by Laura Conway
“It wasn’t. I think if I wasn’t counting my breaths, my mind would have been all over the place.”
“It’s a good way to start… How do you feel?”
“Okay. Weird… Lighter?”
“Even the breathing on its own will make you feel better. Most people don’t breathe properly throughout the day. Their breaths are too shallow so you might feel a little light headed right now.”
Abbey nodded. “So, I should try doing that every day?”
“First thing in the morning… You can start with two or five-minute sessions. Ten or twenty minutes will probably be too overwhelming to start with.”
“Okay. Thanks,” Abbey said, uncrossing her legs. “I’ll do that.”
They both stood up and Abbey could feel Payton’s eyes on her.
“Does your racing mind have anything to do with the fact that you’ve been staying here for a month now and we have to talk about what we’re going to do?”
Abbey couldn’t help smiling. She hadn’t known Payton that long at all but she already knew her better than a lot of her friends in New York.
“Yes,” Abbey said. “That obvious?”
“I’m kind of anxious about it too so… I get it. Let’s go downstairs, get some coffee and see what we want to do.”
“Okay.”
Abbey followed her downstairs and when they both had a mug of coffee in their hands, they sat down on the couch.
Abbey smiled. “I feel like we’re on a first date and we’re both too shy to say anything.”
Payton laughed. “Okay, well since I was the one who suggested this little experiment, I might as well be the first to offer my opinion on how I think it went.”
“That seems fair,” Abbey said, wiping her sweaty palm on the side of her shorts.
“Well, you’re incredibly easy to live with. You’re clean, quiet, and considerate. You’re also a pretty good cook.”
“Pretty good?”
“Well, I don’t want to boost your ego too much, especially when we might have another eleven months of this.”
“What are you saying?” Abbey asked.
“I’m happy to keep going if you are.”
“Of course, I am,” Abbey said, putting her coffee down to pull Payton into a hug.
“You’re sure?” Payton asked.
“Yes.”
“Don’t feel like you have to commit to anything. You’re not going to have to sign an eleven-month contract or anything. I’m happy to have you here for the rest of your time in Florida if that works for you but if at any point you want to try out something new, check out a different city, I’m okay with that.”
“Thanks, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be staying here. I love being so close to the beach.”
“And the company of course.”
“That too,” Abbey said with a smile. “We just have to work out a price.”
“I really feel bad taking anything off you when you have to deal with me. This isn’t the quiet house you signed up for. Just chip in on the bills.”
“What?”
“Yes, and I don’t think it’s worth arguing over. We haven’t had a fight yet so let’s keep it that way,” Payton said firmly.
“You would have made a good lawyer… Very persuasive.”
Payton smiled. “Charming more than persuasive, I’d like to think.”
“Well, you’ve got something anyway… What do you want for breakfast? It’s my turn,” Abbey said as she padded into the kitchen.
She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she had a feeling that the next eleven months were going to be some of the best in her life.
Chapter Sixteen
March 4th
“So, this is the place to be on a Saturday night?” Abbey asked Payton, leaning in so she could hear her over the band that was playing.
“For me it is… It’s a lot different than the last time you were here. They moved the pool table down the back and they got rid of the tables that were on the stage.”
“Another beer?”
Payton nodded and Abbey motioned to the bartender for two more bottles.
“Anyone catch your eye?” Abbey asked her as she handed Payton her drink.
“It’s always the same faces… I’m just waiting for someone to come over here and pounce on you…”
“Nothing to do with my good looks?”
Payton laughed. “Well, that doesn’t hurt.”
Abbey watched Payton’s eyes lock on a woman across the room.
“What about her?” Abbey asked.
“Fuck my life.”
“What?”
“That’s my ex. Rachel… I haven’t seen her since we broke up. I didn’t think I’d ever have to see her again.”
“What happened? I know you said she cheated…”
“She was my mentor when I first got into photography professionally… That’s how we ended up dating a few years later but I didn’t realize that she was sleeping with her new mentee… It’s her thing apparently. I somehow thought I was special.”
Abbey reached for Payton’s arm. “Come on, you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“I should have seen it coming.”
“So, she was a complete asshole?”
“Pretty much.”
“Let’s make her jealous,” Abbey suggested with a grin.
“What?”
“I’ll be your girlfriend for the night.”
“Abbey, you don’t have to do that.”
“Is that her?” Abbey asked, taking another look at the dark-haired woman and the younger brunette beside her. “The mentee?”
“Yeah.”
“Come on,” Abbey said. “We were probably going to spend the night standing beside each other, listening to the band. Now, I’ll just slip my arm around your waist and maybe you could look at me lovingly once and a while.”
They left the bar and stood at the back of the crowd that was around the stage. Abbey did put her arm around Payton’s waist, just as she’d promised.
Payton leaned into her, their shoulders touching. They were both too buzzed for it to be awkward and they had become close in the last month anyway so it didn’t feel strange to Abbey.
They sang along to the songs they knew until the band said ‘Goodnight’ a half hour later and left the stage to make room for the DJ to get set up.
“Something stronger than beer this time?” Abbey asked as they made their way back to the bar.
“I think so…”
“Whiskey and coke?”
“Sure… I’ll get these,” Payton said, resting her arms on the bar.
Abbey glanced over at Rachel and her new girlfriend and figured that Rachel was probably around her age, late thirties, maybe early forties.
“So, you’ve got a thing for older women,” Abbey said with a smile when they had their drinks. “At least this is believable then.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“And she clearly has a thing for younger women… I’m sorry she fucked you over like that. You deserve better.”
“Thanks… Cheers,” Payton said, clinking their tumblers together.
“Cheers.”
Abbey met Payton’s glacial blue eyes and she thought she saw a glint of happiness in them. She’d hate to see Rachel ruin her night.
Abbey knew it wouldn’t be hard to make Rachel jealous. Payton looked amazing in all black, her toned arms visible with the racerback tank top she was wearing, her blond hair straight tonight and flowing over her shoulders.
The DJ was ready to go and the dancefloor quickly filled up when she played the first song. Abbey finished her drink and reached for Payton’s hand, leading her out onto the crowded dancefloor.
“We’re dancing?” Payton asked with a smirk.
“What better way to make Rachel jealous?”
Abbey stayed close to Payton which was easy to do on the small dancefloor. She could see Rachel out of the corner of her eye and Abbey knew she was wa
tching.
Abbey rested one hand on Payton’s hip as they moved to the music and Payton played along, staying close to Abbey as they danced.
They stayed out on the dancefloor for a few songs and even though they started off in the middle of the floor, now they were almost against the wall.
Abbey’s eyes locked onto Payton’s and she almost forgot that they were supposed to be pretending to be together. Her eyes flickered down to Payton’s lips and Abbey had to dart them away again. She couldn’t let herself get carried away.
“I kind of feel like we should kiss,” Payton said with a laugh in between songs. “But I don’t want to make you feel-”
Abbey didn’t let Payton finish her sentence. The music was playing again and all Abbey could think about was leaning in to kiss her.
Abbey’s hand cupped Payton’s neck, her thumb lightly caressing her cheek, as her lips brushed across Payton’s.
Abbey kissed her softly at first but their kiss deepened as Payton backed her up against the wall, her hands on Abbey’s waist, and their lips met again and again.
Abbey cupped Payton’s cheek, kissing her back passionately, no longer caring about Rachel or what she thought. This was real. For her it was anyway.
Payton melted into her and a tingling sensation ran through Abbey’s body when their tongues met in a slow and erotic dance.
Abbey couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this kind of instant chemistry with someone or kissed anyone with this intensity and desire.
Payton pulled away and Abbey’s eyes slowly opened. Payton looked just as shocked as Abbey felt but Payton couldn’t hide the desire that was there in her steel blue eyes.
What a first kiss…
Abbey swallowed the lump in her throat and let Payton take her hand and lead them back to the bar.
“I’m going to have to assume that was pretty convincing,” Payton said, looking back in the direction where Rachel was. “I think they left.”
Abbey just nodded. What could she say? That it was convincing because it was amazing? That she didn’t think she’d ever been kissed like that before?
“Same again?” Payton asked.
“Yes. Please.”
Abbey ran a hand through her hair and took a long look around the bar. Payton was right. Rachel and her girlfriend had left.
Part of her was relieved. There wouldn’t be any drama tonight but Abbey felt almost empty inside. They had no reason to kiss again tonight unless either of them admitted that there was something there, that they weren’t just pretending.
Abbey sighed and turned to see Payton with two tumblers.
“Thank you,” Abbey said, lifting her glass to her.
“No. Thank you. You didn’t have to do that,” Payton said, motioning to the dancefloor, “But I’m glad you did. I didn’t think I was one for revenge but that felt pretty good,” Payton said with a smile as she brought her tumbler to her lips.
Abbey tried to smile back but her stomach was doing flip flops. The high she’d been briefly on after kissing Payton was gone. It was just her. Payton wasn’t thinking of it as anything more than what Abbey had suggested, a way to make Rachel jealous.
Abbey spent the rest of the night drinking and dancing with random women. She couldn’t face dancing with Payton again. When Payton led her out onto the dancefloor, Abbey quickly got lost in the crowd and danced more on her own than with Payton.
She knew that she’d want to pick up where they’d left off and the whiskey wasn’t helping with her willpower. So, Abbey just stayed away.
The night went by in a blur and while she’d had a good time, Abbey spent the taxi ride back to Payton’s replaying their kiss and the way Payton had looked at her when she pulled away, again questioning whether this could really be one sided.
Chapter Seventeen
March 5th
Abbey woke up with a start, nearly falling off the couch.
“Sorry!” Payton called from the kitchen. She was emptying the dishwasher but she must have clattered a few glasses or plates and woken Abbey up.
“Why am I on the couch?” Abbey asked more to herself than Payton.
“When we got back last night you went straight for it and you were out cold in a few seconds.”
Abbey nodded but the pain radiating from her head got worse so she stayed still for a moment, trying to swallow but her mouth was too dry.
Payton brought over a glass of water and a mug of coffee a few seconds later as if she could read Abbey’s mind.
“Thank you,” Abbey whispered when Payton sat down beside her with her own cup of coffee. Abbey took a long drink of water and covered her face in her hands. “I’m getting too old for this.”
Payton put her arm around her and Abbey tried to ignore the chill that ran through her body when Payton’s hand wrapped around her back, gently rubbing her.
“Maybe we should have switched back to beer instead of staying on the whiskey all night,” Payton said with a soft laugh.
Abbey glanced over at her, wondering how she did it. Payton looked like she was well rested with no trace of a hangover. Her blond hair was in loose waves, half up and half down, her eyes bluer than ever.
“You don’t even look like you were out last night,” Abbey said as she took another drink of water. “And I’m on death’s door.”
“I drank some water before I went to bed and I had a shower this morning along with the cure. Do you want some?”
Abbey laughed and she fell back into the cushions.
“It worked last time,” Payton said as she stood up. “Didn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Give me five minutes,” Payton said, padding into the kitchen to make her famous smoothie.
“Thank you.”
Abbey closed her eyes and tried to have a power nap while Payton was in the kitchen but the hum of the blender made it impossible.
“Here you go,” Payton said, sitting down beside her again and handing her a glass, the contents as green as the grass outside.
“Thanks.”
Abbey sipped on the smoothie, not wanting to upset her delicate stomach.
“I have a fashion shoot in New York tomorrow,” Payton said, holding her mug in her lap.
“Oh yeah?”
“I’m leaving tonight. I’ll be gone for four nights probably.”
“I promise I won’t throw any wild parties,” Abbey said with a grin.
Payton smiled. “Good, because I was so worried… Seriously, you’re okay with being on your own for a few nights? You know how the alarm works and everything?”
“Yes. I’ll be fine. Did you just get the job?”
Payton nodded. “Yeah. I was the backup which is fine. I didn’t have any weddings booked so I said, ‘Why not?’”
Abbey took another gulp of her smoothie and she suddenly remembered what happened last night. She glanced over at Payton, a tingling sensation running through her body, all the way to her fingertips.
Were they just going to ignore it?
Yes… Probably, because it wasn’t real. We were just pretending last night and I was the one who had suggested it.
If I tell Payton that I felt something… She’s going to think that that’s why I wanted to pose as her girlfriend last night, so I could dance with her, so I could kiss her and it wasn’t like that. I wanted Payton to have a good time and not to let Rachel ruin her night.
Abbey sighed.
“You okay?” Payton asked.
“Yeah… Feeling better. Thanks for this.”
“No problem… I better go get organized,” Payton said as she stood up. “Take it easy today.”
Abbey nodded and watched her climb the stairs.
How did this happen?
Chapter Eighteen
March 8th
Abbey sprinted the last stretch of beach in front of her, pushing herself to run harder, her sneakers kicking up sand with each step.
She took a few deep breaths as she slowed down and jogged
the last few yards to the wooden walkway that led back up to the street. She stretched before she walked home, the calls of seagulls and the calming swoosh of the ocean in the distance.
Abbey felt like a new woman. She didn’t know if it was the kiss or the fact that she’d had the last three days to herself. She’d been meditating every morning and she was finally starting to feel relaxed.
She hadn’t forgotten about the kiss. She just chose to look at that night with a different perspective. Yes, she was attracted to Payton. Somehow that happened. She didn’t know when but it had.
She decided she wasn’t going to worry about it or overthink it. It happened and if Payton wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it, then neither was she.
Abbey was going to go out tonight and enjoy herself. She followed the bar that she’d been to with Payton a few times on Facebook and they had a DJ there tonight so she decided to go out and have a few drinks.
She wouldn’t know anyone there but she needed to get out of her comfort zone. She loved hanging out with Payton but she hadn’t met anyone else since she’d moved here.
Abbey planned on having a relaxing day, maybe taking some photos or reading and then she’d head out tonight. She was feeling better than she had in months and she planned on taking full advantage of it.
* * *
Abbey made her way to the bar and ordered herself another whiskey and coke. She knew that she shouldn’t, especially after the other night and the hangover that followed, but she was nervous and she needed the confidence that a few whiskeys always gave her.
She’d made eye contact with a few women across the room but she hadn’t approached anyone yet. She’d found a nice spot where she could lean against the bar and survey the room.
I should just pretend I’m at a work event, that I’m looking for clients, then I wouldn’t be so nervous.
“Hey.”
Abbey turned to see who it was. She recognized the blond-haired woman but couldn’t figure out why.
“It’s Abbey, right?”
Then she remembered. “Claire.” She’d approached Abbey the first night that she came here with Payton, when they’d played pool.