Barely Breathing (Colorado High Country #1)

by Pamela Clare

  She tugged up his T-shirt, slid her palms over the shifting muscles of his belly and chest, the feel of him turning her on—the rasp of his chest hair, the hardness of his muscles, the softness of his skin.

  He shifted onto his side, rucked her dress up to her hips, and pulled the crotch of her panties aside to cup her, his fingers parting her, teasing her, testing her.

  Oh, it felt good.

  She yanked his jeans open, freed his erection, and stroked his length, the feel of his cock making her hungry to taste him. But before she got that chance, he lifted himself away from her. For a moment, she believed it was over.

  Disappointment lanced through her. Oh, she had so wanted this.

  He flicked on the light on his nightstand and took something out of a drawer.

  A condom.

  Oh, thank God.

  She started to tell him that she was protected. She’d gotten an IUD when she and Chris had started dating. But she and Austin had both been with other people these past 12 years, and right now she didn’t feel like talking about their sexual histories.

  She didn’t feel like talking at all.

  He tore the wrapper open with his teeth, then sat back on his knees and rolled the condom down the length of his erection, watching her as she wriggled out of her panties.

  Still wearing her dress and bra, she smiled up at him, bent her knees, and let her thighs fall open.

  His gaze went right where she knew it would, his blue eyes going dark, the breath leaving his lungs in a rush. “Jesus, Lexi.”

  He settled himself between her thighs, his mouth reclaiming hers as he nudged himself slowly into her.

  She moaned against his lips, lifting her hips to meet him, impatient to have all of him inside her. “Oh! My. God.”

  She’d forgotten how perfectly he filled her.

  And then he began to move.

  There was nothing in the world like this sensation—the slick glide, the precious stretch, the piercing sweetness. Hungry for the feel of him, she slid her hands under his shirt, over the muscles of his back, and down to his bare ass, mounds of muscle bunching beneath her palms as he fucked her. No other man had ever done for her what Austin did. He knew just what she liked, and, oh, Christ alive, he didn’t miss a beat, moving up and down against her, his pubic bone and the base of his cock rubbing her aching clit, making her crazy, frantic, desperate.

  She came with a cry, the sweet shock of orgasm singing through her.

  He stayed with her, whispering her name, pressing kisses to her face until the quaking inside her began to fade.

  She opened her eyes, looked up at him, a strange ache in her chest. “Austin.”

  His pupils were dilated, a strained expression on his face, the muscles of his neck and shoulders tense. Without breaking eye contact, he shifted his weight, adjusted the angle of his hips, and let himself go, thrusting into her.

  He went slowly at first, his eyes drifting shut as he picked up the pace, driving into her hard and fast, his deep strokes sending her headlong toward a second climax. When she came this time, he was right behind her, moaning out his pleasure against her cheek as he shook apart in her arms.

  Unwilling to rush, Austin stayed where he was, pressing kisses to Lexi’s face, his pulse still pounding, his body floating. Her eyes were closed, a slight smile on her lips, her fingers tracing the length of his spine beneath his T-shirt.

  He ought to be angry at himself. This shouldn’t have happened. It would be a big mistake to get mixed up with Lexi Jewell again. And yet he couldn’t seem to muster any real regret, because, well …

  God in heaven.

  He’d spent years telling himself that his memories of her were blown out of proportion by teenage hormones and breakup angst. She’d been his first serious relationship, his first lover, his first heartbreak. There’s no way that sex with her could have been that good.

  Well, he’d been right—sort of.

  Sex with Lexi wasn’t good. It was incendiary.

  He couldn’t remember the last time an orgasm had taken him apart like that, and he was fairly certain she’d left claw marks on his ass.

  “Am I heavy?” He must outweigh her by a good seventy pounds now.

  “No.” Her voice was soft, sexy, sleepy.

  He felt something thudding against the mattress and glanced over his shoulder to see Mack sitting at the foot of the bed near his feet, tail wagging.

  Lexi laughed. “You didn’t tell me your puppy was a voyeur.”

  “For God’s sake, Mack. Can’t I get any privacy?” Austin lifted his weight off Lexi, tossed the condom in the trash, and cleaned himself up with a tissue. “It’s bad enough that he follows me to the bathroom. You hungry?”

  She sat up, smiled. “Starving.”

  They walked downstairs to the kitchen, Mack at their heels.

  Austin settled the puppy in his crate for the night, then searched the fridge, grabbing bread, sliced cheese, a tomato, and butter. “How does a grilled cheese sandwich sound?”

  “Yum.” She looked through his cupboards, found a skillet. “I suppose we should talk about what just happened.”

  “Why? I don’t regret it. Do you?”

  Her lips curved in a shy smile. “God, no.”

  “Then what is there to talk about? We’re both adults.”

  She watched him, seemed to consider this. “I’m going back to Chicago.”

  The words sliced through him. “I know. When?”

  “I’m not sure. It depends on the situation with my dad and Kendra. Also, I need to decide whether to start my own firm or look for a job. I’m guessing I’ll be here for a few more weeks—long enough to finish the audit, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

  “I wasn’t thinking about the audit. I was thinking about us.”

  “Eric says you think I’m an ogre.”

  “A … what?” He made a mental note to kick Hawke’s ass.

  “Ha! That is not a denial.”

  Austin sliced the tomato. “I don’t recall ever saying you were an ogre. A bitch, sure, but not an ogre.”

  She glared at him. “Oh, well, I’m glad we got that cleared up.”

  “Hey, I was eighteen and heartbroken.”

  “I never meant to hurt you, you know. I didn’t even want us to break up. I spent the rest of that summer crying.”

  This wasn’t news.

  Everyone in town had seemed hell-bent on making sure he understood how upset Lexi was. After all, it was an unofficial rule of high school dating that when a girl broke up with her boyfriend, she was making good life choices, empowering herself, moving ahead, while a boy who broke up with his girlfriend was just an asshole.

  He set the knife down and turned to face her. “Let’s not ruin tonight by dredging all of that up. That was twelve years ago. We both made mistakes. As for tonight, we both know it can’t go anywhere. I’m staying. You’re leaving. Same old, same old. So let’s just enjoy each other’s company—no expectations, no strings.”

  Her lips curved in a slow smile. “Are you saying you want to be friends with benefits?”

  “If that’s what you want to call it.” He’d never been into casual sex, and some part of him knew he’d pay a high price for getting involved with Lexi again. But damn if he could walk away from this.

  He was a freaking idiot but, for the moment, a happy one.

  She leaned back against the counter, looked up at him from beneath her dark lashes. “What kind of benefits exactly?”

  He closed the distance between them in a single step and reached beneath her wrinkled dress to cup her through her panties—only to discover she hadn’t bothered to put her panties back on. “Holy fuck, Lexi.”

  He rucked up Lexi’s dress, lifted her off her feet, and settled her on the edge of the counter, then dropped to his knees before her.

  Chapter 8

  Lexi fought to balance herself on the edge of the counter, her gasp of surprise becoming a moan as Austin went to work on her w
ith his mouth.

  Somewhere nearby, her cell phone rang, the sound barely registering.

  “God, I love your pussy.” His words sent a bolt of pure lust sheering through her, even as his tongue began to stroke her.

  “Mmm.” She slid the fingers of one hand into his hair, the palm of her other hand splayed on the countertop. “Perfect.”

  Whatever he was doing—it was better than perfect, his lips and tongue bringing her to full arousal in a heartbeat. He’d always been good with his mouth, better than any man she’d dated. How did he do this to her?

  She willed herself to open her eyes and find out, only to discover him looking up at her, watching her. The intensity in his blue eyes made her pulse skip, the sight of his mouth covering her clit almost making her come right then. Then the corners of his eyes turned up as if he were smiling—and he slowly drew back, his lips gliding over the swollen nub, tugging on her clit, catching and stretching one sensitive inner lip.

  “Austin.” She moaned, her head falling back, her hand fisting in his hair, the sensations almost too good to be real.

  And then she understood.

  Austin was better at this than other guys because he truly enjoyed going down on her. He wasn’t just doing it so that she’d go down on him. He loved tasting her.

  He gave a little groan, then took her into his mouth again, penetrating her with his fingers, caressing that sensitive spot inside her.

  It felt so good, so good. She wanted it to last forever. She wanted to stay right here with his mouth on her forever.

  “Don’t. Stop.” Barely able to breathe, she got the words out somehow.

  But he clearly had no intention of stopping, his lips and tongue and fingers relentless, coaxing her to the brink and holding her there.

  OhGod! OhGod! OhGod!

  She couldn’t say whether she’d said it aloud or just thought it, the pleasure almost unbearable, need driving her out of her mind. Up and up and up she went, until she was flying. She heard herself cry out, climax exploding through her, bright and beautiful, carrying her out of this world and leaving her to drift.

  Awestruck, she opened her eyes, found Austin still watching her, his pupils dark, his wet lips pressing soft kisses against her sensitive inner thighs.

  He rose slowly, his gaze never leaving hers, one hand jerking down his zipper, while the other drew a condom from his pocket.

  She took the packet, tore it open with her teeth, then slid the condom over the length of his erection, aching to have him inside her. “How do you want me?”

  “Choices, choices.” His words were humorous, but his voice was deep, husky.

  He drew her off the counter and against him, kissed her hard, her own musky taste flooding her mouth. Then he released her and turned her to face away from him, one hand sliding beneath her dress, lifting it high above her hips.

  She bent over the counter, arched her lower back, and spread her legs for him.

  “Oh, hell, yeah.” His hands caressed the bare skin of her ass and teased the entrance to her vagina, and she knew he was savoring the view.

  She wiggled her bottom impatiently. “Fuck me, Austin.”

  “In a hurry?” He slowly nudged himself into her, filling her completely, the thick, hard feel of him making her moan. “Lexi.”

  He whispered her name, gave a few slow and easy thrusts, then let himself go, driving into her harder and faster, his breath going ragged.

  Lexi held fast to the counter, the power of his thrusts almost lifting her feet off the floor, his cock striking the sweet spot inside her. Then he reached around and caught her clit between two of his fingers, squeezing, tugging, teasing.

  The world shattered around her as she came, Austin a split second behind her, their moans mingling as pleasure flooded them both.

  Austin withdrew from Lexi, holding fast to the condom, tossed it in the trash, and cleaned himself up with a wet paper towel. He turned to find Lexi leaning against the counter as if she didn’t quite trust her legs to support her, her cheeks still flushed, her dress tugged back into place. She was adorably disheveled, her long hair tangled, one lacy white bra strap having slipped down her arm, her dress now hopelessly wrinkled. She looked like a woman who’d just gotten thoroughly laid.

  Their gazes met, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

  “What?” she asked, smiling.

  “We’ve had sex twice, and we haven’t undressed yet.”

  She laughed, her cheeks getting pinker. “That sounds like us.”

  It sure did. Except that there was no “us.” Not really.

  Friends with benefits.

  That’s all this was. That’s all it could be.

  He resisted the impulse to pull her into his arms and kiss her, ignored the strange tenderness that had blossomed behind his breastbone, turning his attention instead to the stove. “Okay, where were we before you distracted me with your private parts?”

  He couldn’t afford to let his emotions get tangled in this. She’d be gone in a few weeks, running away from Scarlet and back to the city that had been so cruel to her. There was nothing he could do to change that, so he needed to enjoy this for what it was and not get caught up in her.

  What if it’s already too late?

  He ignored that voice, focused on making grilled cheese, kept the conversation light as they ate, washing their late-night post-sex snack down with a couple of beers. And then it was time to drive her home.

  She said goodbye to Mack, who whined in his crate as she walked away, then they climbed into Austin’s SUV and backed out of the driveway.

  “I got the okay to have you ride along.” He’d forgotten to tell her. “Just let me know when you’d like to go.”

  “How about Monday?”

  “Monday it is.”

  They talked about little things after that—how clear the sky was, the stars, the forecast for the rest of the week. How strange it felt and how familiar—driving through the dark with her beside him, pulling up in front of the inn, opening the door of his vehicle for her.

  She hopped to the ground, a frown on her face. “Kendra’s truck isn’t here.”

  “You were hoping she’d move back in tonight?”

  Lexi nodded, clearly disappointed. “Maybe it was too late when she left, and she’ll move back in tomorrow.”

  “Give it time.”

  Lexi looked up at him, smiled. “Tonight was wonderful. Thanks.”

  “My pleasure.” It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he cared about her, that he’d never stopped caring about her, that he’d been an idiot to end things the way he had, but he bit back those words. “See you Monday—if not sooner.”

  He ducked down to give her a light kiss on the lips, but she caught his face between her palms and kissed him hard.

  “You were always the best,” she whispered.

  Then she turned and walked away, looking back over her shoulder at him, her lips curved in a little smile.

  Austin stood there as if his feet had grown roots, watching until she was safely inside, the scent of her still on his skin. When the kitchen light came on, he climbed back into his Tahoe and drove home, feeling strangely contented—and a little worried that he’d lost his ever-loving mind.

  Still smiling, Lexi stepped inside the kitchen, flicked on the light—and froze.

  Her dad sat there in his underwear, a bottle of whisky on the table in front of him. He spoke with slurred words, his tone sharp with anger. “Where the hell’ve you been?”

  Her stomach sank. Clearly, things hadn’t gone well. “You’re drunk.”

  “You damned well better believe I’m drunk.”

  She pointed to the bottle. “Where did you get that?”

  “I told Rose you stole it from me. She gave it back.”

  Wasn’t that wonderful?

  Now Lexi would have to apologize to Rose.

  She crossed the room, reached for the bottle, but her father yanked it away and staggered to his feet, cradling i
t against his chest, amber liquid sloshing.

  “Nope, girl. Nope. You’re not takin’ this from me again. It’s my Glen... my Glenm’rangie.”

  “What happened with Kendra?”

  “Your little plan didn’t work. When she found out you hired Rain and not me, she got up and stomped out that door.” He made a sweeping motion toward the door, then sat again and took another drink.

  Lexi slid into a chair, buried her face in her hands. “No, Dad.”

  How could her father be so completely inept with his wife?

  “Man, she was pissed. You shoulda seen her.”

  Lexi looked up. “What exactly did you say?”

  He frowned as if struggling to remember. “She told me she was glad I’d changed my mind about hiring someone, and I told her I hadn’t changed my mind at all. I told her you’d done all of it without my permi... permission. S’the truth, isn’t it?”

  Yes, it was the truth—and the best way Lexi could imagine for her father to ensure that Kendra divorced him.

  Lexi grabbed the bottle from her father, walked to the sink, and dumped the whisky down the drain, her father apparently too drunk to realize what she was doing.

  “You know what you’ve done, Dad? You’ve wrecked everything. All you had to do was tell her how much you miss her and how much she means to you, and she’d have come back. Instead, you might as well have told her you want a divorce.”

  “But I don’t want a divorce. Why would she think that?”

  Lexi would have to call Kendra in the morning and try to smooth things over. She could only hope it wasn’t too late.

  Her dad still didn’t understand. “The woman got what she wanted, didn’t she? Why does it matter who hired Rain?”

  “It matters. Trust me, Dad. It matters.”

  Lexi dropped the empty whisky bottle into the recycling bin and turned toward the hallway, certain that anything she said to her father now would be forgotten by morning. She needed to wait until he was sober again. And then she would explain it all in language even he could understand.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to bed, and so are you. It’s late.”