the camera, probably peering through the lens. “I hope this gives you everything you want.”
I was sure it would, especially once Adam entered the room. He drew a sharp intake of breath. He came to me, kneeled on the soft white rug at the foot of the bed, and brushed my hair from my cheek.
Click.
“Hey, sweet girl,” he said, a tender whisper.
“Hi, Adam.”
Then the scene began.
I moved up on the bed, sliding seductively along the covers. Wearing only black boxer briefs, Adam followed, stalking me on his hands and knees, like an animal hunting for his meal.
I was easy prey, and we liked it that way.
We didn’t pose like my clients did. I didn’t want staged photos. And I didn’t want only the before.
I wanted it all, and I wanted it real.
That was how Adam gave it to me. He was completely raw and real as he covered me with his body, raising my arms above my head. “Hold onto the headboard, dirty girl.”
Click.
I did as he asked, my body burning hotter as he used that name for me.
That was who I wanted to be for him right now—his, and only his, dirty girl.
Then he shifted to my side, the camera seeing my whole body as he moved down me, kissing the hollow of my throat, my shoulders, the tops of my breasts. I moaned, arching against him, as he unsnapped my bra.
Click.
I didn’t feel an ounce of shame or embarrassment over the camera capturing our intimacy. I felt only pleasure, only trust.
With my breasts bared, Adam nuzzled his face between them, kissing at first, then nibbling. Next came a nip on the sensitive flesh.
I yelped, but it was chased by an oh as he soothed the bite with a lick.
Then he raised his face, met my gaze, and stared hotly at my lips. “Bet you’d like me to come on these beauties, dirty girl.”
“Oh God, yes.”
He rose, kneeling, cupping both my breasts, squeezing them together. “Bet you’d love it if I fucked these perfect tits and came all over your throat.”
I moaned my yes, at his words and at his rough touch that I loved.
“Put that on your list. Number twelve. You’re making a new list, dirty girl, and we’re going to work our way through all of it, over and over.”
Tingles spread down my body, settling between my legs, where I ached for him. “I want that with you. I want to do it all with you. I want you to have me in every way, Adam.”
Click.
Brandon was only taking pictures. There would be no video with this. No words to return to and play again and again. No soundtrack to listen to. But when I looked at this image later, I was sure I’d remember the words perfectly. Have me in every way.
I wanted that with this man, my after-dark Adam.
His hands traveled along my sides, down to the waistband of my panties. “I’ll give you everything, my sweet, dirty girl.”
“Yes. God, yes. Have me.” I arched my hips, asking.
“That’s it. Beg me with your body,” he said roughly, moving his thumbs under the band.
I rocked my hips higher, harder, thrusting at him. “Please give me your mouth. I love your tongue, love your lips.”
His groan echoed across the room as he pulled down my panties, exposing me.
There was no click.
Not until Adam moved between my legs, burying his face in my wetness. Then I heard it. Another click, mingled with the sound of my first feral moan.
It wouldn’t be my last.
As I moved against his mouth.
As I arched against his lips.
As I parted my legs wider.
He wrapped his hands around my ass, scooping me up, lifting me impossibly closer to his wicked, wonderful tongue.
Pleasure charged through me, surging across my body, taking me in a storm of bliss.
Yes, bliss.
I was in it. I was having it. And later, I’d see it.
But right now, I was living all my fantasies, and reality was so much better as I lost control with the man I loved.
I let go of the headboard, writhing,
my hands in my hair, on my breasts, on my face.
I was caught in the throes of the most intense climax of my life, as Adam devoured me till the waves subsided.
But then, the moment grew more intense. Adam rose, shed his briefs, and kneeled next to me, stroking himself near my face, before he let go to bend close and whisper in my ear, “I love you so much, Nina.”
A second wave of pleasure crashed over me at those words. “I love you too,” I whispered.
“Now let’s show the camera how much.” He adjusted me, pulling me up and shifting me so I faced the camera on all fours. He moved behind me, spread my cheeks, angling me higher, then he pushed inside my wetness.
I cried out, my neck stretching, my hair spilling down my back.
Click.
Yes, this was what I wanted. Everything exposed. Everything seen, as the man I’d fallen in love with me took me in a whole new way.
Without reservation.
He’d never held back with the physical. But now he was fully free too—to speak uninhibitedly as he fucked me rough and with passion. Whispering filthy things to me. “Grind against my shaft, my dirty girl. Show me how much you love it when your man fucks you hard.”
My body pulsed for him. I ached for another climax.
“I love it when you fuck me,” I cried out, rocking with him as he thrust harder, deeper. “Because I love you.”
He grabbed my hair, yanked hard, and covered my back with his chest as we moved together, him now doing most of the work. He brought his lips to my ear, his words low and just for me. “I know you do, baby. I feel it all with you. I have every single time.”
And I lost it again.
I lost myself in him, peaking and soaring into another climax, one that stole through my body at record speed.
But as he followed me there, groaning, cursing, and chanting my name, I knew neither one of us were lost.
We were both found.
And we’d been seen.
26
Brandon
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t aroused.
I’m only human.
And I’m a red-blooded man who likes sex.
No, who loves it.
Plus, there was that nagging issue of my dry spell.
Three years long.
So yeah, I was turned on AF behind the camera.
Which was admittedly a little weird.
My best friend was starring in a homemade porn.
But I knew better. This wasn’t porn. It wasn’t for someone else’s titillation. And it wasn’t staged.
Nina didn’t moan like an actress begging to be banged by the biggest dick in the room.
She clearly only wanted Adam. She never cheated to the camera, never tried to show a better side, or a dirtier side.
He was the same, his focus only ever on her.
And I’d seen my fair share of porn. Online videos had nothing on these two. The camera revealed the depth of their feelings for each other as I caught shot after shot of their passion. The look on her face, the intensity in his.
That said everything. And it said all the things porn never did.
It was the truth.
They came together like it was their only truth—the way they felt for each other.
And when they finished, and they curled up, softer, gentler, tangled in each other, I snapped that too. They’d want that—the before, the during, and the after.
Because it was the after that spoke the loudest. That said who they were to each other.
They were so madly in love that something else in me cracked.
Maybe it was the last layer of pain. The last layer of self-protection.
I hadn’t come to Vegas looking for absolution from grief.
But somehow, absolutely unexpectedly, I’d found it on a plane, and it had been finished in a bedroom as I witnessed someone else’s love. As I saw everything I’d denied myself since Jenna died.
And as I learned something new about myself.
I didn’t want to be lost after her.
I wanted to move on. I wanted to live again. Someday soon.
27
Adam
A week later
That was a helluva day.
One of my new shows had started production, and I’d had a fantastic meeting with a pair of business partners.
I was giving today an A-plus already. I didn’t even need to wait for the night to update my grade book. Nights with Nina were always an A-plus.
Even though I wouldn’t be able to get my woman alone till much later.
My parents were arriving at the airport any minute, flying in from North Carolina where they’d been enjoying their retirement.
I met them at baggage claim, smiling broadly when I spotted the two of them on the escalator, hand in hand.
My mom laughed at something my dad said, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. Seeing them like that, more than thirty years after they’d said I do, warmed my heart.
I was a lucky guy. I loved my family, enjoyed the company of my parents, and had great friends.
And I wanted that too—right in front of me.
Someday soon, I wanted that with Nina.
For now, I walked over to the escalator and brought them both in for hugs once they stepped off.
“Good to see you, Mom, Dad.”
“Good to see you too, son,” my dad said.
“And you look quite happy,” my mother added, scanning my face. The woman missed nothing. “Any particular reason for that?”
“There’s a very particular reason for that,” I said as I walked to the carousel. “And you’re going to meet that reason tonight.”
* * *
My parents loved Nina. No surprise there. She was engaging, smart, and loved to ask questions.
So did my mother, and the two of them gabbed all night long over our sushi dinner, talking about modern art, new shows to see in Vegas, and quirky scientific discoveries. That was my Nina.
As the brunette beauty reached for a piece of rainbow roll, she said to my mom, “You should definitely check out this new podcast I’ve been listening to.”
I froze.
She wasn’t going to mention Ask Aphrodite to my mom, was she? Nina had told me about it, but even though Mom was cool, she didn’t need to tune into something that had helped my girlfriend ask me to push her face into the pillows and screw her hard.
Something I did nightly, thank you very much.
“It’s all about modern art, and the hostess dives into whether any of it has meaning at all,” Nina said.
I relaxed, laughing quietly to myself.
Of course she wasn’t going to say anything.
Some things were private.
What we did after dark and why would always be one of them.
* * *
Later that night, with my parents sleeping soundly in my newly painted condo, I joined Nina in her bed.
That was where I’d spent every night for the last week.
And tonight we had a new item to tackle on our list.
Number twelve.
Seemed fitting to add it officially, since we’d talked about it in the heat of the moment.
Tonight I gave her that, something she wanted, and something I wanted too.
After, when we cuddled, I found myself counting the days till I could ask this wonderful woman to be my wife.
Was tomorrow too soon?
* * *
The answer was yes. It was definitely too soon.
But a month later, I’d arrived at a different answer.
Nina had asked me to join her on a passion project, as she called it. When she wasn’t shooting empowering images of women feeling beautiful, she was drawn to the natural world. To landscapes, deserts, and forests. We didn’t have forests in Vegas, but outside the city, we had a beautiful desertscape in Red Rock, with its canyons and rock formations.
Today, we hiked through it as Nina took photos. “S
ome new ones for our wall,” she said, because I’d moved in with her and put my newly painted place up for sale.
“You don’t want to hang those photos of you in your white panties on the wall?” I teased as I followed behind her on the path.
She lowered her camera and swiveled around. “Those are only for us.”
“I know, baby. And I love looking at them with you.”
That was an item on our list we checked off over and over, because we both loved those pictures. They were so goddamn arousing, the visual record of our love, our intimacy.
They were decadent, dirty, and endlessly erotic.
And I was so damn glad she’d asked for number eleven, because her boldness in asking for what she wanted bolstered me today.
I planned to ask for what I wanted most.
After we hiked to a picnic spot, she set down her camera and I spread out a blanket. “Sandwiches for my sandwich monster,” I said, and her eyes lit up. Nina loved to be fed.
“Are they going to make me sing a rock anthem?”
“I do believe they will make you croon. But first I need to ask you something.”
“Ask me anything, Adam,” she said, so open, so trusting.
God, I loved this woman.
She made it so easy to get down on one knee, meet her gaze, and give her all my truth. “Nina Bellamy, you are the most wonderful, giving person I’ve ever met. You’ve been my friend and my lover, and you’ve shown me so much about trust and faith and love,” I said, my heart expanding to fill my whole damn chest.
Her eyes shone, tears glimmering in them.
“And the only other thing I want is for you to be mine always. Will you be my wife?”
She nodded as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Yes, Adam. Yes, I’ll be your wife. I’ve only ever been yours, and I’ll only ever be yours.”
And that was the most wonderful gift.
I slid a gorgeous solitaire on her ring finger, then kissed my bride-to-be as passionately and fiercely as I ever had.
The After Dark Collection: Books 1-3 in The Gift Series Page 23