My Sister's Hand in Mine

by Jane Bowles

  (LIONEL exits up stairs. MRS. CONSTABLE comes out of the darkness, where she has been sleeping on her bench, into the circle of light.)

  MOLLY You woke up.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I’ve been awake … for a while. I was waiting.

  MOLLY I won the game, but it wasn’t much fun. Lionel didn’t pay attention to the cards.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I was waiting because I wanted to tell you something … a secret … I always tell you my secrets … But there’s one I haven’t told you … I’ve known it all along … But I’ve never said anything to you … never before … But now I’m going to … I must.

  MOLLY (Wide-eyed, thinking she is referring to VIVIAN) It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t mean to …

  MRS. CONSTABLE My husband never loved me … Vivian?

  MOLLY Vivian! It wasn’t my fault … I didn’t … She … I didn’t …

  (MOLLY starts to sob.)

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Clapping her hand over MOLLY’S mouth) Shhhhhh … They belonged to each other, my husband and Vivian. They never belonged to me … ever … But I couldn’t admit it … I hung on hard to the bitter end. When they died … nothing was left … no memories … Everything vanished … all the panic … and the strain … I hardly remember my life. They never loved me … I didn’t really love them … My heart had fake roots … when the strain was over, they dried up … they shriveled and snapped and my heart was left empty. There was no blood left in my heart at all … They never loved me! Molly … your mother … It’s not too late … She doesn’t …

  MOLLY (Interrupting, sensing that MRS. CONSTABLE will say something too awful to hear) My mother wrote me. I got the letter today. She hates it down in Mexico. She hates it there.

  MRS. CONSTABLE Molly, if you went away from here, I’d miss you very much. If you went away there wouldn’t be anyone here I loved … Molly, go away … go away with Lionel … Don’t stay here in the Lobster Bowl …

  MOLLY (Commenting on her mother’s letter and then reading from it) She doesn’t know how long she can stand it … She says she doesn’t feel very well … “The climate doesn’t suit me … I feel sick all the time and I find it almost impossible to sleep … I can’t read very much … not at night … because the light is too feeble here in the mountains. Mrs. Lopez has two of her sisters here at the moment. Things are getting more and more unbearable. Mrs. Lopez is the least raucous of the three. I hope that you are occupying yourself with something constructive. Be careful not to dream and be sure…”

  MRS. CONSTABLE Why shouldn’t you dream?

  MOLLY I used to waste a lot of time day-dreaming. I guess I still do. She didn’t want me to dream.

  MRS. CONSTABLE Why shouldn’t you dream? Why didn’t she want you to?

  MOLLY Because she wanted me to grow up to be wonderful and strong like she is. Will she come back soon, Mrs. Constable? Will she make them all leave there? Will she?

  MRS. CONSTABLE I don’t know dear … I don’t know … I suppose she will … If she needs you, she’ll come back. If she needs you, I’m sure she will.

  MOLLY Are you going to walk home along the edge of the water?

  MRS. CONSTABLE I like wet sand … and I like the spray.

  MOLLY You’ll get the bottom of your dress all soaking wet. You’ll catch cold.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I love the waves breaking in this early light … I run after them. I run after the waves … I scoop up the foam and I rub it on my face. All along the way I think it’s beginning …

  MOLLY What?

  MRS. CONSTABLE My life. I think it’s beginning, and then …

  MOLLY And then?

  MRS. CONSTABLE I see the hotel.

  (MRS. CONSTABLE exits through oyster-shell door.)

  MOLLY (She reads again part of her mother’s letter) “Two day ago, Fula Lopez went into the city and came back with a hideous white dog. She bought it in the street. The dog’s bark is high and sharp. It hasn’t stopped yapping since it came. I haven’t slept at all for two nights. Now I’m beginning a cold…”

  (The lights fade as the curtain falls.)

  Scene ii

  The Lobster Bowl. Two months later.

  INEZ (She is middle-aged, full bosomed, spirited but a little coarse. She cannot see into MOLLY’S booth from where she stands behind the bar) I’d rather hit myself over the head with a club than drag around here the way you do, reading comic books all day long. It’s so damp and empty and quiet in here.

  (She shakes a whole tray of glasses in the sink, which make a terrific racket.)

  MOLLY It’s not a comic book. It’s a letter from my mother.

  INEZ What’s new?

  MOLLY It came last week.

  INEZ What are you doing reading it now?

  MOLLY She’s coming back today. She’s coming back from Mexico.

  INEZ Maybe she’ll pep things up a little. I hear she’s got more personality than you. (Shifts some oysters) You didn’t model yourself after her, did you?

  MOLLY No.

  INEZ Ever try modeling yourself after anyone?

  MOLLY No.

  INEZ Well, if you don’t feel like you’ve got much personality yourself, it’s an easy way to do. You just pick the right model and you watch how they act. I never modeled myself after anyone, but there were two or three who modeled after me. And they weren’t even relatives—just ordinary girls. It’s an easy way to do. (Shifts some oysters) Anyway, I don’t see poring over comic books. I’d rather have someone tell me a good joke any day. What’s really nice is to go out—eight or nine—to an Italian dinner, and sit around afterwards listening to the different jokes. You get a better selection that way! Ever try that?

  MOLLY I don’t like big bunches of people.

  INEZ You could at least live in a regular home if you don’t like crowds, and do cooking for your husband. You don’t even have a hot plate in your room! (Crash of stool to floor, followed by some high giggles) There goes Mrs. Constable again. You’d think she’d drink home, at her hotel, where no one could see her. She’s got a whole suite to herself there. It’s been over a year since her daughter’s accident, so I could say her drinking permit had expired. I think she’s just on a plain drunk now. Right? (MOLLY nods) You sure are a button lip. As long as you’re sitting there you might as well talk. It don’t cost extra. (She frowns and looks rather mean for a moment. There is more offstage racket) I think Mrs. Constable is heading this way. I hope to God she don’t get started on Death. Not that I blame her for thinking about it after what happened, but I don’t like that topic.

  (Enter MRS. CONSTABLE.)

  MRS. CONSTABLE (She has been drinking) How is everyone, this afternoon?

  MOLLY My mother’s coming back today.

  INEZ I’m kind of rushing, Mrs. Constable. I’ve got to have three hundred oyster cocktails ready by tonight and I haven’t even prepared the hot sauce yet.

  MRS. CONSTABLE Rushing? I didn’t know that people still rushed …

  INEZ Here we go, boys!

  MRS. CONSTABLE Then you must be one of the fortunate ones who has not yet stood on the edge of the black pit. There is no rushing after that, only waiting. It seems hardly worthwhile even keeping oneself clean after one has stood on the edge of the black pit.

  INEZ If you’re clean by nature, you’re clean.

  MRS. CONSTABLE Oh, really? How very interesting!

  INEZ Some people would rather be clean than eat or sleep.

  MRS. CONSTABLE How very interesting! How nice that they are all so terribly interested in keeping clean! Cleanliness is so important really, such a deep deep thing. Those people who are so interested in keeping clean must have very deep souls. They must think a lot about life and death, that is when they’re not too busy washing, but I guess washing takes up most of their time. How right they are! Hoorah for them!

  (She flourishes her glass.)

  INEZ (With a set face determined to ignore her taunts) The tide’s pretty far out today. Did you take a look at the …

  MR
S. CONSTABLE They say that people can’t live unless they can fill their lives with petty details. That’s people’s way of avoiding the black pit. I’m just a weak, ordinary, very ordinary woman in her middle years, but I’ve been able to wipe all the petty details from my life … all of them. I never rush or get excited about anything. I’ve dumped my entire life out the window … like that!

  (She tips her whisky glass and pours a little on the floor.)

  INEZ (Flaring up) Listen here, Mrs. Constable, I haven’t got time to go wiping up slops. I’ve got to prepare three hundred oyster cocktails. That means toothpicks and three hundred little hookers of hot sauce. I haven’t got time to talk so I certainly haven’t got time to wipe up slops.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I know … toothpicks and hot sauce and hookers. Very interesting! How many oysters do you serve to a customer? Please tell me.

  INEZ (Only half listening to MRS. CONSTABLE, automatically) Five.

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Smirking as much as she can) Five! How fascinating! Really and truly, I can’t believe it!

  INEZ Balls! Now you get out and don’t come back here until I finish my work. Not if you know what’s good for you. I can feel myself getting ready to blow up! (Shifts some more oysters) I’m going upstairs now and I’m going to put a cold towel on my head. Then, I’m coming down to finish my oyster cocktails, and when I do I want peace and quiet. I’ve got to have peace and quiet when I’m doing my oyster cocktails. If I don’t I just get too nervous. That’s all.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I’m going … whether you’re getting ready to blow up or not. (She walks unsteadily toward exit. Then from the doorway) I happen to be a very independent woman … But you are just plain bossy, Mrs. Oyster Cocktail Sauce.

  (Exit MRS. CONSTABLE.)

  INEZ Independent! I could make her into a slave if I cared to. I could walk all over her if I cared to, but I don’t. I don’t like to walk all over anyone. Most women do … they love it. They like to take some other man or woman and make him or her into a slave, but I don’t. I don’t like slaves. I like everybody to be going his own independent way. Hello. Good-bye. You go your way and I’ll go my way, but no slaves. I’ll bet you wouldn’t find ten men in this town as democratic as I am. (Shifts some oysters) Well, here I go. I guess I’ll give myself a fresh apron while I’m up there. Then I’ll be ready when they come for their oysters. (Vaguely touching her head) I don’t like to eat oysters any more. I suppose I’ve seen too much of them, like everything else in life.

  (She pulls the chain on the big light behind the bar so that the scene darkens. There is a little light playing on MOLLY’S booth and on the paper flowers and leaves. MOLLY puts her book of comics down, sits dreaming for a moment. There is summer house music to indicate a more lyrical mood. She pulls a letter out of her pocket and reads it. Enter LIONEL.)

  LIONEL Hey.

  MOLLY Where were you?

  LIONEL I was walking along the beach thinking about something. Molly, listen. I got a wire this morning!

  MOLLY A wire?

  LIONEL Yes, from my brother.

  MOLLY The one in St. Louis? The one who wants us to come …

  LIONEL Yes, Molly. He has a place for me in his business now. He sells barbecue equipment to people.

  MOLLY To people?

  LIONEL Yes, to people. For their back yards, and he wants my help.

  MOLLY But … but you’re going to be a religious leader.

  LIONEL I didn’t say I wouldn’t be, or I may end up religious without leading anybody at all. But wherever I end up, I’m getting out of here. I’ve made up my mind. This place is a fake.

  MOLLY These oyster shells are real and so is the turtle. He just hasn’t got his own head and feet. They’re wooden.

  LIONEL To me this place is a fake. I chose it for protection, and it doesn’t work out.

  MOLLY It doesn’t work out?

  LIONEL Molly, you know that. I’ve been saying it to you in a thousand different ways. You know it’s not easy for me to leave. Places that don’t work out are ten times tougher to leave than any other places in the world.

  MRS. CONSTABLE My sisters used to have cherry contests. They stuffed themselves with cherries all week long and counted up the pits on Saturday. It made them feel exuberant.

  MOLLY I can’t eat cherries.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I couldn’t either. I’d eat a few and I’d feel sick. But that never stopped me. I never missed a single contest. I despised cherry contests, but I couldn’t stand being left out. Never. Every week I’d sneak off to the woods with bags full of cherries. I’d sit on a log and pit each cherry with a knife. Then I’d bury the fruit in a deep hole and fill it up with dirt. I cheated so hard to be in them, and I didn’t even like them. I was so scared to be left out.

  LIONEL They are harder to leave, Molly, places that don’t work out. I know it sounds crazy, but they are. Like it’s three times harder for me to leave now than when I first came here, and in those days I liked the decorations. Molly, don’t look so funny. I can explain it all some other way. (Indicates oyster-shell door) Suppose I kept on closing that door against the ocean every night because the ocean made me sad and then one night I went to open it and I couldn’t even find the door. Suppose I couldn’t tell it apart from the wall any more. Then it would be too late and we’d be shut in here forever once and for all. It’s not going to happen, Molly. I won’t let it happen. We’re going away—you and me. We’re getting out of here. We’re not playing cards in this oyster cocktail bar until we’re old.

  MOLLY (Turns and looks up the stairs and then back to LIONEL) If we had a bigger light bulb we could play in the bedroom upstairs.

  LIONEL (Walking away) You’re right Molly, dead right. We could do just that. We could play cards up there in that God-forsaken bedroom upstairs.

  (Exits.)

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Gets up and goes to MOLLY) Molly, call him back.

  MOLLY No, I’m going upstairs.

  MRS. CONSTABLE It’s time … Go … go with Lionel.

  MOLLY My mother’s coming. I’m going to her birthday supper.

  MRS. CONSTABLE Don’t go there …

  MOLLY I’m late. I must change my dress.

  (She exits up the stairs.)

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Stumbling about and crossing to the bar) You’re hanging on just like me. If she brought you her love you wouldn’t know her. You wouldn’t know who she was. (MRS. CONSTABLE sinks into a chair below the bar. GERTRUDE enters. She is pale, distraught. She does not see MRS. CONSTABLE) Hello, Gertrude Eastman Cuevas.

  GERTRUDE (Trying to conceal the strain she is under) Hello, Mrs. Constable. How are you?

  MRS. CONSTABLE How are you making out?

  GERTRUDE Molly wrote me you were still here. Where is she?

  MRS. CONSTABLE You look tired.

  GERTRUDE Where is Molly? (LIONEL enters) Lionel! How nice to see you! Where’s Molly?

  LIONEL I … I didn’t know you were coming.

  GERTRUDE Didn’t you?

  LIONEL I didn’t expect to see you. How are you, Mrs. Eastman Cuevas? How was your trip? When did you arrive?

  GERTRUDE Well, around two … But I had to wait … They were driving me here … Didn’t you know I was coming?

  LIONEL No, I didn’t.

  GERTRUDE (Uneasily) But I wrote Molly. I told her I was coming. I wanted to get here for my birthday. I wrote Molly that. Didn’t she tell you about it? I sent her a letter. The paper was very sweet. I was sure that she would show it to you. There’s a picture of a little Spanish dancer on the paper with a real lace mantilla pasted round her head. Didn’t she show it to you?

  LIONEL (Brooding) No.

  GERTRUDE That’s strange. I thought she would. I have others for her too. A toreador with peach satin breeches and a macaw with real feathers.

  LIONEL (Unheeding) She never said anything about it. She never showed me any letter.

  GERTRUDE That’s strange. I thought … I thought … (She hesitates, feeling the barrier between them. Tentati
ve) Macaws are called guacamayos down there.

  LIONEL Are they?

  GERTRUDE Yes, they are. Guacamayos …

  LIONEL What’s the difference between them and parrots?

  GERTRUDE They’re bigger! Much bigger.

  LIONEL Do they talk?

  GERTRUDE Yes, they do, but parrots have a better vocabulary. Lionel, my birthday supper’s tonight. I suppose you can’t come. You work late at night, don’t you?

  LIONEL I work at night, but not for long …

  GERTRUDE You’ll work in the day then?

  LIONEL No.

  GERTRUDE Then when will you work?

  LIONEL I’m quitting.

  GERTRUDE What?

  LIONEL I’m quitting this job. I’m getting out.

  GERTRUDE Getting out. What will you do? Where will you work?

  LIONEL I’m quitting. I’m going.

  (He exits.)

  GERTRUDE Lionel … Wait … Where are you going?

  MRS. CONSTABLE Come on over here and talk to me … You need a drink.

  GERTRUDE Where is she? Where’s Molly?

  MRS. CONSTABLE She’s gone down on the rocks, hunting for mussels.

  GERTRUDE Hunting for mussels? But she knew I was coming. Why isn’t she here? I don’t understand. Didn’t she get my letter?

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Dragging GERTRUDE rather roughly to a table) Sit down … You look sick.

  GERTRUDE I’m not sick … I’m just tired, exhausted, that’s all. They’ve worn me out in a thousand different ways. Even today … I wanted to see Molly the second we arrived, but I had to wait. I tried to rest. I had a bad dream. It’s hanging over me still. But I’ll be all right in a little bit. I’ll be fine as soon as I see Molly. I’m just tired, that’s all.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I’m glad you’re well. How is Mrs. Lopez? If I were a man, I’d marry Mrs. Lopez. She’d be my type. We should both have been men. Two Spanish men, married to Mrs. Lopez.

  GERTRUDE She was part of the whole thing! The confusion … the racket … the pandemonium.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I like Mrs. Lopez, and I’m glad she’s fat.

  GERTRUDE There were twelve of us at table every meal.