Never Tear Us Apart (Never Tear Us Apart #1)

by Monica Murphy

  Nope. I actually see the bottom half of her butt cheeks. As in, she’s wearing no underwear. Swallowing hard, I shake my head.

  I’ve never seen anything like it. I feel like a gawking little kid.

  The opening band has finished their set and Ethan’s clients are already up onstage, tuning their instruments, the riffs on the guitar loud and screeching. I wince, my gaze clashing with that of a man who’s standing not even twenty feet away from us. My hand is still clasped in Ethan’s, I’m clearly with him for the evening, but the flirtatious wink and devilish smile the man sends me fills me with irrational fear.

  I turn away from him, pressing my cheek against Ethan’s biceps as I close my eyes and breathe deep his intoxicating scent. I didn’t like the way that guy looked at me. Like I was a piece of meat on display just for him. Maybe this dressing sexy for a man isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be . . .

  “You all right?” I glance up to find Ethan watching me, his dark brows furrowed with concern, the beer bottle clasped in his hand. I don’t answer, just offer him a reassuring smile. He smiles in return, though I still see worry in his eyes. “Let’s go see if we can find a table.”

  Without a word I let Ethan lead me into the back half of the club, where there’s a section of round tables and chairs, every one of them full. The open area in front of the stage is crowded with onlookers, most of them female, many of them scantily clad and yelling obscene things to the guys onstage.

  “They have a strong female following,” Ethan says, his mouth twisted into a wry smile, just as a shrill female voice screams out, “I want you to fuck me, Marty!”

  “I can see that,” I murmur, gasping out loud when a girl lifts her top and flashes her braless breasts at the stage.

  Ethan slips his arm around my shoulders, his mouth at my ear. “You’re okay with this, right?”

  I’m uncomfortable. I can’t deny it. But being at this concert, watching girls throw themselves at a bunch of sweaty guys who play instruments and sing decently, isn’t going to kill me.

  Doing something different is good. Sheila would be proud of me. She’d call it part of my growth process or whatever.

  The drummer counts, his drumsticks tapping out a beat before the band launches into a song that is heavy on the guitar, the lead singer’s moody voice filling the room. We’re standing on the edge of the open area, Ethan having removed his arm from around my shoulders as people stream by us, crowding all around us. He’s drinking his beer, his body moving slightly to the beat, and I can only stand there awkwardly, feeling unsure.

  What do I do, what do I say, how do I move? I’ve never been much of a dancer, at least publicly. I’ve never been much of anything really. It’s as though my life came to a complete standstill at the age of almost thirteen and I didn’t allow myself to experience much of anything.

  How sad is that?

  I remember all the times I skipped around in the privacy of my bedroom, shaking my hips to the sound of Katy Perry songs. I’d never been to a school dance, but I’d watched enough music videos on YouTube to pick up some moves. I could do this if I could just let go. Drop all the worry and the misgivings and the self-consciousness and just . . . be.

  Resolve slowly fills me and I stand up straight. If I want to dance, I should dance. And if I want to feel a man’s hands on me as I move to the beat, I shouldn’t feel ashamed. I’m a grown woman with—needs.

  Yeah. Needs.

  The song ends and the crowd roars their approval. The band doesn’t hesitate, just launches into another song, and I turn to face Ethan, excitement pulsing in my veins as I step closer to him, my hand on his shoulder. “Take me to the front of the stage,” I yell at him, hoping he can hear me above the din.

  “What?” He frowns, looking confused, his eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

  He’s so adorable. Bringing me here tonight is quickly making up for his earlier awful behavior.

  “I want to get closer to the stage,” I yell again, emphasizing each word.

  He glances toward the crowd lining the front of the stage. “It’s packed.”

  I shrug. “So?”

  “Hot. Sweaty.” He sniffs the air. “And someone’s passing around a joint.”

  Drugs and alcohol, all while listening to a live band play. Tonight is like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life. “I don’t care. Not like I’m going to smoke it.”

  He starts to laugh. “You sure you want to go out there?”

  I nod, my hair sliding against my damp neck. The heat is already getting to me but I don’t care. I want to experience this. Want to immerse myself completely into this night and I want Ethan by my side while I do it.

  He takes me by the crook of the elbow and leads me into the fray. “Then let’s do this.”

  I’ve never seen Katie like this before. She’s open and warm, her lithe body swaying to the beat as I stand behind her, glaring at every motherfucker who gets too close. We’re standing as close to the stage as we can get, right in front of a speaker, so the music is extra loud. There’s no point in talking—we couldn’t hear each other anyway and besides, there’s no need for words.

  Our bodies are talking loud enough.

  I’m an ass for reaching out to her like I did, as if nothing ever happened between us a few days ago. But the need to see her, smell her, touch her was so strong I couldn’t resist. Going so many hours without talking to her was pure torture. Having her like this now, my hands resting on her hips, her scent wrapping around me and making me as high as those assholes passing around the joint a few feet to our left, I’m in heaven.

  Or hell. I can’t quite tell which yet.

  The set is almost over and the band saves one of their most popular songs for last. The crowd goes crazy with their approval when they hear the song begin and Katie hops up and down, yelling along with them. She glances over her shoulder, sending me a sweet smile, and I don’t remove my hands from her hips. In fact, I pull her in closer, her back flush with my chest, her ass nestled against my groin. Her body stiffens the slightest bit, I can sense her discomfort, and then slowly, she relaxes.

  Her trust in me is humbling.

  The crowd goes wild around us but I don’t move. I brush Katie’s sweat-dampened hair away from her nape and press my mouth there. A brief yet lingering kiss on her smooth, soft skin that’s never been touched by another. Just me. A tremble moves through her and she bends her head forward, as if asking for more, and I give it to her.

  More kisses, soft, hungry presses of my mouth against her fevered skin. A sound escapes her; I hear it even with the band playing and the people yelling. A sexy hum as she tilts her head to the side, allowing me a glimpse of her face. Her eyes are closed, her lips parted, her cheeks flushed.

  Sexy.

  My tightly reined-in control slips. The need for her grows and I get hard. Hell, I don’t want to scare her. Don’t want to push too fast, but she’s so unbelievably gorgeous like this. I’ve wanted her for what feels like forever and now that I have her, the two of us playing at normal, I don’t want to let her go.

  Despite the warning bells clanging in my head, despite my knowing I’m tempting trouble and could end up hurting the both of us, I can’t stop. This has been years in the making.

  A lifetime of wondering. Of wanting. Of needing.

  I let one hand slide from her hip to her front, splaying my fingers wide as I rest my hand on her stomach. She shifts against me, the sensation of her backside brushing against my erection nearly making my eyes cross. I toy with the hem of her tank, deciding to hell with it, and slip my fingers beneath the fabric, encountering nothing but the hot skin of her belly.

  She sucks in a breath, her stomach muscles contract, and she glances over her shoulder at me, our gazes clashing. I’m asking her permission without saying a word, needing this moment with her, wanting the connection of skin on skin. If I could I’d touch her everywhere. Strip her of her clothing, search her body, use my mouth and hands to bring her pl
easure. Make her forget every ugly thing that’s ever happened to her.

  Katie’s still watching me and I lean in, press my mouth to hers in a brief kiss. She turns toward me, her hands going to my chest, her body nestled against mine as she kisses me this time. Our mouths are hungry, our hands clutching as the crowd shifts around us, the heavy beat of the song seeming to keep time with our kisses.

  I break away first, needing to catch my breath, calm my thoughts, and she pulls away, taking my hand to lead me through the crowd.

  I follow blindly, not sure where she’s taking us. Screaming applause erupts around us as the lead singer—Jay—announces that they’re done for the night. It’s a lie. I’ve watched them before. They’ll play an encore, maybe two, before they finally retire for the night. The crowd knows it and not a one of them moves a muscle.

  This gains me time. Time alone with Katie.

  We somehow end up in a darkened hallway, the bathrooms nearby. I press her against the wall, my hands at her waist, her hands in my hair, as we continue where we left off. Mouths open, tongues wild. She whimpers, sexy little sounds low in her throat that drive me insane with wanting her, and my hands are beneath her shirt again, gripping bare skin, moving up, greedy as always.

  Katie makes me greedy. Makes me want what I shouldn’t have.

  She murmurs my name against my neck after we come up for air, her mouth against my skin, her hot breath radiating through me. I clutch her close, my hands falling to the back of her thighs so I can lift her up. Her legs automatically go around my hips, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and I pin her to the wall. I lean my head back at the exact moment her eyes open and our gazes meet, mine full of questions.

  Hers full of uncertainty. Desire.

  Katie licks her lips and I bite back the groan that wants to escape. She’s inherently sexy and doesn’t have a clue what she does to me.

  “Do you want me to stop?” I ask, sounding tortured. I’ll do it. I’ll stop for her. Whatever she wants, I’ll give her, no questions asked.

  She slowly shakes her head and I move in closer, triumph making my heart light, the sensation of her body pressed so close to mine making my head spin. “No,” she whispers.

  That’s all the permission I need. I kiss her, drown in her, search her mouth with my tongue, search her body with my hands, and she arches against me. Doesn’t stop me when I should be stopped. Doesn’t tell me no when I should hear that word again and again.

  What I’m doing is wrong. But it feels so damn right I know I’ll never be the same again. I’ll always want this, need it, crave it. Crave her.

  Minutes pass. Long, drugging minutes filled with kisses and touches and gasps and sighs. People pass by but we don’t pay them any mind. She stiffens once, twice, aware that we’re in public and putting on a show, but we’re deep in the shadows at the back of the hall. Not out in the crowd in front of the stage.

  The band is finished, I hear Jay scream out an enthusiastic good night, and the air shifts. Changes. Fills with the sharp scent of sweat and booze, perfume and cologne as the crowd disperses, many of them making their way toward the bathrooms, which we’re not too far away from.

  Katie ends our kiss, her breathing erratic, her chest rising and falling against mine, her breasts tempting me. But I restrain myself, play it cool, hope like hell this isn’t it for the night.

  “That was . . .” Her voice drifts and she nibbles on her swollen lower lip, her gaze almost reluctantly meeting mine. Her cheeks are flushed, her expression shy, and I want nothing more than to gobble her up.

  “Awesome? Amazing? Unbelievably good?” I offer up as suggestions, pressing my mouth to hers in another lingering kiss.

  I can feel the smile that curves her sweet lips. “Insane,” she whispers. “There are so many people here.”

  “They didn’t notice us.” Her legs are still loosely wrapped around my hips, our bodies pressed close. I pull away from her mouth and touch her cheek, drift the back of my fingers along satiny-smooth skin. “I should take you home.”

  Her eyes change color, if that’s possible, turning a deeper, darker blue. “Yes,” she agrees. “You should.”

  I glance toward the end of the hall, which leads backstage. “I should go tell Jay they put on a hell of a show. Want to go backstage with me?”

  She slowly shakes her head. “It’s okay. I, um, need to use the restroom before we go.”

  Unease slips down my spine. I don’t want to leave her alone. Not even for a minute. Talk about overprotective. “Are you sure? I can wait for you.”

  “The line is mega long for the ladies’ room.” She waves a hand at the line, which runs down the hall and out into the main room of the club. “By the time you’re done talking to your friend, I’ll barely be inside the restroom.”

  I cup her cheek and tilt her head back so our gazes meet. “Are you sure?”

  She nods, smiling. “I’m a big girl, Ethan. I can use the restroom by myself.”

  The details of exactly how my father abducted her fill my mind. The similarity of this situation doesn’t go unnoticed, but . . . she’s right. She’s a twenty-one-year-old woman who’s fully capable of taking care of herself. Not a naïve kid who believes every lie a creep tells her.

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.” I kiss her, our mouths lingering. “If you’re ready before me, wait right here. This will be our meeting spot.”

  She nods, her gaze stuck on my lips. The need to kiss her again is overwhelming. “Okay,” she murmurs.

  I don’t move until I see her get in line for the restroom and then I slip down the hall, toward the backstage area. The bodyguard stops me and I tell him who I am, knowing that I’m on their list. He lets me back and I go in search of Jay and the rest of the guys, ready to give them a brief compliment and thank-you before I hightail my ass out of there and go back to Katie.

  The change in her tonight has been amazing. Mind blowing. She’s so open and warm and sexy, willing to do just about anything I want. To the point of shocking me, if I’m being honest with myself. She should be angry with me, what with the way I ignored her. Trying to do what’s best for her never seems to work, though, not when it comes to me.

  I can’t resist her. The need to be close to her, to see her smile, to hear her voice, to bask in her presence, is just too overwhelming to deny. I know it’s wrong, but I’m tired of denying myself. I’m tempted to go after what I want.

  And what I want is . . .

  Katie.

  In my arms. Beneath me. Naked. In my bed.

  Forever.

  The line to the ladies’ room moved surprisingly fast and I finished before Ethan returned. I even made friends with some other women while in line, all of us chatting about the band, the girls comparing notes over how sexy they thought the lead singer was.

  When I told them my date actually knew the lead singer, I thought they would explode with envy. They kept going on about it, even calling me an idiot when I said I’d turned down an opportunity to go backstage.

  But I don’t care about the lead singer. The only man I find remotely sexy is Ethan.

  I’m waiting for him now, standing in the exact spot where he had me pressed against the wall, his mouth fused with mine. Memories flooded me, one after the other, and I knew the flush in my cheeks wasn’t caused by the hot air swirling in the building.

  I can’t believe how uninhibited I acted, but then again . . . it was exactly what I wanted to do. Let go, be free, be normal. This is what twenty-one-year-old girls do. They go out to concerts at nightclubs and dance. They let their dates put their hands on them and kiss them. They might even make out in dark corners and get lost in the taste of a man’s lips and tongue.

  A smile curls my lips and I touch them, brush my fingertips over my swollen mouth. Giddiness rises in me and I wonder if I should invite Ethan inside when he takes me home. I don’t know if I’m ready for all that, but I’m close. So incredibly close . . .

  “Hey beautiful.”<
br />
  I jerk my head up at the unfamiliar male voice, glancing around when I see no one. My heart trips over itself as it starts to race and a man steps out of the shadows. The same man that winked at me when Ethan and I first got here.

  Uneasiness slips down my spine as I watch him warily.

  The smile never leaves his face. “Not going to say hi?”

  I lift my chin, hoping he doesn’t see the fear that’s starting to eat me up inside. “I don’t even know you.”

  “Doesn’t mean you can’t say hello to a stranger.” He steps closer and I press myself against the wall as discreetly as possible, wishing Ethan were here. But he’s nowhere to be found. “What’s your name? Don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

  I say nothing, contemplating my next move. I could dart around him and make my escape, but what if he stopped me? Now that he’s closer, I can see the redness rimming his eyes, the slightly slack look to his jaw and mouth. He’s drunk. And eyeing me like I’m the best thing he’s seen in a long time.

  “Want me to get you a drink? You look a little lonely.” He slurs his words, stumbles over his own feet and chuckles. “Whoops.”

  I seriously need to get out of here. “I’m waiting for someone.”

  “Who?” He frowns. “The four-eyed dork you came in here with? I could take that guy.”

  I doubt it. Ethan’s got a few inches on this creep, plus he’s not drunk.

  “Besides,” the man continues as he draws even closer, “he’s not here. So I’m guessing you’re fair game.”

  He talks about me like I have no say in this. Deciding to make a break for it, I push away from the wall, skirting around him, ready to make my dash to freedom, but he’s quicker than I thought. He grabs hold of my arm and pulls me close to him, his alcohol-laced breath in my face as he speaks.

  “Don’t move too fast there, pretty girl. You’re not going anywhere.”

  Terror nearly freezes my heart. “Let me go.” I try to jerk out of his hold, frustrated that I keep finding myself in this type of situation. Like I ask for it or something. Am I a magnet for creeps or what?