“Your anger’s understandable,” said Ghyan, getting up to join him and clasp his shoulder comfortingly. “But why should he make such an allegation? In most of the other Triads, all three partners are lovers. Surely you all knew this?”
Kaid nodded. “After that, so were we. When you’re pairing in a three-way mental Link, it’s impossible to hide your feelings from each other. He was more than happy with what we all shared. Most of Kusac’s accusations were old arguments that we’d had before Kzizysus treated him. Except for that one.”
“What were you picking up from him while he was saying all this? What was his mental state?” asked Ghyan thoughtfully, going back to his chair.
“Troubled. He felt troubled, but apart from that, he was blocking. Even with his Talent sleeping, he was capable of erecting strong natural barriers round his mind.”
Ghyan frowned. “You say his Talent was sleeping? Carrie told me he’d been cured.”
“Yes, Kzizysus’ treatment restored his Talent, but there was a glitch. Something to do with a memory loop. Until Kusac came to terms with the past by reliving and accepting his memories of what happened to him on the Kz’adul, he wouldn’t be able to use his Talent again.”
“That explains why you all believe he’s headed for the Prime world—he found he couldn’t handle the memories. I can understand why what Kusac said hurt you, but you knew that he didn’t really believe his own accusations, so why did you react the way you did?”
“He did believe what he was saying, Ghyan,” said Kaid, his tail beginning to switch angrily from side to side again. “It’s not just that he called my honor into question, but that he came all the way out to my house, just days before Carrie’s cubs were due, to do it! He endangered her health and that of the cubs. That is unforgivable. I told him that until he’d apologized, I’d have nothing to do with him.”
“I think we both agree he was mentally ill, Kaid. You can’t hold him wholly accountable for what he said or did that day. And as it turned out, Carrie was fine and so were the cubs.”
“No thanks to him,” he said. “And there’s still the distress he caused her.”
“I’d say you’re causing her as much by refusing to talk to her about it,” said Ghyan gently.
Kaid shot him an implacable look. “She doesn’t want to talk about it, she wants me to agree to the fact he must have had some other reason for stealing the ship and leaving Shola. She’s convinced there’s a coded message in the crystal he left her. I watched it, and there isn’t. I won’t feed her false hopes, Ghyan. He turned his back on us. I don’t wish him any ill. Vartra knows, I do want him back here safe—and well.”
“Carrie asked me to look at the message for her, and I did. There are small inconsistencies in it, but I think you’re right, she’s looking for something that doesn’t exist. However, would it cost you that much to look at the message once more, and to talk to her about it?”
“Yes, it would. I can’t do it, Ghyan,” he said harshly. “What he said and did still hurts too much.”
“You know you’re pushing her away because of this.”
“And she’s pushing me away from her. Did you tell her to stop pressuring me? I thought not,” he said when Ghyan didn’t reply.
“Are you so sure Kusac will have headed for the Prime world? Have you had any dreams or visions about this?”
“Why should I?” Kaid asked tiredly. “Where else would he have gone?”
“Where else, indeed?” said Ghyan quietly as he stood up, too. “I can’t help feeling that this all fits together just a little too conveniently. There’s something—off—about it all, but I can’t close my teeth on it.”
“You’re getting to be as bad as Carrie,” he said. “There’s no mystery, Ghyan.”
“Maybe not, but none of this is like the Kusac I knew, Kaid.”
“The Kz’adul changed him. It changed us all.”
“Hmm,” said Ghyan. “At least try to be a little more patient with Carrie. Don’t let this destroy what you two share. For the sake of your cubs if nothing else, Kaid.”
“I do try,” said Kaid as he walked the priest back to the den door.
Kij’ik Outpost, Recreation room, same day
Kusac had found the file he was trying to unscramble fascinating, and by staying in the library out of Zayshul’s way had almost replaced his obsession with her by working on it. With the pool now open, for the first few days, the rec lounge had been quieter. He’d taken advantage of his crew’s absence to pursue his “friendship” with Zhalmo.
Their reactions after their first visit had amused him. Mindful of Banner’s warnings about not isolating himself from them, he’d been sitting waiting for them in their own lounge when they returned.
“They swim naked,” said Jayza, flopping down onto a sofa. “Can you believe that, Captain?”
“So do we,” he’d replied.
“Yes, but we’re furred, you can’t see our sex, even when we’re wet. With them, everything shows. And the females’ markings! You have to see them for yourself. Rainbow colors, each one slightly different, but they match the ones round their eyes.”
He’d glanced up at Banner as if for confirmation.
His Second nodded, going over to the dispenser to help himself to a drink. “Quite striking,” he said. “And you were right, it is a mineral pool—very warm and humid, almost too much for me.”
“Is that what the Humans look like? All that bare flesh?” continued Jayza.
“I can’t speak from experience of the Primes, but certainly Human females do have some body hair,” he replied.
“What about the males, Banner?” Jayza asked. “Are they like the Humans? You and your sword-brother, Jurrel, have a male Human lover.”
“I wasn’t busy staring at the bathers making comparisons, Jayza,” said Banner, ruffling the youth’s hair as he passed him. “I think you’ve been celibate for too long.”
Amid the laughter, Jayza’s ears flattened and he hung his head in embarrassment. “I wasn’t staring at them,” he said defensively. “It was impossible not to notice.”
Banner took pity on him as he sat beside Kusac. “Essentially, yes, their sex organs are external, unlike ours. Though, as Kusac says, Humans still have some body hair. You should have come with us, Kusac. I’d have thought that as a member of AlRel it would have interested you.”
“I’ll go another time. I wanted to get on with that file.” He nodded toward where his portable comp lay on the low table nearby.
“How’s it going?”
“Patchy. I get whole chunks, then the data is scrambled again. It is a story, though, and very old. There are females in it, free ones.”
“So Kezule’s memories of a long ago past when females were free is accurate.”
“Seems to be. When I’ve finished it, I’ll give you a copy.” He looked over to Jayza again. “Apart from the nudity, what was the pool like?”
“Huge, and landscaped to look like an island with a smaller one, reached by wooden bridges, in the center. There were cushions and mats all over the place. And trees, flowering plants everywhere. It was really beautiful.”
“You forgot to mention the temple we went through to get there,” said Khadui. “One to their fertility Goddess. We had to go through a foot bath to reach the showers and changing rooms, then a second one before we entered the pool itself.”
That was news. There had been nothing like that when he’d met Zayshul there. It made sense, though. She’d obviously taken him in by another door.
“It was too well established for the length of time the Primes and Kezule have been here,” said Dzaou, going over for a drink. “Trees like those take a good few years to grow.”
“No mystery there. It’s like they’ve all been saying from the start, the TeLaxaudin has obviously been here for a lot longer,” said Jayza.
“But why?” said Banner in a low voice that only Kusac could hear. “That’s the question to ask. What is the nature of th
e Prime and TeLaxaudin partnership? Were they using this place first until Kezule decided to come here, or were they preparing it for him?”
That had made him think, and he’d been gently putting innocent questions along those lines to Zhalmo.
“You’ve gone very quiet,” said Zhalmo, her fingertips grazing his in a brief but intimate way.
“Just tired,” he said, looking up at her and forcing his mouth into a smile. “I’ve been concentrating on my work too much.”
“I was going to turn in myself. Want to walk with me? I pass your quarters on the way to mine.”
“Sure,” he said, finishing his ale and getting up. “I’ll see you to your room, if you like.”
He was watching Dzaou, the only other Sholan present, standing over at the bar, talking to some of the Prime males, and almost missed her mental flare of pleasure at his offer. He’d noticed that when his crew weren’t around and he was sitting with Zhalmo, though the other Primes would stop by them for a moment or two, none would join them. It was as if they were being purposely given time alone together.
“Thanks,” she said.
As she stood up, her scent wafted toward him, like, yet unlike Zayshul’s. He found it attractive, but thankfully, nothing more. Zayshul had never been to the rec room, for which he was very grateful.
His eyes met Dzaou’s as they left, and he knew the other was yet again feigning a friendliness with the Primes that masked his need to spy on him. He inclined his head at him before turning away.
“You haven’t come up to the pool yet, Kusac. Why’s that?”
“As I said, I’ve been busy,” he said as they stepped out into the corridor. “I’ll try and make time soon.”
“I think you’d enjoy it, the rest of your crew certainly do,” she said, resting her hand lightly on his arm as he slipped his hands into the opposite sleeves of his robe. “You’ll find it relaxing, and the minerals will do you as much good as they do us.”
“Soon,” he said, glancing at her. She was nearly his height, he noticed, taller than Zayshul by a fraction. “My work is important to your father, you know that.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t think of asking you to compromise that,” she assured him, pupils widening slightly then returning to normal.
He felt himself responding to her instantly and quashed his reaction. He needed to keep his guard up with her—Zayshul’s scent marker was making him vulnerable to all the females.
“But your leisure time is your own, the same as our off-duty time is ours,” she continued.
“I don’t have as much leisure time as you,” he said. “I’m with Shaidan for two hours each evening, then I have to train with my crew.”
“You make a good father.”
It took him a moment or two before he could bring himself to answer her. Had it been a lucky guess, or did she know about Shaidan?
“My daughter is one. I miss her,” he said.
“I’m sure you must. What’s she called?”
“Kashini,” he said. He didn’t want to talk about his life back home. “Have you any children?” he asked, checking mentally to see where the rest of his crew were. Banner and Khadui were playing a board game in their lounge, but no Jayza.
She laughed, her hand tightening round his arm. “No, I’m not interested in breeding yet. Though I think it won’t be long before my brother, M’kou, and his mate do.”
“M’kou has a mate?”
“Oh, yes. She’s even marked him, you know.”
“Marked him?” He tried not to sound as if he was pouncing on what she’d said. He felt her flare of annoyance as she realized she’d said something she shouldn’t.
“Oh, you know,” she said, adopting a slightly vague tone. “A bite on his shoulder. Don’t your females do that?” she asked, artlessly.
“No. Sounds painful.” Damn! The opportunity was lost, now. “We prefer to give each other pleasure.”
“So do we,” she said, a gentle hiss of amusement underlying her voice. “No point in coupling if it isn’t pleasant, is there?”
He sensed the change in her scent and realized he had to get off that subject quickly. “None,” he said. “I must congratulate M’kou and ask him to introduce me to his mate.”
“That would please him,” she said, stopping and removing her hand from his arm. “He respects you, Captain.”
“He does?” He looked at her in surprise.
She nodded. “He knows you’re handling a difficult situation as best as you can. This is my room, by the way,” she said.
“Then I’ll wish you good night,” he said, pulling his hands free of his sleeves.
She leaned toward him, reaching out to touch her hand to his cheek. “So soft,” she murmured, stroking him.
He froze, seeing Zayshul heading toward them. He could feel her anger radiating out around her like an aura.
“Captain, I need to talk to you,” she said, coming to a stop beside them as Zhalmo dropped her hand with a sigh.
“Yes?” he asked, keeping his voice neutral.
“Now. In the sick bay,” she said forcefully, waiting for him to move.
Anger surged through him even as her scent began to affect his senses. Dammit, how dare she treat him like some cub caught with his hand in the cookie jar! Putting his hand on Zhalmo’s shoulder, he leaned closer till his cheek just brushed hers.
“Shall I tell her we’re busy?” he whispered quietly, letting a purr of amusement he didn’t feel creep into his voice.
“So tempting,” Zhalmo murmured. “Better not. Ask me again another night, Captain.”
“As you wish. I’ll say good night, then,” he said. Then he started walking slowly back toward his quarters, using his Talent to eavesdrop on them when Zayshul remained to talk to her.
“Don’t use those scent tricks on him,” Zayshul hissed angrily at the younger female. “You’ve no right to take advantage of him like that!”
“Why not?” asked Zhalmo, her tone one of sweet reason. “We’re both adults and he wasn’t objecting, as you saw. Just because you’ve done nothing in the last two months. . . .”
“Don’t even think that!” Zayshul’s hiss of anger had risen in pitch. “Any other Sholan, yes, but you will not play games like that with Kusac!”
“He’s been seeking my company, Doctor,” Zhalmo replied. “You know I’m free to respond to his advances if I choose to.”
Zayshul uttered a strangled sound and he heard her footsteps, and anger, following him. He increased his pace, reaching his own room before she reached him.
“What do you want, Zayshul?” he asked, feigning indifference as he keyed open his door.
“I told you I want you in the sick bay. Your dressing needs changing.”
“Is that all? It can wait till tomorrow. I did it myself several days ago. I was on my way to bed.”
“So I noticed!” she snapped. “I told you to report to the sick bay now!”
“Don’t give me orders, Doctor,” he said angrily, stepping into his room.
She grasped hold of his arm, stopping him. “How can you let her use you like that?” she demanded, her voice low and intense.
“Everyone here’s using me. What’s one more or less?” he said, disengaging himself. Standing in the doorway, the air current in the corridor was blowing her scent away from him. What was reaching him only served to fuel his anger.
“They’ve got bets going, did you know that? To see which of you they can seduce first!”
“So when do you collect?” He regretted it the instant it was said and made no effort to stop the slap he saw coming. His head rocked back with the force of it.
“I deserved that,” he said, rubbing his bruised cheek. “Look, we’re incapable of rational conversation right now, leave it till . . .” He stopped as she suddenly burst into huge, body-shaking sobs.
Swearing, he grabbed hold of her and hauled her into his room, sealing the door shut, then hitting the privacy lock.
“Gods, Zays
hul, stop crying! Someone will hear you,” he said urgently, holding her tightly against his chest in an effort to stifle her sobs. It made no difference, she continued to cry, her hands now clutching frantically at his robe.
Her anger had gone, and in its place, her distress was flooding through his mind, tearing at him as badly as it was her. Her thoughts were so jumbled that nothing made any sense to him. Threats, or warnings about being discovered wouldn’t do any good, she was beyond reasoning with.
Reaching for the air conditioner controls, he set the cold air up to full. He had to keep his wits about him right now. Three of his people had rooms opposite his, and two belonged to Banner and Dzaou.
He moved her farther into the lounge, away from the door and closer to the stream of cold air that was issuing from a vent in the ceiling. Bending over her, he began whispering in her ear, talking to her as he would to Kashini or Shaidan.
“Hush, Zayshul. Hush. It’s all right.” He began to stroke the back of her head, wondering what else he could do to calm her. He didn’t dare use the most effective method, that of directly affecting her mind. He’d purred to soothe Kashini, and he remembered that when Zayshul had dressed his wound the first time, he’d been purring; that had pleased her. It was worth trying—he was getting desperate.
It wasn’t easy to force himself to purr under the circumstances, but somehow he managed it.
“Hush,” he said. “Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. Talk to me.”
Lulled by the deep, rhythmic rumble he was making, gradually, her sobs began to subside.
“That’s better,” he said gently, resting his head against hers as he stopped purring. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Her scent was sharper, he noticed, slightly less potent, and he knew that for the moment, he could afford to let his mind remain passively open to hers.
“I didn’t betray you,” she sobbed. “We were both drugged and used! I have no memory of going to you that night. I lied when I said I had because you wouldn’t believe me, but it must have been me because it’s the only way my marker could be on you.”
He could feel her absolute belief in what she was saying. She genuinely had no memory of pairing with him on the Kz’adul.
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