by Tina Lee
There were things I wanted to say, a book of words in my mind that I wanted to read to him and I felt so stupid for keeping it to myself. I ran up to him and squeezed him tight, never wanting to ever let go. I felt his lips on my forehead and the water works started in my eyes. He wiped the tears away and kissed my lips.
“Don’t cry.”
That was easier said than done. I buried my face in his chest. This was where home felt like, to be wrapped up in his arms. I wanted to be nowhere else but here. Letting go was the hardest thing I ever had to do. “Okay, I guess this is it. Goodbye Dante, good luck with your war.”
“Goodbye Kitara.”
It was hard for me to take the next step but I took it. I dived in head first, that way I figured I would come out of the water head first in my world. The current pulled me deep into the darkness and then into the light which took me to my world. I came out the other side head first as expected. I was home; I could immediately tell by the cleaner, lighter air. I laughed. I did it, I actually survived.
It wasn’t enough, though. My heart wanted Dante. I loved everything about him. And although he can be a jerk, I wanted to be by his side.
I told the demon that I would leave Dante alone, and I wanted to, but I could not. Never in my life have I felt this way. I was absolutely sure what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be.
Mother. Father. Jennifer. Forgive me. I’m going to do something incredibly stupid but it is what I want. I will be back, I promise.
I dived into the pond, catching the portal before the Duo Moon ended.
Dante, my love, I am coming.
My Man is a Gangsta
Jamal wasn’t any ordinary gangster. He was the king of them all. One false move and that could land you at the bottom of the river. There were three things Jamal loved most of all; Money, me and drugs, though sometimes I wondered in what order. He sat up late that night counting his money and building his stacks. One of his favorite pleasures.
“Come to bed, baby.” I begged.
He hissed and shook his head. “Don’t you see me workin’?”
“Count it tomorrow.”
“Have you lost your goddamn mind? What you think this is? It’s a business! You feel me?”
I nodded, with obvious displeasure on my face.
“Who buys you all your fancy handbags?” He asked.
“You do.”
“Who pays for your car?”
“You do.”
“Who pays for your nails, your hair and all that shit?”
“I get it. I get it.”
“Answer the damn question.’
“You do. You pay for it all.”
“That’s right. And I pay for it all by runnin’ this business.” He licked his finger then turned a page in his account book. “Get some sleep.”
I couldn’t, not until he was ready. I sat on the bed and watched him work that night. He didn’t liked wrinkled money. He would throw the wrinkled hundred dollar bills on the floor. He called them “ugly,” and I would take them up as soon as they reached the ground. My mama always taught me not to waste anything.
Finally, he came to bed. He put his gun under his pillow as he did every night and said his prayers. He prayed for his homies, his mother, his business and my favorite part; me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. I loved when he did that, controlling me like I’m his possession, and I was, although it took some time for me to get used to it. He’d always call me his main bitch, and I found comfort in that. No matter how many side bitches there were, it didn’t matter, I was the main and I was the one sleeping with him at nights.
His hand slid into my panties and there he met my wet pussy. “Damn girl. You leakin’. Want daddy to beat that pussy up?”
“Mmhmn. Please daddy.” He started fingering my hungry heated pussy. I was wrapped in his warm embrace, his strong arms around me, moving his fingers inside me. I loved being in his arms. He knew how to get me weak and lusting after his bulge which poked my ass.
Jamal didn’t need to do much. He slid my thong to the side and slid his bad boy in. It was already waiting for him, and my body squirmed on his arrival.
I gripped the sheets, for no matter how many times Jamal fucked me, I still wasn’t used to his dick. It was just so big. A big black cock pushing it’s way in my white pussy. He went all the way in and my breath left my lungs. He was grinding in me, letting me feel all what he had to offer.
His grunts had me weak. I loved a man who wasn’t afraid to moan. Let me hear your roar and you muscle your way in me. His thrusts were slow, deep and sensual. A black man does more than just drill you and leave you weak, they fuck you right with orgasmic rhythm and love which empowers you. I am a woman and he made me feel as such. I was loved. My body was appreciated and respected. He gave me pleasure my body deserved and nothing less.
He kept his steady pace. Never tired or broke the rhythm. He was a man. A king. And he was fucking me like one. My body dived into an orgasmic bliss, shaking my core. I held tight to his torso as he was thrusting into me and as my juice was gushing from my sex. “Oh daddy.” Left my lips as I couldn’t manage to say anything more.
His steaming hot cum filled me up as he groaned and clenched his jaw. He made love to me until he went completely soft then he gave my pussy some rest. My body was still shaking and I could feel his cum running down my thigh.
I hope he impregnated me. There was nothing more that I would want than his seed in me. My mix child. Black and white made a beautiful combination. A strong black man for my child’s father. I dreamed of a future that night. A happy one. I loved Jamal so much.
Chapter Two
Our car shot down the high way. Jamal pressed the gas, steering with one hand and his other hand in between my thighs. I warned him every time about speeding and acting so reckless, but who am I kidding, I loved it. I loved the thrill in knowing that anything could go wrong at any moment.
Gangsta music blast in his lowrider. “Fuck the police!” Jamal shouted, bobbing his head to the music.
I smiled. Jamal was a handsome man, and he took real care of himself. Every night he would go behind the basketball court with his crew and work out in their make shift gym. Pumping weights, jogging and boxing. Then he would come home all sweaty, his six pac printing out from his wet T-shirt. After fucking in the shower, I would lay on his chest, and he would tell me all that was on his mind.
I took his hand from my thighs and kissed his rich chocolate skin. I loved him, and he loved me. Every great black man needed a queen, and that was me. I stared at him while he was focused on the road, and thought about how lucky I was.
“Those fools wanna fuck with me? Then I’ll show them whats up.” He hit the steering wheel. “No more fucking games.”
“What is it baby?” I asked.
“Those Mexicans punks started selling coke on my turf.” His jaws clenched. “You see how they disrespect me? Nah, I can’t allow that. They’re gonna learn the hard way.”
“What you plan on doing?”
He lifted his shirt and revealed his shiny chrome Smith and Wesson handgun. He didn’t say anything more. His gun would do the talking. He sped all the way to the house where the Mexicans all hanged, got out the car and slammed the door.
“Jamal wait!”
He turned and looked at me.
“Be careful.” I said.
He grabbed my head and kissed me deeply. “It’s okay babygirl. Keep your head low and leave the car running.”
“Okay baby.”
He walked towards the house and knocked on the door. I could hear noise inside. I would guess all the mexicnas were sitting around the TV watching something. Jamal waited, and as soon as he heard footsteps walking towards the door he pulled his gun. He pointed it as the knob of the door spun. Suddenly, the door flung open and Jamal opened fire. I jumped when I heard the first shot. He then ran inside and fired some more before sprinting out and jumping into the car.
“What just happened?�
�� I asked.
“What you think just happened?” He pressed his foot on the gas and sped off. He laughed as he retold the look of horror on their faces. In a way I could never imagine, I loved him even more that night. He wasn’t the type of guy to be all talk and does nothing. He was a man of action. He got things done. He was confident, smart and composed. I’ve never seen fear on that man’s face. I doubt he knew of such a thing.
On the highway we cruised, and I imagined us as bonnie and clyde, fleeing from the police on a thrilling escape. The car was silent, and now, I preferred it that way. I rolled down the window, letting in the cool night breeze, then retracted the car seat and closed my eyes.
I felt his hand in between my thighs, though this time, I let him roam. I kept my eyes closed as he went further up my skirt, tickling my body with his gentle touches. I wasn’t wearing any panties because daddy didn’t like panties, and I aim to please him.
He rubbed my clit slowly and teasingly, then he applied more pressure and increased speed. I let out a deep moan. “I love you daddy.”
I pulled my breast out my blouse, letting the cold air touch them and immediately my nipples were hard. Jamal fingers slid down my slit then slid two fingers in me. “Ohhhh Daddy. Mmmmm.” I licked my lips. “That’s it.”
He finger fucked me harder while never breaking his concentration on the road, and I held his hand firm and grind on it. I treated his fingers like a dick and I fucked it really good. “Oh fuck. I’m coming.”
Jamal recklessly leaned and sucked on my nipple, taking his eyes off the road as we sped. “You’re gonna get us killed—oh fuck. I’m cumming daddy. I’m coming!”
“Good girl. Cum for daddy.”
We stopped at a red light and my orgasm came crashing. I screamed with intense pleasure as I squirted all over his fingers and car seat “Oh my fucking God. Yes!” I rubbed my clit and pinched my nipples. Jamal took his fingers from my pussy and made me taste my juice. I licked it all off. “Mmmm. Delicious.” I licked my lips.
I looked through my window and saw two old couple looking at me, with my breast in open, and with their mouths wide open. The old woman slapped her man, but he couldn’t take his eyes off my tits. I squeezed them licked both my nipples.
Jamal laughed. “You gon’ give that man a heart attack.”
The angry woman slapped her man again. The green light saved him, now he was forced to move off. Jamal and I both laughed about it. I loved spending time with him. Things were always so unpredictable, and that was how I wanted my life to be.
Chapter Three
“How does it feel to be with most powerful man in this city?” Shaniqua asked.
Shaniqua was my closest friend since I moved to this city. I met her one day when I was lost in the concrete jungle, walking around looking for the coffee shop. She was sweet on showing me around and showing me how this city worked. We were friends after that. She would come by the house everyday and we would chat and watch soap opera on TV.
While Jamal went out on business, which was alot, I was normally home all alone. I really appreciated her company. And other thing, I admired her weaves, they were always so flashy and colorful. “I feel blessed. He’s a real man.” I said.
“Damn right he is. He’s a big muscular chocolate goodness.” We laughed.
“Another thing, I love the respect everyone shows him.” I blushed.
“Does he—nevermind.”
“No, no. Ask me anything.” I said.
“Does he fuck you good?”
I grinned. “Yeah. He fucks me good all right.”
“Does he drill it in your ass?”
I blushed. “Oh my god.” I laughed nervously.
“Well. Does he?” She pressed.
“Yeah. He fucks my ass real good.”
Shaniqua laughed. “I envy you.”
“Don’t. If you want, I can hook you up with one of the men from his crew.”
“That’s alright.”
I heard a knock on the door.
“That must be our driver.” I said. Jamal had promised to take me shopping but some business came up, so he had one of his men drive us to the mall.
Shaniqua looked through the stores and picked anything we wanted. There was nothing I could not buy. My daddy always gave me more cash than I could spend.
“How do I look?” Shaniqua tried on a pair of earrings.
“You look fabulous.” Shaniqua always aimed to look extravagant. From her hair, make up, nails, clothes and shoes, everything was over the top.
She went off to try some clothes on while I waited. A young delivery guy enters the store, and normally I wouldn’t go for a younger guy, but damn, he was attractive. He looked like the type to play football in college, and the type to fuck every girl that came his way. I wouldn’t mind him slamming me against the wall with his strong arms and fucking me good.
That was just my imagination going wild. I would never cheat on Jamal. For one; I loved him. And second, if Jamal ever found out that I fucked someone else, he would hunt him down and kill him. I would only watch that fine young man from a distance.
Shaniqua shouted my name from the dressing room. I went in and saw her in panties and topless. Her breast were firm and she had stiff dark nipples. I envied her nice breast. I liked my breasts, but sometimes I think they’re too big. I’d love if they were smaller and perky.
“I get insecure about my breast.” She said.
“Are you crazy? Your breast are perfect.”
“They’re not.” She fanned me away.
“I’d love to have those pretty breasts.”
She shook her head. “Grab it. Tell me how it feels.”
I gently touched. “It feels good.”
She rolled her eyes. “Girl stop playin’. I mean really grab them.”
I squeezed her breast and massage them. “They feel firm.” I pinched her nipples too. “ I love your nipples too.”
She made a deep gasp.
I squeezed them some more. “Can I taste it?”
She gave me a mischievous grin. “Of course you can.”
I took her nipple in my mouth and played with it, flicking it with my tongue and biting on it. I’ve tried things with white women before but never with a black woman.
I caressed both her breasts, and watched as she moaned and bit her lips.
“I feel insecure about my ass too.” She grinned.
I definitely knew she was lying about that. She had a round ass and curvy hips that made all the guys turned their heads. She was not shy in flaunting her buns.
I grabbed them, rubbed it then gave her a hard spank which echoed in the room.
“Shh.” She told me.
I knelt before her and slid off her panties. The aroma from her cunt was intoxicating. Her sex was already wet and heated. I spread her lips and made a long lick on her sweet pussy. My first taste of a black woman.
I tongue fucked her bright pink flesh and I had her moaning so loudly from the dressing room that she had to cover her own mouth.
My tongue moved to her clit, sucking and flicking, applying pressure to her button, giving her immense amount of screaming pleasure. I slid two fingers in, then three, then four. She was a champion, and I fucked her with all four fingers.
She made a deafening moan followed by gushing waterworks as Shaniqua squirted heavily on my face and floor.
“Oh shit.” She said, taking over, rubbing and patting her clit. “Mmm.” She moaned with eyes tight shut.
I looked at her then at all the messed she had made then back at her.
She panted heavily. “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”
She quickly got dressed and we exited the dressing room, and every eyes in the store were on us. We sped out quickly and laughed hysterically when we were finally clear.
“Can’t believe I just did that.” I said.
“Giiirl, that’s nothing.”
We got in the van and our driver drove off. One thing I learned about myself t
oday was that I loved the taste of black pussy.
“The Boss told me to bring you to the club. He’s there waiting.” The driver said.
“ At the club? I thought he said he was working.”
“He is working.”
“Can my friend come?” I asked.
“I supposed so.”
He drove us to the club, more specifically, the strip club. I scoffed as I entered. Shaniqua, on the other hand, seemed really excited. The bouncer nodded at my driver and then opened the door for us. We were greeted with loud music and heavy bass. The driver led the way, walking through the crowd of men laughing and throwing money on stage. To the right of us, a naked stripper gave a woman a teasing lap dance. Her drunk friends all laughed.
In the back, where it was darker and more secluded, I saw Jamal and four men with him. I wonder what they were talking about. A stripper walked over and sat in one of the men’s lap. He fanned her away.
“Hey baby.” I shouted over the loud music. The four men got up and greeted me, a warm welcome to the table.
Jamal poured Shaniqua a glass of champagne. “Thank you.” She blushed.
Jamal then poured me a glass. “Look baby.” He pointed around the crowded club. “Business is booming.”
“You own this club now?”
He chuckled and so did his men. “No.” He gently held my chin and directed it. “Look closer.”
All around the strip club, fat men with fat wallets, other gangstas with heavy chains, young pretty girls with heavy make up and strippers working for a dollar all had something common; Coke. They sniffed and laughed and rode their euphoric clouds of dopamine.
“I own the substance.” He smiled and squeezed my cheek. “Where am I gonna put all that money?”
“The bank?” I joked, and table laughed hysterically.
“I like this one. She’s funny. She’s a keeper.” One of his men said.
“Damn straight. I’m gon put a fat ring on her and two of my seeds in her.” His finger traced my lips. “She special. She loyal.” He stared deep into my eyes, and I could tell he meant every word.