by Abigail Agar
Eric eyed her with sadness for her sake. He could not imagine what this must have been like for her or the pain that she was feeling as she tried to get through the horrible things that Liza was doing to her and to her family. Although this had all been very difficult for him and for his mother, he recognised that their life was shielded by his title.
“Your family will be fine,” Liza said.
“You know that is hardly true. Your family suffered because of the rumours about you, did they not? I thought that was a part of why you were so angry in all of this. You felt that you had been dearly wronged because of the vast impact it had on those you loved and on you as well,” Miss Sproul reasoned.
“But your family will not abandon you as mine did to me. Your family will not cast you aside and pretend that you are no longer one of them,” Liza replied.
“Would you risk that?” Amelia asked, challenging her mother.
“Amelia, you know that I never meant for her to get hurt,” Liza said.
“But she got hurt nonetheless. All because of your decisions,” Amelia replied.
Eric watched the exchange between the three of them. He saw Miss Sproul pleading for her good name to be returned. He saw her begging on behalf of her family and those who had done nothing to deserve this treatment.
He saw his sister, pleading with her mother to be decent. He watched as she tried to help her mother heal and finally let go of the pain from years before.
And he watched as Liza tried to justify her actions. He watched as she allowed her misery to consume her with one breath and then tell them all that she was decent with the next.
It was confusing, frustrating. But Eric realised in that moment that the three women might never be able to convince one another of their own needs. And while he would not be able to express his desires to Liza, he could perhaps finally make her see who he truly was.
Eric cleared his throat and all three turned to him. There was the same hate in Liza’s eyes. There was worry in his sister’s, as though she thought that he was going to make matters worse. And in Miss Sproul’s eyes there was a beautiful request. As though she was asking him to do the very thing that he was preparing to do.
“Miss Lockhart, I beg you to hear me out once more,” he began.
“Once more…” she sighed. “Shall I never hear the end of it from you and your ilk?” she asked.
“In this moment, I need you to listen. Not for the sake of my father. Not even for my mother and for myself. I know that you have no regrets over the impact that your actions have had on my family. You have made that perfectly clear. But I need you to see who I really am,” Eric said.
Liza’s brow twitched at that, unaccustomed to hearing from the heart of men like him.
“I am nothing like my father. I have told you this before, but I need you to know it. Truly. I am nothing like him. He frequently criticised me for that as a young man, but I was never bothered by it. I did not wish to be like him,” Eric began.
He looked at Miss Sproul and saw a twinge of a smile upon her lips. It was all the strength he needed to continue.
“That being said, Miss Lockhart, I will do whatever is necessary to make things right. I shall beg and plead, I shall go before society and tell them what my father was really like and how my mother and I did not approve of those things but felt quite determined to remain silent. I shall confess that it was a mistake,” he said.
“If you will be appeased with nothing less, I shall find a way to make financial recompense. Although I have seen that my sister’s heart is not the sort that requires such an act, I am willing if you so desire it,” Eric continued.
He could see that Liza’s face had not changed with the offer. It had softened as he spoke, but it was no offer of money that had affected her.
“I am sorry, truly, for what he did and I intend to prove to you that you have more value than that. But I also must insist that you hear me out in regards to Miss Sproul,” Eric said, turning the conversation in the direction that he truly wanted it to go.
Amelia and Liza both looked at Miss Sproul and Eric turned his eyes to her as well, although he was still speaking to Liza and not the young woman who had become the object of his hopes for the future and all that it held.
“This is a young woman who has integrity. She is a lady who works hard, who cares about those around her. She is loyal and brave, quiet and confident. She is charming and beautiful. And your actions have caused her to be the gossip of Finchley and London and any other number of cities in our great nation,” Eric said.
Miss Sproul blushed at that, shame burning in her cheeks that she had ended up with such an unfortunate lot and reputation.
“I never meant for that to happen,” Liza said with a bitter justification.
“But it has happened. She did not deserve it, but it was the result of your own actions. You did this to her, whether you are willing to confess it or not. And I have no intention of standing idly by while you continue to allow her name to be defamed all because of your own grudge,” he said.
“I have learned by now that you are hardly the sort of man who would sit idly,” Liza said.
“Very well. I am glad of that. Because, truly, I have no love of everything that we are speaking about. I do not like to have to speak warnings or be angry. But that is where I am at now and that is what you have brought out of me,” Eric said.
“So you claim to care at all about Emma? You pretend that her dignity is important to you? You say that you are nothing like your father, but he once pretended those things about me,” Liza said.
Eric had been around in circles of conversation with this woman. He had seen how she twisted things to fit her narrative of what had happened to her. He watched as she refused to hear her own daughter, how reason meant nothing to her.
And Eric knew that he had no choice.
“Tell me, Miss Lockhart, in the conversations with my father, how did he express his affections?” Eric asked.
She appeared stunned for a moment.
“His affections?” she asked.
“Yes, Miss Lockhart. Did my father tell you that he cared for you? Did he tell you that he was in love with you?” Eric asked.
Liza paused and pursed her lips.
“No. He never said any such thing,” she finally replied.
It was as Eric had assumed.
“Then I may give you the evidence that I am nothing like my father. Because, with all my heart and everything that I carry within me, I am deeply in love with Miss Sproul. And I have no intention of allowing anything, not rumours, not class, not the expectations of society, nothing will keep me from her.”
Chapter 36
Nothing in all the world had prepared Emma for such a dramatic statement. The confession that she had just heard was something from a dream. It was something that she might’ve longed for, but never thought would come to pass.
The earl looked at her with eyes passionate and filled with truth. Yes, those blue eyes looked upon her as though they might look up on her for the rest of her days.
It was a shock, but it was also a delight.
Emma was overjoyed. As she stared at him, unable to say a word, she began to think that a future could actually be possible.
Yes, this was the very thing that she had never allowed herself to hope for. This was something that she could never have hoped would come to pass.
But, alas, it was now time for her to reply.
“M-my lord,” she began.
“Please. As the man who loves you more than anything in all the world, please call me Eric,” he said, breathless with a joy that rivalled her own.
“Eric…” she said, the name tasting exquisitely sweet upon her lips.
“Yes, my dearest Emma?” he asked, using her name with the freedom of a man who knew that his heart’s desire was his already.
“Eric, I too am in love with you. More than anything in all the world,” she said, using his own words and feeling a quiet con
tentment as she did so.
It was a complete freedom to be able to say those words. After all that they had been through, she had never imagined being able to tell him outright how she felt.
But here she was, standing before the Earl of Thornbury. And now, having told him what she thought, how she felt, everything was falling into place. Finally, she might understand what it was that she had hoped for all this time. Finally, they might be able to take hold of the love between them and move forward.
It was as though the entire world stopped around them. As if they were alone in that room, away and free from Liza and all of her anger and bitterness.
And yet, there was still so much to think through.
Reality began to strike. Emma started to think about the fact that she was being foolish. They both were. No matter how they might feel about one another, none of this could come to pass.
The earl ought to have known better. At least, that was the first thought that popped into her mind. The second that was that she too had to have known even more.
Society would never allow for such a match. They were entirely too different. To think anything otherwise, it was foolish.
In addition to the fact that they were of different classes, there was the matter of the rumours that continued to abound regarding the two of them.
And there was a great deal more than that as well. There was the matter of her mother and father, trusting him after all of the things that had been said.
There were his friends and family. All of the men and women who lived in and survived by society, there was no reason for any of them to trust her. There was no reason for any of them to accept her.
Emma realised that she had been foolish for having hope, but even more foolish for now thinking that a profession of love was going to be enough to make them happy.
Love was a beautiful thing. But love could not prevent them from being overwhelmed by the horrible treatment that society would undoubtedly bestow upon them.
“Think about it, Emma,” Liza said, her words less harsh and cold, but still filled with a warning.
“Think about what?” Emma asked, turning to her as if waking from a dream. All of her thoughts were still with her.
“Think about the consequences. I have heard his pretty words. They are tempting to believe, even for me. I am feeling the pull towards trusting him. But I know men like him. It will never be enough. Having your trust will never be enough,” Liza said.
Emma eyed her, unable to respond to someone who wanted so badly to cling to her own hurt.
“It could be the biggest mistake of your life, Emma,” she continued.
There was no getting around the fact that Liza Lockhart saw things in one single light. That light was dim, pained, unwilling to be free. She was a woman overcome by her sadness and who was perfectly content to be miserable so long as she brought others down with her.
Emma would not be pulled down by it. She would not subject herself to this misery and torment. But she could not bear to watch Liza do it to herself anymore either. All of it had to have some measure of hope.
“Yes, perhaps it could be the biggest mistake of my life,” she began. “But, perhaps, this could be the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. And when I hear the voice of the earl, when I see how deeply he cares for me and for his sister, and for all those in his life, I cannot help but trust him.”
She saw the way that he looked at her then, appreciation in his eyes, a gentle smile, and a nod of gratitude. It was nothing for her, just a statement of the facts. But it was clear that it meant a great deal to the Earl of Thornbury that she had defended him in the wake of Liza’s warning.
Emma looked to Amelia, wondering what her friend was feeling about all of this. She wished that Amelia would speak up, would share her thoughts, would be unafraid to say what was on her mind.
But the expression upon Amelia’s face was one of bewilderment. She looked utterly petrified, as though she had no idea what she was meant to say or do, as though all of this was far too much and far too confusing to be able to decipher the right way of things.
Emma searched her eyes, trying to find the courage that she knew lay within them. After all, had it not always been Amelia who was the brave one? Had she not always been the one who was unafraid to cause trouble, to get in a mess, to speak her mind? Had it not always been Amelia who would look anyone in the eye and refuse to back down?
But all of that had been before this. Things had changed. Things were different now. It was her mother who had been causing the problems and that was a question of loyalties that Amelia was clearly unprepared for.
Emma tried to give her friend strength, to give her a nod of approval, a reminder that she could be strong enough to speak out.
But Amelia continued to look between the three of them. Her loyalties divided.
Her mother. Her dearest friend. Her brother.
“Amelia,” her mother said, by way of warning.
With that, the single sound of her own name spoken in such a tone, Amelia hung her head. She looked at the floor and then back up at those who surrounded her. Finally, she turned to her mother.
“I heard you,” was all she said.
Then, without another word in that direction, Amelia looked at Emma.
“You are my dearest friend in all the world,” she said.
“And you are mine,” Emma replied.
“I could never stop you from being happy. I could never stand in the way of that. I have always thought of you as something akin to a sister and now? Well, if you should marry my brother, then I suppose we finally shall be in some ways,” Amelia said.
Emma realised that this was the beginning. Amelia was consenting to the love held between the two of them. She was accepting it.
“So… you mean…?” Emma asked.
“Yes. I mean that I would love nothing more than for the two of you to be happy together. I would love to see the both of you filled with joy, loving one another, married with a dozen children. It would delight me to no end and I am utterly saddened that it had taken me this long to confess it,” Amelia said.
Emma was stunned once more, as though everything that had taken place prior to this had been a dream and she was just now waking. But had not this whole encounter been a blur of curiosities?
She had faced the stubborn discontent of Liza. She had heard the words of love and adoration from the Earl of Thornbury.
No.
Eric. He was Eric to her now.
And now, at last, she was receiving the approval of Amelia. Amelia was accepting that they could be together.
“Well, good heavens, I never did imagine that you might actually approve of this,” Eric said to Amelia, eliciting laughs from her and Emma.
Liza continued to look on with alarm that the situation had spiralled out of her control.
“How dare you? You have come into my home and turned my own daughter against me now. And still, after all of this, you say that you are a gentleman? That you are a good man?” she challenged Eric.
“It is your decision that keeps you from the happiness that the rest of us have found,” he replied.
“Get out,” Liza said, her words aching from the loss of her daughter’s support.
Amelia drew near to her mother as Emma and Eric backed away towards the door. Emma watched her friend embrace her mother one last time.