Third, behave your way into the person you want to be. Behavior is not only the outgrowth of motive and agenda; it is also an important tool in improving intent. For example, if you’re not now a person who cares much about others—but you have the desire to be—then act on that desire. Behave in caring ways. Do caring things. In the doing—with desire—we are re-created better than we were.
2. Declare Your Intent
A leader once asked me how he could properly communicate his company’s strengths and results to prospective clients without coming across as being arrogant and bragging and turning them off in the process (which had been a problem). I told him, “Declare your intent. Let your clients know why you’re sharing your strengths and results—that it’s not to build yourself up; it’s to gain their confidence that you have the abilities and track record to serve them well.”
Declaring your intent and expressing your agenda and motives can be very powerful, particularly if your behavior is being misinterpreted or misconstrued by others. It’s also valuable as a means of establishing trust in new relationships.
Doug Conant, former CEO of Campbell Soup Company, told me that within the first hour of working with new coworkers or other business partners, he lets them know how he operates so that people can know what to expect. He tells them explicitly that his agenda includes building trust with them, and that he wants them to gain trust in him as they see him do what he says he will do. Additionally, Doug finds that declaring his intent not only builds trust, it also puts more accountability on him to be true to what he’s said.
The main reason why declaring intent increases trust is that it “signals your behavior”—it lets people know what to look for so that they can recognize, understand, and acknowledge it when they see it. Their response, then, is much like what happens when someone buys a new car and then suddenly starts noticing the same kind of car everywhere on the road. It’s not that there are suddenly more of those cars on the road; it’s that their awareness is enhanced.
One watch-out in declaring intent is to always be sure that you’re being honest and real about it. To do otherwise is to come across as duplicitous and deplete trust. You also want to ensure that your intent is not merely self-serving. The very process of considering how to declare your intent will help you improve it.
3. Choose Abundance
Abundance means that there is enough for everybody. The opposite—scarcity—says that there is only so much to go around, and if you get it, I won’t. While scarcity may be a reality in some areas (such as competitive sports or forced grading curves), in most of the important things in life—such as love, success, energy, results, and trust—abundance is not only a reality, it is an attractor and generator of even more.
According to former New York University economist Paul Zane Pilzer, “economic alchemy” is derived from principles of abundance—not scarcity—and technology has liberated us from the zero-sum game of traditional economics into the new world of unlimited abundance.
The important thing to understand is this: Abundance is a choice!
I am personally convinced that, regardless of our economic status, abundance is a choice that each of us can make. It is not the exclusive domain of the well-to-do. I know wealthy individuals who are extremely scarcity-minded and much less fortunate people who are very abundance-minded.
The measure of your life will not be in what you accumulate, but in what you give away.
—DR. WAYNE DYER, AUTHOR, THE POWER OF INTENTION
In the previous chapter, I told you how Jon Huntsman Sr. (founder of Huntsman Chemical) kept his word on a handshake deal, even though it cost him millions of dollars. Huntsman, who passed away in 2018, was one of the most abundant and philanthropic people in the world. He was also one of the wealthiest people in the world (worth over $1.2 billion at the time of his passing even after having given away most of his money). But interestingly, he decided to be abundant and to share significantly with others when he was poor. Perhaps one of the reasons for his success was his decision—and behavior—to be abundant, even when he didn’t have any economic reason to be. While Jon Huntsman Sr. was still alive, his son Peter, who now runs Huntsman Chemical, said of him, “Our whole goal is to make money faster than Dad can give it away.”
Abundance is a mind-set, a way of being and becoming. It is also a foundational element of improving intent, which will make us more credible—believable—with others.
So how do you create abundance?
First—as with the other accelerators in this chapter—I suggest that you examine your current thinking. Ask yourself:
• When I’m in the middle of a negotiation, do I really believe it’s possible to come up with a solution that will provide benefit for us both—or deep down, do I believe that the other person can gain benefit only at my expense?
• When I’m in a meeting and ideas are being tossed around, do I really believe there’s enough credit and recognition for everyone—or do I feel like someone is going to get it, and I want to make sure that someone is me?
• Do I believe that if I love other people, my own supply of love will be replenished—or diminished?
• Do I believe that there’s room for other people to see things differently than I do . . . and still be right?
• Do I believe that, whatever my economic circumstances, I can share with and benefit others?
Questions such as these will help you explore whether you currently have an abundance or a scarcity mind-set. To whatever degree you do have scarcity thinking, recognizing it is the first step toward creating a mind-set of abundance.
Once again, great role models will help. Some excellent role models seem to come by abundance naturally. Mother Teresa devoted her entire life to lifting the less fortunate. Bill and Melinda Gates and Warren Buffett created “The Giving Pledge” as an open invitation to billionaires to publicly declare their intent to give away the majority of their wealth to philanthropy in their lifetimes or at death. So far 175 have signed the pledge. In our own neighborhoods, many schoolteachers elevate the lives of our children through their skill, dedication, and belief in their students. And community volunteers give their time and energy to create and sustain literacy centers, youth sports programs, senior citizens events, and other projects that benefit many.
Some role models show us clearly that whatever our past experience—even if it includes a painful and unfair childhood—we can rescript ourselves to create abundance in our lives and in the lives of others. Consider Oprah Winfrey, who was raised in rural Mississippi by her grandparents and abused by a relative as a youth. She chose to reframe her circumstances and rise above them. As she put it:
I don’t think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.
From her first media job where she earned $100 a week, Oprah created abundance for herself and for others, and she has become one of the wealthiest, most influential, and most generous people of our time. Her generosity is evidenced by her support of causes and charities too numerous to mention, including her personal service in South Africa. Years ago—despite a temporary drop in ratings—Oprah transformed the very nature of her show from a generic “talk show” into one that makes an enormous positive difference. A few years ago, after wrestling with whether to continue her show, she ended a particularly inspiring show with the comment, “Now that is worth staying on the air for.”
As noted psychologist and author Dr. Laura Schlessinger observes in her book Bad Childhood—Good Life: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood:
You should not be satisfied with being a victim, nor with being a survivor. You should aim to be a conqueror. There is an extraordinary quality of spirit that leads one to aspire to conquering rather than surviving. I hope you discover that spirit in yourself.
Role models, insightful thought leaders, and practitioners such as these ser
ve as powerful reminders that we can do something about even the very deep, personal, character-based issues that impact our credibility. And remember, credibility is the prerequisite for trust.
We can increase our integrity. We can improve our intent. And we can likely do it faster than we imagine.
CORE 3—CAPABILITIES
ARE YOU RELEVANT?
[People] of capability inspire us.
—SAMAVEDA (SACRED HINDU TEXT)
In this chapter, we move from the cores of credibility that focus on character to those that focus on competence. The first dimension of competence is capabilities—the talents, skills, knowledge, capacities, and abilities we have that enable us to perform with excellence.
Going back to the metaphor of the tree, capabilities are the branches that produce the fruits or results. With regard to our example of the expert witness, capabilities are a glaring necessity. Who would even begin to pay attention to the testimony of an “expert” who had no capability in her supposed area of expertise?
My father told of an experience he had some years ago making a presentation to generals in the air force of a small country. He asked one of the generals about the effectiveness of their 360-degree feedback process where the pilots rated one another’s capabilities. He wanted to know how they kept it from becoming a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” situation in which pilots would praise one another’s capabilities so that both could get promoted. Evidently, the general was completely taken aback by the question. In essence, he said, “Don’t you realize that we are surrounded by our enemies on every side, and our very survival as a nation depends upon our skill? No one would even think of misrepresenting the capabilities of anyone on this force.”
As this experience clearly shows, capabilities are vital to creating credibility—both personally and organizationally. Our capabilities inspire the trust of others, particularly when they are specifically those needed for the task at hand. Our capabilities also give us the self-confidence that we can do what needs to be done. Indeed, competence inspires confidence.
Think about the difference between a child who has learned to play a musical instrument or excel in sports or drama or some area of academics, compared to one who has essentially wasted his time. Think about the difference in the confidence and discipline he has—not only that he can do what he has learned to do well, but also in his ability to learn and do other things in life. As he reaches his teenage years and applies for a job, think of the confidence potential employers will have in him. Even if the job doesn’t require his currently developed talents or skills, employers will recognize his desire and ability to develop skills as demonstrated by his past. As he moves on into higher education, family, career, and contribution, his capabilities—and the desire and ability to develop his capabilities—will be a huge trust builder and will have a dramatic, positive impact throughout his life.
Capable people are credible. They inspire trust. It’s that simple. You can have the other three cores—you can have integrity and good intent, and you can have even produced good results in the past. But at the end of the day—especially in this rapidly changing collaborative age—if you don’t have current capabilities, if you are not relevant, you will not have credibility. You’ll be taxed. You won’t get the dividends of trust.
An example of someone who has the other three cores—but not capabilities—would be someone who is honest and caring and produces the results necessary to be promoted to a new level of responsibility that he doesn’t have the competence to handle. This is the Peter Principle in action—of promoting people to the level of their incompetence. If he simply relies on the skills that got him to where he is—if he isn’t involved in constantly learning, growing, and developing new skills—he won’t have what’s necessary to succeed in his new situation. He’s like a family doctor who is asked to perform brain surgery; he may be very competent in the practice of family medicine, but he doesn’t have what it takes to perform with excellence in his new assignment.
On the flip side, you could have enormous capabilities, but be lacking in integrity, intent, or results. For instance, you might have tremendous potential but never become able to translate it into results, so it remains just that—potential. Or you might use your great intelligence and skill to accomplish unworthy goals or to accomplish goals through unworthy means. To sever capacities from their character roots is to engage in corruption and manipulation. It won’t build credibility; it will destroy trust.
Again, all four cores are vital. And capabilities are particularly essential in today’s changing economy, where technology and globalization are outdating skill-sets faster than ever before. The half-life of our current knowledge and skills is much shorter than it has ever been, and suddenly someone who was very competent and even had a great track record in yesterday’s world may no longer be competent in today’s world.
Left untended, knowledge and skill, like all assets, depreciate in value—surprisingly quickly.
—DAVID MAISTER, BUSINESS AUTHOR AND CONSULTANT
The main message here for both individuals and organizations is that to remain credible in today’s world, we need to constantly improve our capabilities. I have one colleague who maintains that it’s vital to “reinvent yourself” every three years to significantly upgrade your skill-set and knowledge so that you can remain relevant and able to make new contributions in a world of constant change. This three-year reinvention may be important for organizations, as well. As the American Express Next Chapter book asserts, “Reinvention is the key to longevity.” This is probably never more vital than in today’s changing global economy, where new competitors often emerge from a standing start and where disruptive technologies can make a once-successful strategy obsolete overnight.
As you prepare to consider Core 3—Capabilities, you might want to ask yourself:
• What capabilities do I have that make me credible and that inspire the trust and confidence of others?
• What experience have I had (or not had) in developing capabilities that affects the confidence I have in myself?
• What impact are factors such as technology and globalization having on the relevance of my current capabilities?
• What is my attitude and approach toward improving my current capabilities and gaining new ones?
In the first part of this chapter, we’ll take a look at what we’ll call our “technical abilities”—those skills that are specific to our job or situation or particular task at hand. In the last part, we’ll focus on the one capability that is vital in every situation—the ability to establish, grow, extend, and restore trust, which I refer to as “trust abilities.”
TASKS
One way to think about the various dimensions of capabilities is to use the acronym “TASKS.”
T alents
A ttitudes
S kills
K nowledge
S tyle
Talents are our natural gifts and strengths. Attitudes represent our paradigms—our ways of seeing, as well as our ways of being. Skills are our proficiencies, the things we can do well. Knowledge represents our learning, insight, understanding, and awareness. Style represents our unique approach and personality.
These are all parts of what we call our capabilities. They are our means to produce results. By breaking them down into these components, we are able to more fully explore them, both independently and interdependently.
Here are some questions to consider:
TALENTS: What are my unique strengths or talents? What is the highest and best use of my talents? How can I better maximize the talents I have? What talents might I have that I have not yet developed?
True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
—JOHN GARDNER, AUTHOR OF EXCELLENCE AND SELF-RENEWAL
“Talents” are those things that come to us naturally. I have one colleague who has a talent for public speaking. Where most people find it stressful, Barry finds it e
nergizing and renewing. He has a natural ability to engage with people, to make learning fun, and to connect people and ideas. Skills and knowledge are helpful to him, but what’s at the heart of his ability and passion is talent.
Another acquaintance, Christi, had experience running home-based businesses, but was looking for something that more fully engaged her unique talents. Meeting with a coach who helps people discover their talents, she found that she loved organizing, so she ran with it. Christi became the president of her state chapter of the National Association of Professional Organizers and today runs a successful home and office organizing business. Christi attributes her success not to hard work as much as to her talent and passion. She says, “I can’t believe I’m getting paid to do this!”
As we think about our talents, we need to realize that we may have talents within us that we don’t currently know we have. Maybe we haven’t really thought deeply about our talents. Or maybe we’ve allowed the demands of employment or other circumstances or people to identify our talents for us. Going through a deep, introspective, personal process of talent identification may reveal surprising and exciting avenues to pursue.
We might do well to consider the well-known parable of the talents. In this story, a man who is leaving on a journey entrusts his servants with his goods. To one servant, he gives five talents (meaning a sum of money). To another, he gives two. To the last, he gives one. In the man’s absence, the servants with the five and two talents trade with them and double them. The servant who is given only one talent, fearing that he might lose it, goes and buries it in the earth. When the man returns and calls for an accounting, he praises the two servants who increased their talents and tells them that because they were faithful over a few things, he would entrust them with many things. When the third servant tells the man he buried his talent out of fear, the man reprimands him and calls him an “unprofitable servant.” He takes the talent away, gives it to the servant who increased his five talents to ten, and casts the unprofitable servant out.
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