The posts of his niece and nephew also caught my eye and my heart. His sister had a five-year-old girl and three-year-old boy. They were adorable, with curly red hair. Their daddy was a redhead, so it made sense. Kane had shown me pictures of them yesterday at lunch, but it was fun to see all his posts of how proud he was to be an uncle. Did he ever look good with a baby in his arms? I hadn’t thought he could be any more attractive, yet there he went proving me wrong again.
As I scrolled and scrolled, the ache in my chest grew. I hated that I had missed out on so much of his life. I found myself mentally inserting myself into his pictures and posts. I imagined posts like, Scarlett and I spent the weekend with our favorite kiddos, or Anniversary trip to Cancún—didn’t leave the room once. Those were Kane’s words, not mine, but they sounded perfect. Then I began to imagine what he’d missed out on in my life and what he would have said. So proud of Scarlett—a cap and gown never looked so good, or She said yes! I pictured me beaming, holding up my hand, showing off my engagement ring. I saw myself in front of his house with him holding up the keys to our new home. Our first house. Bring on the babies. His red brick home with a deep porch and a large front yard that needed some work looked, quite honestly, perfect. I could see why Kane had bought it.
I was so overwhelmed by emotion, I stopped scrolling. That was, until I had a notification pop up. Kane had tagged me in some photos. Was he idly waiting for me to unblock him? I clicked on the notifications, and the first photo he’d tagged me in was the one taken at the drive-in. The second one I had never seen—never even knew he had taken it. There I sat on a rock in the middle of a river, in my old red swimsuit, my hair tumbling down in wild waves. I was holding my legs and resting my head on my knees. Tears began to flood my eyes as I remembered the pain of that moment long ago. I had been trying desperately to hold back the tears that day. Kane had just told me he was leaving, and I wanted to be anywhere he wasn’t. The last thing I had wanted to do was get in the car with him and go home, so I had run to the river. Not sure what I’d thought that would accomplish.
Raw heartache leaped off the screen. Yet, there was beauty. I don’t know how Kane did it, but I looked like a model posing for a magazine spread. Honestly, I hardly recognized myself. I realized, though, that’s how Kane saw me then and now.
I braved reading his caption, written long ago.
Last stop this summer, Edge of the World. Fitting, since this woman rocked my world. I’ve never seen a smile as beautiful as hers, or eyes that run so deep and mysterious that all I want to do is get lost in them. Never have I touched skin so soft or heard laughter that sounded like music. Because of her, my world will never be the same again.
That was it. I blinked several times, my eyes blurry from the tears. I smiled, detecting a hint of Christopher Cross in his last line. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn’t read that post until today. I’m not sure what it would have done to me eight years ago—probably wrecked me and given me more questions than answers. Even now, it took my breath away. Kane had changed my world, too. I wondered if our worlds were meant to collide again and not in the professional sense.
Did I want to miss out on more memories with him?
So much for taking my mind off him. Kane was either an evil genius or the best ex-boyfriend ever. Maybe both.
My phone buzzed, and I looked to see who had texted.
Good night, Scarlett. Thank you for being my friend.
I sighed and rested the phone on my lap before rubbing my hands over my face. Suddenly, friendship didn’t sound as good as I’d thought it would. But what could I do? If I thought Kane was a distraction now, I knew opening the door to him would be game over for me. I had no time for romance, I was literally out for blood. He had already stolen himself and our missed memories from me. He wasn’t taking Armstrong Labs.
The Experience
I looked down at my notes, not seeing any of the words. My mouth was dry, though I had been drinking water like a fish. That probably wasn’t smart, since I would be getting up soon and presenting to almost a hundred and fifty people, including all the board members. Why I had agreed to this, I would never know. Well, I did know, but I should have known better. I was the girl who almost failed Latin so I wouldn’t have to give a valedictorian speech. I began racking my brain for what I could do now. Faint? Pull the fire alarm? That would look suspicious, considering Kane was about to get up and present. He would think I was sabotaging him.
Kane. Beautiful Kane in his designer black suit looked calm, cool, and collected as he made his way to the podium here in the conference room of the Porsche Experience Center. This place was so him—sophisticated, sleek, open, and light. The room gave a stunning 360-degree view of the racecourse, where anyone who wanted could take a Porsche for a spin after this morning’s session and the catered lunch. Of course, Kane would be taking advantage of the opportunity. I overheard him tell Jaycie and a few other people how amazing it was. He’d been mostly avoiding me, to the point of staying at his place. Not to say he was ignoring me. He’d been pleasant and greeted me this morning when I’d walked in, even complimenting me on my red dress. Other than that, he’d been rather elusive.
Was this all part of his strategy? Drive me mad thinking about him, wondering where he was all the time and what he was doing. Did he still want me? Did I want him? Judging by the way I was mesmerized by him, I would say that was an easy answer. But nothing was actually easy about this. The board was already starting their process, even though I had two weeks left to hone my plan. I’d had to turn in a résumé and bio to them a couple of days ago. And I knew they were researching my accomplishments. They were contacting former colleagues, professors, and attending physicians I had worked under. They were even reading all the papers I had published in various medical journals, including Johns Hopkins and Stanford. That had to look good, right? So, Kane had been in Forbes and Bloomberg Businessweek. Yes, I knew that was a big deal.
Focus, Scarlett. And not on Kane.
Auggie had thought it would be a good idea if I spoke today as well. It was a last-minute kind of thing. I had a feeling some board members had suggested it. I assumed they wanted to evaluate how well I could publicly perform, seeing as I would be the face of Armstrong Labs. Auggie suggested I speak on a look into the future of plasma therapies, since most people in the company assumed I would be the lab director.
The thing is, public performances aren’t really my thing. Sure, I was no longer the girl who ran away from giving valedictorian speeches, but I was still awkward. I was either dry and stale or I got all giggly. There was no in-between.
Staring at my notes was impossible. Kane was giving a commanding performance. I couldn’t help but give him my attention. Kane stepped out from behind the podium to get closer to the audience, which included me, as I was sitting in the front behind a row of long white tables. I watched him as he made eye contact with everyone he could—except me—drawing them in. It worked like a charm; everyone was glued to him. Coming out from behind that podium was genius; it said, “I’m one of you—we’re a team.”
Kane had come up with the conference theme, the Armstrong Lab Experience, obviously based on the Porsche Experience, and he was playing to that concept. “Porsche was built to compete, win, and stand the test of time, and so is Armstrong Labs. Not only do we have the most sophisticated system to collect plasma safely and effectively, but we are the global biotech leader in research and development. Our innovations, along with our pharmaceutical partners, have created life-saving therapies and will continue to do so well into the future. What makes us so strong is our diversity, not only in people, but in products. Just like the visionaries at Porsche didn’t stop with perfecting the sports car but went on to develop other popular lines of vehicles, Armstrong Labs has continued to be on the leading of edge of . . .”
Kane’s presentation was interrupted, at least for me, by Jaycie, who for some reason, had stayed next to me all day. She leaned toward me and whispered, �
��Isn’t he amazing?”
I nodded. He truly was. Auggie hadn’t even commanded the audience as well when he had kicked off the conference earlier this morning. In fact, I had never seen anyone captivate an audience the way Kane was.
“I wish he was available.” She wouldn’t be quiet.
Heat rushed to my cheeks in a flash of jealousy. Not that I was surprised Jaycie was angling to be more than his secretary, but there was something about her admitting it to me that made me feel ill.
She didn’t stop there. “I don’t know who he’s seeing, but man, is she lucky.”
“He told you he was seeing someone?” I couldn’t keep myself from asking, even though it was rude to talk while someone was presenting. I had to know if that someone was me or another woman.
“Not in so many words. He just said his heart belongs to one woman alone.”
I rubbed my own heart and tried to focus back on Kane, even though Jaycie’s words were buzzing in my head. I wondered how long ago they’d had that conversation. Did I still own his heart? He hadn’t been acting like it the last few days. Not that I had given him a lot of incentive to. I hadn’t even responded to his text after I’d unblocked him on Facebook. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to—I just didn’t know what to say.
Now here I was, watching him kill it. He was definite CEO material. I even sneaked peeks at some of the board members, all of whom were smiling. I could see the wheels turning in their heads. All those wheels were headed toward Kane. It was apparent that Armstrong Labs was his passion. The people in this room were his incentive. His words said, “I care about you and your future, not only the company’s.”
I had never even really stopped to think about the people in this room. Only the man sitting next to me, Auggie, and the man in front of me speaking beautiful words. I was in this for Auggie, and Kane was in this for everyone. Sure, I had thought about the lives we would save. That was something. But I now realized I wasn’t doing this for all the right reasons. I needed to expand my vision and shift my perspective. Suddenly, I felt small and even selfish. I didn’t think I was a selfish person by nature. Honestly, I thought I was being selfless by trading my dreams for Auggie’s. But how could I be the captain when I didn’t know the crew?
Instead of having my nose in books and reports, I should have been talking to the people in this room. Obviously, Kane had. Sure, he’d been working at Armstrong Labs for years, but he knew everyone by name. I mean everyone. He literally went around the room and mentioned each of them by name, even the people who had come in from some of our offices around the world. He greeted one woman, Bella, and then spoke of how her son had been saved by the very plasma therapies we’d had a hand in creating. It didn’t matter if he told a story about the person or not—each person smiled when he said their name. All one hundred and fifty people, including me, who he had saved for second to last. Though he hardly gave me a passing glance. He set his sights on Auggie, the last person in his parade of names, and segued into a beautiful tribute to my father—the visionary.
“We wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for the insight, vision, and fortitude of Augustus Armstrong. The man who is truly the lifeblood of our company.”
The room erupted in applause.
Auggie stood and waved. He was actually beaming as he looked over the crowd. This was his life’s work. I’d always known that, but Kane, in his thirty-minute presentation, had made me understand how incredible it was. Unfortunately, he also made it very clear what I lacked. Did he do that on purpose? If he did, touché. More like stick a fork in me, I was done.
How was I going to get up and speak after him? Fainting was sounding good right about now. Auggie sat down, while Kane finished off his Academy Award–winning performance, and patted my knee. “I’m looking forward to your presentation. You can do this,” he whispered, like he actually understood I was nervous. It was odd how comforting his presence had become. Maybe we would get this father-daughter thing figured out.
Still, I worried I would disappoint him. I looked at my note cards, and they appeared to be written in hieroglyphics My mouth was so dry now, I couldn’t swallow.
Please, Scarlett, get your act together. You interviewed at the most prestigious schools in the country and got accepted. Don’t forget, you’re a doctor. A real-life MD. You’ve given big presentations before. So, they weren’t mind blowing, but they were well thought out and at least got the point across, even during your fits of giggling or talking in monotone. You can do this. Please. Your father believes in you.
That was something. But I needed to believe in myself.
I didn’t even hear what Kane said at the end, I was so stuck in my head. Then the applause for him drowned out even my own thoughts. For good or bad, I did hear my own name being announced as the next presenter. My introduction sounded impressive, touting my education and degrees.
I stood on shaky legs with my note cards in hand. I shouldn’t have worn heels. I felt even more wobbly than normal. One other thing—I should have sat on the end of the row. Because who banged her knee on a chair trying to get out? That’s right, me. Who also let out a little yelp when she banged said knee? Yep, me again. A few people gasped on my behalf. Great. To make matters even better, my heel snagged on the carpet on my walk to the podium and I faltered a bit. At this rate, people were going to think I was drunk. Maybe I should have had a glass a wine.
By the time I made it to the podium, my heart was beating out of control. I gripped the podium and looked out at the rows of people all staring at me. I still wasn’t fond of it. Even though I was dressed to impress, and I was having an unusually good hair day. Admittedly, I had kept it down in long wavy tresses—the way Kane loved it. Yes, I wanted him to notice. I know, I needed help. Like right now.
I swallowed, and my throat seemed to swell up mid-swallow. I gripped the podium tighter, trying to get the rest of the swallow down. Did I mention that everyone was staring at me and the lights seemed awfully bright so I was blinking way too much? My brain finally remembered that I should say something. “Thank you for that introduction,” I stuttered. Now what did I say? Oh yeah, note cards.
My hands were trembling so hard I could barely see the words. Thankfully, I knew the joke I was going to start with by heart.
“Did you hear about the outgoing pathologist?” Without any sort of comedic timing, I rushed to say the punchline. “He stares at YOUR shoes when he talks!”
Crickets. Apparently, no one got it. Except I heard one lone laugh. A laugh I knew better than my own. My gaze naturally drifted to Kane, who was now sitting at the end of the front row. I felt my eyes begin to sting with tears, not only because the joke had flopped but because he had tried to support me. He flashed me a smile before mouthing, “You can do this.”
In that instant, I knew he wasn’t my enemy; he was my ally. Which, in a way, made it harder. I didn’t want to defeat my ally. So, for a moment, I forgot I was competing against him. Instead, I decided my presentation should complement his. This wasn’t about me. This was about the people sitting in this room and in our many offices around the world. It was about our partners and the patients on the receiving end of our life-saving treatments.
I nodded at Kane and smiled. “Let’s try that again. An internist, radiologist, surgeon, and pathologist walk into a bar.” I paused for dramatic effect, and because I didn’t really know a joke that began like that. “Just kidding.”
This time everyone laughed, and I relaxed a bit, even letting go of the podium.
When the laughter died down, I started with, “All joking aside, I want to thank Kane for his inspiring words. We’re fortunate to be part of the global Armstrong family.” For the first time, when I said that, I not only meant it but felt it in my heart. “A company whose main goal is to save lives. And regardless of what position we each hold, everyone in this room plays a part in fulfilling that mission. We’ve all heard the saying that not all heroes wear capes; I would say that all Armstrong L
ab employees are heroes.”
The audience spontaneously clapped. I was so taken aback by their response, I almost forgot to speak again when it died down. Thankfully, I remembered I had note cards, and they had become legible to me again.
“Though we’ve made great strides, we know our work isn’t done. There are over two thousand plasma proteins, the vast majority of which are waiting for us to unlock their life-saving potential.” That seemed to pique several people’s interest. I’m not sure how the rest of it went as I delved into some of the latest technology, research, and equipment that we were using or planned to implement. I think I might have used my monotone voice, but no one fell asleep, and I got another round of applause at the end when I used part of the mission statement I had been working on. “Together we will better humankind, one plasma donation at a time.”
I took their applause as my cue to hustle back to my seat. Auggie had made sure I was the last speaker during this session. I felt like it should have been Kane. Kane, who gave me a wink and nod of approval before I sat down. But that was all—his attention was quickly drawn toward the emcee, who thanked all the presenters and directed everyone to the restaurant that had been reserved for our party only.
I had barely sat down before everyone was standing. I jumped up too.
Auggie beamed at me and gave my hand an almost imperceptible squeeze. “Well done, Scarlett.”
“Thank you.”
Jaycie and what looked like almost everyone else, including all the board members, rushed to Kane, to bask in his glory and congratulate him on a job well done. A few people, on their way to him, said they enjoyed my presentation.
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