“Nothing you can put your finger on,” murmured Carrie, almost to herself. She was well aware of that feeling, she’d had it too many times herself. “Well, you’re staying here for tonight anyway, Zsurtul. We know what it’s like to want to avoid duty, but we all have to face up to it at some point. We’ll talk about it again tomorrow. It’s been a long day.”
“Zhala told me,” he said. “T’Chebbi has a hatchling—I mean a cub—a daughter, with you, Kaid,” he said, looking up at the Sholan male. “I don’t understand, though. I thought you and Carrie . . . and then there’s you and Kusac . . .” Looking from Kaid to Carrie, he ground to a halt.
“We were all three mentally Linked, Zsurtul,” said Carrie tiredly. “Until the Kz’adul took us on board. We’re a legal family unit.”
“Then T’Chebbi is your Mistress?” he asked Kaid.
“Not quite,” said Kaid, uncomfortably. “You could call her my Consortia, a position with legal status to allow us to share cubs because I’m life-bonded to Carrie. I have a legal responsibility to care for her and our daughter for at least the next three years.”
Carrie stood up. “I think it’s time we went in for third meal,” she said. “Zhala’s anxious about the food getting cold.”
By the time they’d eaten, it was late. Carrie showed the young Prime to his room before she headed for the nursery to join Kaid.
Kashini was fast asleep, but the nurse had just laid the twins in their cot for the night.
Kaid was leaning over the high side, gently stroking his daughter’s face with one hand while Dhaykin clasped his tiny hand round the other. As she joined him, the cubs blinked up at her, purring sleepily.
“I never tire of looking at them,” he said, smiling at her.
“Kashini’s anxious to meet her new sister, Liege,” said Yashui as she stacked damp night clothes into a basket for the laundry. “Is she like her mother or yourself, Master Kaid? And what have you called her?”
“Like her mother,” said Kaid, moving aside so Carrie could say her good nights. “Same long tabby-gray pelt. She’s called Rishu.”
“She’ll be a beauty then,” said Yashui with satisfaction. “When will Sister T’Chebbi be coming home?”
“Tomorrow,” said Kaid as Carrie turned to leave. “She’ll be home for midwinter festival. Rishu will be in her room with her for the first two weeks then the cub will join her sisters and brother here. You’ll have Rishu’s nurse to help you, of course.”
Yashui flicked her ears in acknowledgment. “I’ll need the help,” she said candidly.
“I thought you told me Kashini had calmed down since I brought the twins home.”
“She has, and she loves them dearly, but she’s still a berran herself and needs more attention than I can give her right now.”
“I have her with me as much as possible,” murmured Carrie, feeling a pang of guilt that she had to leave her firstborn in the nursery when she attended to the estate business.
“No one’s saying you don’t, Clan Leader,” said Yashui hurriedly. “You spend more time with your cubs than many a mother on the estates I know of—Master Kaid, too. You have to look after us all, not just your berrans.”
“Carrie knows what you mean, Yashui,” said Kaid gently, taking Carrie by the elbow and steering her out of the nursery. “Good night.”
As he closed the door, Kaid turned to Carrie. “Will you join me in my room tonight?” he asked, touching her cheek gently with his fingertips.
She shook her head. “I’m going down to the Shrine to speak to Ghyan about Kusac’s message.”
Kaid stiffened, letting his hand fall to her shoulder. “I’ve told you, you’re clutching at straws.”
“You may be able to sit and wait for Kusac to contact us, but I can’t,” she said quietly. “I need to find out why he left Shola, because I don’t believe the reason we’ve been given.”
“It’s been snowing for the past four hours,” said Kaid. “I don’t suppose that’s going to stop you, though.”
“A little snow never hurt anyone. You go to bed, Kaid,” she said gently. “I know how tired you are, but don’t ask me to leave this. I can’t.”
Unspoken words hung between them until Kaid turned aside. “You haven’t called me Kaid since we became lovers,” he said quietly. “Good night, Carrie.”
She watched him walk off to his room, feeling the hurt she’d caused him, and well aware that he also knew how much his refusal to look at the message had hurt her. Her heart as heavy as his, she made her way downstairs.
“There’s nothing obvious, Carrie,” said Ghyan after they’d watched the recording several times. “No hand signals, no phrases that stick out.” He rubbed his hands tiredly across his face. “You say that Father Lijou didn’t bring the crystal when he brought the bracelets?”
“No. He said he’d kept it, hoping to spare me any more distress,” she said, reaching into her pocket for her lighter and tobacco tin, taking out a cigarette she’d rolled earlier. “You don’t mind me smoking, do you?”
He shook his head, passing her the ashtray Brynne used when he visited.
“But I knew there was a message, I could feel it in the bracelets. Lijou admitted it and sent it over the next day with one of the Brothers from Stronghold.” She flicked the lighter lid open and lit her cigarette, inhaling deeply. The rush of nicotine made her briefly dizzy.
“Kusac is considered a criminal, you know. Raiban has a couple of warrants out for his arrest. Perhaps the delay was because they wanted to be sure there was no hidden message. If that’s the case, then I think you can assume there isn’t one.”
“Not one they could find,” said Carrie. “But something about it isn’t quite right.”
Ghyan handed the crystal back to her. “I’ve copied it, so you keep the original,” he said. “I’ll look at it again tomorrow, Carrie, but if there is such a message, it’s more likely to be one you can solve, not me.”
“Then why did he mention you in the message?” she asked, placing the crystal back in its box. “Does it strike you as the kind of thing he would do in a letter?”
“As Telepaths, Kusac and I tended to communicate mentally,” he said gently.
“Do you think he’s guilty, Ghyan?” she asked abruptly. “Do you think his mind was so damaged that he had to return to the Primes at any price?”
“I don’t know, Carrie. He ran away from Shola to join the Forces, that’s how he met you. Certainly he’s had difficult issues to deal with, as he said. Not least was the fact that he felt he’d lost everything that defined him as a person—his Talent, his Link to you, Kaid and Kashini. Coming to terms with that was a hard enough battle, but just when he’d redefined himself, found somewhere he fitted into the world he’d been so cruelly cut off from, then a partial cure is found and everything is turned upside down again.”
“It wasn’t a partial cure, it was a full one, though he didn’t want it commonly known. It was delayed because the drugs Kzizysus used reacted badly with a la’quo residue still in his system from when we went back in time to the Fire Margins. It affected his memories of his captivity, sort of scrambled them. We were told his Talent wouldn’t return fully until he’d relived and sorted through his memories of that time.”
“I hadn’t been aware of that.” Ghyan reached out to take her free hand in his. “Carrie, you have to prepare yourself for the fact that he may have left Shola because he was afraid that once you’d given birth to Kaid’s daughter, you and he would form a Link again. That may have been the last thing he wanted. He’s changed a great deal since the Primes returned him to us at Haven. He’s no longer the person any of us used to know.”
Withdrawing her hand, she stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray, heart sinking. Getting up, she retrieved her coat from the back of her chair. “Does that mean you’re not going to help me?” she asked, her voice taking on a brittle edge. First Kaid, now Ghyan. Was no one willing to look below the surface of Kusac’s actions?
Relief flooded through her. “Thank you, Ghyan. You’ve no idea what it means to have someone willing to talk to me about it.”
“Kaid still won’t discuss Kusac with you?” he asked, ears twitching in concern. “I did wonder when I saw you’d started smoking again. What was their row about, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I can’t tell you, Ghyan,” she said, putting her coat on. “You’ll have to ask Kaid. All I can say is that it’s a matter of honor to him.”
“Even more important for him to talk about it, then. See if you can persuade him to visit me or the Shrine and I’ll try talking to him myself.”
“Thank you, Ghyan,” she said.
There was a discreet knock and the door opened. One of the Brothers serving in the Shrine stood there.
“T’Chai, would you escort Clan Leader Carrie back to the villa, please?” Ghyan said to him. “Good night, Carrie. You have my word that I’ll help if I can.”
Litany of Preparation
I am in the hands of Vartra.
I submit and gain flexibility.
Opening my mind to possibilities
I repeat my goal to myself
so I am not diverted.
Reversals will not deter me.
I will succeed.
—Anonymous, from the Brotherhood’s Book of Pathways
CHAPTER 6
Same day, Kij’ik Outpost
“WHAT happened?” demanded Zayshul, heading up the ramp as soon as she saw Kezule and the Sholans emerging from the main shuttle. “Who got hurt? Was it you?”
Kezule frowned but continued on walking down the ramp. “No. We had a little trouble,” he began.
“Where’s Kusac?” she interrupted, impatient now that she knew he was all right. The feeling of danger had been so strong, it had to be Kusac if it wasn’t him.
“Zayshul!” said Kezule, grasping her by the arm as he turned to look for Kusac. “You’re being ridiculous!” he hissed. “He’s fine—see, here he comes now.”
She stiffened, then as Banner turned to speak to someone behind him, Zayshul saw Kusac standing there. The white bandage on his right forearm showed up starkly against his pelt and the cuff of his short black tunic.
“What happened?” she repeated, allowing herself to relax now that she could see he was relatively unhurt.
“The M’zullians,” Kezule replied in a low voice as he pulled her with him off the ramp and onto the deck. “I miscalculated. They kept a kill to themselves and ate it raw then turned on us. Kusac somehow anticipated it and had his people hiding in the bushes. He got bitten saving my life. They won’t bother us again, I executed the survivors.”
“Bitten?” She stopped dead and looked back at Kusac, seeing Banner steady him as he stumbled. “The antidote? You gave him the antidote, didn’t you?” She could feel the blood draining from her face as she spoke. “Did it work?”
“Of course I did,” he said, irritated, tugging her onward with him. “And, yes, it worked well. He was back on his feet in half an hour. At least your drug has been field tested on the Sholans, Zayshul.”
With an effort, she pulled her attention off Kusac to concentrate on him. “And you? You’re sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine, I told you,” he said shortly, steering her toward the elevator.
“I’m glad you’re safe. I must check Kusac’s wounds later today. He doesn’t look too well. I need to be sure he doesn’t need a second dose of the antidote.”
“His system has been poisoned, of course he’s not all right! He needs to rest, but he’s in no danger. I made sure by treating him myself.”
She gave him a startled look as they approached the elevator. “You did?”
“Naturally I did. He’s my responsibility, Zayshul. I took him and his crew with me on the hunt. You worry too much about him and Shaidan.”
“I need to,” she replied sharply. “You want his help so I have to ensure he and Shaidan remain healthy.”
“Your interest is only professional, isn’t it?” he asked as they came to a stop in front of the elevator doors.
“What do you mean by that?” she demanded, pressing the call button. “Of course it is!” The last thing she needed was him getting more paranoid about her and Kusac.
“Nothing,” he said evasively. “His dressings will be fine until tomorrow. The hunt went well, by the way. We’ve three bucks and thirty does as well as fifty carcasses. We can start the meat vat production properly now.”
“Good,” said Zayshul. “It’ll put a stop to the vitamin and mineral deficiencies I’ve found in several of our people as well as in the Sholans. None of us are designed to eat so much vegetable protein.”
The elevator was empty when the doors opened.
“You haven’t asked who won the bet,” said Kezule as they entered.
“It’s irrelevant to me. Neither of you had the right to involve me in the first place,” she replied coldly. She’d been angry about that bet from the start, which was why she’d told Kusac when and where he could find her in the sick bay.
She could feel his relief at her answer but he said nothing more until the doors opened on the Command level.
“Kusac won. He can have his two hours with you tomorrow when you change his dressing.”
“And if he asks me about Shaidan?”
He sighed. “Tell him the truth about Shaidan, but nothing else.”
She stepped out of the elevator and turned to look at him. “What if I don’t want to spend two hours with him, Kezule? You had no right to promise him my time. And for what? A scan that’s not really necessary. I told you, Shaidan and the other cubs were taught how to use their telepathic abilities by a sleep tape made from a scan of Kusac’s brain done by Chy’qui on the Kz’adul. Scan Shaidan and you’ll have what you need.”
“I can’t force you to stay and talk to him, Zayshul. As for the scan, you know as well as I do that the records from the Directorate show they edited Kusac’s scan to give the cubs only the knowledge of how to use their telepathy. Shaidan knows nothing about alien cultures, the Brotherhood training program, or even anything about Sholan culture. We need a scan from Kusac. If you went, you could try persuading him to allow one.”
She could feel he was torn between not wanting her to go in case Kusac asked awkward questions and she was tempted to tell the whole truth, and the hope that if she did, she could persuade him to allow the scan.
“I’ll think about it,” she said. “But you can forget the scan. He’ll never allow that. I’ve work to attend to in the main lab. I’ll see you later.”
Kezule followed her, trying to fathom why she was so angry over the bet. Given her concern over the Sholan, plus her gift to him of the earring—which he was still wearing—he’d been sure she was being as affected by the fake scent marker as Kusac was. Yet now she seemed unwilling to meet with him. Perhaps he was worrying needlessly. The scent marker wasn’t truly hers, after all.
What did concern him more right now was that she’d known there had been an accident. There was no longer any doubt in his mind that whether she knew it or not, she had some level of telepathic ability. As she went into the lab, he continued down the corridor to their suite. Because of Shaidan, he’d had psi dampers installed. In the wall safe there were several miniature personal units. He intended to wear one from now on. Then he’d collect Shaidan from the nursery where the Prime children were.
Hidden among the shrubbery in the Outpost’s pool area on the hydroponics level, Giyarishis sat lost in a deep trance. Thanks to the nodes inserted regularly all over Kij’ik, he’d established a form of Unity. He could see the Hunter, still groggy from the sand-dweller poison, being helped to his quarters. The General, he knew, was heading for his own living rooms to fetch a psi damper, and the female sand-dweller was on her way to the labs. His vision was not one of corporeal bodie
s, but one of swirling shapes, inhabited by points of light darting and weaving their way to intersect with each other while leaving bright trails, like ribbons, of different colors behind them.
For each trail, there were several ghost images, some paralleling the originals, some shooting off at tangents, even some colliding and exploding, turning all around them dark. Potentialities. What must be danced among what could be. Only one set could become reality, and he had to see that the course the Camarilla had decided upon came to pass when the critical moments came. Thanks to his colleagues back home, the first such moment had come and gone successfully. His task was to ensure the appropriate response.
Kezule strode into the lab, Shaidan scurrying behind him to keep up. “Zayshul, the search team has found the ship I was looking for,” he said. “I need to leave the Outpost for a couple of days. M’kou will stay here to run the place in my absence. I’m leaving immediately.” He was exuding an aura of suppressed anticipation.
“What?” she said, turning around in disbelief. “You can’t! It’s the Sholan midwinter celebration in two days. You must be here for that. It would be a terrible insult to them if you’re not, especially when Kusac agreed to take a role in ours.”
“It can’t be helped. We need to bring the Zan’droshi here and I’m the only one who knows how to handle it. It was my ship before the Emperor retired me. It’s got its own peculiarities—if it even starts after all this time. If not, we need the N’zishok to tow it. I fully intend to be back in time for the Sholan celebration.”
“At least Shaidan will be here.”
“Shaidan’s coming with me,” said Kezule, turning to go.
“Is that wise? A derelict warship isn’t a safe place for any child, and you gave your word to Kusac he could see his son every day.”
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