“A what?”
“Tom proposed! We’re getting married next year. Do you wanna be a B.M.? You know—a bridesmaid!”
Interestingly, syndicated astrologer Joyce Jillson forecasted Karen’s engagement several weeks prior. “Pisceans have marriage on their minds . . .,” she wrote in the “Celebrity Trends” portion of her May 21, 1980, column. “Karen Carpenter could announce her engagement under these lucky Piscean aspects.”
The couple’s plan for a year-long engagement hastily narrowed when they announced in July their plans for an August ceremony. “They just seemed to want to move quickly,” Carole Curb says. She was shocked but says she felt they were surely old enough to know what they were doing. “I just hoped for the best.”
The push to be married alarmed Karen’s friends. According to Itchie, “That’s when everybody’s antennas went up.” Despite Karen’s excitement over the engagement and fast-approaching wedding, Tom was a stranger to them and one who seemed to be on the fast track to marrying their close friend. Karen assured them of his successes in the world of commercial real estate development and talked about his multiple homes, racecars, yachts, and even an eleven-passenger Learjet, but they sensed something was awry. According to Frenda, “It was like, ‘I-met-you-will-you-marry-me?’ Karen was just all caught up with this. Never ever could any of us have anticipated that it was going to be what it really was. . . . What I didn’t know was that he didn’t have a nickel. I believed the stories she told me. Why wouldn’t I? It was coming through reliable sources, Mike and Carole, who are certainly not fly-by-nights.” Frenda doesn’t blame the two, however: “Had they known the truth, would they ever have introduced her to this horrendous person? No!”
By this time Karen was determined to be married at any cost, regardless of warnings from loved ones. Without her knowledge, the family hired a private investigator to look into Burris’s background. “If only we’d done a better job checking him out,” Frenda says. “His intentions were very clear right in the beginning. This was a plan, but who could have possibly known? Don’t think all of us didn’t tell her, but when somebody’s not listening, they’re not listening.”
CASTING HER strong personal opinions of Tom Burris aside, Frenda Leffler set out to assist her best friend in coordinating all things wedding related. Karen wanted her big day to be exactly like those of Frenda and her sister Alana Megdal, who both wed in huge Beverly Hills society events with armies of bridesmaids and groomsmen and every tiny detail executed in the grandest of styles. But with only weeks to organize this magnificent event there was no time to waste.
“Frenda took over right away,” Evelyn Wallace recalls. “She took care of everything.” Agnes Carpenter was upset to discover many of the big decisions had been made without her input. She claimed to have wanted to spend mother-daughter time assisting Karen, but plans were already underway by the time she volunteered. “Usually, when your daughter gets married, you want to be with her and help her,” explains Wallace. “Agnes did absolutely nothing. Frenda did everything. She helped her get the dress, pick out the cake, and even did the invitations.”
“Showering Karen with Love and Affection” was the theme of a wedding shower thrown by Frenda, by then named as Karen’s matron of honor, and bridesmaid Carole Curb. The event took place on Sunday, August 3, and gathered more than a hundred women at the exclusive Hillcrest Country Club bordering Karen’s residence at the Century Towers. Olivia Newton-John was in attendance, as was Itchie, who flew in for the weekend with fiancé Phil Ramone. Ramone treated Karen and Tom to a Billy Joel concert that weekend at the Forum in Inglewood, California.
The Hillcrest’s clubhouse garden room was decorated in shades of lavender and peach with an abundance of lilies and orchids flown in from Hawaii. “Karen loved a good party,” recalls Frenda. “She was a vision in yellow organdy that day. Like a spring daffodil.” Her two-piece yellow outfit and sun hat were designed by Bill Belew, who was also commissioned to create her wedding gown. Belew had been the costume designer for a number of television specials, including the Carpenters’ recent Music, Music, Music, for which he would later receive an Emmy nomination.
Maria Galeazzi, Karen’s former stylist and Richard’s ex-girlfriend, was among the guests at the Hillcrest. She was invited a few weeks earlier when she happened upon Karen as they both were shopping in Beverly Hills. “When I saw her I was shocked,” Maria says, recalling that day on Rodeo Drive. “People said she had lost weight, but I had not seen her. She looked so thin.”
Agnes seemed happy to recognize Maria among the sea of unfamiliar faces at the country club. “Oh, Maria Luisa,” she said. “You have no idea what Richard’s been through!”
Agnes was referring to her son’s addiction to quaaludes, a problem that Maria witnessed during her time with Richard in the early 1970s. “I didn’t go nuts with those pills,” she says. “When I got off the road I didn’t take them anymore. I guess he just kept on going. I was shocked to hear that part.” Maria was not nearly as surprised to hear that Richard was still dating his cousin Mary Rudolph. “What do you expect?” she says. “They’d thrown daggers at everybody he’d hooked up with. Now he had resorted to staying within the family.”
According to friends, Karen was mortified by her brother’s involvement with their cousin. Itchie had noticed early on that she was strongly against the relationship. “I thought it was because of the gene thing, but after many confrontations Richard finally just screamed out, ‘For God’s sake, we had the tests! They were fine. We can have wonderful, healthy children!’ Karen just did not want Richard to marry her.”
Karen asked Itchie to play matchmaker for Richard on numerous occasions. “It didn’t matter what country or what city we were in, she was scrambling for someone for him. I didn’t even know Richard when I had to start coming up with these dates for him. Even I was thrown into that mix. She tried to fix Richard and me up!”
“Now I know you’re out of you mind!” Itchie told Karen, laughing uncomfortably at the mere suggestion she date Richard.
“But I want a sister,” she answered back.
“Well, we can still be sisters, but quite frankly, Kace, there is no way I would ever get involved with Richard.”
Olivia Newton-John was always near the top of Karen’s list of potential dates for Richard. In fact, some recall she considered her to be the “dream match” for her brother. “I always had a boyfriend,” Olivia says. “But for Karen to think that I was perfect for Richard was probably the biggest compliment that she could pay to me because she adored him.”
ON AUGUST 7, Karen and Tom applied for their marriage license at the Los Angeles County Clerk’s office. With less than a month until the ceremony, many details remained unfinished. In the meantime, Carpenters Fan Club secretary Rosina Sullivan relayed the information via newsletter.
Mr. and Mrs. Harold Carpenter of Downey, California, are very happy to announce the forthcoming marriage of their only daughter KAREN ANNE to THOMAS JAMES BURRIS, eldest son of Mr. and Mrs. James Burris of Orange County, California, on Sunday, August 31, 1980, in Beverly Hills, California. . . . As emotions run high and excitement reaches fever pitch, the heart strings take an extra tug as we learn of Richard’s intention to compose a very personal message for the bride to sing to her bridegroom during the marriage ceremony. . . . What a poignant moment that will be.
As Burris explained to the members of the press, “Richard is writing a special song for us. She’ll say ‘I do’ then come out singing. It’s going to be interesting.” Calling on longtime collaborator and friend John Bettis, Richard wasted no time churning out a big Broadway-style show tune. He then commissioned Peter Knight, who flew in from England to finish the arrangement and orchestration. This was much more of a task than Knight anticipated, as the song was an epic, jumping moods and octaves. Needless to say, it did not lend itself to the rush order Knight was given when he signed on. Initially, Karen intended to sing in person during the ceremony, but she and
Richard ultimately chose to pre-record the song, including her lead vocal. “We were planning on doing it live, but it would have required a huge orchestra,” Karen recalled. “When I really thought about it . . . I said no, I don’t want to do it live. . . . I don’t really think I could have focused. And it’s a very difficult song to sing. . . . I was having trouble standing up.”
Karen undoubtedly lost her footing when just days before the wedding rehearsal Tom dropped a bombshell—one significant enough to end their relationship. The couple had made every plan to start a family as soon as they were married, and Karen was thrilled at the idea of finally becoming a mother. But it was not until the last minute that Tom shared with her how he had undergone a vasectomy procedure prior to their meeting. Her plan of carrying his children was simply not going to happen. Karen was dumbfounded. Tom offered to reverse the procedure, but their chances at a family would be significantly lessened. Regardless, Karen felt betrayed. Tom had lied to her; he had withheld this information for the duration of their courtship and engagement, knowing full well that starting a family was at the top of Karen’s list of priorities. This was the deal breaker. The wedding was off.
Karen was in hysterics when she called Frenda. The matron of honor ran to her side and did her best to comfort her. As much as friends hated to see her in such horrific pain, they silently felt relieved that this nightmare seemed to be coming to an end. With Frenda at her side, Karen picked up the phone and called her mother. She cried to Agnes as she explained the deceit that left her with no choice but to cancel the ceremony. But her mother’s power over her was never stronger. Agnes told her she would do no such thing. Family and friends were traveling from all over the country to attend the event, and Harold’s brother and sister-in-law were even flying in from London. Moreover, the wedding expenses had already cost what Agnes considered to be a small fortune. “We’ll deal with it later,” she said. “The invitations have gone out. There are reporters and photographers coming. People magazine is going to be there. The wedding is on, and you will walk down that aisle.” Karen was in disbelief. Surely deception of this magnitude justified an end to her plans of marriage to Tom? But Agnes remained firm. “You made your bed, Karen,” she told her. “Now you’ll have to lay in it.”
THE LUXURIOUS five-star Beverly Hills Hotel on Sunset Boulevard was the site of what promised to be the society wedding of the decade on Sunday, August 31, 1980. For Karen it promised little. Evelyn Wallace was upset to learn of Karen’s turmoil some time later. “As she was walking down the aisle, she knew that Tom was not the person he said he was,” she explains, “but she carried on. She wasn’t marrying the guy she thought Tom was, but she didn’t stop the wedding. She carried on like she was really, really happy that day.”
Although photographs from that day show a seemingly radiant and glowing bride, few knew of Karen’s inner conflict. She had adopted her mother’s position and resolved to deal with the problems later. She had long been a master at concealing her true feelings, and this was perhaps her finest performance. “I don’t know how she’s doing it,” Itchie told a friend as the women observed Karen smiling for the cameras. “Kace, are you playacting or are you really happy?” Itchie asked, but Karen’s only response was her silent stare.
“She was the typical bride, a little nervous,” recalls Debbie Cuticello, who was not privy to news of the previous week. “She was very excited, very beautiful, and just beaming. The wedding was like a fairy tale. It was a Cinderella event for me. There were lots of things we had to do beforehand, like getting fitted, getting the dresses, and doing the rehearsal.” Bill Belew’s design team, consisting of members of both the ABC-TV and NBC-TV wardrobe departments, oversaw the fittings. “We all had these amazing lavender dresses with these big sun hats,” Carole Curb recalls. “It was just sumptuous.”
Frank Bonito and his wife were in attendance as well. “Karen let all the girls try on her ring. My wife had a pear-shaped diamond, too, which was of course much smaller.” Still, Bonito feels Karen was unaffected by her fame and fortune, regardless of diamonds and other luxuries. On her wedding day she came to him saying, “Frank, this diamond around my neck’s not falling right. Would you just knot the chain behind my neck?” As he recalls, Karen was often quite casual about things. “Then she took her ring off to wash her hands, and this ring almost went down the sink drain! I said to her, ‘Oh my God, Karen, if that thing goes down the drain we’ll be pulling the pipes apart!’”
Greeted with the fragrance of thousands of sweet-smelling gardenias, the five hundred wedding guests began arriving shortly after noon in preparation for the 1:00 P.M. ceremony. “I invited everybody in the city, and everybody in the city showed up,” Karen said.
Named for its elegant chandeliers, the Crystal Ballroom’s art deco theme was concealed by a facade of silver trellises. Adorned with white orchids, gardenias, violets, and lemon leaves, the framed lattice displays helped simulate a 1930s old English garden setting. The room’s chandeliers were interspersed with huge baskets of orchids suspended from the ceiling.
The Who’s Who list of celebrities included many of those attending the wedding shower a month earlier, in addition to Casey Kasem, John Davidson, JoJo Starbuck, Dionne Warwick, Burt Bacharach, Herb Alpert, Dorothy Hamill, and Toni Tennille and husband, Daryl Dragon. Head usher Mike Curb arrived in Beverly Hills with an entourage of state police escorts. In addition to his role as lieutenant governor of California, Curb was acting governor of California during Jerry Brown’s campaign for president in 1980.
Phil Ramone arrived wearing a tuxedo. “Karen told me it was absolutely formal,” he explains. “‘I expect you to wear a tux,’ she said. The only guys wearing tuxes were me and the waiters. That’s how she got back at me for saying I didn’t like Tom’s hair. Now that’s what I consider great humor!”
Organist Frank Brownstead offered Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Sheep May Safely Graze” as members of the wedding party took their places. The mother of the bride, escorted by her son Richard, was outfitted in a lavender chiffon gown and picture hat similar to that of the groom’s mother. Then, sweeping strings and a most familiar voice came seemingly out of nowhere. As the crowd shifted in their seats in hopes of seeing the bride as she sang, most soon realized the song was pre-recorded. The production was surprisingly polished for a rush job. Even a hasty Carpenters recording was perfection. Down to the wire, the recording was done three days earlier, with the master delivered just hours before the wedding rehearsal. Karen’s singing conveyed John Bettis’s lyric to great effect and with a soaring sense of optimism and determination.
Because we are in love we reach for our tomorrows
And know we won’t be lonely in laughter and in sorrow
Where love abides there is the place we’ll keep our home forever
You and I, because we are in love
Frenda’s three-year-old twins, Ashley and Andrew, along with their cousin Brooke Megdal, led the seemingly endless trail of bridesmaids and groomsmen down the red-carpeted aisleway to the tune of Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus.” The bride’s attendants, wearing waltz-length lavender chiffon gowns with green sashes, included close friends Connie Chapman, Linda Curb, Debbie Cuticello, Sandy Holland, Karen Ichiuji, Alana Megdal, Carole Curb Scotti, Elizabeth Van Ness, and Karen’s cousins Mary Rudolph and Joan Will. Noticeably absent from the bridal party was Olivia Newton-John, who attended the ceremony with Xanadu choreographer Kenny Ortega. The film had been released just weeks earlier, and a trip to its Australian premiere prevented Olivia from accepting Karen’s invitation to be a bridesmaid. “I wanted the attention to be on Karen anyway,” she says.
Richard Burris served as his brother’s best man. Other groomsmen and ushers, dressed in traditional morning coats, included Mark Armbruster, Effie Beard, Tom’s son Mike Burris, his brothers James Burris and Vern Burris, Jolyn Gissell, Casey Kasem, Ed Leffler, Tony Scotti, and Jerry Van Ness. The ring bearer’s pillow was created by Bill Belew from remnants of a
ll the gowns the designer had made over the years for the Carpenters’ television specials.
After placing a kiss on his daughter’s extended hand, Harold Carpenter escorted Karen down a path of white gardenia topiaries and baskets filled with pink chrysanthemums to the altar, where she was met by the groom. Karen’s wedding gown was made from fifteen yards of crisp, white mousseline de soie and modeled after an eighteenth-century English riding ensemble. The long-sleeved dress and jacket with its stand-up collar displayed a sparkling floral design of seashells and sequins. Her silk veil was affixed to a classic-style picture hat made up of a beaded Juliet cap and detachable white chiffon brim. She carried a bouquet of lilies of the valley, white orchids, and white pikake.
Accompanied by the forty-voice Tom Bähler Chorale, under the direction of Peter Knight, Richard sang David Williams’s “The Wedding Prayer.” Behind Karen’s veil, her eyes were closed and her head bowed in silence as if in her own solemn moment of prayer.
Bless thou the ring, bless thou the promise
Strengthen our love throughout each day
All happy moments, all times of sadness
Teach us to trust and share them all with Thee
Well-known television evangelist Dr. Robert H. Schuller, pastor of Garden Grove Community Church, officiated the ceremony, just two weeks before the dedication of his famed Crystal Cathedral, the first-ever all-glass church facility.
“Tom made fun of Schuller during the ceremony,” recalls Walt Harrah, who sang in Bähler’s chorus. He and others were unnerved by the groom’s behavior. Speaking out in his distinctive, commanding voice, Reverend Schuller asked Burris, “Do you take this woman?” In response, the groom proceeded to mimic the pastor. “When he said, ‘I do,’ he just mocked him, and the whole place laughed,” Harrah says. “It was really bizarre.”
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