“More sleep hasn’t improved his mother’s temperament, unfortunately,” her brother said.
“You are so going to pay for that!” Vanessa shouted again.
“Hey! Don’t talk to your Alpha that way!”
“Okay, what time will you guys finish arguing your way into sex so I can come over?” Christa asked. It was just as well she wasn’t staying with them. She couldn’t imagine anything less disgusting than catching your brother getting it on—other than catching your parents…or your grandparents. Still, it’d be awkward at the very least.
“I wish,” Dane said. “The doctor said six weeks. I’m hoping that translates into less time for Lycans—although maybe in dog years that means… Ow! Vanessa!”
“I’ll give you two until this afternoon, and then I’ll hit you with the hose if you’re not done,” Christa said before hanging up.
Lucifer and she both stared down at the print. “What do you think? What would Lucifer do? I mean you, by the way…not Satan, because I’m pretty sure Satan would be all for letting someone get their throat ripped out.”
Lucifer just stared at her like she was crazy.
And she was.
“I’m just going to let it go.”
Lucifer was still looking at her like she was crazy.
“Oh, what do you know? You’re a cat!” She stomped back inside the house. At least she had time for a few phone calls before she went over to Dane’s.
She made a few calls; some of her gentlemen were early birds. After a breakfast of pancakes—damn Jordan and his pillow talk, she couldn’t seem to stop wanting pancakes—she printed out directions on Jordan’s computer to a nearby grocery store.
With only a few wrong turns, she found the grocery store and leaned heavily on a cart as she pushed through it. Her strength was better. Hopefully, in a couple days, she’d be back to normal, and other than finding herself matched up with a mate tracking a serial killer, this life was lower stress.
Normally, she brought along a list, because her stomach spoke louder than her sense. She’d load up on Oreos and Dr Pepper and then pay with sugar crashes. With Jordan gone, she was allowing her inner girl to pick a few comfort foods. Her relationships had never been that serious. Even the guy who had ditched her when he’d found out she had MS had only rated four nights of Chunky Monkey ice cream.
If anything happened to Jordan… Well, nothing could happen to him. She was staring at the freezer full of ice cream and thinking none of this would be enough to get over Jordan if she had to—so she couldn’t have to.
She pulled out her phone and laughed in relief. Sweet, sweet bars of service. A few missed calls were probably from Jordan’s cell phone. She called him before she took a second to think about it.
“Hello?” he answered drowsily—then, alarmed, “Christa? Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Everything is fine. Is everything fine with you?” Her heart started beating fast. Everything had to be okay. He had to be okay. Life wouldn’t be so cruel as to lead her to someone just to take them away. What if he wasn’t tired? What if he was bleeding to death and she called, and he was too polite to rush her as he bled out?
“Yes. I’m fine.”
They both exhaled into the phone.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I finally had cell service.”
A bed squeaked as Jordan moved around. He was in a bed, talking to her—that was kind of sexy. His voice was all scratchy and gravelly. “It’s fine. I think I just had a heart attack, but it’s good to hear your voice.”
Ditto times twenty. Wow, she was hot for him—which was weird and creepy in the middle of a grocery store. The fluorescent lighting of the ice cream aisle wasn’t meant for sexy talk over the phone. She cleared her throat. “How did last night go?”
“Chased my tail for seven hours.”
“It’s funny only because you might be serious.”
“Mmm. What are you wearing?”
Christa laughed. “Are you going to ask that every time we talk?”
“Yes.”
She looked around before whispering, “I’m wearing clothes because I’m in a grocery store.” She should open the freezer door and stick her head in so the people around her didn’t think she was feverish. Maybe it was a bad idea to call him in a public place when his voice sounded straight out of a fantasy and he was going to ask her questions that would make her blush.
“Damn.”
She laughed again. “What kind of ice cream do you like? I’ll buy some for when you get home.”
“Hmm. I should pick something manly that says I’m strong and can take care of you.”
“Rocky road?”
“Ahh yeah, I should pick that.”
She smiled. “You’re going to pick something sissy, aren’t you? Bubble gum? Oh! Oh! Strawberry. No! Neapolitan!”
“What’s wrong with Neapolitan?” he asked. “It says you don’t settle—you choose all of them.”
“It’s got pink and brown ice cream in it…and vanilla. It says you’re in touch with your feminine side but you swing other ways.”
“That’s good to know…and a relief because, apparently, there are less butch flavors than cookies ’n’ cream.”
“That’s my favorite,” she said.
“So, we have that in common.”
“Yep. You like the same ice cream as a girl,” she said in a singsong voice that she’d used on her brother over and over again.
He laughed. Oh, wow, he needed to come home. She needed him around all the time.
“I should let you get back to sleep,” she said.
He sighed. “I guess I should let you hunt and gather.”
Then there was that awkward moment where she didn’t know what to say. How did you end a phone call with the guy you were crazy about, but you just met, and you weren’t sure he felt the same way?
“So, I should go,” she said and winced. “Maybe…”
“Uhh, yeah, I should go, too. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”
She ended the call and banged her phone against her head. Apparently the correct answer to that question is that you ended it stupidly—like you were strangers. Well, he hadn’t done much better, but that was expected with guys. If he’d been all smooth about it, she might not believe him. Oh, well…they’d figure it out, and in the meantime, they could either save on ice cream or she could buy two containers. She pulled out two cartons of cookies ’n’ cream.
Several people looked down as they passed her, completely avoiding eye contact. Putting ice cream in the cart always made her feel like she was racing a clock, so it took several aisles before their odd behavior caught her attention. The fourth person attempting to do that…okay, enough was enough, and she rammed their cart, head-on. This guy was way too old to be playing “hustle the newcomer” or this creepy Stepford Wife business.
“Hello, Ms. Hill, can I help you with something?” he asked, still not meeting her eyes, but smiling anyway.
“Ms. Hill?” she repeated, her mouth dropping open. Whoa.
“Oh, I suppose you’re still going by Hansen. Can I help you with something? Is everything okay with Jordan gone? I told him we’d keep an eye on you.”
“No, I’m fine.” This guy was in the pack? Forget Stepford Wives, this was Twilight Zone—for some reason, she’d pictured all the wolfmen looking like Jordan. It was a stretch to even picture Vanessa as being a wolfman, wolfperson…wolfwoman…whatever.
“You should try the spinach dip from the deli here. And my wife likes their roasted chicken. Maybe we could have you for dinner if Jordan isn’t back soon.”
She was a bit on edge from the previous night, so the first few things that occurred to her were straight out of horror fiction. “Have me for dinner or have me over for dinner?”
He blinked. In innocent confusion. Okay, clearly not going to kill her and wear her skin, but he still wasn’t meeting her
eyes.
“Never mind. So, I’m new to this whole thing…why are you acting like looking me in the eyes will make your face melt?” She spoke to older men all day. He was much easier to approach than the two women who’d done this.
Oh my hell, they were wolfpeople too!
He chuckled and glanced up, his eyes sparkling. “It’s called deference. It’s a sign of respect paid to the alpha male and female in the group. It’s so second nature that I sometimes forget it’s strange to those outside our culture. By the way, my name is Ethan, Ms. Hansen.”
“It’s Christa. Can I ask you to stop?”
He shook his head and looked down again. “Our pack needs to recognize leaders. Our strength is in that. Without leaders, we’re just a bunch of lone wolves without direction—easy prey to those who’d hunt us.”
“But that’s Jordan.” She was just…her.
“That’s both of you.”
She looked around. “But in a grocery store?” Ethan had to be kidding. She had just put a box of Froot Loops in her cart, and he had enough Campbell’s soup to feed a soup kitchen—this wasn’t city hall or at a business meeting. Besides, she was fragile. Not emotionally. Not mentally…despite what Dane might say. But physically, she had an iron grip on this shopping cart and was leaning on it like it was a walker.
“We may change forms, Christa, but our souls are the same. Out in the woods, at work, and even in a grocery store, we’re pack…and you’re the pack’s Alpha. Accept the deference as our allegiance to Jordan and his mate. If you imply you’re weak, it weakens him, and in turn, the entire pack.”
Her stomach felt sour even as her heart sped up. She liked the way being part of a pack sounded. She was part of something. Something bigger than just a work or study group—or even more disheartening, a support group. Well, this was a support group, without all the downer implications. It was creepy to have everyone avoiding her eyes, though. And they didn’t know her well enough to put her on this pedestal she’d be falling off of immediately.
“But I’m not better than you.” She had to say that—to start with that. He had to know that. They should all have really low expectations.
“No, you’re simply accepting your place in the hierarchy. Some choose to lead and some prefer to follow.” Ethan turned to look in back of him. “The wife is in the car and getting anxious. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get her some Nutter Butters.”
“Uhh, okay.” She pulled her cart to the side.
He nodded and said, “Try the spinach dip,” again as he passed.
She watched as he wound around the corner while whistling “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.” He didn’t look repressed. He looked like a guy anxious to get his wife some Nutter Butters, a guy who didn’t mind bowing his head to someone half his age who was leaning heavily on her cart. But this still felt wrong. Like she was faking her way into being something she wasn’t.
It was one thing for Jordan to be Alpha—hell, he’d be Alpha in her world, too. She wasn’t. Mexico was nice this time of year. If only she could drag Jordan there with her, away from this crazy, messed-up world where she was the new queen of the werewolves.
She pushed through the rest of her shopping, and apparently, she’d already met the shopping wolf clan population, because everyone else just gave her suspicious looks when she purposefully met their gaze.
After she’d packed everything in her car, she called Dane.
“Hey, fallen one,” he said.
“Dane, everyone kept bowing their head and avoiding eye contact in the grocery store. Apparently, since I’m with Jordan, I’m some special alpha chick.”
Dane laughed. Jerk. “Yeah, I’m trying to get used to that too. I’m thinking people at work will notice, so hopefully, Jordan gets back before I head back. As it is, I’m glad the…uhh…other people who work for the Forest Service are gone. Well, I’m glad one is gone. I sort of shot the other one.”
“What?”
“Nothing. So, you made it out of the house, huh? Good for you. I mean, heartbreaking for old guys everywhere, but good for you.”
“That’s another thing. This guy named Ethan called me Ms. Hill.”
“Ethan lacks a filter—which helps because, when I met Vanessa, I asked him all kinds of questions that no one else would answer.”
“Dane! He called me Ms. Hill!”
“I told you that you were as good as married.”
“You said as good as…not married. This is totally weird.”
He sighed. “Where are you?”
“In the parking lot of the grocery store.”
“Then you need to keep your voice down. Lycans have amazing hearing, and their ways of living and interacting are in them, buried deep in their psyche. Deference is instinctual. Vanessa says she’s fighting being submissive to me—which I find amusing, but she doesn’t really.”
Christa sighed and fell back against the seat. “I’m on day three of finding out that there is a whole different world inside my world. I think I’m allowed a little culture shock.”
“Yes, but watch what you say. Insubordination, weakness, and disrespect will affect how they see Jordan. And while this isn’t a volatile bunch anymore, and apparently, the only challenge for Alpha is me, he still needs their support. He still needs your support. You wanted this.”
She pulled back the phone to glare at it, but hadn’t Ethan more or less said the same thing? “I still want Jordan. I just didn’t know what all came along with him.” And what was expected of me.
“You want the human—you accept the wolf. You want your mate—you become pack. Jordan once told me, and don’t tell him that I’m quoting him, he once said I was acting like a part of Vanessa’s life wasn’t worthy of me, but it was that same part of her which made her want to give her life for mine. It made me realize that I was seeing those two parts as separate, but in Vanessa they were one and the same. Jordan is Lycan—he’s like king of the Lycans. He’s more Lycan than my wife. If you want Jordan, then you want to accept his world…and sooner rather than later, because I suspect there’s less of a learning curve allowed to an alpha female.”
She lowered her voice after glancing around. “But Dane, I’m not an alpha female.”
“Yes, you are—because Jordan chose you.”
Well, the scent-match did—and two shoes and a lamp. Jordan might not have wanted anything to do with her if not for that. He had given her reasons last night for her to forget fleeing to Mexico, and that sounded like more than the scent-match at work. He wanted her to stay—even if she’d had to force him to keep her in the first place. That had to mean something.
Dane cleared his throat. “But don’t get any ideas, because it’ll be a cold day in hell before I bow to you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll just ask Jordan to make you. That worked with Mom for years. ‘Mom, make Dane give me back my dolls.’”
He laughed. “I never took your dolls. Have a good day, Squeaky. Let me know if you get lost or need to be rescued.”
She made it back to Jordan’s without a single wrong turn. Hah! She could do this. When she got out of the car, she muttered, “I am Alpha! Hear me roar!”
And then she tripped on a rock and had to do some major acrobatic moves to avoid smearing herself across the ground.
Hopefully no one saw that.
Chapter Nine
“You look better,” Travis said as they sat in front of the computer.
It was hard to say which was more restorative, sleeping for a few hours or talking to Christa, but he was leaning toward the brief conversation with his mate. “I feel better.” He leaned forward and pointed at an area on the map. “This is where I found the blood, but like I said, there was a trail that wound all over.”
“Maybe it was an actual wolf’s prints you saw,” Travis said. “We have a pack living here, but they mostly stay out of our way. Though Alanna says their Alpha has made overtures toward her. He left a kill on her doorstep.”
“So
, you’re in contest with an actual furry, and so far, he’s made some headway, is what you’re saying?”
Travis just grinned. “Anyway, I’ve gone over the last five days of check-ins for our pack and none of them were in that area. We don’t patrol it because you have to go through areas we do monitor to get there.” He glanced at Jordan. “You couldn’t recognize the scent?”
He shook his head. “I don’t spend day in and day out breathing their scents. In fact, I don’t know most of the females, but the strongest scent—the scent that overrode anything else—was Colby’s blood…and death.”
“Maybe I should get everyone together so you can compare—and sniff a bunch of our females.”
Jordan stared at the screen. There was really no help for it. It made sense, but it felt wrong now. “Maybe we should get them together and ask them to leave an article of clothing with me—for comparison.” He really didn’t want to commit to memory a bunch of different female Lycan scents. If he closed his eyes, he could bring to mind Christa’s scent immediately, and he liked it that way. He’d gone to sleep with that scent on his mind and actually been able to sleep. Sniffing any other females sounded…vile.
Travis shook his head and leaned back in the computer chair. “Unbelievable. This is what the scent-match does? You’ve got no desire to meet the female pack members? One of them is even in heat.”
Jordan barely restrained a shudder. Last spring had been much easier when all the attached females had gone into heat around him, and he hadn’t felt any drive to choose someone to procreate with. Now he prayed that drive was gone, because he was no longer available. With any luck, Alanna had spread word that he wasn’t looking for an alpha female. “No, I really don’t. I know a few of them, but I think you’ve got a lot more that I don’t know.”
“Yeah, they just showed up when word spread that this pack was all unmated. I keep expecting some of them to start pairing off, but the females are treating each fertile cycle like it’s a round of The Bachelorette where no one wins. Maybe this spring will change that…I hope it will, or I really will drag your brother here.”
This Weakness For You (Entangled Select Otherworld) (Taming the Pack) Page 13