This Quest is Broken! (This Trilogy is Broken (A Comedy Litrpg Adventure) Book 1)

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This Quest is Broken! (This Trilogy is Broken (A Comedy Litrpg Adventure) Book 1) Page 30

by J. P. Valentine


  The imps came from nowhere.

  A dozen of the three-foot demonoids seemed to step out of the cavern wall itself, baring their jagged teeth at the intruding adventurers. Their skeletal bodies were made of the same deep blue ice as the hellhounds, their claws just as sharp and their cry just as eerie.

  The first frost bolt landed on Alex’s shield. The second grazed her arm, but the gash closed up before Eve’s eyes.

  The Striker Charged! before there could be a third.

  Eve didn’t bother with Fate-al Blow, the three hundred Strength from dropping thirty Mana into Mana Rush more than enough to shatter an imp with a single swing of her morningstar.

  She skirted the edge of the battle, keeping to the cavern wall as Alex intercepted the demons’ spells and Wes retaliated with magic of his own. Whenever a swipe of the warrior’s spear or a burst of mage’s fire left an imp separated from its cohort, Eve struck.

  There were only three left when the frost bolt hit her.

  She’d seen it coming. Hells, she’d been running the beast down as it channeled its spell. What Eve hadn’t expected was for Wes’s growing inferno to suddenly flare up with stifling heat and blinding light.

  She was still blinking the dark spots from her vision when the spell struck.

  The force behind the flying ice shard sent it right through the thick leather guarding her left thigh. Pain exploded through her as the attack cut deep into the side of her leg. It was enough to send her careening away, backpedaling wildly away from the fray until she collided with the cavern wall.

  By the time she recovered her footing, the fight was already over.

  You have defeated Level 32 Frostborn Imp: +450 exp!

  You have defeated Level 32 Frostborn Imp: +450 exp!

  …

  You have defeated Level 30 Frostborn Imp: +390 exp!

  The twelve imps came to 5040 exp in total, enough to cause two additional notifications to appear in Eve’s vision.

  Level Up!

  Ability Upgraded!

  Passive Ability - Mana-hardened

  Redirect Mana within your body to reinforce particular areas.

  A quick check confirmed the skill still had all the old benefits of the Battle-hardened from which it had evolved, so Eve was plenty happy for the upgrade. She wondered if discovering Mana Manipulation had influenced the change. Given how similar the description sounded to what she’d done to dim her glowing, it would only make sense.

  A fresh wave of pain from her injured leg pulled Eve back to the real world. “Preston, I know you’re excited to level up again, but I would really appreciate some healing.”

  Silence greeted her.

  “Preston?”

  Wes spoke up, “He was just with…” He trailed off as the blue reflection of a status screen faded from his eyes. He jerked his head back and forth, peering down the passage in both directions. “Shit.”

  Eve’s heart raced, pumping ice through her veins as she called out once again. It was no use.

  Preston was gone.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  When in Doubt, Burn the Puzzle

  “CHECK THE WALLS.” Cold authority filled Alex’s voice, hiding a backdrop of well-controlled fear. “Unless he just started sprinting as soon as the imps appeared, they must’ve taken him through a secret passage.”

  Wes practically raced to the nearest wall, running his hands across the frozen surface with the vigor of desperation. Eve joined in as much as she could, limping along on her wounded leg.

  “His pack’s here!” Wes’s shout echoed down the empty cavern. “This must’ve been where…” He trailed off, abandoning the messenger bag to scan every inch of cave-side above it.

  Alex paused in her search to root through Preston’s belongings. “Regi’s gone too.”

  “That’s something,” Eve tried to offer comfort. “At least they’re together.”

  Wes was having none of it. “So we’ve managed to lose both of our most defenseless party members. Great. ‘Protect the healer’ is rule number gods-damned one.”

  Alex stood, turning back around to toss a tight-sewn leather pouch across the cave. Eve caught it.

  Healing Tincture

  Rarity: Uncommon

  She swallowed it in a single gulp, wincing as the bitter syrup dripped down her throat. The pain in her leg vanished immediately as the skin knit itself back together. The hole in her armor was another issue. “Good thing he bought these. Though I’m not sure Preston should be the one carrying them. We’d be screwed if he hadn’t dropped his pack.”

  “It’s no use.” Wes took a step back. “It’s solid ice. They must’ve used frost magic to open it up.”

  “Shit,” Alex cursed under her breath. “This is just like—”

  “It’s okay,” Eve interrupted before Alex could travel too far along that thought. The Survivor had made too much progress since full-on panicking at the sight of a dungeon. She needed Alex to keep it together. “If they wanted Preston dead, there’d be a corpse here. We have his potions, and we’re all capable adventurers. We can still find him.”

  “Not if the door only opens for ice mages,” Wes said, his shoulders slumping. He pointed down the open tunnel ahead. “For all we know that path goes on for miles before winding up wherever they took him.”

  Alex rubbed her temples. “Ice melts, Wes.”

  The Acolyte didn’t stop to chastise himself for the lapse in thought. He simply raised a hand, and the wall came alight. For Wes, ice burned too.

  Hot steam filled the air, shining orange with the bright glow of the magical fire as the walls themselves gave way to the devouring flame. Wes watched the inferno with intensity in his gaze, his eyes glimmering the same flickering hue of the blaze before him.

  The fire raged.

  Eve coughed as ice gave way to stone, and steam to sticky black smoke. “That’s enough!”

  Still it burned.

  “Wes!” she called, placing a hand on the mage’s shoulder.

  He shook her off, glowering as he nonetheless clenched his fist and quenched the flames. Now only Eve’s silver light shined upon the lingering steam and ash and dust, forcing the companions to squint and wait for the haze to settle. When at last it did, a passage revealed itself.

  Wes lurched forward, squeezing his shoulders in to fit within the narrow confines of the stone tunnel. Alex stopped him. “I’m first. We do this right or not at all. You can’t help Preston if you die to a random frost bolt.”

  The burly mage scowled but remained silent as he stepped away to allow Alex past.

  Eve stooped over to collect Preston’s pack as she took up the rear, slinging it over her shoulder to rest beside her own. It would be tricky to ditch both in the event of a fight, but given the tight space in which they traveled, she wouldn’t be much use anyway.

  Alex set a careful pace down the dark path, regularly holding her ground as Wes prodded her to go faster. The third time she reminded him that survival was more important than haste seemed to quiet his protests.

  From her limited vantage at the back of the procession, Eve found the constant stops to carefully check each and every corner of twisting passage a bit unwieldy, but she accepted the need for caution. She wouldn’t be the one getting bitten if they accidentally walked into a pack of hellhounds.

  Though the walls of the secret tunnel were rough stone rather than the sheer ice of the main cavern, they were still cold as all hells. Well, Eve supposed they were cold as one particular hell, but she still wasn’t sure which. She was pretty sure the fourth through eighth hells were all frozen, and she thought the second might’ve been as well but couldn’t say for certain. She was no theologian.

  After three sharp left turns, two gentle rightward bends, and an uncomfortably long staircase down, the passage opened up into a wide chamber. Alex scanned the room for hostiles before lowering her spear and allowing Eve and Wes inside.

  The circular cavern, nearly thirty feet across and as many tall
, was mostly empty. Three doors blocked off three paths, one of wood, one of stone, and one of steel. Eve didn’t need to try their handles to know they were locked—the room’s only other feature made her sure of that.

  Three square pillars stood in a line at the cavern’s center, each no taller than Wes’s chin, and each topped with a rectangular block of ice. Much as Eve marveled at their pure edges and crisp corners, it was their contents that drew her gaze.

  Three keys sat suspended in the ice, one of wood, one of stone, and one of steel.

  “I thought this was a secret passage,” Wes said. “What is a gods-damned puzzle room doing here?”

  Alex shrugged. “Maybe it’s symbolic?”

  “It doesn’t look like much of a puzzle,” Eve commented. “Steel key for the steel door? Unless I’m missing something…”

  “It probably has something to do with their scripture; the different materials mean different things.” Alex sighed. “Or it’s all completely random and the ice is only there to keep non-frost mages out.”

  “We don’t have time for this.” Wes stormed up to the wooden door at the cavern’s left. “They could’ve taken Preston down any one of these tunnels.” He raised a palm to the oaken planks, setting it alight with Burning Hand.

  The wood refused to burn.

  The flames flared up in a burst of white as Wes threw more Mana into it, but the blaze itself never strayed from the confines of his hand. When at last he ended the spell and pulled away, not even a scorch stained the simple door.

  Eve bit her lip to keep herself from laughing; she knew Wes was in no mood for jokes. That didn’t stop her. “So you can burn ice, but you can’t burn some bloody wood?”

  “It’s gotta be enchanted. I can burn anything.” Wes turned from the door, heading back to the pillars. “But since you mentioned ice…” He reached for the block holding the steel key.

  “Wes, wait,” Alex stepped in. “Maybe we should think about this. If it is a puzzle room, I don’t think blasting it with fire is the intended solution.”

  “Fuck the intended solution. They have our friend.” He cast the Burning Hand.

  The ice caught fire, spreading steam through the tall cavern as it burned away. Wes grit his teeth, Fanning the Flames to speed the process. The room grew hot, the mage fire strong enough to overcome the demonic chill that permeated the dungeon. Flames danced in Wes’s eyes as he drove the inferno, set on freeing the key from its frozen prison as soon as possible.

  Eve saw the smoke before he did. “Wes, stop!” She dashed across the room, practically shoving the man aside. By the time he finally ended the inferno, it was too late.

  Where once had been a key of dark steel was now a malformed lump of melted slag. Wes cursed, releasing a string of increasingly creative expletives as he declared his anger at the gods, the dungeon, his class, and at ‘those infernal whispers.’

  Eve placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Wes. It’s okay. For all we know that wasn’t even the right way.” She fingered her mace. “Let me take a swing.”

  “Is that a good idea?” Alex asked.

  Eve shrugged. “Do you have a better one? I really don’t think this is meant as a puzzle—the ice doesn’t have anything to do with the different types of door. Assuming it’s just there to make people prove they can manipulate demonic ice, I think smashing is probably our best bet.”

  Alex furrowed her brow in thought before eventually nodding, stepping aside to allow Eve access to the other pillars.

  Eve sized up the stone key as she drew her weapon, choosing the target she hoped would prove the most durable. She stepped back.

  Activating Mana Rush for a hundred Mana per second put her just below thirteen hundred Strength, plenty to break a foot-thick block of ice. With a deep breath and a running start, she swung.

  The sound it made was satisfying as all hells. The shattering echoed across the empty cavern, resonating wonderfully as it reached Eve’s ears. She smiled. That is, she smiled until she saw the remains of the key on the floor. All dozen pieces of it.

  “Shit,” she swore, bending over to collect the broken stone. While the teethed tip seemed relatively unharmed, the shaft and rounded end were anything but. At least she had a pile of pebbles for her efforts. Eve lifted the semi-whole end with the intact teeth. “Think this’ll still work?”

  “Depends,” Alex answered. “If you want to jam the lock so nobody can open it and you can’t get the key out, then yes, that’ll work. If you want to actually open the door…” She shrugged. “No way you’ll be able to turn that thing.”

  Eve cursed again. “Alright. One key left then. Any ideas?”

  “Well, we’ve got two options,” the Survivor reasoned aloud. “Either you try and hit it softer, or Wes tries to melt it slower.”

  Eve watched her status screen as the final seconds of Mana Rush’s minimum ticked away before she could cancel it. She had to maintain some Mana after all. “I could try un-empowered, but my strength boost has gone on cooldown. Will probably take twenty minutes or so to come off.”

  “I’ll do it,” Wes said, determination filling his face.

  Eve faltered. “Are you sure? Between the fights and the secret passage and the steel key—”

  “I was rushing,” he snapped, “because we don’t have time. Every minute could mean the difference between saving Preston or finding a pretty blond corpse on some sacrificial altar.”

  “The way you stared at those fires didn’t look like rushing to me.”

  Wes swallowed. “I can do this. I’m in control, not my class. I just need…” He exhaled. “I need to focus.”

  Eve shared a worried look with Alex before quietly nodding. Truth be told, even if they did wait for her cooldown, she didn’t have much confidence in her ability to shatter the ice. Mana Rush only let her change her Strength once—too much and she’d break another key, too little and the ice would hold strong, forcing another cooldown. At least Wes would either succeed or fail quickly. The main tunnel they’d left behind was still open to them.

  The fire mage stepped up to the frozen key, holding both hands in the air above the well-carved block. They came alight with a flash, glowing a dim red instead of the sharp white or burning orange they had before.

  Eve smiled as the first drop of water struck the floor.

  Wes didn’t even notice. His eyes were affixed to his Burning Hands. They shook as he held them there, drifting down as if to set the block aflame before jerking away as he retook his focus. There was an instability to the gentle blaze as it flared up and died down in random waves, each growing dangerously nearer to touching the ice itself.

  Only the bottom teeth of the wooden key were still encased when Wes slipped up. Whether by loss of focus or tiring arms or the chaotic nature of fire itself, a spark leapt from his thumb just as that hand dipped towards the retreating ice. A flame took hold.

  Wes let it.

  He lowered his hands yet farther, pressing the limits of how much heat he could apply without burning the wooden key. Much as Eve wanted to shout, to insist he slow down and extinguish the growing blaze, Wes pushed forward.

  He jerked back with a shout just as the untamed fire consumed the ice. Eve held her breath as she turned to meet his gaze.

  A triumphant grin spread across his face as he held aloft his prize, whole and unburnt.

  Eve smiled back at him. “You did it!”

  “Told you I was in control.”

  “Um,” Alex interrupted, “about that…” She pointed back at the keyless pillar and the growing inferno that now consumed the entire structure. “Let’s not burn the dungeon down.”

  Wes paled. “Right. Sorry. I’ll just—” He clenched his fist and fire vanished. “Alright.” He brandished the key once more, pointing it towards the wooden door. “Let’s get moving.”

  The women nodded, following him as he crossed the cavern to fit his newly-won key into its respective door. It swung open without so much as a squeak.
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  As Alex once more took the lead, Eve gave Wes one final look before following into the dark tunnel. She grinned. “Well that was the easiest puzzle room I’ve ever solved.”

  Wes kept his eyes forward. There would be no comments of ‘you didn’t solve shit,’ or ‘every puzzle is easy when you have a hundred and fifty Intelligence,’ or ‘when in doubt, burn the puzzle.’ He had other things on his mind.

  They could only hope the one door they’d managed to open would lead them back to Preston.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Burn, Baby, Burn

  YOU HAVE DEFEATED Level 32 Frostborn Imp: +630 exp!

  You have defeated Level 32 Frostborn Imp: +630 exp!

  …

  You have defeated Level 30 Frostborn Imp: +570 exp!

  Level Up!

  Ability Unlocked!

  Active Ability - Ayla’s Ward

  25 Mana/Sec

  The Lady Ayla protects Her faithful. Manifest your love for Her Benevolence into a shield of holy light, perfect for deflecting projectiles.

  “Ayla’s crooked left tit,” Preston cursed as he dismissed the notifications. Gods, his head hurt. He moved to massage his temples and rub his eyes but found his hands refused to budge from behind his back. A few quick test yanks confirmed they were tied together at the wrist. Of course they were.

  As the unsightly blue light of his messages faded away, Preston got his first look at his surroundings. They were actually rather pleasant. Plush cushions of velvet and silk protected him from the icy floor, while a series of torches cast comforting heat throughout the enclosure. Indeed, were it not for the row of vertical bars blocking his exit from the small cavern, he might’ve thought himself a valued guest.

  The room outside his cell seemed to be some sort of side chamber, occupied only by a storage cupboard, an empty table of plain wood, and a matching chair. There was an exit on each side of the small room, further driving home the idea that it was more a space for passing through than one for lingering, not that Preston had any choice in the matter.

 

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