‘Yes,’ he says. A wave of disappointment washes over me – but of course he did.
A taxi pulls in behind Ted’s car. He turns towards it.
‘You’re going,’ he says, more statement than question.
‘I have this work thing, a photo shoot.’
‘With Jasper.’ He shifts his gaze to the ground. He looks so tired. We stand in silence for a moment, and I stare at his forehead, willing him to look up and say the right thing, but I don’t even know what it is that I want to hear. What could he possibly say that would make any of this simple?
‘You still think he’s the man the universe sent you?’ he asks, eyes finally coming back to meet mine.
‘I don’t know,’ I say, honestly, ‘but the way we met is a good story. My boss has flown out here this morning and wants to feature us on the website, and I—’ I want to say, ‘in the absence of anything else’, but worry that wouldn’t make me sound great, like I’m a monkey, swinging from vine to vine, just looking for someone to hold onto.
‘A messed-up old cab driver isn’t as good a story,’ says Ted, scuffing the gravel with his shoe.
‘Ted, I wasn’t under the impression the messed-up old cab driver was even an option. We kissed, and then you disappeared to call your wife, who you’re still clearly in love with. It’s nothing to do with the “better story”, I’m not that shallow. Anyway, you’re not even a real cab driver, or especially old.’
His mouth twitches into a smile.
‘I’m not in love with her any more, Laura. She just left frayed ends that we needed to discuss.’ He pauses, rubbing his palm against his neck. ‘I’m sorry I disappeared; I didn’t know how to react to what happened.’ He lets out a heavy sigh as though he’s waiting for me to speak. When I don’t, he says, ‘Laura, my life is a mess. Did you know, I’m on leave of absence from work? I haven’t been to the hospital where I work for four months.’
My face must register surprise, because he gives me a rueful nod. ‘My hand started shaking, I didn’t feel safe in an operating theatre. My mind went straight to what Dad has, and if it was that, I didn’t want to know. The whole career I had planned would be over before it even began. So, I didn’t tell anyone why I needed time off. I finally saw a doctor a few weeks ago – she told me the shaking was down to stress. I’d worked myself up so much about what it might have been, I’d only made it worse.’
‘Oh, Ted, I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with that.’ I take a step towards him, to give him a hug, but he holds up a palm, as though to tell me to wait, he hasn’t finished.
‘I’ve got to sort out a divorce, I need to sell this house quickly to pay for Dad’s care …’ He exhales a long, slow breath and closes his eyes. ‘I can’t be saddled with the expectation of being someone’s romantic hero too. I met you three days ago, what promises can I possibly make you?’
The words hit me like a punch to my chest.
‘Of course not.’ I feel my cheeks burn. ‘It was just a kiss, Ted, I don’t expect anything from you.’
I make to walk up the grass to the waiting cab, not wanting my face to betray my disappointment. As I pass him, Ted reaches for my hand and pulls me around to face him.
‘It wasn’t just a kiss to me,’ he says firmly, his voice low. Searching his eyes, I see something I never want to let go of. Then his gaze drops to my arm, and he notices the bracelet I’m wearing.
‘What’s this?’ he asks, gently lifting my arm towards him so he can see.
‘I made it last night, from the jewellery you gave me.’
‘You put the sea glass into it.’
I nod. He turns the bracelet around on my wrist and, where his thumb touches my skin, I burn with a need for him to touch me again.
‘You did all this wiring yourself?’ he asks, running a finger around the silver wire.
I nod again.
‘It’s beautiful,’ he says, but he’s not looking at the bracelet any more, he’s looking at me.
‘What do you want me to do, Ted?’ I ask quietly, my heart pounding against my chest. There’s a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but then it vanishes.
‘Do you want me to ask you not to go, to give up your great suitcase story?’ he says, his voice hoarse. ‘I can’t offer you anything concrete, Laura. All I know is that I like spending time with you, I’d like to get to know you better. You’re the first person who I’ve wanted to kiss in ages, and that’s a big deal for me.’ Ted slides his hand down my arm to hold my hand again. ‘I guess with me you get a different type of baggage – and it won’t look so great on the cover of a magazine.’
I close my eyes, my fingers weave between his, the feel of his skin like a warm sea that I want to cover every part of me.
‘My boss is in Jersey, Ted. It’s all set up. I can’t let them all down at the last minute.’
He drops my hand, and my skin goes cold.
‘You’re right. It isn’t worth losing your job over.’
His words sting.
‘If I hadn’t met you, Jasper and I would work,’ I say, almost angrily. ‘We have everything in common, he’s my age, he’s single – he’s …’ I groan in frustration, not sure what I’m saying, or why I feel angry.
‘I get it. You don’t need to explain. I shouldn’t have made things more complicated for you.’
The cab driver beeps his horn.
‘Look, Ted,’ I close my eyes, trying to think, ‘just let me get this shoot out the way. It’s not like I’m marrying the guy – it’s a few photos. There’s nothing to stop you and I getting to know each other better after that. We could meet up in London when you’re back.’
‘You’d be telling the world that this is the man you’ve fallen for,’ says Ted. ‘You really want to do that, if it’s not true?’
Before I can reply, he brushes a hand through his hair and glances back up the hill to my waiting cab. Then he kicks the grass, turns, and walks towards the house. I’m left watching his broad back retreat from my reach. The judgement implicit in his words fuels my anger.
‘Maybe some girls need more than a “hey, let’s hang out”, Ted!’ I call after him in frustration. ‘I can’t risk my whole future on a “maybe”.’
Ted turns at the top of the garden, his jaw clenched. ‘You want me to turn up here in a horse-drawn carriage with a dozen roses? Maybe some fireworks in the sky spelling out how I feel? Laura, I like you and I think you like me. I’d hoped that would be enough for now.’
He turns to go into the house, not even waiting for me to respond. I clench my fists and run to the waiting cab. Of course I don’t need fireworks and roses, what an arsehole thing to say. But he’s expecting me to let everyone down, stand up poor Jasper – who’s been nothing but kind to me – all for a ‘I kind of like you’, like we’re seven years old or something? Plus, Ted’s life is a complete mess. I bite my lip so hard it hurts. I do feel terrible for him about his work situation, the stress he must be under, and I wish I could just go back and give him a hug – make sure he’s OK.
I dial Dee’s number on the phone Suki lent me. I need to make things right with her, and talking will distract me from fretting about Ted.
‘Hey, it’s Laura,’ I say.
‘Oh, hi.’ Her voice is cool.
‘So, um, I was just calling because I wanted to ask your opinion on the partisan nature of the way Supreme Court judges are appointed in the US. Do you think the system should be reviewed, especially when a nomination comes up during an election year?’
‘You did not call to ask me that.’ I can hear Dee smiling down the phone.
‘I did! I read an article about it and it’s fascinating, especially when you compare it to our own judicial system in the UK. I thought we could thrash out a solution between us, you know, two intelligent women, not talking about men.’
‘I would love to talk to you about that, and I know that’s your version of an apology.’
‘Oh Dee, don’t be angry. I’m sorry for what I said about Nei
l – of course I don’t think you settled. I love Neil – the way he talks about you with such pride, how he bought you a laminator for Christmas and you thought it was the best present ever. You are perfect for each other; I’m the relationship screw-up here.’
Dee sighs.
‘I’m sorry if I overreacted. Look, I love Neil, but sometimes it’s hard not to be jealous of all the excitement you get to have being single. I haven’t had half the drama in my lifetime that you’ve had on this one weekend away.’
‘Dee, I’d swap all this drama for a good man who loves me any day of the week.’
‘So, how’s it all going to end? This episode of Laura Land,’ Dee’s voice has softened. ‘I hope there is a happily ever after in there somewhere?’
‘Well, Suki is here in Jersey. Would you believe it? She flew out this morning. I think plot-wise I could use a tornado, a house to land on her, and then some red slippers to get me home.’
‘Or a minor alien invasion? Ooh, a body swap comedy where you become Suki? Now that I’d watch.’
‘I think I’d rather have the alien invasion – anyway I should go, wish me luck, love you.’
‘Love you too.’
After saying goodbye to Dee, I see I have a message from Vanya, warning me Suki is on her way to Jersey. I reply,
She already found me – I’m going to meet her now. Fear I’ve found myself in a bit of a Katniss/Gale/Peeta situation …
She’ll know what that means, Vanya loves The Hunger Games books.
Vanya: Which one is Suki? Peeta?
This makes me laugh.
Laura: No, Suki’s not a part of it. Well, maybe she’s Snow.
Vanya: I’m Team Gale all the way. On a date right now, but will call to hear all when he leaves. The fish miss you, as do I. X
At Jasper’s place, I find the rest of the team already there. Dionne and Saul have set up a lighting rig in the Malala kitchen. Suki is chatting away to Jasper as if they are old friends. I overhear them having a conversation about the advantages of polymer resin work surfaces. Jasper is wearing a fitted black T-shirt with ContessaKitchens.com written across the front in pink writing. As I walk over to them, Suki picks up the picture of Henry Cavill on the stag do, which is next to her on the side.
‘See, Laura, not so hard to find, is it?’
‘I’m not sure I can let you have that, though, Suki. I would need to ask the chaps if it’s OK,’ Jasper says, shifting his weight.
‘Oh, Jasper, don’t be such an old prude,’ Suki says, pouting at him and then prodding his chest with a finger.
Jasper actually blushes and then says quietly to me, ‘She’s hard to say no to, isn’t she?’
I don’t have time to respond, as Dionne pulls me into a chair and starts tugging at my hair.
‘Makeover time!’ cries Saul. ‘This is like the part of the movie where Dionne turns you from Plain Jane into Hot Hilary, and you finally get the guy.’ He winks.
‘I don’t think anyone would describe Laura as a Plain Jane,’ Dionne says, and I see her roll her eyes at Saul in the reflection of the portable make-up mirror she’s set up. ‘I’ve been looking forward to seeing what you look like with a full face of decent slap though.’
‘Don’t go too Kardashian, will you?’ I ask, feeling myself frown.
‘Sacrilege,’ Dionne hisses at me, but then she pulls out a make-up palette the size of a ping-pong table.
Jasper comes over and hands me a coffee then goes for a kiss on the lips, but misses slightly, and it’s a half cheek, half lip smack. Saul cocks his head and hugs himself, as though swooning at how cute we are.
‘I’m sorry about this circus, Jasper,’ I say quietly.
‘It’s fine, I enjoy a circus,’ he says, then he leans over and picks up three apples from a perfectly styled fruit bowl and starts juggling with them while pretending to walk an imaginary tight rope. ‘I was born for the circus!’
Saul laughs, Dionne claps, and even Suki smiles in approval. I can tell they all like him; he’s very easy to like. I think of all the ‘How Did You Meet?’ couples I’ve interviewed this year, and wonder if any of them ever had doubts they didn’t vocalise at the time. I wonder how many of those couples are still together.
Twenty minutes later, my hair has been styled to within an inch of its life. I’m wearing what feels like a cement mixer’s worth of make-up, highlighter, contouring cream, and who knows what else. Looking in the mirror, I think – Well, at least no one will recognise me.
‘Right.’ Suki claps her hands. ‘New plan. Laura, we’re going to broadcast a little interview live from the website, to trail the full write-up to come. The Travella marketing team loved the idea of a live “How Did You Meet?” with you both. So, we’ll knock that off first, then move on to the stills shots. Oh, and when you’re telling the story about the bag, you must make sure you mention the brand name – Travella. There are a few other brand partnerships I’ve added in there too – if you could say how much you love the smell of Colton Rouge products, Jasper’s preferred toiletry brand, plus socks from Greeves – “Where the discerning gentleman buys his footwear”.’
She’s throwing this on me at the last minute, so I don’t have time to object that my genuine ‘How Did You Meet?’ story is being turned into some kind of shopping channel infomercial. She pushes the case full of products in front of us, and then starts counting down to Live while Saul mans the camera phone on a tripod.
Jasper whispers in my ear, ‘You look gorgeous by the way.’
‘Good afternoon to all you romantics out there,’ Suki beams to the camera. ‘Now, our regular viewers will be used to hearing Laura Le Quesne’s voice hosting these interviews – she’s tracked down some of the most romantic meet-cutes out there. But today’s live broadcast is a little different – because this time, Laura finds herself on the other side of the camera. Laura, Jasper, tell us.’ Suki leaves a dramatic pause. ‘How did you meet?’
Before I can speak, Jasper jumps in.
‘Well, it all started when our eyes met across a crowded concourse at Gatwick Airport. I saw this beautiful creature and I just knew.’
I frown, then try to stop frowning, aware of the camera picking up every expression I make. Jasper’s not telling it right. The whole reason it’s a great story is because I found the suitcase first, that the contents led me to him, not that our ‘eyes met across a crowded concourse’.
‘Of course, being British, I didn’t know how to ask her out at the time, but destiny wasn’t going to let my reserve get the better of us.’ Jasper shoots a smouldering look to the camera and smooths down his T-shirt to make sure the lettering of his website is fully visible.
‘Right, yes, but really the story began when I picked up the wrong suitcase at the airport,’ I say, attempting to get the narrative back on track. ‘I only realised it wasn’t mine when I got back to my hotel room. At first, I was annoyed I didn’t have my case. But then I found all these things in the bag, these possessions that spoke to me. I thought it had to be a sign.’
Why did I agree to this? I thought it was going to be a few photos; speaking to a camera feels like much more of a commitment.
‘What was in the Travella case, Laura?’ asks Suki, wide-eyed, willing me to keep performing.
‘Well, there was a book of piano music – Phil Collins, I’ve always loved Phil – and—’
Jasper starts singing ‘In the Air Tonight’. Out of frame, Suki flaps her hands at him angrily, but says lightly, ‘Ha ha, I don’t think we have clearance for song lyrics, Jasper. What else was in the case, Laura, tell us about the Colton Rouge?’
Saul is making a face at me from behind the camera, as though he’s watching his favourite cashmere jumper get tumble-dried. Dionne is leaning against the wall, watching Jasper as though he’s a box full of newborn puppies.
‘Oh, right.’ My heart sinks down into a puddle inside of me, where it finds my soul squatting like a miserably deflated balloon animal. ‘I just love the smell
of Colton Rouge, and I knew any man who had such great taste in toiletries had to be the man for me.’
Now I sound like a complete wally. Who goes for a guy based on their discerning taste in fragrances? Then I remember my checklist, all the things I thought were so important, like being well dressed, musical, having the same tastes as me. Jasper gives my arm a squeeze, as though he senses I’ve lost enthusiasm for the sales pitch and is nudging me to keep the energy up.
‘I’ve also got great socks,’ cuts in Jasper with a click of his fingers.
Suki is shooting daggers at me, probably because I’ve stopped smiling.
My hands ball into fists, a bead of sweat trickles down my back, my breathing grows shallow. All these years I’ve defended my job, focused on the positive elements and ignored the parts that made me uncomfortable. Suki says we’re all one big happy family, but now I see her scowling across at me, I know she doesn’t have a single motherly feeling towards me. Any loyalty I felt going through with this shoot for her sake was entirely misplaced.
To keep my hands still, I thrust them into the pockets of my trousers. My fingers find the blue sea glass, the mermaid’s tear Ted gave me on the beach. I rub the surface of the stone between my fingers.
‘The moment Laura and I met to exchange our bags, right here, in this gorgeous Contessa Kitchen, with all these bespoke fixtures and fittings, I saw straight away how much we had in common,’ Jasper grins at me.
He really is lovely, and sweet and incredibly good-looking, in a Christian Bale, Ken doll sort of way.
But he is not Ted.
And ‘I like you’ from Ted is enough.
Never mind the fact that Ted can’t promise me anything beyond today. I’d rather have one day with him, even if it leads nowhere, than spend my time with anyone else. And maybe I’ll lose my job, and I have no idea what to do next, but as the proverbial Gerry said – maybe that’s OK.
Suki coughs.
‘What have you got there, Laura, what are you fiddling with?’ Suki says in a trying-not-to-sound-furious-because-we’re-live-but-clearly-bloody-furious voice.
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