by Tess Oliver
There was a knock on my office door. "Come in."
Nix poked his head inside. "Damn, I want that Shelby out there. You own this place and I'm your best friend so I think you should make it happen."
I put down my pen and leaned back in my chair. "I own this place, but I don't own the Shelby. Belongs to some Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. The guys are detailing it for him."
Nix leaned his fists on the front of my desk. "So then he won't know if we take it for a little spin."
"A little spin?"
"Yeah, like Vegas. You know, a four hour spin. I can see us cruising down the strip in that shiny blue gem."
I squinted up at him. "You've got fucking Shelby shaped stars in your eyes." I might have been the guy who’d devoted his whole life to fast cars but Nix had grown up the son of a race car champion. Unfortunately, his dad had died in a race when Nix was just a kid, although there were underlying causes other than the accident. But I was fairly certain Nix had curbed his own need for speed for the sake of Nana, his grandmother, the woman who raised him after his dad's death and his mom's selfish need to lead a separate life. Hell, Dray and I spent so much time at Nana's house trying to avoid our own dysfunctional families, she’d basically raised all of us. It's doubtful any of us would have turned out as well as we had without Nana's guidance and love.
Nix walked over and picked up a magazine to leaf through. "If you're almost done with whatever you're working on, let's go get some lunch. I have a couple hours free of tattoo appointments. I needed to get out of the shop for awhile."
"Sounds good. I'm just finishing up. I've got a hankering for a steak burrito."
Nix walked to the pictures pinned to the corkboard on my wall. It was mostly pictures of cars being painstakingly restored to their original glory, but a few were pictures of all of us hanging out at the beach or at one of my car races. Nix stopped at the last one Cassie had taken of Taylor and me dressed up for her party. I'd been avoiding looking at it. Taylor looked, as usual, beautiful and as happy as a girl who'd just won the moon. And I looked like the dumbfounded fool with a ring in his pocket and no finger to place it on. That night it’d occurred to me I was no longer Taylor's center of attention. Her career had taken my place in the spotlight. I thought I'd been slowly coming to grips with the reality that her work was more important than me, but apparently those grips were more slippery than I'd anticipated.
"This is a great picture of you and Taylor." Nix turned back to me. "Are things getting any better?"
"Well, they aren't worse. But then that's because we haven't spoken in a week. Things always seem to deteriorate when I open my big mouth."
"It's not your big mouth. It's your big head."
"Thanks."
He walked back toward my desk. My chair squeaked as I looked up at him.
"Oh great, you're wearing your 'let's have a talk, son' face. Frankly, Nix, I don't want to talk about it, and I don't need the lecture."
He put up his hands. "All right. I was only going to say, maybe you just both need to be in a place that's away from work. That ski trip should be just the setting for you two to work out your differences."
I shook my head and busied myself stacking paperwork. "Not going on any fucking ski trip. The last thing I want to do is hangout with a bunch of happy couples while Taylor and I are on the outs. And I can only imagine the awkward moments with Taylor living in the same house. I stupidly laid myself bare by letting all of you know I was going to propose at the party. That night was enough humiliation for me for a long time. I'm not going to try to patch things up with Taylor in the midst of a ski vacation. Besides, I'm not even sure we'll come to terms this time. Taylor has a lot going on in her life, and I'm just a giant obstacle she doesn't need to contend with."
Nix shrugged. "As long as you don't want to talk about it." He added a sarcastic smile.
"I don't. That was all I needed to say on the subject and the 'no lecture' thing still stands." I reached in my drawer for my keys. "Let's go eat. I'm starved."
Eighteen
Taylor
The stress of perfecting the designs for Bridal World was over. Everything was in place for a smooth partnership. Or at least it seemed to be. Winter meant orders would pile up for June weddings, and Mandy and I were more than ready. With the new contract, I had enough capital to invest in better sewing machines and experiment with more expensive fabrics.
It was getting close to the holidays, and Scottie and I had signed up to volunteer at a local food bank. I looked forward to a day away from my work table. Scottie had promised not to bring up 'the obvious topic'. She knew that Clutch and I had unofficially split up, if that's what our unspoken arrangement could be called. Whatever it was, I found that I had to keep myself busy or risk drowning in heartbreak. It was as if I'd lost a piece of myself. Nothing in my life was the same without him. But something told me, he was moving on unaffected as if this whole thing had just been a tiny set back in his plans.
Scotlyn texted that she was downstairs. I grabbed my coat and headed down to the parking lot.
I climbed into her car. "It's actually cold outside," I noted unnecessarily. "I wonder how many days winter will last this year."
"I wouldn't put away your shorts and tanks yet. I heard it’s heating up next week. At least there's plenty of snow up in Tahoe. Otherwise the trip would be ruined. I'm looking so forward to some time away from work. How about you?"
The snow trip had come up in several conversations with Finley. For the most part, I'd ignored the topic. "Uh, about the Tahoe trip, I'm not going to go this year. I just think it would be better."
Scottie pulled out of the apartment parking lot. "Of course you should go. Besides, Nix told me Clutch was staying home. Although, I confess, Cassie and I thought it would be the best way for you two to make up your differences. It's just not the same without you guys. It feels like something is off with the entire universe when you two aren't together."
I gazed out the window. Scotlyn's words made my eyes burn with tears. I blinked them away quickly. "I thought we agreed not to talk about this."
"You're right. My bad." She reached over and put her hand on my arm. "But reconsider going on the trip. Finley says the house is fabulous. There is a massive hot tub on the deck overlooking the lake. And there's a sauna and gym on the bottom floor. Please think about it."
"It sounds awesome, Scottie, but I'm not sure I can muster any enthusiasm for it. Even if Clutch doesn't go, hanging out with Dray, Nix and Rett will just remind me of him. It'll be hard to have a good time when all I'm doing is thinking about how much I miss the big boob."
We came to a stop light. The guys in the next lane over smiled and waved at us. One of them rolled down his window and shouted 'I love you'.
Scotlyn laughed. "Men really are a bunch of boobs, aren't they?"
"Heck yeah. If only we could figure out a way to live without them and still be happy."
Not a moment too soon, the light turned green, and Scottie pulled away from the jeers and whistles. Scotlyn pointed to her phone in the console. "Check the directions. I think the turn is coming soon. It's behind a big empty warehouse. I think we're going to be in the packing line where we put together boxes for the families."
I picked up her phone and squinted ahead to the next street. "Turn left at the light. Hey, thanks for inviting me to do this with you."
"Thanks for coming along. And keep thinking about that snow trip. It won't be the same without you."
"I'll think about it."
Nineteen
Clutch
We'd reached the last half hour of the drive to Tahoe, the half hour where any traces of city disappeared and you suddenly found yourself surrounded by towering pines and the glories of nature. California had plenty of cool places but few provided scenery like Tahoe. Especially when it was covered in snow.
Rett leaned forward and turned up the heater, causing Nix's car to chug and lose speed on the steep turn. Scotlyn, Cassie and Fin
ley wanted to take their time driving up so they could stop at a few outlets on the way. They'd driven separately and without their fourth team member. Taylor had decided not to come.
I had changed my mind about going at least a dozen times, figuring I was just going to end up as the odd man out. I was no longer a part of a couple. But with the holidays looming and work slow in the garage, there wasn't a whole hell of a lot for me to do, especially with all my friends away for the weekend. Besides, I hadn't been on the slopes for awhile, and snowboarding sounded like a good way to pass some time.
I had no real idea how I ended up single so fast. One minute I was working up the courage to ask Taylor to marry me, and a few days later, after a series of confusing events and a lot of miscommunication, I found myself without a girlfriend. At first, with both of us so absorbed in our work, it felt like a natural break. We'd been together for a long time and some degree of separation seemed like the smart thing to do. But now I was feeling her absence all the way through my bones. Nothing was right without her. But I wasn't going to be the one to cave first this time. It was Taylor's turn. And if she decided not to bother, then I'd have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and move on. It seemed more than ever, she needed to find herself in the adult world. That seemed impossible with my gigantic shadow blocking her way.
I'd somehow pulled the short straw and ended up in the backseat with Dray, who had flooded his veins with coffee at our breakfast stop in Barstow. Nix had had to pull off the side of the road three times, so Dray could take a piss. He had finally talked himself to sleep an hour before the mountain road. After listening to him ramble on about everything from the ongoing feud between two neighbors on his street, to his mom's creepy new boyfriend and his plans to open up a second Tank's Gym, I was taking some pleasure in watching his head smack the side window every time Nix drove around a sharp curve. He never woke once. But then the guy had had his head slammed so many times, he was probably immune to the pain.
When a hairpin turn caused him to slide my direction, his head met with my shoulder. This time he woke up. He didn't lift his head from my shoulder as he peered up at me.
"Why'd you wake me?" he asked drowsily.
"I didn't. Nix turned the car and you slid against me. Are you going to get off of me or do you want me to cradle your head in my lap?"
Dray sat up quickly. "That vision just sent a shiver down my spine."
Rett looked back over the seat and laughed. "Hey, Jimmy, remember when we were kids and we went on a long trip in the car? We'd all fight about who had to sit next to Quinn."
I nodded. "I remember. Good times, if you're a fan of torture."
Dray reached for the mostly empty bag of potato chips under his feet. "Quinn is your oldest brother, right?"
Rett continued the conversation. "Yep. And if you got stuck next to him you had to make sure that none of your body parts touched him. If Dad shot through a pot hole, you had to keep your legs and arms still to keep from bumping Quinn. Otherwise he'd reach over and give you the worst fucking knuckle punch. Then if you whined about getting punched, Dad would reach into the backseat and punch you again for making so much noise." Rett rubbed his shoulder as if one of those punches was causing him phantom pain.
Dray sprayed the seat with chip crumbs as he dug his hand into the bag. "I just remember always being scared of Quinn. He had that really big chin and those mean eyes. I still remember that time we were playing baseball in the park. I was waiting for Nix to throw the ball to third. Quinn was thundering toward me with those gigantic feet. He picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and carried me with him to home base. I swallowed my wad of bubble gum and bruised my tailbone when he dropped me to the ground."
Nix looked at us in his mirror. "I remember that. You were worried that the gum was going to lodge itself in your stomach for good."
"Never did see it come out the other end, so it might just still be in there." Dray shifted his chin in thought. "I wonder if it's possible to blow a gum bubble with your ass? Huh, I should try it some time."
"Yes, good idea. Make sure to write that idea down." I shook my head and turned my attention to the wintry scene outside. Small rows of cabins popped up between some of the trees, and occasionally we were afforded a view of the Truckee River. In the summer it was an inviting place to ride inner tubes. In the winter it looked cold enough to break off toes.
Rett pointed to a sign up ahead. "Take that road. It leads up to the house."
Dray unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned forward. "Hey, Cassie said there's a massive hot tub on the deck. Maybe we should write up some schedule or something so we can take turns dipping in the hot bubbles with our respective snow bunnies."
"Yep, I'm not going to feel out of place this weekend at all." I stared out the window, trying to figure out why the hell I’d decided to go forward with the trip. It was only going to serve to remind me how much I missed Taylor.
Dray leaned back. "We could all climb in together. Then you won't feel alone. But just to warn you, I didn't bring a suit."
"Hell if I'm climbing into a vat of soup made from your balls." I reached for the chip bag. There was only salt left. I tossed it on the floor. "I'm starved. Are we heading to the slopes this afternoon? I'm going to need some food energy too."
"We could head to the lifts and get something to eat at the ski lodge. The girls should be here soon."
Rett pointed to an ornate iron gate. "There's the driveway." He pulled out his phone as Nix pulled up to the keypad. "Finley sent me a code to the gate." He hopped out and punched in the numbers.
Dray leaned his head out the window and dropped back inside. "Fucking cold out there. I can see the roof of the house. Pretty damn sweet."
Rett climbed back inside and the giant gates parted. He held up his phone. "I just got a text from Finley that they are already up at the house."
Nix's face shot toward him. "How the hell did they pass us?"
I rubbed my hands together to warm them after Rett's open door chilled the car. "Easy. You drive like a grandpa, and Cassie has a lead foot."
Dray laughed. "My girl does like to put the pedal to the metal, and Nix does drive like my hunched over old neighbor."
Nix's angry gaze flicked up to the mirror. "Fuck you both. We'll see who's slow once we get out on the slopes."
Nix drove the car up the long, narrow driveway. Snow had been neatly piled into a long, white curb running the length of the driveway. A massive chalet style house, complete with log stacked walls and a shiny forest green roof sat on the top of a forested hill. The edges of the dark blue lake could be seen between the trees. White snow dotted the shoreline and blanketed the granite rocks leading down to the water.
Dray and I leaned forward to get a better look at the place.
"Fucking hell, rock stars sure know how to live," Dray muttered.
Rett nodded. "Finley told me her dad hasn't been here in years. It just sits here vacant most of the time."
"I'll bet Nicky King has lots of real estate he's forgotten about. I mean how many places can you be at once?" I pointed ahead. "Scotlyn and Cassie just walked out onto the porch."
Nix parked the car. I looked back up toward the house. Finley had joined the other women on the porch. Then the front door opened again.
Taylor walked out.
The car fell silent, and even if the others had been talking I wouldn't have been able to hear them over the pulse pounding in my ears.
Nix was the first to brave a glance my direction. "Did not know she was coming, bro. I swear to you. Scotlyn told me Taylor was too busy with work to get away for the weekend."
Rett turned around. "It's a big place. With a little effort, you'll hardly have to see each other."
Dray climbed out first. I stayed in the backseat, seriously contemplating staying there for the rest of the weekend. But if Taylor was in on this, then it meant she wanted to see me. Maybe it would be a chance to sort things out.
I climbed out last. I
took a deep breath and lifted my gaze to the porch. Taylor's mouth parted in surprise, and she shot a puzzled look at the others. Taylor was stunned to see me. The small glimmer of hope I'd felt just seconds earlier was gone.
Twenty
Taylor
Scotlyn and Cassie cast me sheepish smiles as I recovered from the shock of seeing Clutch emerge from the backseat of Nix's car. "We didn't know Clutch was coming until last night," Cassie called as I rushed back inside.
It took me a second to remember which of the many rooms was mine. I peeked into each one until I saw my purple suitcase. I shot inside and slammed the bedroom door behind me. I'd been tricked, and from the look on Clutch's face, he'd been duped too. My so called friends had assured me that Clutch was staying behind for this trip. Even if they'd only found out last night that Clutch was coming, that was plenty of time to tell me. I had a good mind to stay hibernating in my assigned bedroom with its lush decor for the rest of the weekend.
I sat down on the bed and hugged a pillow to my chest. Deep voices and footsteps echoed in the cavernous great room downstairs. I could make out who was talking but not what was being said. Clutch hadn't spoken a word. I knew his voice like I knew my own. Maybe he'd decided not to come inside. He might just have been mad enough at seeing me that he climbed back into the car.
Just as I finished the thought, I heard it. The soothing hum of his deep voice. I couldn't understand what he was saying but just the familiar resonance of his tone made me hug the pillow tighter to stop the swell of heartbreak. I'd continued bravely on these past few weeks, devoting myself to work, all the while trying to convince myself that I was a grown, independent woman who didn't need to rely on the support and affection of a man to make my life complete. But all that resolve crumbled the second Clutch climbed out of the backseat. All I could think was how badly I missed him. Now he was here. In the same house.