He removed his mouth from her tits just long enough to pull off his own shirt and help her get the leggings and shorts off. She’d gone without underwear underneath, and fuck it all but that was the hottest shit he’d ever seen, her round ass, her full hips, her strong and fit thighs, all his.
Then his mouth was back on her tits, abrading her with his beard, knowing she loved the texture when her moan shivered through her. Her hands were playing in his hair once more, letting the tie go that he used to hold it back during a ride, but what drew a vibrating groan and a whole body shake from the almost always unflappable Lee was that as soon as he’d started playing with those tits again, she’d taken his dick in hand and quick as a fucking whip, he was inside her.
And then she was the giver.
The giver of her body.
The giver of sighs and small laughs.
The giver of deep, clawing scratches along his scalp and back.
The giver of tugs on his hair as she gave it all and took everything she’d needed.
And that was something he realized as he increased his rhythm, feeling every inch of her, making her feel every inch of him…
A person could give everything, but until it was truly accepted, it felt like something had been taken…
With Kit taking it all above him and giving her all in return, his giving didn’t feel like a loss anymore.
No…not a loss at all...
In this moment of hard. Fast. Messy. Sweaty. Grunting. Beautiful fucking love making…
In this moment of coming together, he felt like he was on top of the goddamned world.
Like he’d won the fucking lottery.
Like all his giving was being returned and brandished into something new.
And he didn’t fucking care that it was Kit who was making him new, because as he teased her tit with his mouth, his eyes opened on a groan while he fucked her harder and harder and she met him thrust for thrust, and when his gaze met hers, her pupils expanded and she closed her eyes as the most beautiful sounds came from her mouth.
All he heard were the sounds of her orgasm.
All he felt was the pulsing of her cunt around his dick.
All he smelled was the mingling of the two of them.
All he tasted was her skin, her sweat, her own unique flavors.
All he saw was the back of his own eyelids as his body lost complete control of the gift it had been given and he too came.
Hard. Long. Fucking perfect.
He fell back and Kit went with him, her tits meeting his chest, the friction pulling yet another small groan from his lips.
“Fuck, Kitten, you’ll be the end of me,” he said and felt her breathing still.
She sat up slowly, and he heard little warning bells in his brain, so before she could pull away for real, he forced himself to open his eyes and put his hands on her hips.
She was looking at him, but she also wasn’t.
Her eyes spoke such volumes, and instead of post-sex bliss, she was lost in moments of pain.
“Kit,” he whispered. “Kitten.”
She seemed to snap out of whatever memory she’d been lost in, and her hands on his chest curled into claws, but her expression wasn’t one of anger.
“I’m not her anymore, Lee.” Her eyes were serious once again. “I’m not Summer.” And then she continued. “You can dress it up anyway you like, tell yourself I’ll be her again, say the sex we just had was the most amazing fucking sex ever and that must mean there’s a kitten inside of me somewhere, but—”
He’d had just about enough of this.
He sat up, his legs splayed, and he pulled her up with him, his dick sliding from her body but her hips still meeting his, and he put his hand over her mouth.
She licked his hand, but he’d already interrupted.
“I didn’t call you Kitten because I’m asking you to be Summer, Kit.” His hand went to her jaw as he moved in to kiss her forehead. He needed to do something, to show her he cared for her, not just for the girl she’d once been…but this was Kit.
She didn’t do forehead kisses.
She needed real proof that he saw her. The real her. He couldn’t show her now. But he could tell her.
“I called you Kitten,” he said, a chuckle escaping, “because you fucking clawed me up good, babe.” She looked at his back and abs and scalp as he turned slightly each way for her. Her answering smile was slow coming. “And because to me, you’re not just soft. The girl I once knew is in there.” The smile she’d started showing disappeared and Kit tried to break away but he held on tighter, and strong as she was now, he knew she didn’t really want to escape because she was Kit and Kit always found a way. “No, she is. But I don’t mean the one who made mistakes and ended up losing a friend.”
She again tried to interrupt, but he spoke over her protests. “I don’t mean the girl who lost so much of her innocence is in there. Although to some degree, you wouldn’t be Kit without Summer.” She settled a bit at that statement and he could tell by the slight narrowing of her eyes and the hardening of her jaw that she couldn’t really disagree with that. “What I mean is that Summer Markham wasn’t just young and prone to impetuous mistakes. You...no matter where you’ve been or who you’ve chosen to be…”
He pulled her closer, and her blonde hair was like a curtain around them. He smelled the both of them in that curtain and he groaned as he took her mouth once again, biting at her lips, tonguing her mouth and licking and tasting all the flavors of this goddamned gorgeous woman.
“You’ve always been strong-tempered, passionate, a bit of a hellcat even when you were seventeen and testing the rebellious waters on the back of my bike…”
He pulled back after a minute and seeing the sexy haze there in her gaze was making him hard again. Jesus, she really would be the end of him. He let her feel that he was getting hard, slowly sinking himself up into her again, and her arms went around him, the underside of her upper arms resting on his shoulders and her tits so close to his mouth, he couldn’t help but take another couple licks and nips. Fuck but she really did have the most perfect tits. He took a deep breath and moved up into her, up and down, conquering then retreating, fucking her slowly this time, but still it was like pure, bloody, heaven.
“You’re you no matter what. And I love everything that is you, but I especially love the you that you are now…” His dick hit a spot inside of her. Hard. He emphasized each of his next words with a hard, deep, but still rhythmically slow, fuck. “Fiery. Passionate. Tough. As. Goddamned. Nails. And,” he continued, thrusting, over and over, never increasing his steadily slow, hard pace, “the fucking second of a badass military veteran motorcycle club.” He felt when her world came to a halt, when his hard work was rewarded, when he’d given her enough to get all of her. “Jesus, Kitten, give me those claws,” he said, and her red nails dug into his back, while with one last hard thrust, he came as well. His labored breaths slowed, and he pulled her sweaty body as close as he could to whisper in her ear, “And that’s why, I know the truth. You’re Kit… Kitten…a hellcat who can take care of her fucking self, but who’s got enough softness left to let me give.”
He kissed her hard, ending the claim with a bite to her lip. Her moan only sweetened the deal.
She took over, kissing him hard as they both fell back onto the blanket.
He felt the wet from her cheeks, but he didn’t say anything, because fuck it all, he wasn’t his brother, but still he felt every goddamned tear she cried—few though they were.
She was nodding as she lifted her head, her cheeks only slightly wet, a little of the soft that he knew would really fan the flames of her strength higher.
“Okay, Lee, but I’m going to give now too,” was all she said before laying her face against his chest.
They slept for a bit, the rays of a late afternoon summer afternoon sun warming the ground around them and keeping their bodies from becoming cold.
When he awoke again, he heard the soft snore
s from Kit and he pulled her closer. Tighter.
His smile grew as she snuggled into him.
And although he felt the shiver of anxiety starting its churning in his gut, he ignored the feeling.
The tide was coming, but Kit wasn’t a summer flower moving with the path of the wind, easily crushed by the roaring of the sea.
Blackmailers or not, she’d always been stronger.
She’d been built that way, shaped by circumstance into the strong female he held in his arms.
And fuck it all, but he’d show her he understood that.
Because now that he’d had Kit, he wasn’t ever fucking letting her go.
Backlash
They’d had sex.
Jesus. Even just over an hour later on the back of his bike, she could still feel him inside of her like he was the layers beneath her skin she’d been trying to hide from everyone for so long.
As they stopped outside the Rodeo Room, though, other thoughts eclipsed the bliss she felt.
Kit had wondered; she’d have been stupid not to. She’d thought about who’d have known all the details of those thirty hours. Not many did. Just their commander, a few uniforms, a couple psychologists, and those who’d actually been there.
So, as much as she hated herself, she still wondered, but as she hopped off Lee’s bike, and walked toward Casper, she felt her skin crawling and the burning acid of her guilt as she realized her mistake.
How Casper knew her thoughts, she had no clue, but Casper had this way about him. He was the king of intel, knew goddamned well every secret any of them had. She didn’t know how. No one talked with him but her, Eagle, Stealth, and Hammond. The others sort of thought he was an asshole. Well, he was. But only because he spoke his mind, said shit others wouldn’t, asked the questions that needed to be asked.
He knew things about others, had information others never managed, which was why the past few days she’d thought more than once that he might be behind the blackmailing.
And still, her gut told her it wasn’t him. He’d been too sincere, too invested in her growth this past decade to have done these things.
Instead of censure, though, Casper smiled.
“You’d be stupid not to think of me, Kit.” Casper ignored Lee’s presence and put a hand on her upper arm. She didn’t return the gesture. Not yet. “And I hate to remind you, Kit, but you haven’t been stupid for ten longs years, have ya’?”
It was the question that solidified it in her mind, that let her know she’d been right to think he might have been the one to send the letter but also that he was not the one who’d done it.
Was she not second herself and been taught by the best, first by Casper when they’d served together, then by other good men and women in the service, and finally by Eagle himself, Casper might have made a good right hand to their Prez. As it was, the job of second felt like a birthright to her, a blood calling that she knew none of them not only didn’t want, but that they wouldn’t even try to take from her.
It was only then that she returned the shoulder squeeze, looked him in the eye, and said, “No, I’m not stupid anymore, Casper. Just a little sick that I think shit like that as if it’s second nature.”
“Yeah, Kit,” was all he said as he backed away. But his gaze was troubled in a way she hadn’t ever seen, and a tingle went through her spine.
“You get one too?” she asked Casper.
Lee moved into her side, pulling her close, and she did the same, both of them touching the other’s hip in tandem.
Her question seemed to jar Casper from whatever thoughts he’d fallen into, and he looked up, a cocky grin replacing the lost look. “See you two finally fucked,” he commented, taking a pull of the non-alcoholic beer in his hand.
She didn’t take the bait.
That didn’t mean Lee didn’t, though.
“Shut the hell—”
She stepped in front of Lee and repeated her question, and Casper’s gaze became more hooded before he nodded.
“What’d it say?”
He shook his head and in those deep green eyes, she saw not the detached soldier she’d met ten years earlier. Instead she saw herself as she’d been—vulnerable, unaware of the world that was war. Casper would never truly be naïve again, but she knew he felt responsible for what had happened ten years ago, much like they all did. But between what had happened with Kit herself and Hammond and the fact that Rena, who he’d had a relationship with at the time, had been shot and he hadn’t been able to do a damn thing about it…
“Casper, you can’t keep shit like this—”
His hand went up to silence her, and although her back would normally get up at such a gesture, she resisted the urge to throw a middle finger his way and start clawing at the autocratic movement.
“I will, Kit,” was all he said. “But it’ll mean something different to you than anyone else.” His eyes pleaded with her in a way that was so out of character for him that it knocked the wind out of her sails entirely. He didn’t let others see this side of him. Hell, she’d rarely had the chance to see him like this, and between three deployments together and their shared history, she’d seen a lot of him. “No one else other than you, me, and Ham got a letter,” he added as he started to walk back inside.
Kit followed closely behind him, feeling a new fire kindle in her belly as she stepped into the Rodeo Room.
Casper turned slightly as he made his way to the bar. He nodded his head at Freddy, the fill-in bartender, popped the top off another O’Doul’s, and followed Kit and Lee to the back room.
“We’ll talk,” Casper said quietly as he opened the door to the meeting, and then louder, “But I’m glad you had a good fucking, Kit.” And then Casper was across the room as Lee landed a good punch.
Kit couldn’t help the small smile that played at her lips, but she bit her cheek and stopped herself from laughing outright. And while Casper recovered, a genuine smirk on his face that said he’d been waiting for that shit to come for him, Kit stepped toward Lee.
Lee had gotten his hit in. He’d played it quiet before this. He’d not said shit. Hell, she’d heard Casper jeer him before today, and still he’d not said a thing.
So, instead of commenting on his loss of temper, she pulled him to her as he went to grab his seat, and she kissed him hard. When she made a move to pull away, he pulled her close again, kissing her harder if it was possible, and she felt that moment like a firework exploding along her nerves. Ah, fire. That she understood. She loved to play with fire.
She scratched at his scruff and then disengaged her body from his so they could take their places around the table.
“Kit,” Eagle said as she took her place beside him. There was so much in the one voicing of her name. Love. Pride. Fear for her. But also just plain friendship. He understood what it was to lose all innocence and return home, unable to take anything back that had been yours. His hand on her shoulder was everything else that needed to be said. She looked up at him for a second, putting her own hand on top of his, and then his hand was gone, and they were discussing plans.
The blackmailers had contacted three of their core group—Kit, Hammond, and Casper—escalating their normal pattern of one individual or family at a time. They’d also changed up their typical pattern by naming the sin and demanding the money in the first letter.
She’d have thought the letter sent to her apartment would be enough, but no, the blackmailer seemed to be focused on Hammond, Kit, and Casper.
A fact that made her uneasy as to why they appeared to be the newest targets.
The day before, her father had called and let Kit and Lee know Autumn had received a letter as well.
Hammond’s letter.
It was one thing to have Casper and Hammond and even Lee know. It was another thing entirely to know your parents were aware of your most shameful moment.
“Dad, no one knew. I wanted it that way, so did Hammond.” She exhaled and then inhaled deeply. “How do you share so
mething like that? How could I tell you all what I…what I did?”
But just like Lee, her father knew the right words. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered across the line.
There was silence for a beat and then her father had said only two other things: “You can talk with your sister tomorrow night. Your mom wants everyone at the house.” And then, “You coming to the store tomorrow morning to work?”
Kit had gone to work that morning. But tonight, she’d be talking to Autumn.
And if the thought of talking with Autumn scared her more than the blackmailer, well then, she’d accept the truth of that.
She and the others might have been afraid of the blackmailers’ request for money or that their secret would get out. They might have feared the humiliation.
But Kit had already dealt with the worst of her humiliation and so the blackmailers didn’t have any further hold on her.
It was her next confrontation with Autumn that worried her now. Would it be worse to see the forgiving look on her kind sister’s face or to have someone as good as Autumn look at her as though she’d destroyed everything?
She stared at the knotted wood in the table and tried to focus, but without anything else to add, the club meeting ended fairly quickly.
Kit squared her shoulders, ashamed she’d missed whatever had been discussed when her mind was wandering.
“Rover, Beast, and Stealth.” Eagle called out their names in staccato. “I’d like you to go over the other interviews you’ve completed with the families this past week tonight. You can have the barroom office. Danger and Renegade, I’ve called the two families who paid the most recent blackmail amount, and I’d like you both to meet me at the Cain family home first, in a half hour. Between these families and the past interviews, there might be a connection we’re missing.”
All four nodded, grabbed their gear, and headed out leaving Lee, Casper, and Kit to follow Eagle’s next directive.
“All right,” Eagle continued, sitting back down. “The next piece is for just this room. These last three letters are more personal, the blackmail letters seemed to jump the typical timeline, and Kit, Casper, and Hammond were targeted way more harshly than the other victims.” He turned to Kit. “I know the story, the whole fragmented history, and with the level of detail they know, it’s not something you can pick up by looking at employment records and finding out a woman stripped while her husband was away. It’s also not something you can ask the neighbors about in order to find out if a spouse cheated while the wife or husband was away serving.” Kit nodded and glanced across the table at Casper, because she’d been wondering the same thing. “There’s one other person not in this room, and I’ve got to know if she’s capable of this—”
A Terrible Beauty Page 7