I really needed to stop thinking about him.
Maybe I should go to Mindy’s or check into a hotel. But it was three weeks, four tops, of my life. Who knew, maybe this time Auggie wouldn’t disappoint me. He had, after all, asked me to stay with him. And he was glad I was here.
I could do this. Who was Kane to me anyway?
Jumping Back in the Water
I stood at the edge of the pool and rubbed my neck in the early-morning light. The air was already too sticky. Why did I leave California again? Oh yeah, to live my father’s dream in hopes of coming to know him; and, apparently, to be tortured by Kane. I hadn’t slept well last night despite being exhausted from the long drive. Knowing Kane was in the room next to me, and the way he’d behaved during dinner, had kept my mind on hyperdrive all night. It was still in Kane mode this morning.
I dove into the invigorating water, hoping a good long swim would help clear my mind. I knew how futile it was. It had been eight years, and I’d never forgotten about Kane. Not like I obsessed about him . . . well, at least not after the first year. My senior year of college had been rough. I’d questioned what was real and whom I could trust. My conclusion was: myself. For that, I would always thank Kane. I mean, not to his face, but in my heart—the heart he’d breathed life into and then stolen. Thankfully, med school and my residency kept me so busy I didn’t have time to miss the beating in my chest. Everything became so mechanical for me, even my relationships. I’d once dated a man for several months who finally ended up telling me I did a great impression of a woman in love, and he loved me so much he was willing to take the imitation; then he also said he loved me too much to allow me to live a pretend life. Those words still stung because I knew they were true, and I had unintentionally hurt someone I really cared for.
I let the cool, teetering-on-warm water wash over me, trying to concentrate on my breathing and each stroke. I reveled in the feel of the silky saltwater. I had to say, I missed this pool. It was better than the chlorinated one at my condo complex in California. I intended to enjoy this pool while I could, as I wouldn’t be at Auggie’s long. Honestly, after dinner last night, I’d contemplated checking into a hotel later this morning. Kane had been, well, Kane. The Kane from eight summers ago. He’d been all smiles and laughter. Worse, it had been as if he was trying to relive our time together in one sitting.
I sat, flabbergasted, as he’d talked about several of the city attractions we had been to together. If that wasn’t odd enough, he’d started talking about every episode of Confessions of a Forensic Pathologist that had ever been on, as if he’d religiously watched and re-watched them. Even weirder was that I’d never had the impression that he enjoyed that show when we were dating. I hated to use that word—dating. For so long I’d wondered if that summer was only about him getting close to me so he could get his dream job in London. That job shot him to stardom. He was the golden boy, not only of Armstrong Labs but of the blood plasma business world. And, obviously, he and Auggie were close. Closer than even I was with my father. How long had they been roommates? Long enough that he’d actually made my father laugh last night. I didn’t even know Auggie could laugh. It was some weird inside joke between them about golf scores. I, on the other hand, had eaten quickly and only gave short answers to any questions directed my way. The kind of answers that didn’t lead to more questions, more engagement. But Kane had been relentless. Questions regarding my thoughts about such and such case on my favorite show. Questions about where I was looking for a place to lease. And questions about if I wanted his help. Absolutely not. And those were the exact words I’d used, which only seemed to amuse him.
So much for trying to forget about him. Just swim.
Lap after lap, I couldn’t shake him. I kept thinking about every little touch from last night. From how he’d made sure to touch my hand when he passed the chicken to when he’d rested his hand on my thigh under the table, before I’d immediately pushed it off. With every touch, my heart beat as if someone had finally shocked it with a defibrillator. I’m not going to lie, it made me angry. Kane had no right to touch me. And he certainly had no right to affect me so strongly after so many years. After he’d made me fall in love with him and then left me with no cause or warning.
Focus on your breathing. Become one with the water. You can do this, Scarlett. You became a doctor. You’re strong and smart. Yes. Yes, I am.
Those were good thoughts until I was interrupted by a huge splash, startling me so badly I swallowed a gallon of water, then began violently coughing while flailing my arms in an attempt to keep my head above water before I drowned. Although that might have been a good alternative to Kane coming to the rescue.
“Scarlett.” He grabbed me, pulled me to the shallow end of the pool, then started patting my back while I gasped for air, and not just because of the water I’d sucked into my lungs. My body, though convulsing, was very aware it was in Kane’s arms, against his bare chest, and there was little clothing between us. My traitorous body longed to sink into him and rest my head against his chest. Worse, my heart screamed that it was alive and home. That, I couldn’t have.
I pushed away from him, but he wasn’t letting me go.
“Breathe.” He kept patting my back.
“I . . . am,” I stuttered between coughs, hardly able to get oxygen into my lungs. Why did I always do embarrassing things around him? I mean, he wasn’t the only witness to my idiocy, but he was the last person I wanted as my audience.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He stopped patting my back and brushed some of the hair that had fallen out of my messy bun away from my face.
His touch scared me more than anything. I took a good deep breath in without coughing and pushed away. “I’m fine. The pool is all yours.” I turned to swim back to the steps.
Kane was quick on the draw and reached for me, gently grabbing my wrist. “Scarlett,” he said tenderly.
I hung my head and sighed. Why wouldn’t he leave me alone?
“Please look at me.”
I’d been doing my best to avoid it at all costs. His rich caramel eyes did things to me. They made me believe anything was possible. That dreams could come true. They were false advertisers. But I couldn’t avoid him forever, so I dared a peek. That was my first mistake. Not only were his eyes irresistible and full of wonder, but he hadn’t shaved yet this morning, and, in a word, he was beautiful. I noticed he now had a bit of gray in his dark stubble. It only added to his distinguished air.
Kane drew me closer, and I was so mesmerized by those eyes of his, it didn’t even register until we were so close that I could smell the spearmint mouthwash on his breath.
“What are you doing?” I breathed out.
“Having the best morning I’ve had in a long time.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I think you know.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t allowing myself to go where his undertones were heading. I couldn’t believe his audacity. “I need to go.”
“Scarlett, I missed you,” he blurted.
“No. No. Don’t say things like that. You don’t get to say things like that.”
“Why?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You know why. I told you I . . . well, never mind.” Good one, Scarlett. Bring up how you humiliated yourself and told him you loved him, only to have him tell you to go fall in love with other men. “You left.” It was as simple as that. I yanked away from him and dove into the water.
The athletic man made it to the steps before I did. No matter, I was still leaving. I ignored him and walked out of the pool, only to have him follow me to the towel valet. He stood in front of it like a juvenile, preventing me from reaching for a towel.
I stood there dripping wet in my red tankini, staring at him, dumbfounded. Meanwhile, he looked me over from head to toe, a big grin spreading across his face.
Oh, I got it. “Is this body now worthy of you?” I spun and headed for the house, not caring if I drip
ped water all the way up to my room. I’d always known he wanted someone more attractive than me, given his supermodel propensity. Not to say I would be hitting the runways anytime soon. I wasn’t even close to that level. But, I wasn’t oblivious to the fact I had received more male attention since I’d lost weight.
Kane grabbed my hand and spun me right back around, fury blazing in his eyes. “Did I do things during our relationship that I regret and wish to God every day I could take back? The answer is yes. But tell me one time when I ever gave a damn about your weight.”
I had never seen him this angry. I stood speechless, blinking and blinking, wondering what regrets he had and trying to think of a time when he had made my weight an issue. He never had. It was always me. But the fact remained that he’d left. Not only left me, but cut me out of his life completely, except for holiday dinners, which were awkward messes. What else was I supposed to think? “Please let me go.”
He dropped my hand with a heavy exhale. “Scarlett, I didn’t come out here to upset you. I want to talk to you. Explain why I left.”
“You had eight years to explain yourself.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he whispered.
“Why now? It doesn’t even matter anymore,” I lied.
He wasn’t buying it for a second. “If that were true, you wouldn’t keep trying to run away from me.” He smirked, daring me to contradict him.
My mouth fell open, but not a word came out. I hated that he still knew me so well. Fine. I would show him. I stood tall and folded my arms across my bare midriff. “Go ahead. Let’s hear it.”
He chuckled. “I really have missed you.”
“I wish you wouldn’t say that,” I said, half-exasperated.
That wiped the smile off his face. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I only want you to know the truth. Can I take you to breakfast?”
As much as I wanted to know the reason why he’d left, my heart couldn’t afford being in his presence. As hard as I’d tried not to, I still loved him. He was the first man to ever see me, and he introduced me to myself. It was the best gift I had ever been given. Because of that, he and I would always be connected. But while the connection did exist, it didn’t mean I needed to torture myself by deepening it.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Maybe you could send me an email.”
He stepped closer, smiling. “I really think this should be an in-person conversation, darlin’.”
Oh, no, no, no. He was not darlin’-in’ me with his sexy southern accent. I stepped back. “You could text,” I suggested. It’s not like I had changed my number. And if he didn’t still have it, he could get it from his BFF Auggie.
“What are you afraid of?”
Definitely him. “I’m not,” I stuttered. “I’m busy. Very busy.”
He reached out and played with a strand of my curly hair.
My eyes came face-to-face with his taut, smooth chest and his nipples. That stupid YouTube video I’d watched years ago about how to kiss like a goddess popped into my head, and I started to giggle like an idiot. Never did find out if he liked to have his nipples kissed. And it would definitely remain a mystery.
Kane tilted his head. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I need to go.”
“I really wish you wouldn’t.” His sexy undertones and body had me spellbound.
My head and heart were at war about whether we should stay or go. The spell was broken when Auggie appeared almost out of nowhere.
He was already dressed for the day in his suit and tie. He looked between Kane and me, and long gone was the disdain from eight years ago whenever he saw us together. In fact, if I wasn’t mistaken, his lips twitched like he might smile. Was I in the Twilight Zone?
“Good, you’re both together. I want to talk to you.”
I stepped away from Kane, and this time he didn’t close the distance. Thank goodness; I needed to breathe.
We gave Auggie our attention.
“I would like both of you to meet me in my office today at ten. I have an important matter of business to discuss with you. Carry on.” He didn’t even wait for a response before he turned and walked back toward the house.
I watched my father go, feeling more and more like I had entered the Twilight Zone; or maybe the mix-up in the space-time continuum that had long ago thrown Kane and me together was beginning to right itself, or perhaps malfunction again. There was no way to be sure. NASA really needed to investigate this house. Weird happenings were afoot.
“Do you know what that was all about?” I asked Kane.
“No clue. But,”—he flashed me a heart-stopping grin—“he did say to carry on. Would you like to continue in the pool or head to breakfast?”
I was almost taken in by his charm. Almost. But I wasn’t that naive anymore. And he’d made his choice eight years ago. “I think I’ll let you carry on by yourself. You’re good at that.”
He slapped a hand across his glorious chest. “Ouch, darlin’. I deserved that, but don’t think I’m giving up.”
I turned and walked away, more afraid than I’d ever been. It didn’t help when he yelled out, “By the way, I like this new feisty side to you. Looks like the whiskey finally burst the teacup. Total turn-on.”
I pressed my lips together before I smiled. I was in trouble. Deep trouble.
Declaration of War
I walked into the office feeling like an intern again—uncertain, and like everyone was looking at me. Though I was better dressed now. Ethan had a knack for fashion. He’d taught me how to shop and knew the best places to get designer labels at deeply discounted prices. I was wearing a straight coral dress with a thin black belt. It accentuated all my curves—at least that’s what Ethan had said when I’d tried it on for him back in January. He used to get more excited than me when I found something I liked and looked good in it. Fashion was never my thing, but today I felt like I needed to be on my A game.
I was very curious as to why Auggie wanted to see Kane and me here in his office. He’d had last night to talk to us during dinner, or even this morning at the house. Now that I thought about it, he’d never once brought up business, which was so unlike him. But Kane had dominated the conversation with his incessant need to make me talk to him. After this morning’s little episode, his actions during dinner now made more sense. I was beginning to believe he thought we should get back together. Was he insane? And where was all this coming from? We’d both moved on with our lives. Though Naomi contested Kane and I hadn’t moved on from each other. She was wrong. Right?
I would have to worry about it later. Right now, I needed to focus on not falling flat on my face in the heels I was wearing. I still wasn’t a fan of pumps, but Ethan had said a dress like this called for them. And he’d said they made my calves look sexy. Why I had the need to feel sexy today, I didn’t know. Okay, so maybe I did. Perhaps I wanted to show Kane what he had missed out on. And I wanted people to see I had grown up. That I wasn’t the shy, awkward intern anymore. Now I was the shy, awkward lab director. At least I was the well-dressed shy, awkward lab director. That was another worry. I didn’t want people to believe I wasn’t qualified. That the only reason I’d gotten the job was because of my last name.
Not that it was a secret that if you were ever related to Auggie, you had a job with him. Auggie wasn’t a nepotist per se—you had to prove your worth, but he would always give you a foot in the door. Kane could at least claim he’d made his own way in before Auggie had married his mother. Still, no one here would ever know what I had given up to take on this job. Well, maybe one person. But he was the one who’d made me realize dreams were just that—dreams.
After Kane left eight years ago, I had planned to tell Auggie I was going to specialize in forensic pathology, right after I accused him of promoting Kane on purpose so he would leave. However, after I’d voiced my accusation, Auggie had tenderly said he was sorry I was hurt, and then he’d assured me Kane had earned the promotion and he hadn
’t made Kane break up with me. That was Kane’s choice, he’d so painfully pointed out. He added that I should look at it as an opportunity to reach my potential. That he had every confidence I would do great things for Armstrong Labs. I had seen how much that meant to him, and I’d promised him I would. I meant to keep that promise. I had given my life to it.
As I rode the elevator to the executive level, I gripped my purse like a lifeline. Not only because real life was hitting me but because I had to see Kane again. My heart wasn’t ready. I’d done everything I could this morning to make sure we didn’t see each other again before he left for the office. Even when he’d knocked on my bedroom door and asked if I wanted to ride in together, I’d replied through the door, refusing to come face-to-face with him again. He’d known I was going to say no, but he’d reiterated he wasn’t giving up. As far as I was concerned, he’d given up a long time ago.
With a ding, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. I let out a deep breath and stepped onto the gleaming tile floor. I took a moment to look around before I proceeded. Not much had changed since the last time I was here. It was still open and airy, yet just as claustrophobic as it always had been. I can do this.
I started forward; my heels clicked and clacked except when I slipped a bit but, thankfully, caught myself before I hit the floor. Of course, there were witnesses. And one just happened to be my stepsister, Danielle. “Be careful there,” she snickered before walking away. No “Hi, how are you? I like your dress.” Or, “Wow, I love how you straightened your hair.” It was fine. I didn’t need her approval. Long ago I quit seeking her acceptance and that of all my other stepsiblings. Even Kane. He would hate if I ever referred to him as my stepbrother. Maybe I should. Hmm.
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