“I’ll have a ton of wine waiting for you when you get back. I have to go. Keep me updated.”
“Okay. Just know I hate you forever for lying.”
“Yeah, you’ll get over it.”
The line clicked. He was right. I would get over it. It wasn’t close to the worst thing that had happened to me the past year. Sadly, it was actually one of the nicer things anyone had done for me in a while. I didn’t have a clue what to do. The engagement party was tonight, and my paid-date was mad at me for paying for him, my mom would kill me if I didn’t show and ridicule me if I were alone. I didn’t want to have to deal with any of this anymore.
Maybe I was wrong to come here. Did I really care that much about my parents approval? I was an adult now. I can make all my own decisions. I should have just stood up for myself. My mom could have dealt with me not coming here. Why would she want me to come? Having been left before, she should know how bad it hurts to see Tom. It makes it even worse that he is with another person, and he is having the time of his life.
I had had enough. I didn’t care what my parents would say, I’d take them yelling at me. I grabbed a towel and put on my swim suit. If I was going to have to be held hostage here in Santa Barbra, then I was going to swim. I wiped both of my cheeks to get rid of the tears and put on the suit I had packed. I still felt weird wearing a one piece, but I had felt a little self esteem boost from last night. I wondered if I was really as good looking as everyone had said. I would have to see the reaction tonight when I didn’t choose the skimpiest dress I owned.
I put on some of the sun screen. It smelled like a pina colada and I wanted one so bad. I was avoiding going downstairs still. It was probably best to let Grant deal with his anger in his own way and just come back upstairs when he blew off some steam. I called room service again. They were going to have my face and room number memorized. I put an order for two pina coladas in, extra strong.
While I waited, I paced the room. Tonight was the engagement. Tonight. I had to do so much in so little time. Swimming was not realistic. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to think about all the things I had to do to get ready. I didn’t want to think about having to apologize to Grant. I was in the wrong for giving him the money, but at the same time this was the most intense and confusing thing that has ever happened to me.
I drank the drinks when they came up and watched some more TV. I had to work up the courage to walk through the lobby. It was going to take all my effort and mental capacity to stay calm and look like I had the perfect life that I had painted for everyone last night. The alcohol helped give me that extra push I needed. I put normal clothes on over my swim suit, just in case I needed to do not fun things instead of not caring. I went out of the room and walked past the elevator and to the stairs. I knew I was going to regret this the next day. I started walking down the steps, hoping this would be a good enough work out for the month.
18
Grant
I was mad. Mostly at myself. I had never yelled at a client before, and maybe that is because I didn’t think of April as one. I walked to the bar, jacket held tight in my hands. The staff greeted me with a smile and I tossed the card down.
“Mimosa, please. Keep them coming.”
This is what breakfast looks like when your day needs an extra kick to keep up with you.
The more I thought about it, the madder I became at myself. It wasn’t April’s fault. She didn’t know. If I had been in her situation I probably would have been more confused than ever. She didn’t deserve to get yelled at. I did. I made it unprofessional, and I fell for my client. I had sworn before that that would never happen. I had never expected to have a woman like April, though. There had to be some way that I could patch this up. I downed the mimosa and rested my head in my hands.
“Tough morning?” One of the bartenders asked. He was shinning a glass with a rag, just like the stereotypical image that every TV show and movie used. I had to laugh.
“I couldn’t begin to explain it even if I wanted to.”
He nodded back at me. An order on the phone came and he started to make two pina coladas. They looked so nice, though it was a bit early in the day. I budgeted more calories in my diet for trips, so it wasn’t the worst idea, just a bad one.
“I’ll have one of those, too.”
The bartender smiled and sent me one over. It was thick and luscious, served in a pineapple. I raised my glass to him and drank. It woke up the part of my mind that was still asleep.
“I don’t know what’s going on, so maybe this doesn’t apply, but I don’t think you should let your vacation here be spoiled. It’s so lovely outside and there is so much to enjoy. When you remember this place, are you going to want to remember the bad times or all the good?”
Bartenders have a way of looking into your soul and seeing your desires and fears. He was right about not spoiling the vacation. Even if it was ruined between April and I, I could still enjoy the weather and these drinks. “That’s excellent advice.” I drank more of the pineapple. “Normally, I’m the one who fixes problems for a living. It’s nice to have someone else for a change.”
“Are you a doctor?” He said. “Like, a therapist or something?”
“Something like that.” Some people considered sex therapy. Those people were called sex addicts, and they were some of my best clients. I checked my watch. It was eleven. There was still enough time to enjoy the day.
Finishing the pina coladas, I ordered another mimosa. The champagne bubbles and orange juice were just what I needed. I turned in my chair, surveying the room. I saw some people getting breakfast from the party last night. I hadn’t recognized most of them, I only talked to the people that April had known. Entering the lobby as I looked was Tom. I avoided eye contact. If there was one thing that this morning did not need heaped onto it, it was an interaction with that guy.
“Hey,” I said to the bartender. “You see that guy over there in the brown button up?” The bartender nodded. “What is he doing?”
“Well, he is looking around. Okay, he is looking at you. He is staring at you. He is starting to walk over here.”
“Shit.” I raised my glass to him. “Good luck to both of us, then.” I downed the drink and felt a hand on my left shoulder.
“Hey, buddy.”
“Oh, hey Tom. How are things going today?”
His eyes were bloodshot and heavy with baggage. “Great.”
“Ready for today’s adventures?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He ordered a rum and coke. I decided he might have had a worse start to this morning than I had. “How does a man like yourself get away with a weekend from work?”
“Great employees.”
Tom smiled weakly back at me. “What do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I own a hedge fund.”
He let out a soft whistle. “How did you get that gig? Help from your parents?” I could see doubt in his eyes. I took out my wallet, fishing for a business card.
“I started as a day trader and worked my way up. I am pretty good with it, and so I figured I would let other people get a chance to practice their own skills.” I handed the card to it, and he held it from the corners like a photograph or item for a museum. I wondered if I should have waited for him to put gloves on first.
He slid the card into his pocket. “So you’re good with finances then?”
“It’s my job.” That part was true.
“I have to be honest, I’m not having the best luck.” I looked around at the lavish hotel. This wedding was a huge expense. His parents must have been paying for it. I could imagine them both happily writing out a big check for their turd of a son for getting married. “I don’t actually know how I am going to get a house after all this.” He swirled his finger in the air. A man like him, I would have assumed he already had a house.
“I just thought that anyone who worked for Google would be given a crown and a thrown in a palace somewhere.” I kid back.<
br />
He chuckled and took a drink. “You would think so. Google is actually…” he stopped talking. He shook his head and took several large gulps.
“Are they suffering?”
“Far from it. I just might be. They don’t seem to be too thrilled with me.” He shrugged. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. He looked up at me and then back down at his drink. He picked at his fingers. He and April had the same nervous habit.
“I have a trustworthy face.”
“That must be it.”
“Sorry to hear about your situation.”
He waved his hand as he finished the last of his drink. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s not talk about it. How are things with April?”
“Oh, fantastic. I was actually looking at the wedding packages here.” I wasn’t the type of person who normally kicked someone when he was down, but I wanted to do this for her. It would be a nice way of saying I’m sorry and for him to feel miserable for giving up a great girl. He cringed a little when I said the word wedding. I wasn’t sure if they were harsh feelings towards marriage or towards me being with his ex. “She is doing really well. She has had several articles published and she is working on a series right now for the Huffington Post.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish. Then I would have more time with her.” He nodded at me, eyes wide with surprise.
“Yeah, they still have to see whether they want to finish this project or move on to a new one. This one might be losing its edge, according to April, but I wouldn’t know. It’s top secret so I haven’t read it. She always wants my opinions on writing, too, so this is a little hard for me.”
His jaw was clenching and unclenching. He ordered another drink. This one was without the mixer.
“The strangest part is how humble she is about it. I am so proud of her. I want to carry her through every room like a prize that I’ve won. I can’t believe she likes someone as boring as a day trader.”
“Sounds like it’s going well, then.”
“It’s going better than ever. You’re going to have to keep this between you and me, but she could be the one. I don’t think this wedding place is for us, but when I find the right one, that’s when I’ll have to pop the question.”
“Relationship is going well, then?”
“I have never met anyone that I am more in sync with than April. She is so kind and gentle and has this adorable quirky way of doing everything. She is funny and sweet and has this energy about her.” The bartender asked me if I would like another drink. I declined. I shouldn’t have yelled at her. Maybe I wouldn’t have if I wasn’t nursing a small headache. I didn’t need anymore to drink. “Her skin is so soft and her smile. Her smile is the brightest thing in the room.” I looked over at Tom and he looked back, blank expression on his face. “Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to.”
“It’s fine. She really is something.”
I could tell by the way he said it he was conflicted. This was April’s dream, to get Tom back. I didn’t want to get in the way of making her happy. I didn’t want him to get in the way of me being happy, either. All the things I had said about April were true, and I did really feel that way. I wasn’t ready to get married, by any means, but she is the type of person that I imagined a wedding with as soon as I met her. I was crushing hard. If the bartender wanted me to have a good time, I was going to have a good time. I nodded back at him. “How about this girl of yours? Wife material, apparently.”
He finished his second drink and looked at me. “Very much so. She’s something else.”
“She is beautiful.” I didn’t feel bad for rubbing it in his face, but I could tell that he was starting to. “You two seemed really happy together last night.”
“I wish it was like that every night.” He seemed tired still. I wondered if they had fought too.
“Weddings can be stressful. I’m sure you two will spring back when this is all over.” I ordered a drink of water. It was cool and soothed my throat. I had been doing an awful lot of drinking and not a lot of hydrating. It’s what my body had needed. I felt relief as soon as I took a drink. My hangover began to subside and I felt much better.
Tom ordered another drink. He had time until the party tonight, so hopefully he would sober up by then. He swayed in his chair. I could see what he and April had in common, but I could also see how different they were.
“What was April like when you guys were in college?”
He laughed.
“Between you and me, high strung. Type A personality. She had everything figured out and would finish her projects weeks in advance. She didn’t really have too many friends, at least not after a while. We kind of became hermits and hung out mostly with each other.”
“Ah. Did you know Travis?”
His eyes perked up. “I love Travis.”
“Travis is the reason why we met. I’m actually from Las Vegas.”
“I wondered why your card said that.”
“Yeah. April and I sort of bumped heads at first, but the more I see her the more I love her.” I couldn’t believe I said those words. It had been too little of time to tell if I actually loved her, or so I thought. I didn’t know much about love. I had never been in love before. What I felt for April, though, was a stronger crush than any I have had on any other woman.
“Well, I’m glad she found someone as great as you. Now maybe my parents will stop making puppy dog eyes at me and bringing her up in front of Chelsea. It’s getting obnoxious. They really liked her and never really let her go.”
April peered into the room, two empty glasses in her hands. She was swaying a little as she walked, in a very cat like manner. She walked over to us and fixed her hair countless times before she reached the bar. She looked like her heart had dropped. When she noticed me looking at her she raised her nose in the air. She stuck the two drinks down on the counter.
“Hey, you.” I said, grabbing her waist and pulling her towards me. She smelled like coconut. I could see her swim suit straps underneath the dress she was wearing. She smiled and looked less tense when I grabbed her, so I kissed her on the cheek too. She blushed and straightened her dress.
“Hello, Tom.”
“You look nice today, April.” She had had her hair up in a messy bun and was makeup less but I agreed with him whole-heartedly. She had a natural beauty about her.
“Thank you, Tom.” She kissed me back and I could smell the pina coladas on her breath. I ordered her a glass of water, making sure that she had the same relief I did. I put the little card the manager had given me back in my pocket. I’m sure we could make use of it later tonight.
“I was just telling Tom here about your work with the Huffington Post.” Her eyebrows raised up. I knew she was a bad actress, so I did the talking. “I told him about how it was secret, though. Seriously, Tom, I haven’t even read any of it.”
“I’m sure it will be great.” Tom looked between me and April. Instead of anger or jealously I saw something else in his eyes. He looked relieved. It seemed that he no longer actually wanted April. I wondered if there was something about her that made him call off the wedding, something that I hadn’t noticed yet. In my eyes she was perfect.
After seeing April, I no longer felt mad at her. I don’t know if she still only thought of me as an escort, but I saw that she had felt bad for it before and would stop treating me like one. That was all I asked. If she didn’t want to be with me, that was fine, but I didn’t want to be led around and led on. It would hurt much worse with her than the others. I didn’t mind being a toy to the others, but with her I wanted to be a person.
I wanted her to know that I wasn’t mad anymore. I didn’t have harsh feelings about this morning towards her, but it did sting. I couldn’t tell if she thought I was acting or not. I liked it that way. That way she made the choice for how our relationship was going to continue forward.
“I should probably be going.” I could tell Tom had felt uncomfortable around Apr
il, and April felt the same way back. It would be strange to go to your ex’s wedding. Especially when they weren’t on mutual terms. Tom put a tip on the counter for the bar keeper. “Thanks for talking to me, Grant. I’ll be seeing you, April.”
“Bye, Tom.” When he left he did look over his shoulder at her, twice. Both times he had been struck with a confused expression. I could see him teetering back and forth between wanting her and wanting nothing to do with her. I didn’t mind. The more envious he was, the more my job was completed.
April sat where he was sitting at the bar. She was silent and not making eye contact with me. I couldn’t read her right now.
“Is that a swim suit I see?”
“Yeah.” She picked at her nails.
“That’s a great idea. Mind if I join you?”
“You have your swim suit on?”
“No, but it wouldn’t be hard to put it on.”
“I guess that’s fine.” She was being a little cold, but I could now see it was a front. She had felt bad about the fight too. It was obvious to me. I knew this was a stressful and confusing situation. Maybe swimming would be the relief we needed.
“How about I meet you out there then?”
“That would be fine.” She picked up her towel and put her glasses down on her face, beginning to walk outside.
When I got out there, I had a hard time finding her. She was about shoulder deep in the waves, bobbing up and down as they crashed over and against her. They would push her towards shore, and she would swim back out, fighting against them. I joined her, showing her how to be caught in a wave, riding the top of it. She laughed a lot. She was becoming more and more relaxed and I was too.
The bridges of our noses began to burn red and she walked on the beach as I swam against the current for a while. The exercise helped take my mind off the morning. It made me feel strong, and although I was accomplishing nothing by beating against the waves, it made me feel like I had more energy than I had used. I felt powerful. I loved to test my strength, especially in nature.
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