by Laura Conway
“We just kissed… It’s not like we’re dating.”
“Okay,” Payton said.
“Okay we’re pretending to be together or…”
Payton downed the rest of her drink and reached for Abbey’s hand, leading her out onto the dancefloor, both of them easily moving to the music after a few drinks.
When the DJ changed things up and played a slow song, Abbey felt her pulse quicken, wondering how Payton was going to react.
She still didn’t know if they were pretending to be together or not. They’d danced next to each other for the first few songs but they hadn’t touched.
Abbey’s eyes met Rachel’s across the room. She was standing at the bar, staring at them.
Abbey darted her eyes away, deciding that she wanted to make her jealous, even if Payton didn’t.
Abbey ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face, closing her eyes for a few seconds as she moved to the music. She imagined kissing Payton again, tasting her lips while they swayed to the music.
When she opened her eyes again, Payton was just inches away, her hands sliding around Abbey’s waist.
They didn’t say anything and Abbey swallowed the lump in her throat. She didn’t think she’d ever felt sexier. Payton’s eyes were locked onto hers, her desire impossible to hide.
Abbey tilted her head as their bodies came together, reaching up to cup Payton’s cheek as their lips met in an intoxicating kiss.
Abbey couldn’t stifle the moan that escaped her mouth when their tongues met, their kisses more daring tonight than they were the last time they were on the dancefloor, just a few feet from where they were standing now.
Payton’s hands were on her hips, keeping her close and Abbey resisted the urge to pull away to gaze into her eyes. She was afraid that if they stopped, the spell would be broken and they’d both realize that they’d gotten carried away.
Abbey’s breath caught when Payton’s hand slid up her side, over her top, across her bare arm until she reached the nape of Abbey’s neck, pulling her in, deepening the kiss even more.
The ground shifted underneath Abbey’s feet. She was in a world of her own, one that she was sure must be a dream, forgetting all about the people that surrounded them on the dancefloor and Rachel who was certainly getting a show.
Rachel was the last thing on Abbey’s mind now though, even though this wouldn’t be happening if it weren’t for her.
Payton was all that Abbey could think about. If she thought their first kiss was electrifying, she had no words for this one.
The chemistry was undeniable and the tingling rush of desire that was making its way through Abbey’s body, from her fingertips down to her throbbing sex, was telling her that if they didn’t put on the breaks soon, they’d be heading straight for Payton’s bed.
And that’s exactly what I want… Payton leading me into her bedroom, pushing me back against the bed, her body covering mine as her hands slide underneath my top…
“Abbey,” Payton breathed, breaking their kiss.
Abbey could barely hear her whisper her name with the noise of the bar and the music all around them. She grabbed Payton’s hand and led them outside and into the back of a waiting taxi.
Abbey gave the driver her address, still holding onto Payton’s hand, their hands clasped on Abbey’s lap.
“Please don’t say anything,” Abbey whispered as the car pulled away and they stayed silent for the rest of the journey.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Payton closed the door behind them and Abbey ran a hand through her hair as she bent down to take off her heels, leaving them beside the door.
“We should probably be drinking water,” Abbey said as she padded into the kitchen, “But I think whiskey is what I need right now.”
“Make that two… Please.”
“I’m having mine on the rocks.”
“Perfect,” Payton said as she flopped down on the couch, leaning forward slightly with her elbows on her knees and her hands covering her face.
Abbey brought over two tumblers and sat down beside her, the ice rattling against the glass as she gave Payton hers.
“Thanks,” Payton said, bringing the glass to her lips.
“So…”
“Abbey, look… Before you say anything. I want to thank you… For doing that… You didn’t have to. I didn’t think we’d see Rachel again.”
“We’re both single,” Abbey said with a shrug. “I didn’t mind.”
Abbey took a drink, her hand shaking slightly as she brought her tumbler to her lips. If she was going to say something… She should probably say it now.
“Well, thank you,” Payton said. “I know it was only a bit of fun but-”
“What if it was more than that?”
“What?” Payton asked, turning to face her.
“What if it wasn’t act? What if there’s something there?”
Payton took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. You’re leaving.”
“So, you admit that there is something going on between us?”
“I don’t know,” Payton said softly, taking another drink. “I don’t know. But like I said, it doesn’t matter. Your life is in New York and mine’s here. There’s no point…”
“Okay,” Abbey said, knocking back the rest of her drink. She left her empty glass on the coffee table in front of them and pushed herself up off the couch.
“Abbey…”
“I’m going to bed. Good night.”
Abbey didn’t look back. She didn’t want Payton to see the tears in her eyes. She didn’t know where they came out of. She wanted to blame them on the alcohol, that she was being more emotional than usual, but she knew that wasn’t it.
Tomorrow, she’d wake up feeling empty, wondering how she could go from such a high a few hours ago to this incredible low.
Chapter Twenty-Four
March 25th
For the last week, Abbey kept herself busy, spending a few days in Tampa, exploring or taking photos. She couldn’t be around Payton right now.
Since that night that Abbey had tried to tell Payton that she had feelings for her, their conversations had been short, polite and almost stiff.
Abbey couldn’t wait until Melissa arrived next weekend. She needed to tell her about Payton, not that she’d know what to do but she just needed to say it out loud to someone, that she thought they had something even if Payton didn’t want to admit it.
Abbey couldn’t keep herself from replaying that night, over and over in her mind, from their games of pool, to the dancefloor, to that awkward conversation in the living room.
She’d been in Florida for almost two months now. Some days it felt like only two weeks, and on other days, Abbey felt like the year must surely be up soon.
She’d been here long enough now that it no longer felt like a vacation. Abbey was finally starting to feel like this was her new home for the next ten months and that meant that she needed to find something to do.
She was going to keep her promise to Melissa not to think about work. She was tempted to ask her if there was anything that she could do from here but she knew Melissa would refuse. She was stubborn like that.
Abbey needed something else to keep her busy. Long walks on the beach and reading weren’t going to cut it for the next ten months.
It surprised her but the most obvious choice was photography. She’d enjoyed the few times that Payton had asked her to come with her and take photos and she’d learned a lot from her already.
Abbey kept the camera that Payton had lent her in her room, on her dresser, and she found herself taking it with her almost every day she ventured out.
She wished things weren’t so awkward with Payton. She’d love to be showing her the photos she’d been taking and ask her for her advice but she didn’t want to, not yet anyway.
Abbey thought keeping a bit of distance between them was the best thing she could do right now. She’d have Melissa to distract her next weekend and
then hopefully enough time would have passed that things could go back to normal.
Chapter Twenty-Five
March 31st
“Wow, Abbey,” Melissa said when she’d finished the tour of the house. “You weren’t kidding. And two blocks from the beach?”
“I know.”
“So, where’s your housemate?” Melissa asked when they returned to the kitchen.
Abbey found a bottle of white wine in the refrigerator and poured them each a glass.
“She’s working today. I think… I’m not sure.”
“Thanks,” Melissa said, lifting her glass to Abbey’s. “Well, you definitely got lucky with this place.”
“I did,” Abbey said, taking a long drink from her glass. “So, what do you want to do tonight? Stay in? Go out?”
“I think I feel like going out. Is that okay?”
“Of course,” Abbey said as they both padded into the living room and took a seat on the couch. “We could go to this wine bar I went to once… There’s a jazz club if you feel like music.”
“What about your usual? That place you were telling me about, with the pool table?”
“It’s a gay bar…”
“That’s fine,” Melissa said. “We should ask your housemate.”
“Payton?”
Melissa nodded.
“I think she has something on tonight,” Abbey said, bringing her glass to her lips.
“Well, send her a text or give her a call and find out. I want to meet her.”
Just as Abbey took her phone out of the pocket of her shorts, she heard the front door open and looked up to see Payton walking in with her camera bag slung over her shoulder.
“Hey,” Payton said, leaving her gear inside the door.
“Hi,” Melissa said, turning to drape her arm across the back of the couch and give Payton a wave.
“Payton, this is my friend and business partner, Melissa…”
Payton came over to join them and sat down in one of the chairs across her them.
“You have a beautiful home,” Melissa said. “You must have got a shock though when this one turned up,” she said, tilting her head towards Abbey.
“Yeah,” Payton said with a laugh. “My property manager dropped the ball there but we’ve made it work,” she said with a slight smile as she glanced over at Abbey. “And I couldn’t kick her out.”
“I’ve even taken up photography,” Abbey said with a smile.
“I knew you’d have to find something to keep those hands busy. You could never sit still…” Melissa turned her attention back to Payton. “I don’t know if Abbey mentioned it, but she’s a workaholic.”
“Former workaholic,” Abbey said, jumping in.
“I don’t know… You can’t judge that until you come back to New York,” Melissa said, finishing her glass of wine. “Can I get anyone a refill? Payton do you want a glass?”
“Sure,” Payton said.
“So…” Abbey met Payton’s eyes. “Mel wants to go out tonight and she wants you to join us but there’s no pressure.”
“I wouldn’t want to interrupt,” Payton said as Melissa came back over to the living room with a glass of wine for Payton.
“Don’t be silly,” Melissa said as she sat down. “I want you guys to take me to your local.”
“Okay,” Payton said with a smile as she took a drink.
Abbey took a long drink, realizing that there was no way out of this now. She was hoping to have a conversation with Melissa about Payton. She needed to tell someone that Payton was driving her crazy.
Maybe it’ll work out. Melissa will get to see what Payton’s like… Not that I think we’ll end up on the dancefloor like we did those other two nights.
“I’m going to go freshen up,” Melissa said. “When should I be ready for?”
“I’ll order a taxi for an hour’s time,” Payton said. “Is that okay?”
“Perfect.”
“You okay?” Payton asked Abbey, bringing her back to the present.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Just wondering.”
“I better go get ready too,” Abbey said as she stood up and finished her glass of wine.
Abbey left her empty glass in the kitchen and climbed up the stairs, wondering what she’d wear tonight. It was a casual bar, but she might put in a little extra effort tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Payton’s hot,” Melissa said, leaning into Abbey as the bartender slid their drinks across the bar and Abbey paid him.
“What?”
“Payton’s hot, I said… Is she gay?” Melissa asked, taking a sip of Chardonnay.
“Yes.”
“Does she know I’m straight?”
“I don’t know… No. I don’t think it came up… Why?” Abbey asked.
“I think she might be jealous,” Melissa said with a smirk. “She’s been glancing over here all night.”
“She’s just giving us some time to catch up.”
“While watching us out of the corner of her eye… I think she has a thing for you,” Melissa said, gently elbowing her friend as they stood side by side, their backs leaning against the bar.
They came out early but after two drinks, the bar was filling up and Abbey recognized a few faces. She nearly choked on her drink when she saw Rachel stride in, holding her girlfriend’s hand.
“Do you see that dark-haired woman that just came in? Black pants? Our age?” Abbey asked.
“Yeah.”
“That’s Payton’s ex.”
“Oh, you’re definitely her type then,” Melissa said with a knowing smile.
“We uh… We pretended to be together… Twice.”
“To make that woman jealous?”
“Rachel. Yeah.”
“And how did that go?”
Abbey sighed. “It went well, yeah… A little too well.”
“Abbey…”
“Yeah?”
“You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”
Abbey nodded and took a long drink.
“And she’s still hung up on this Rachel?” Melissa asked.
“No… I don’t think so.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“I’m only visiting…”
“She doesn’t do casual?” Melissa asked.
“Doesn’t seem like it… Mel, I’ve never… The chemistry… I can’t even explain it.”
“What about the age difference?”
“I don’t care.”
Melissa couldn’t help smiling. “See, it doesn’t matter. How long have I been trying to tell you that? What’s ten years?”
“She’s nine years younger than me.”
“Exactly. Just tell her how you feel,” Melissa urged.
“I tried… She doesn’t want to know about it. I’m only here for a few more months.”
“It’s almost a year really,” Melissa said. “You’ve still got ten months left.”
“I know… But I’m still leaving. That’s the bottom line for her.”
“Aw, Abbey,” Melissa said, sliding her arm around her, gently rubbing her back. “Well, she’s definitely into you. The look I just got…”
“What? Really?”
“You should go play pretend again.”
“I can’t,” Abbey said. “It’s killing me. I can’t do it again.”
“Can you keep living with her if this is going on? Or not going on…”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to leave but it is torture. I’ve tried not to think about it too much but when I do… I just want to back her up against the nearest wall and I don’t even know… Rip her clothes off.”
“Wow.”
“Sorry,” Abbey said, taking a long drink from her wine glass. “I’ve really never felt this way before.”
“You’ll figure it out… Just don’t wait too long or you really will be leaving.”
“I know.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
A
pril 3rd
“So, how long have you known Melissa?” Payton asked as she lifted her paddle out of the water and rested her oar across her lap, letting her kayak float down the river beside Abbey’s.
The river’s hidden inhabitants played a symphony of noises as they continued downstream, croaks and slurps from the murky water below, bird wings flapping and flies buzzing in the moist air above.
“Since college… So, a long time. She’s my best friend.”
“I hope she had a good time,” Payton said, reaching for her camera and lifting it to her face, closing one eye to take a few shots of a turtle climbing out of the water and onto a rock.
“She did and she wants to come back… If that’s okay. Maybe for a week next time.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Oh, right there!”
Abbey’s eyes followed Payton’s finger to the bank of the river where an alligator was climbing into the vegetation, water dripping off its enormous legs. The speed and the size of the ancient creature made her heart race.
What if it had been coming towards them, stealthily moving through the water, gliding underneath their kayaks?
When Payton had suggested spending the day out on a river in a kayak, that was the first thing that popped into Abbey’s mind, that they’d run into an alligator.
Payton wasn’t fazed by it though. She adjusted her lens and took a few shots as they drifted further away.
Abbey balanced her oar across her lap and reached for her camera, zooming in and taking a few photos as they floated downstream, leaving the alligator behind. A turtle poked its head out of the water right beside her kayak but silently disappeared again before Abbey could get a shot of it.
Abbey put her camera back in its waterproof bag and wiped the sweat away from her eyes, feeling them sting slightly, probably from the bug spray that she’d applied this morning.
It was eighty degrees today, the warmest it’d been since Abbey came to Florida. She didn’t mind the hot weather, she just wasn’t used to it this early in the year.