by Jeff Shelby
“Or we'll all just start puking our guts out,” Will taunted.
“That's not funny, Will,” she snapped. “Norovirus is real, and people get super sick on these cruises all the time. I am not getting sick.”
He rolled his eyes and held his phone up to take a picture of the ship.
“And oh my god, am I hot,” Emily said. She lifted her hair off her neck and turned to look at me. “Is my makeup running?”
“No one cares.” Will turned around to take a selfie with the ship in the background. “Literally no one.”
“It looks fine,” Sophie said.
Emily whipped out her own phone to inspect her face.
It was July and it was hot. Jake and I had talked about taking one last family vacation before Emily left for college. We'd knocked around several options and places before we'd struck on the idea of a cruise. We'd never been to the Caribbean, and when we looked at the prices for five days and our rooms and food, we really couldn't find a better value. We'd settled on Circus pretty quickly because they had a good reputation among traveling families and their cruises lined up with the dates we'd cleared on the calendar to travel.
“I'm not wearing makeup, but my face will probably melt if this line moves any slower,” Jake mumbled.
I elbowed him again.
We were in a line to board the ship, everyone pulling their roller bags, and it was a slower process than I could've imagined. We'd already checked in at the terminal and been given our ID cards for the trip, then escorted outside to wait our turn to board. The heat and humidity were a bit stifling, but I was hoping everyone would appreciate all of that as part of the experience.
Wrong again.
The line of passengers finally started to move slowly over the gangway that carried us off the concrete platform and onto the ship. Families and senior citizens and couples and nearly every other type of person imaginable were in line with us. There was an energy buzzing around as everyone moved closer to the massive white vessel.
A woman in her twenties, dressed in bright white shorts and a bright white short-sleeved blouse, came up next to us in line. Her smile exposed teeth as blinding as her clothing. “Hi, folks. I'm Trinity, one of the photographers on the Stupendous.” She was like a cheerleader on steroids. “Where are you guys from?”
“Moose River,” Grace said.
“She means what state,” Will said.
“It's in Minnesota,” Sophie told the woman. “We're from Minnesota.”
“Oh, nice!” Trinity exclaimed. “I'll bet it's nice to get out of all that snow, right?”
“Well, it's July,” Jake said. “So, no snow right now.”
“Oh, duh, of course!” Trinity said with a laugh. “Well, I'm totally glad you're here. So how about I get a picture of the whole fam so you have a souvenir of you guys right before your fabulous trip?”
“No,” Emily whispered in my ear. “I look awful.”
“Absolutely,” I said to Trinity and ignoring Emily. “We'd love that.”
Jake chuckled, shook his head, and moved to the other side of the kids.
“Everybody say STUPENDOUS!” Trinity said, angling her camera in our direction.
Grace and Sophie yelled it out, while the rest of us sort of mumbled it under our breath.
“Perfect!” Trinity said, as she checked the back of her camera. She touched what looked like a phone attached to her hip and a small slip of paper slid out of it. She held it out to me. “There you go. You'll find the photo store just off the main atrium of the ship, and your photo will be there sometime after dinner tonight. You guys have an awesome time and I'm sure I'll see you on the ship!” She waved and moved back down to the line.
“When you get it, don't post it anywhere, alright?” Emily said. She was suddenly attached to my side. “I don't want that posted.”
“I'm posting it everywhere.” Will grinned at her. “Snap, Insta, freaking everywhere.”
“Mom!” Emily said, already wound tight. “He can't do that! Don't let him do that!”
“Settle down,” I said. “Both of you. We don't even have the photo.”
“And it'll probably cost a hundred bucks to get it.” Jake raised an eyebrow. “That's how it works.”
“We're getting on!” Grace cried. “We're getting on!”
The tension was momentarily defused as we crossed the ramp and stepped through the opening in the side of the ship into what was, most definitely, the biggest open air atrium I'd ever been in.
All of us were looking upward.
“Holy crap.” Will was about as effusive as he'd ever been. “This is huge.”
It was huge. The glass dome at the top was probably the highest point of the ship, and I felt like an ant beneath it. People hustled around us in the marble-floored atrium, pointing and smiling.
Jake looked around. “Where do we go?”
I started to tell him I had absolutely no idea when a woman wearing a uniform identical to Trinity’s approached us. She had short blonde hair and the compact body of a gymnast. She held an iPad in her hands.
“Hi, folks.” She grinned at us. “Welcome aboard! We are so happy to have you!”
“Uh, thanks,” Jake said. “Maybe you can tell us what we should do now?”
She nodded knowingly. “I absolutely can. My name is Erica Donigal and I'm the activities director here on the Stupendous. If someone can give me their ID card, we can get you moving in the right direction.”
Will immediately handed her his ID, which bore a striking resemblance to a credit card. She smiled at him, took it, and slid it along the side of the iPad. She nodded again and handed it back to him. “Thank you very much, Will. I assume these other five people are with you?”
“Not the tall girl.” He pointed at Emily. “She just—”
I put my hand over his mouth. “Yes. We are all together.”
Erica winked at me. “I thought so. Okay, so it looks like we've got you booked in one of our family suites up on the Pacific deck.” Her smile widened. “You are going to love this room. It's amazing.”
I frowned. “Actually, I'm not sure that's right. I think we booked two adjoining staterooms.”
“No, we didn't,” Jake said, smiling. “It's the family suite.”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“We need space.” He shrugged. “And the cost difference was negligible.”
Erica nodded. “You will most definitely have space. It's really the perfect suite for a family your size.”
I kept my gaze on Jake.
He shrugged again. “I went back in and changed the reservation. It's fine. Surprise.”
“I hate surprises,” I said.
“You will love this one,” Erica said. She glanced back down at her iPad. “Daisy, right?”
I nodded. “That's right.”
“Jake made a good choice,” she assured me. “When you see it, you'll be happy. And if you're not, come talk to me and we'll figure it out.”
I really did hate surprises, but I didn't want to start out the trip with an argument. With her or with my husband. “I'm sure it'll be fine.”
Erica produced a thick brochure from her back pocket. “And because I'm the activities director, I'm going to give you this. It's a list of every single activity on the ship this week. You name it, we've got it. There are schedules and locations; everything you need to know is in here.” She held it out to Grace. “Can you be responsible for this?”
Grace grinned at her and took it, nodding.
“Okay, so bear with me for just a minute while I go over a couple of things with you and then we'll get you to your room,” Erica said.
She spent the next several minutes going over the times and locations of the meals, where we could find the port excursion schedules, and several other odds and ends about safety.
“Okay,” she said when she'd finished. “Any questions?”
I could tell my troops were getting restless. “I think you covered it all, and I'
m sure if we have questions, we'll come and find you.”
“Excellent,” Erica said, and it seemed like she truly meant it. “Now, to get you to your fabulous room.”
She pointed across the atrium and instructed us to take the elevators up to our deck. From there, we'd see signs that were easy to follow and would get us to our room.
“Will our bags be up at our room?” Emily asked. “I have two.”
“She tried to bring eight,” Will mumbled.
She glared at him. “Three. I tried to bring three. But I only brought two.”
Before Erica could answer, a very tan man with slicked back hair and a puffed out chest stepped between us and Erica.
“Excuse me, ma'am.” He pushed his sunglasses on to the top of his head. “We need some help. We've got a room issue that I need you to take care of.”
To Erica's credit, she was unfazed by the interruption. “Of course, sir. I'll be happy to help you as soon as I'm done with this family.”
He turned around, taking notice of us for the first time, which seemed nearly impossible. “I'm sure they understand. This is very important.”
“I'm sure you understand you just interrupted us,” I said coolly, not caring at all for his demeanor.
“Yeah,” Grace said. “It's rude to interrupt. Mom says that all the time.”
He glanced down at her with the same affection one might have if they'd just stepped in gum. “Well, your mom probably got the right room. I did not.”
“That isn't our problem.” Jake didn’t snap, but it was close.
The guy looked Jake up and down. He seemed to puff out his chest a bit more when he realized Jake was taller than he was.
“Emily, your bags will be up at your room within the hour.” Erica offered her a reassuring smile. “They may already be there, but if they aren't, they'll be there within the next hour. If they aren't?” She produced a business card and held it out to her. “Here's my cell number. Text me and let me know and I’ll find them and bring them to you.”
Emily reluctantly took the card. Probably worried it had germs on it. “Okay. Thank you.”
“And with that,” I said, glancing at the still irritated man, “I think we'll let you deal with...this.”
The guy practically glowered at me. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“Let me know if you need anything,” Erica said. “You're going to love the ship and the cruise!”
I looked at the jerk of a guy standing in the middle of us, then smiled at Erica. “I'm sure we will. Thanks for all of your help. We are all very excited.”
“She was nice.” Grace’s voice was a stage whisper as we shuffled along toward the elevator. She glanced behind her, then fixed the type of glare she usually saved for her brother on the man. In a louder voice, she said, “See you later, Mean Man.”
“Close,” he shot back. “You got the two Ms right.”
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