by Laura Conway
Jenna fist pumped the air. Finally, Nina was taking her own advice to heart. “I’m happy for you.”
“Me too, but it’s... Strange. I’ve never had this dilemma or this fear. I’m going to move on, eventually, to another city, to another country, and I’ll have to say goodbye.”
“Yeah,” Jenna said in just above a whisper. “I know.”
“She knows my story. She knows I’m coming back to New Jersey, so we just have to... I don’t know. Enjoy it while it lasts? I guess. I’m trying to channel you,” Nina said with a laugh. “I’m trying to be this casual person who can live in the moment and not care about the future.”
“And how’s that going?”
“Honestly? Not very well.”
Jenna bit her lip. She could have sympathized with Nina, told her that she knew exactly how she felt, but she didn’t. “So, what does Maria do?”
“She’s a tour guide, and she teaches English,” Nina said. “Which is good, because her schedule is pretty flexible. She’s working for herself, setting up her own tours and taking on private lessons when it suits her, so we’ve been able to spend a lot of time together over the last week. I just can’t help thinking about leaving and how hard that’s going to be.”
“I know. Nina, call me. Seriously. Anytime. Day or night.”
“I will and be careful with Hayley,” Nina said. “She’s...”
“She’s amazing. I’m not trying to...” Jenna sighed. Why was her voice shaky?
“Is it serious? Between you two?”
Jenna bit her lip. It wasn’t supposed to be. They’d agreed that if Jenna was leaving, it had to stay casual, and of course, she was leaving. Her life was in New York.
“Jenna? You still there?”
“Yeah. I’m here. It’s... We’ve agreed to keep things casual, but it’s not easy when you’re living together.”
“I can’t imagine, and I’m surprised that Hayley agreed to that.”
“Hmmm.” Jenna was having her own doubts. She’d been meaning to talk to Hayley about that but bringing up the subject could also put an end to things, and Jenna wasn’t prepared to risk that, not right now, anyway.
“Look at us, Jen.”
Jenna smiled. “I know. Look, I hope it goes well with Maria. You never know. She could come here for a week or two. Long-distance relationships do exist.”
Nina laughed. “I appreciate the optimism, especially coming from you, but I’m trying to be realistic. It’s going to end pretty soon, and I just have to be okay with that. I better go. Maria’s actually meeting me here in a minute.”
“Sure. Take care of yourself, Nina.”
“You too.”
Jenna hung up, that familiar tightness in her chest. She never really thought Nina would meet someone while she was away, but Jenna could hear it in her voice. She was smitten with this Maria.
Jenna sat down at the table with her coffee and opened up her laptop. Working always took her mind off things, and right now she welcomed the distraction. Clara needed her, and Jenna needed this case. She hadn’t slept properly last night, thinking about the angle she was going to take, wondering when Clara was going to send over all the documents she needed.
She was back, and she could handle it this time. One case for a friend was not the same as working in a busy law firm in Manhattan. She’d set her own hours, and she was going to keep meditating, keep journaling. She might even ask Hayley for that second surfing lesson.
Chapter Twenty
Hayley glanced down at her phone, double checking the name of the restaurant. This was it. Hayley slid her phone into her bag and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. When Jenna had text her that afternoon, asking her if she was free for dinner tonight, Hayley didn’t know what to think. This was the first time in almost a month that they were going out together. It felt like a date, and Hayley had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t.
She took a deep breath as she pulled open the glass doors to a relatively new seafood place just a few minutes away from their apartment. Jenna said she’d meet her here, that the reservation was for eight o’clock, and Hayley tried to suppress the butterflies in her stomach as she scanned the tables and then the bar area. There she was.
Even with her back to her, Hayley knew it was Jenna. Her auburn hair was swept across one shoulder, her butterfly tattoo on her shoulder blade almost completely hidden by the white top she was wearing. She was sitting on a bar stool, a glass of wine in her hand as she faced the windows overlooking the ocean, one leg crossed over the other. Hayley didn’t recognize those flowing black pants, but they suited her.
Every time Hayley saw her, she wondered what Jenna was doing with her. She’d never been this lucky, and maybe she was crazy for even thinking about disrupting this new reality, but she had to look out for herself. That’s why Kyle was putting out feelers, trying to find her a new place to live that was affordable but still close to the beach.
For the last two weeks, she’d woken up with Jenna, and it had been amazing. It wasn’t just the sex either. Hayley had been out of commission for most of the last week, and she still ended up in Jenna’s bed, falling asleep with Jenna’s arm wrapped around her.
Jenna had cooked her what she always seemed to crave when she had cramps. Shrimp tacos. They stretched out on the sofa together, watching a Yankees game, and it was all so domestic. It was anything but casual, and Hayley knew she was going to have to protect herself. Moving out seemed to make the most sense. It needed to happen before Nina came back anyway, so hopefully Kyle would know of someone who was looking for a roommate.
“Hey,” Hayley said as she got closer to the bar, her hand resting on Jenna’s arm when she reached her.
“Hi.” Jenna’s eyes did something to her. The greens and browns. She didn’t know it was possible to feel so much just by looking into someone’s eyes. “I reserved a table overlooking the water.”
“Perfect.”
Hayley spent the entire night alternating between feeling like the luckiest woman in the world and knowing that her life was going to be dramatically different in two months. She’d be laughing with Jenna or admiring her smile, and it would hit her out of nowhere. This was not some romantic dinner. This wasn’t a date.
Jenna hadn’t said anything since that day they decided to keep this casual, and Hayley had chickened out every time she even thought about bringing it up. Hayley also knew that Jenna was working. Jenna hadn’t said anything, but Hayley noticed that her laptop was always out, and there were more phone calls lately, too.
Hayley knew she shouldn’t care. It was none of her business, but if Jenna was on a three-month work ban, how could she just go back to work? It had only been a month. What about her health? Hayley still didn’t even know the real reason that Jenna was taking this break.
This is such a mess.
“Hey,” Jenna said, tilting her head as she reached for Hayley’s hand, covering it with her own. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine.” Hayley shoved down all those thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that, but when would it be? When she was out on the water, she didn’t think about any of this. At night, she was too happy to dwell on all the things that were wrong with this situation.
Jenna opened the black leather case that held their bill, sliding two hundred-dollar bills inside and closing it again. Hayley hadn’t even thought about what eating at a place like this would cost. She reached for her bag, but Jenna waved her off.
“I suggested we go out tonight,” she said, bringing her glass to her lips and finishing her wine. “It’s on me.”
“Thanks, but you didn’t have to.” Hayley swallowed the lump in her throat.
Why did it feel like everything was out of her control?
Even though Hayley enjoyed herself tonight, she never would have gone to a place like this, knowing that she’d have eaten five times over at the restaurants she normally went to with Kyle.
“So,” Jenna said as the
y walked home. “I talked to Nina yesterday.”
“How is she? Where is she?” Hayley had been meaning to call her. She’d missed her a few days ago, but she didn’t want to talk to Nina about Jenna, not until she’d found the courage to talk to her about what they were really doing.
“She’s still in Madrid.”
“Really?”
Jenna smile. “That’s what I said. Turns out she met someone.”
“What?” Hayley turned to glance at Jenna.
“Maria. I didn’t get much out of her, but she sounded happy, and she hasn’t left Madrid like she’d been planning, so it must be going well.”
“Wow. That’s great news.” Hayley spoke without thinking. “Did you two... Were you?”
Jenna reached for her hand as they walked. “No. We met online years ago, and we clicked, as friends. So, no. Nothing ever happened between us. We’ve been friends for years. I couldn’t believe it when she told me she was leaving New York. I mean, she’d been talking about it for a few years, but I hadn’t realized she was that serious about it.”
“You didn’t stay in touch? I don’t think I ever remember Nina mentioning you.”
“No. I know I was only less than two hours away. I could have rented a car and drove down for the weekend, but I don’t know. I just never prioritized it. Work always came first.”
“Until now.”
“Right. When I had to give it up,” Jenna said, holding open the door to their building.
“Except you didn’t.” There it was. She’d finally said it.
They climbed the stairs in silence, and Hayley had no idea how Jenna was going to take this confrontation. Hayley let Jenna unlock the door and enter first, holding the door for Hayley again.
“Thanks,” Hayley said, leaving her bag on the couch.
“I did say yes to Clara.” Jenna tossed her keys onto the kitchen counter, leaving her bag beside them.
“I know it’s none of my business, but aren’t you worried?”
“No.” Jenna came into the living area and sat down, looking up at Hayley. “It’s completely different. Taking on one client, who happens to be a friend, is not the same as working full time at a law firm.”
Hayley sat down beside her. “I don’t want to fight about this,” she said with a sigh. “I’m just worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
Hayley met her gaze. She was so beautiful.
Maybe she was fine. Hayley didn’t know the whole story. Maybe her doctor had overreacted.
“What are you thinking about?” Jenna whispered, leaning forward to brush a lock of Hayley’s hair behind her ear.
Hayley suppressed a shudder. Being around Jenna all evening and not touching her had been difficult.
“Was tonight a date?” Hayley asked without thinking.
Jenna had been leaning in, but she stopped. She sat back, tousling her hair.
Hayley’s heart dropped as the seconds ticked by without a response. She should have kept her mouth shut.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jenna’s heartbeat echoed in her ears, drowning out everything else. Was tonight a date?
“Jenna?”
She met Hayley’s eyes. She looked absolutely stunning tonight. Her hair was down in loose waves. Those skinny white pants showed off her toned legs, and her teal top made her blue eyes even more captivating than they normally were.
“It felt like one,” Jenna said. “Didn’t it? Or was that just me?”
“It wasn’t just you. Although, I wish I could have enjoyed tonight more. I just kept thinking about all the reasons that I shouldn’t.”
Jenna nodded. She’d spent tonight wondering if she’d lost her mind, but she might as well be as honest as she could be if they were going to have a chance together.
“I talked to Clara this morning,” Jenna said, knowing she had to address the work thing. “We had a video call, and one of the first things she said to me was how well I looked, that my time at the shore must be doing me good, that I seemed more relaxed, but I know it has nothing to do with living here. It’s you, Hayley. Being around you these last few weeks, being with you... It’s not at all what I expected when I came here.”
Hayley’s eyes locked onto hers.
“Between talking to Nina yesterday and Clara this morning, I don’t know. I feel like I got some perspective, and maybe I realized that we can’t do this casual thing.”
“And if we’re not doing ‘casual’ what does that mean?” Hayley asked, her voice shaking ever so slightly. “You’re still going back to New York. My life is still here.”
“I don’t know what it means. When Nina was telling me about Maria, and how hard it was going to be to leave, I kept thinking about us. About how I’d completely underestimated this,” she said, motioning between them. “God, for someone whose job it is to argue a case, I don’t know why I can’t even string a few sentences together.”
Hayley gave her a lopsided smile. “I didn’t expect this either, Jenna.”
“So, what do we do?”
Hayley sighed. “What can we do? I’m staying. You’re going. I don’t think trying to see each other on the weekends is realistic. You work too hard, and I do a lot of my business then.”
“Maybe, we’ve been looking at this the wrong way.” Jenna held her gaze.
“What do you mean?”
“We only live, what, sixty miles away from each other? I think we’re making this into more than it needs to be. If we want this to work, it can work.”
Hayley sat up straighter. “So, we shouldn’t be worrying about this?”
“No. I mean, I know it’s not ideal, but-” Jenna couldn’t believe she was about to say this. “I’m falling for you, Hayley. I don’t want to dance around this. What I’m trying to say is that we don’t need to keep this casual. We don’t live on opposite sides of the country. This could work.”
“You want this?”
Jenna nodded. “Yes. Don’t you?”
Hayley licked her lips. She started to say something but laughed to herself instead. “Sorry. It’s just... I was planning on moving out.”
Jenna’s stomach dropped. “You were?”
“Only because it was going so well. Because I was getting too attached,” Hayley said as she shook her head. “I was just trying to slow this down, to keep myself from getting hurt, but it’s too late. I’m crazy about you, Jenna, and I can’t believe you want this too. I really can’t.”
Jenna leaned in, a smile on her lips as she kissed Hayley who sighed into the kiss, parting her lips, threading her hand through Jenna’s hair, sending a shiver through her body.
How did Hayley do it? The smallest touches went right to her core, and when Hayley’s tongue skimmed across hers, Jenna gave in to her desire, letting her heart win for once.
Hayley reached for Jenna’s hand, guiding her on to her lap, and Jenna straddled her thighs, breaking their kiss for just a second. Her hand rested on Hayley’s neck as she dipped her head, wondering if she’d ever get tired of kissing Hayley.
Jenna lifted her own top over her head as Hayley took off hers, their lips meeting again and again while Hayley unhooked Jenna’s bra, easing the straps down her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.
Hayley’s hands covered her breasts, and Jenna arched into her as she massaged them, playing with her nipples, already knowing exactly what Jenna liked.
Jenna’s hips rocked against Hayley’s white pants, a low moan escaping her lips as Hayley’s tongue wrapped around her nipple, teasing and flicking over it until it was rock hard.
Jenna raked her hand through Hayley’s hair as she moved to her other nipple. Hayley gripped her ass with both hands, fingers splayed over her black pants, pulling Jenna into her as her rhythm increased.
“Fuck,” Jenna grunted, her hand on Hayley’s shoulder to steady herself as she got closer and closer.
Hayley’s fingers slid up to the small of her back and underneath her pants, clutching her
ass as Jenna’s hips moved faster. The feeling of Hayley’s hands on her bare skin sent her over the edge.
Jenna groaned as she clung to Hayley, riding out her orgasm that came out of nowhere. Five minutes ago, they’d been having a very serious conversation about their future, and here they were, panting, hearts racing.
“That was intense,” Jenna breathed, running a hand through her hair as she sat up straight.
“I like this,” Hayley said, leaning into the cushions, looking up at her with lust filled eyes.
“What?”
“You. Here. On top of me.”
“Hmmm. Me too,” Jenna said as she brushed her lips across Hayley’s. “But… Right now, I think you should be in my bed.”
“I like this too,” she said, looking her up and down. “Bossy Jenna.”
Jenna smirked and pushed herself to her feet, reaching for Hayley’s hand. “Come on.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jenna closed the manila folder and pushed her chair back from the table, stretching her arms over her head. Working away from the office definitely had its advantages. She’d woken up naturally this morning and went for a walk on the beach before she’d even sat down to work on Clara’s case. She knew she couldn’t live like this forever, but for right now, she was going to enjoy it.
After her conversation with Hayley two weeks ago about taking this seriously and not getting caught up in the details of how this was going to work, it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She hadn’t realized how much her attraction to Hayley had distracted her, but because she was meditating and journaling every day, she was able to work through her feelings and realize that this wasn’t really that big of a deal. Talking to Nina had helped too.
Nina had finally moved on, traveling to the south of Spain, but Jenna wasn’t surprised to hear that Maria was with her. Jenna just hoped that Nina wouldn’t get hurt, but she had to worry about herself too. This thing with Hayley had come out of nowhere, and she was seriously considering rearranging her life to make it work.