by Tina Lee
“Mandy, I don't want to sit here and speculate. I will find out in time,” said Jenna. She couldn't help but speculate, though. Why was he so secretive? Why was he still so secretive even after their amazing night together? It made her start to wonder if she was making a bad choice. She didn't think that he would physically hurt her. Well, he wouldn't hurt her too badly and not when she wasn't willing. However, if she invested too much time into this whole thing, she could wind up hurt.
“We're just looking out for you, Jen,” said Phil. “We don't want you to go through the same heartache as before.”
“I don't want that either,” said Jenna. “Don't worry about me, though. I am going into this cautiously.”
“You better be cautious. And I still don't like how he didn't even talk to us when we were there. Did he just show up later?” asked Mandy.
“Seriously, Mandy. Stop it. He just didn't want to be grilled like I am being grilled right now. I don't blame him,” said Jenna.
“Well, be careful. And he's going to have to be grilled by me soon. It's just part of dating you. He can learn to deal with that or get the hell out,” Mandy said.
Jenna didn't want to tell her friends because they would have too many opinions, but she started to think that she should demand some answers the next time that she saw James. If he expected to be with her, he would have to open up. She couldn't negotiate, and she couldn't give in to his ruggedly handsome looks or authoritative grip. The next time he came into the bar, she was going to ask him everything that she wanted to know directly and not follow him into the night again until she was satisfied with his answers. That was that.
Confrontation
The next day, James was waiting for Jenna at the bar by the time she got into work. Jenna couldn't get her suspicions out of her head. She made James's drink, and she put it down in front of him. He was about to grab it and leave the cash in its place, but Jenna stopped him.
“I don't think so,” she said.
James looked up at her with a very confused expression.
“We need to talk,” Jenna said.
“About what?” James asked.
“Who are you?”
“I'm James,” he said. He put the money down and grabbed the drink from Jenna. “Thanks.”
“Look, I'm not trying to be a bitch. We just can't keep doing this if you aren't going to tell me anything.”
“I don't know what we were doing, but that's fine. We don't have to keep doing it, then.” With that, James focused on enjoying his drink.
Jenna was livid. How dare he talk to her like that? She wanted to yell at him, but she was at work. It would be inappropriate. Besides, he wasn't doing anything but sitting quietly at the bar enjoying his drink. She would look psychotic if she just started screaming at the guy alone in the bar. She decided to play cool herself and go about her shift as if she wasn't angry at all. She also made a point to flirt with the customers more than usual. James made it very clear that they didn't have to continue whatever it was that they were doing, so she could flirt with anyone that she wanted to flirt with.
Eli must have recognized that the mystery man and Jenna were on the outs. He was quick to come up to the bar and start his usual buffoonery.
“Jenna, get me a Sex on the Beach!”
“Ha! You wish!” Jenna said. She made Eli his drink and smiled when she handed it over to him. “This one's on me.”
For days, Eli and his friends had made a point to keep away from Jenna ever since James tossed Eli out of the bar. Jenna's body language made it clear that James wouldn't be a problem anymore, though. More and more guys flocked to the bar to chat with the gorgeous bartender. She wasn't only pretty; she could be quite sweet when she wanted to be (although that wasn't too often). Jenna could feel James's eyes on her, but she continued to go about her shift ignoring him. Sure, the sex was the best sex that she'd ever had in her entire life, but she could always find good sex. James was being secretive, and she didn't need to deal with another man who was going to keep secrets from her on a regular basis. While Jenna was serving and flirting with the other customers, she could see James sitting at the bar by himself with his face in his drink. He looked so lonely. It dawned on Jenna that maybe she hadn't been quite as forward with him as she could have been, either. Maybe if she tried to talk to him without being so confrontational, they could both open up to each other. She decided to try to talk to him again.
“Can I get you another drink?” Jenna asked him. She did her best to smile and seem approachable without looking dorky. There was something about him that made her feel self-conscious, but she played it off.
“I'm gonna head out. Have fun tonight,” James said getting up.
Jenna stood paralyzed while she watched him exit the bar. Suddenly, she was not in the same playful mood that she'd been portraying all night.
“Jenna, come bend over to grab the ice over here. That way I can see your ass better!” Eli said.
“Look, Eli. I'm not in the mood for your shit. If you wanna see someone's ass I'll shove your face into your homeboy's face over there.”
“Where the fuck did that come from, Jenna?”
“It comes from you always being a fucking pig, Eli. I'm not bending over for you. Ever. Get over it. Now, what do you want?”
“For you to not be such a bitch.”
“Well, good luck with that,” Jenna muttered.
“Hey, everyone. Jenna's being a bitch again,” Eli said to his friends and everyone else at the bar. Everyone booed at Jenna, but she didn't care.
“If you don't like it than go somewhere else,” she said rudely.
“Now, what do you want to drink, Eli?”
“Jesus, just get me a beer. What's your problem? Did your boyfriend decide he wasn't going to put up with your shit?”
Jenna grabbed the beer and put it on the bar in front of Eli.
“Now, don't bother me unless you need something.”
“Wow, Eli! She is being kind of a bitch!” Eli's friend said.
“She must be ragging or something. Come on, let's go sing karaoke.”
Eli and his friends left Jenna alone for the rest of the night for the most part. It didn't make Jenna feel too much better, though. Why was James the one to walk out and act like she did something wrong? What did she do? He was the one who was hiding things from her.
Jenna was speechless when she saw James walk back into the bar at the end of the night. He simply walked in and sat at the bar. Most of the people had already left for the night, and Jenna was doing what she could to prepare to close.
“What are you doing here?” Jenna asked him.
“You seemed like you wanted to talk,” James said.
“Well, I think you were pretty clear.”
“What do you want from me, Jenna? We're not going to have a serious conversation while you're working with people all around us.”
Jenna froze. She felt foolish. It made sense that he would not want to talk in front of so many people, especially considering how quiet he was about his life. Jenna just sat down.
“So, are we going to talk now?” she asked.
“Sit down,” he said.
Submission
“So, what exactly do you want to talk about?” James asked. He and Jenna sat at the bar with drinks in their hands. The lights were dim, and there was no sound. There were no people talking or music playing. It was just the two people looking down at their drinks.
“What do you want from this?” Jenna asked.
“What is 'this'?”
“Us.”
“Jenna, I've been out with you one time. What do you expect me to say? Let's get married?”
“Well, how do I know what's going to happen? You don't tell me anything at all. You need to tell me things so that I can make decisions. You're not being fair.”
“How am I not being fair?”
“I know nothing about you. How long will you be here? Is there a chance of a relationship between us?�
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“I do what I want. I can be here for as long or as short of a time as I want.”
“And what is your plan right now?”
“I don't have one.”
“You know, you're not really helping much,” Jenna said.
“But it's the truth. I don't have a plan. I don't know how long I'm going to be here or anywhere else for that matter.”
“But how could that be? Explain it to me. You get to just choose where you work? What exactly do you do for work? Why do you move around so much?”
James sighed. Jenna waited with anticipation, expecting the worst.
“I sell—you know. OK? Traveling may seem risky, but it actually helps me go undetected. And if anything is ever found in my hotel room, I simply say that I wasn't the one that put it there. I have connections that help me find buyers and sellers all over the country. You'd be surprised how busy the underground of these small little towns can be.”
‘Drugs’, Jenna mimed, and James nodded. It made a lot more sense to Jenna. She knew just as well as anyone that the people around here loved their drugs. She didn't know whether to be surprised or relieved that this was why he was so secretive.
“You're not married, right?” Jenna asked.
James started laughing. “I just tell you that I'm a drug dealer, and your response is to ask if I'm married?”
“Well, you didn't say 'no' right now!”
“I'm not married. I never have been. I probably never will be.”
“You never want to get married?”
“I don't like the idea of being tied down.”
“Doesn't your life get lonely?”
“And how have relationships worked for you?”
Jenna didn't take that to heart at all. Of course her previous relationships hadn't gone that well if she was currently single. She was of the belief that a relationship could go right someday, though. Sometimes it takes people multiple bad relationships and half a lifetime to find the right one, but it's important to remember that you can always find the right one. She was disappointed that James didn't have that optimism. He was very clear about his feelings, but she didn't care. She was sure that she could convince him that love exists.
“Well, I'm single now,” she said. “But that doesn't mean that I've given up quite yet.”
“Yeah, well it only took me one time to learn that the relationship game isn't really for me.”
“What happened?”
“She was a cunt. That's what happened. What happened with you?
“He was a cheating cunt. Fucked some stripper from the club down the street. I left him as soon as I found out.”
“Well, I'm sorry about that.
“He pretty much avoids me now, though. Thankfully.”
“Well, at least it was over after that.”
There was a brief silence.
“Him and my ex are probably going to meet up in hell and make each other very, very unhappy,” James finally said.
“I sure hope so,” Jenna said. “Well, we should probably finish up and get the hell out of here. The owner doesn't like seeing people in here after close. He drives by sometimes to check in on his bar.”
There wasn't much left to do, but James immediately helped clean up. Jenna led him outside and locked the door. They stood face to face, but Jenna wasn't sure what to say.
“Do you want to come back over to my hotel? Even knowing that I'm a drug dealer?” James said, breaking the silence.
“I don't want to see it, and I don't want to be a part of it. Beyond that, it doesn't take anything away from how you make me feel.”
“And how do I make you feel?” James asked.
Jenna took a step closer to him and gently grasped his shirt. He stood stationary as she leaned up on her tippy toes and kissed him. James ran his fingers through her hair and smiled.
“Come on. Let's go.”
They didn't say another word about exes or jobs. They walked into the hotel room and instantly merged together in a sea of hands and bare skin until they found their way to the bed. His touch was rough, and he was crass while they were together. It was how unafraid he was that made Jenna keep coming to him all night for more. She woke up with his arm around her. When she was about to get up, he held her down on the bed and started kissing her some more. They stayed in bed until late that morning when James said that he was running late to take care of some things.
Spies
“Are you fucking crazy? You went home with him again? No- not home with him. You went to the fucking motel down the road.” Mandy screamed.
“He's not married. He told me,” Jenna said.
“What? Because he told you so you believe that?”
“Well, we talked after my shift. He came by, we had a drink, and we talked about past relationships. He even helped me close up.”
“You know Dan is gonna have a heart attack if he sees some weird fucking guy in his bar after it's closed.”
“So what? Is he going to fucking fire me? Half of his business is there to see me.”
Jenna and Mandy sat on their porch smoking a cigarette after Jenna came home from her night with James.
“Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that you're finally getting some loving again,” Mandy said. “But for Christ sake, does it have to be with this creep?”
“He's not a creep.”
“He's a fucking creep.”
“Whatever.”
“Well, your bad decisions aside, you have to hear what Phil did.”
“Ah, another tale from the delightfully tragic saga of Mandy and Phil.”
“It might be the end this time,” Mandy said. “I think he went home with Larissa from Patton's last night.”
“Ew. That bar is so skeezy. So is Larissa. Didn't she get fired from the strip club for being fucked up on stage and fighting?”
“I don't know, but she's definitely a fucking hoe.”
“And why would Phil go home with her? That doesn't even make sense. You're so much hotter. And you're not a complete mess.”
“I don't know. All I know is that when we went to breakfast this morning, he got a text message from the bitch.”
“What were you doing? Going through his phone again?”
“It wasn't like that at all! I went to his side of the booth to give him a hug, and I saw his phone going off.”
“Did you confront him?”
“No. I don't want him to think I'm suspicious yet. I want to catch him off guard.”
“What are you going to do? Go to the bar in disguise?”
“Well, I was thinking that I could have a friend come with me,” Mandy said smiling at Jenna. “An amazing friend who will take a night of her life to help me do some sleuthing.”
“You're psycho. You know that, right?”
“I wasn't psycho when I thought that Phil lost his job that once. And I'm not psycho now. I just need to catch him.”
“Your fights are pretty damn entertaining. It might be worth it to go just for that.”
“You're not funny.”
“I'm not kidding,” Jenna said. “Your face turns bright red, and it makes you look like a tomato. And he swings his hands around all wildly. At some point, you will probably call him a bitch. That's always fun, too.”
“Well, I'm glad that I can entertain you. At least my boyfriend comes around every now and then. Even if he is fucking that tramp.”
“Uncalled for, Mandy,” Jenna said. “Besides, he's not my boyfriend. We're just casual.”
“You mean you're a fuck buddy.”
“I guess. If you want to call it that.”
“Whatever. If you're okay with it, I'm okay with it.”
“He doesn't really seem like the relationship type. He said that he's never going to get married.”
Mandy gave Jenna a look of disapproval. “Don't you want to get married one day, Jenna?”
“Not necessarily with him. I mean, it would be nice if it was him. He did make it clear that he had b
een burned pretty badly once before, though. He didn't want it to happen again.”
“Oh, boo hoo. Who hasn't been in a horrible relationship before?”
“Well, that's what I'm thinking. I bet he's still hurt. I can show him that there are trust-worthy women out there, though.”
“This is so dumb, Jenna. You're just happy that you finally got some dick after almost a year of being single. Don't confuse sex and love.”
“I'm not that dumb.”
“You're not, but what about your vagina?”
“Well, let's just assume that I have things under control for now. So, when is operation Catch a Cheater?” Jenna asked.
“Well, I know that he's working all night tonight. Want to plan for tomorrow? Let's catch the bastard as soon as possible.”
“Good. I work tonight, too. I don't have to find anyone to cover my shift.”
“Should we really wear disguises?”
“What are we? Lucy and Ethel? No. We're not going to wear disguises,” Jenna said.
“But I need an excuse to wear the red wig I wore for my Halloween costume last year,” Mandy said.
“Save that for the makeup sex,” Jenna laughed.
“Speaking of sex, it must be really good with what's his face, huh?” asked Mandy.
“It's amazing. I don't even know how to describe it.”
“Is he big?”
“Yeah. He's one of the biggest that I've ever had. Considering my last boyfriend, that might not be saying much, though.”
“And does he, like, set the mood?”
“Do you consider late night rides on his bike setting the mood?”
“Yeah. I do, actually. The motorcycle vibrating in between your thighs,” Mandy said. “I love Phil's bike.”
“I know, right? It's like his version of foreplay. And Phil drives a fucking Sportster. That almost doesn't count.”
“How about the actual foreplay?”
“There isn't too much foreplay. Or, it's a different type of foreplay. He's very demanding. It's a turn on.”
“Oh my God, Jenna. You needed it really badly, didn't you?”