by Laura Conway
She got it. She felt it, too, but Oliver was getting married in two weeks. He couldn’t slip into a depression over this, and his fiancé, Alvaro, thought the same thing, which is why she was sitting a table with the two of them, surrounded by empty glasses. Music pumped out of the speakers in the corners of the room, and the tiny dance floor on the other side of the bar was full. Rainbow flags were pinned to the walls along with erotic photographs and paintings.
It was a unique bar. That was the only way Jackie could describe it. There was a relaxed vibe during the day with lunch and tapas being served, but after ten o’clock there was more of a night club atmosphere. The rainbow disco lights came on. The music was turned up. The upscale wine menu was replaced by one full of shots and cocktails.
They were sitting outside, away from the DJ, the dance floor, and the thumping dance music, where they could actually have a conversation, although for once, Jackie almost wished she was inside. Tonight wasn’t exactly going to plan. They were supposed to be cheering Oliver up, but every so often, he’d remember something about Luke, and then he was practically in tears again.
“No wonder he didn’t reply to the invite,” Oliver said. “He was dead!”
Alvaro and Jackie shared a look. It was time to cut Oliver off. They’d started off perhaps a little too quickly, going for shots and then cocktails, although Jackie and Alvaro hadn’t drank theirs nearly as fast.
“I emailed him again,” Oliver said with a sigh. “I called him. I just thought he was busy. Life is short, innit?” he asked, his words slurring.
Alvaro stood up and came around the table to Jackie. “I’m going to get him a mocktail this time,” he said in accented English. “Same again? Gin and tonic?”
“Please,” Jackie said, giving him a reassuring smile as he went to the bar.
Oliver was still talking to Jackie. “I know I’m always telling ya that you’re young. I’m young. That fifty is young, but it’s not really, is it? I mean, Luke was younger than me. He was only forty-five.”
Jackie glanced behind her. Alvaro hadn’t even ordered yet.
“Payton looks like him,” Oliver continued. “They have the same smile. She’s a good person. I can tell. We should have invited her,” he said with a bit of enthusiasm. “She probably doesn’t know anyone in Benalmadena.”
“Did you know she was gay? From Luke?”
Oliver nodded. “He came to me for advice. She came out to him when she was fifteen. He’d just gotten divorced, and he was trying so hard to be a great parent. He didn’t know what to do. Not that he was homophobic. He just didn’t know if she was confused or what, but I reassured him, told him to be there for her, that I had realized I was gay around that age.”
Jackie nodded. “You’re right. We should have asked her to come out tonight.” The words had just left her mouth when she found herself looking directly at Payton, their eyes locking from across the bar. She was waiting to be served, a few people over from Alvaro.
Jackie finished her gin and tonic as Alvaro came back with their drinks, but he was gone again a minute later, chatting with some friends at the next table. Hopefully, Oliver wouldn’t notice that his drink had no alcohol in it.
She did agree with Oliver. They should have asked Payton, but now that she was here, Jackie wasn’t so sure if she should invite her over to their table. Oliver could start down memory lane again, and he would mean well, but she could see it being a complete disaster. She didn’t want to upset Payton by talking about her father every time they saw each other.
“Oh,” Oliver said, almost spilling his drink. “There’s Payton. Hey,” he said, waving his hand to get her attention. “Payton!” He came dangerously close to falling off his chair.
Payton gave them a smile as she got closer to their table. “Hello,” she said, tucking a lock of blond hair behind her ear. She was dressed casually in dark wash jeans and a white tank top.
“Hi,” Jackie said, praying that Oliver wouldn’t keep talking about Luke.
“Do you want to join us?” Oliver asked.
“Uh,” Payton said, glancing between them. “I don’t want to intrude.”
“Don’t be silly!” Oliver said, pulling out the chair beside him.
“If you’re sure?” Payton asked, meeting Jackie’s eyes.
“Yeah,” Jackie said. “Of course. We were just saying that we should have asked you to join us tonight.”
“Oh, really?” Payton took a seat across from Jackie. “Is this the place to be?” she asked, looking around her at the crowded outdoor area and the packed bar inside. “I just picked it because it was the closest gay bar to my apartment.”
“It’s our regular,” Oliver said. “Your father even came here a few times.”
Payton smiled. “Really? I mean, I know my dad wasn’t homophobic, but what’s the attraction of going to a gay bar when you’re straight?”
Jackie shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Oh,” Oliver said, standing up. “Alvaro’s waving me over. I’ll be back in a minute.”
“So, what are you doing here?” Payton asked.
Jackie stirred her drink with the straw. “What do you mean?”
“I’m just surprised to see you two here.”
Jackie’s eyes narrowed. Surely, she wasn’t that drunk, but she was having trouble comprehending what Payton was saying. “Why?”
“Like I said... I don’t understand the fascination for straight people. Not that I want to exclude anyone. I’m not saying that. I just can’t understand what the attraction is. You probably spend the night getting hit on. Both of you, and then you have to tell them that you’re married or whatever.”
“What?” Jackie asked, leaning forward to rest her forearms on the table. She must have missed something.
“You and Oliver. You’re together, right?”
“No,” Jackie said, a smile tugging at her lips. “Why would you think that?”
Payton’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit. Sorry. I don’t know,” she said in a rush. “You just seemed really close, at the restaurant. You have a restaurant together. You’re here together tonight. I don’t know. I assumed...”
“He’s my best friend.”
“Sometimes, I really don’t think before I speak,” Payton said, running a hand through her hair.
“That’s Alvaro,” Jackie said as Oliver came back with him, holding hands. “They’re getting married in two weeks.”
“Oh my God. I’m so embarrassed,” Payton said, taking a drink. “I can’t even blame the alcohol,” she said, looking down at her wine glass. “I’m not even tipsy.”
“It’s fine.”
Jackie introduced Alvaro and Payton, leaving out the mix up.
“It’s really nice to meet you, Payton,” Alvaro said without sitting down. “But I’m afraid, we’re ready to call it a night.”
Jackie gave Alvaro a smile. “Text me when you get home.”
“Sí, lo prometo,” Alvaro said with a wink before saying goodbye, his arm around Oliver’s waist. Jackie knew she was being overprotective, but there was an attack on a gay couple just last week, and she’d sleep better tonight knowing that they made it home okay.
“So,” Payton said when it was just the two of them. “Did I mention that my gaydar’s shit?”
Jackie smiled, taking in the crowd around her, looking anywhere but at Payton. Jackie didn’t know how trustworthy her gaydar was anymore. She usually couldn’t be bothered moving from being attracted to someone to doing something about it, so it never mattered.
“Where’s the wedding?” Payton asked, taking her away from her thoughts.
“Hmmm?”
“Where are they getting married?”
“Marbella. Have you been?”
Payton nodded. “I spent a few days there with my dad the last time I was here actually. Is it going to be on the beach?”
“Yes. They’ve been planning it for almost two years, but that was probably the first thing they decided on.”<
br />
“Was my father going to go?”
“Yes,” Jackie said, bringing her glass to her lips and taking a sip of her gin and tonic. “Oliver was just talking about it, but I’m glad Alvaro brought him home. He was getting a bit emotional about it, and I know he’s taking it hard, but... I don’t want him to upset you. We all knew your father, but we don’t need to bring him up every time we’re with you.”
“No. Well, I know what you mean, but it’s nice... Hearing about this other life he had that I really didn’t know much about. I wonder if Angela’s going.”
“Well, she was definitely invited, but if the invite went to your father, maybe she doesn’t want to show up without him... I don’t know. I’ll talk to Oliver about it tomorrow, but I know that they would want her there.”
Payton nodded. “I spoke to her this morning. She’s doing okay. Christmas is easily her favorite time of the year, and last year... No one was in the mood last year. Not even her. But she was talking about when she’d go pick out her tree and what day she was going to start decorating, so that’s a good sign.”
Jackie shook her head. “It’s seven weeks away. Time is flying.”
“Yeah. I don’t know how to feel about it. I mean, I’m not really a big fan of the commercialism, and when I was a teenager it was hard only being with one of my parents, but my dad loved it. Angela met her match there. One was as crazed as the other,” Payton said with a lopsided smile.
“So you get along well? You and Angela?” Jackie asked, stirring her drink.
“Yeah, although she’s more of a friend than anything else. I don’t see her as my stepmother. She’s only ten years older than me.”
Jackie tried to do some quick math, wondering how old that would make Payton.
“My mother hates her,” Payton said with a sigh. “But I think it’s all a show. Her husband divorced her and remarried a younger woman. She also doesn’t appreciate me defending Angela every single time she says something about her, which is often enough. It’s the age thing though. It always bothered her, but my dad wasn’t like that. They met through a mutual friend. He wasn’t out there looking to meet someone or chasing after younger women.”
“There’s thirteen years between Alvaro and Oliver,” Jackie said, tousling her hair. “And they’re perfect for each other. Think it all depends on the couple though. There’s plenty of times where it doesn’t work.”
“Speaking from experience?” Payton asked, taking a sip of wine.
Jackie opened her mouth and closed it again. “Yes,” she said. There was no point in lying. She was finally at the point where she could think about Megan without feeling much of anything anymore. “My ex was ten years younger than me.”
“And was that why it didn’t work out? Because she was too immature? Too young?”
Jackie wiped her palm across her face. Oliver was the only one who knew what had really happened. Alvaro too, because they shared everything, but Jackie had been too embarrassed to let anyone else know what had happened. She simply said that they’d broken up, that the distance had been too much.
“Not exactly,” Jackie said, finishing her drink. “She...” Jackie’s voice trailed off. She was going to say that Megan cheated on her, but now, a year later, Jackie could finally look at it objectively. Megan had cheated on her husband, not on her. “It was complicated,” she said instead.
Payton nodded. “Can I get you another drink?”
Jackie looked down at her empty glass. She wouldn’t mind getting to know Payton better, but she’d have to shift the conversation away from her. She really didn’t want to talk about Megan anymore.
“Sure,” Jackie said. “A gin and tonic, please.”
“Alright. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Jackie watched Payton weave her way through the crowd and back inside to the bar area, finding a place to squeeze in and get the bartender’s attention.
Payton was mature. Jackie had to say that much about her. She had a quiet confidence about her, but Jackie couldn’t help smiling when she thought about Payton mistaking Oliver for her husband.
She wasn’t the first person to make that assumption. A lot of their customers did, and they were affectionate with each other, but they were best friends.
Jackie glanced over at the bar and Payton was chatting with a woman that Jackie recognized but couldn’t remember her name. She bartended here. That was why she was so familiar. The woman’s hand was on Payton’s arm as they laughed, and Jackie looked away. She should have gone home and let Payton enjoy the rest of her night. She’d probably come here to meet someone, not spend the night talking to her neighbor.
Payton was back a few minutes later. “Sorry about the delay,” she said as she sat down.
“It’s okay,” Jackie said, waving her off. “This place is mental on a Friday night.”
“I like it though. I can see why you guys come here.”
“So,” Jackie said, leaning back in her chair. “How does it work when you’re lacking accurate gaydar? Do you go online to meet people? Do you wait for them to come to you?”
Payton smiled. “I don’t know. I’m trying to figure that part out. Assuming everyone is straight isn’t exactly working out for me.”
Jackie laughed. “No. I imagine it wouldn’t.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?” Jackie asked, unable to keep the smile off her face. She was finally starting to relax, or maybe it was just the alcohol.
“Do you have the confidence to walk up to someone on the street and ask them out?”
“No. I prefer to have gathered some information first. I don’t think I’d ever just ask someone out. I feel like I can usually tell, but I still wouldn’t have the confidence to do that. Coming here is easier. There’s a few more bars between here and Torremolinos, but we always end up here. Like you said, it’s just around the corner from where we live.”
“Okay,” Payton said, looking around. “This is my new regular.”
“Hoping for a holiday fling?”
“Maybe. Some light flirting would be enough, too. I don’t know. I’ve been single for a while, and I was such a mess this last year. I’m finally starting to feel like myself again, so maybe,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve never been one for flings so... I’ll probably just admire someone from a distance and wonder what might have been.” Payton smiled at her. “So, you’re not married to Oliver.”
Jackie’s lips slid into a warm smile. “No. I haven’t dated anyone since I broke up with my ex. I was kind of in the same place as you for the last year, for different reasons obviously, but I wasn’t in the right place to be dating anyone.”
“And now?”
“I’m getting there. You know how I was on the same flight as you from London? I was wrapping up the sale of my flat there, and for me, that’s that part of my life done. My ex lived in London, so I kept my flat there and split my time as best as I could with Sun and Sand, but I love it here. So, I sold the flat. That’s my closure.”
“Wow.”
Jackie nodded. “This is where my life is now. I have amazing friends. I love being this close to the beach. Malaga is a beautiful city, and it’s just a few minutes away. The business is doing well. We’re even thinking of expanding, so yeah, I’m getting there. It feels like things are falling into place now.”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day, about going into digital marketing like my father.”
“Oh yeah?” Jackie asked, taking a sip of her drink.
“I don’t want to get involved with his business. He had a team and they’re going to keep going with it, so I’d be starting out on my own, but it’s something I’m seriously considering. I like the flexibility of it, because I really don’t know where I want to live yet. I mean, I can see the appeal of living here, but I still love New York. That’s my home. Then, I have a soft spot for London, too, so I don’t know. And I am aware that I probably sound like an entitled brat with three ap
artments to choose from, but I am grateful. I know I’m lucky.”
“You don’t sound entitled,” Jackie said, stirring what was left of her drink. “Your father worked hard. He came here to unwind, but he was good at what he did, and he loved having three different places he could call home. Do you think you’ll keep them?”
“I don’t know,” Payton said with a sigh. “That’s what I need to figure out while I’m here and away from my mother. She still thinks I’m going to come home from this ready to start my life as a lawyer. I already know that’s not going to happen. I don’t want her life.”
They finished their drinks, and Jackie knew she should go home, but she was enjoying getting to know Payton.
“I should go,” Jackie said, glancing down at her watch. “I’ve been here for the last six hours. We were attempting to cheer Oliver up, but he just ended up getting plastered.”
“So, mission accomplished?” Payton joked as she stood up.
“I guess... Are you leaving too?”
“Yeah. I’m thinking about opening a bottle of wine and sitting out on the balcony,” she said as they left the bar, following the promenade back towards Puerto Marina and their apartment building. “You’re welcome to join me. It’s kind of my new favorite thing. Just sitting out there. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the morning and I’m watching the sunrise or at night like this, getting to listen to the waves crashing into the shore... I love it. It’s so different from New York.”
Jackie would love to sit out on the balcony with her, like they had that first day when Payton had threatened her with a knife. It was hard to believe that was only a week ago. She’d only just met Payton, but Jackie felt like she’d known her for years. She was one of those people. It was easy to be around her, to talk to her. Maybe she’d join her for a glass of wine.
Chapter Seven
Payton poured two glasses of white wine and carried them out to the balcony. She’d had just the right amount of alcohol where she could almost forget about her embarrassing mix up earlier.