by M. D. Bowden
Sammy sits up and I hurry to Alfie’s side, still in my pyjamas.
“What’s happened?” says Sammy.
A tear runs down Alfie’s cheek. “Bloodsuckers got Jimmy.”
“What? No!” Sammy says. “How?”
He shrugs. “Don’t know, but when Mic rang him last night to get everyone to meet up he couldn’t get through. Bloodsuckers must have planned it – attacked him around the time they ganged up on us…. So Mic traced him, then went out and found … his neck was ripped apart.”
Sammy is silent, staring at Alfie in shock. Tears are flooding down Alfie’s cheeks, and my heart feels like it’s being squashed. If that had happened to Alfie … it would be too awful. It’s awful anyway, but I don’t want to lose Alfie … it would feel like losing a part of myself. I sit down by his side and wrap my arm around his chest while leaning my head on his shoulder. He puts a hand on my arm and absentmindedly strokes it.
It doesn’t seem like the right time to be thinking about such things, but I’m suddenly not sure I do see Alfie as just a friend; I care about him too much.
“We’re going to have a funeral this afternoon,” Alfie says. “Will you come, Ava?”
“Are you sure? I didn’t know him, wouldn’t it be weird?”
“No, I’d like you to be there,” Alfie says.
“Ok, I’ll come.”
“Good.” He kisses the top of my head and I hug him tighter.
Alfie takes his brother back to their camp on his bike, and then returns to pick me up. Their camp is far busier than I’ve seen it before, which I guess means everyone has come back for the funeral. There are twenty-two, no … now twenty-one, werewolves. No-one pays me much attention, they are all either crying or silent, so I stay quiet and stick by Alfie’s side. I’ve only ever been to one funeral before, and that was for my granny when I was ten, and she had been ill for a long time so I think everyone had come to terms with the fact she was dying before it actually happened. The atmosphere here is very different – everyone seems to be in shock.
We all gather in the woods near to the camp, by a deep grave which has already been dug. Four large men come towards us carrying Jimmy’s body – it’s wrapped in white sheets so we can’t see his face, or his injuries, and the crowd moves apart to let them walk through and then they slowly lower him into the grave. Everyone is crying, including me – I can’t help but get caught up in everyone’s emotion, and seeing Alfie so sad is heartbreaking.
Two young girls come forward and scatter wild flowers into the grave, then run back to their parents in tears, and then everyone comes forwards, one at a time, and throws a spade-full of earth over Jimmy’s body, while whispering words I can’t hear to Jimmy, or his spirit, or God – I’m not sure what they believe.
After this we all go back to Mic’s cabin, which is the largest of everyone’s, for drinks, although after a toast to Jimmy everyone switches from alcohol to tea, so they aren’t affected for the evening’s hunt ahead. It’s a serious affair with people talking in quiet voices about everything they can think of about Jimmy. I stick with Alfie, and find myself shedding tears repeatedly. No-one wants to go hunting when night comes, and to be safe Mic divides everyone up into threes and fours, depending on experience, and makes sure everyone is patrolling near to another team in case backups are needed.
I’m with Alfie, of course, and Sammy, and Alfie’s older brother, Mathew. I would guess Mathew is about thirty-five – he doesn’t look as much like Alfie as Sammy does as he’s much shorter, but he still seems very large as his muscles are double the size of Alfie’s, and he has very short hair and a beard. Mic has decided having patrols along the river is a good idea again, and this is the area he’s given us.
Walking along the river in such a big group feels like it’s a less effective strategy as it will be pretty hard for anyone not to notice us coming. I can see why they normally go out hunting alone – even if it is more dangerous. When I point this out we decide to split up, but to still stay within each other’s sight. I stay with Alfie, Sammy walks about thirty metres ahead of us, and Mathew about thirty metres behind. This is an advantage as it makes it less tempting to talk, too, which would definitely give us away, and I feel more comfortable just walking along beside Alfie in silence as I’m used to that now.
Regardless of this strategy we have an uneventful night, which is a relief after the last couple of nights – although I would have preferred it if we’d managed to take a vampire down. When dawn arrives Mathew checks in with Mic and finds out that no-one had any run-ins with vampires at all. A teenage boy was killed though, so it’s not like they’ve gone into hiding – it seems like they’re getting more aware of our presence and better at hiding themselves – which doesn’t strike me as a good thing.
After the sun has risen Alfie and I split off from the rest of the group and Alfie walks back towards my place with me; as we get nearer the sun looks beautiful rising above the water.
“Why don’t we sit here for a bit?” I say, pointing at the wall by the water’s edge.
Alfie nods, and follows me; I sit on the edge of the path, my legs dangling over the water, Alfie sits close by, lightly touching my side. I lean my head on his shoulder and watch the reflections on the water, and try to stifle a yawn.
“It’s been a long night, huh?” Alfie says.
“Hmmm, yeah, sleepy. It’s nice being out here though, ’tis so beautiful.”
“It is that.” Alfie pauses for a moment, but he draws a breath, then hesitates, like he’s about to say something else but doesn’t know how.
I lift my head off his shoulder and look at him. “What is it?”
He looks into my eyes, and I look back at his – with their beautiful amber rings. His pupils are reflecting the light from the morning sun. I find myself leaning towards him, at the same time as he’s leaning towards me and our faces are getting very close – I can feel his warm breath on my cool skin.
“Ava…” he whispers.
“Yes?” I whisper back, without getting further away. My heart is thudding hard.
“You said you didn’t want this….”
I remember how I felt when we found out Jimmy got killed … the idea of losing Alfie … how it made my heart contract painfully.
“I think I’m changing my mind,” I say, smiling bashfully.
His face splits into a wide grin, the first time I’ve seen him smile properly for a couple of days. "That’s good news,” he says, and chuckles quietly.
DANGER
Alfie raises his hand and strokes my cheek lightly with his fingertips – it feels warm and slightly rough, and makes my skin feel like it’s glowing where he’s touching me. Then he cups the back of my neck with his hand and his lips are getting closer, three centimetres away … two centimetres … one centimetre … and then they press against mine. I can hardly breathe. His lips feel smooth and soft and it feels very right to be this close to him. He breaks away and then kisses the side of my mouth gently, then moves back and looks into my eyes. I smile at him giddily. And lean forwards to kiss him again. He kisses me back, but then pulls away.
“We shouldn’t be doing this now…” he says.
I feel puzzled, and not sure how to respond, and my heart is contracting with fear. “Everything alright?” I manage.
“Umm, yeah, I want to kiss you again, Ava – and hope I will. But so much has happened the last couple of days … I think we should wait and see if you still like me after the sense of danger and urgency has passed.”
Relief sweeps over me. “That’s very sensible of you,” I tease.
“I know I might seem reckless sometimes, but I care for you, Ava. I don’t want to wreck this.”
“I care about you too,” I say.
He puts his arm around me and pulls me against his side. I look back at the ripples on the surface of the water and lean my head on his shoulder again.
“I know you do,” he says, and it sounds like he’s smiling, although he st
ill sounds sad – which is understandable after what happened to his friend.
I yawn again.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” Alfie says, getting to his feet and extending his hand to me.
I take it and let him pull me to my feet, and he holds my hand a little longer than a friend would, before letting me go.
At my door I say, “You staying over?”
He shakes his head. “Not tonight, Ava,” he says, and this time it’s him grinning bashfully. “If I come in I’m not going to manage to stick to what I said. I want to kiss you again.”
I feel my cheeks heat. “You could kiss me goodbye,” I suggest quietly.
He grins. “Maybe I could.”
He steps closer and tilts my head back then leans down and kisses my lips briefly, then kisses me again on my cheek. “See you tonight,” he whispers, and then turns and leaves, waving and grinning at me before he goes out of sight.
I grin to myself. I kissed him! He kissed me! I want to kiss him again, really, really badly. I want to curl up next to him and have his arms around me and stay awake with him, kissing him again and again.
Reluctantly I turn my back to the day and go back into my flat. I make myself a herbal tea and have a bowl of cereal before closing the curtains and getting ready for bed. Once I’m lying in the dark I’m so tired and yet I can’t drift off; I’m still grinning about Alfie, and I feel all warm and fuzzy.
I can’t believe I’m feeling like this now, when only a couple of days ago I was longing for Casper. I must have been under some trance. It dawns on me now that my feelings have been growing for Alfie ever since I met him. I really liked him immediately, of course – but not desperately, or passionately. But the more time I’ve spent with him, the closer I feel, and the more time I want to spend with him, and when he’s not about it feels like something is missing. Kissing him felt really good! I want to kiss him for longer … maybe do more than just kiss him.
But Casper … the way I felt about him was completely different. My desire for him was intense right from the beginning, but that was it. It wasn’t based on anything but his looks and chemistry, maybe vampire chemistry – tricking my body into thinking he was the best thing ever. Thinking about being with him – it still brings back a feeling of longing, but it’s tainted by despair. When I think of Alfie I feel rosy and my heart is glowing. When I think of Casper I feel betrayed and angry. Disgusted. How could he have killed that girl? How many people has he killed? It makes me feel sick.
I fall into a restless dream where Alfie and Casper are fighting, and Alfie is in danger, before succumbing to a deep sleep. I sleep for so long I barely manage a couple of hours of work before getting ready to hunt again.
We hunt through the night as part of the same group, but again we don’t even see a vampire. There’s a sense of tension within the group, as if everyone believes something is wrong, but no-one knows what it is. Alfie takes me home alone again at the end of the night.
At my door he stops and looks up at the grey sky. He looks back into my eyes and says, “The full moon is approaching. Would you like to camp out with me again?”
“Yes, I would love that,” I say, ideas of getting to kiss Alfie for longer entering my head. And seeing him as a wolf again, of course. “But what about your pack? Will they let you be out at night without the rest of the team?”
“Yeah, it’s not a problem when I’m a wolf – I have the strength of four bloodsuckers combined. And remember they stick to the city anyway – more victims there.”
“When is it?”
“Night after next. Pick you up at two that day?”
I nod, smiling, and suddenly my heart is pounding again, wondering if he’ll kiss me goodbye.
“Come here,” he says, and hugs me against his chest, then leans down and kisses my forehead. “I’ll see you tonight.”
When he’s gone I touch where he kissed me and smile. Not on the lips, but still a kiss. Goodnight, Alfie, I think, and blow a kiss in the direction he left, then go to bed looking forward to camping out with him and seeing him as a wolf again.
***
The time feels like it’s slowed down as I can’t wait, but it passes in the end and Alfie’s knocking on my door to take me out of the city. I’ve packed a rucksack myself this time – so I have things like a toothbrush. I buzz Alfie in and he’s up the stairs so fast, taking them three at a time. He grins when he sees me.
“Hey, Ava,” he says, rushes towards me and picks me up in his arms, then spins me around.
“Hey, you’ll drop me,” I say, giggling.
“I could never drop you,” he says, then leans in and kisses me on the lips.
Ummm.
Then he pulls away and looks giddily into my eyes. “It’s good to see you.”
“And you,” I say, looking from his eyes to his lips.
He laughs, and puts me down. “I always feel psyched when the full moon’s approaching.”
“I can tell,” I say, straightening my clothes. “I’m looking forward to seeing you as a wolf again.”
He grins. “You ready?”
“Yep.”
I follow him out to his motorbike. This time it’s loaded with gear strapped to the back, but there’s just about enough room for me to still sit behind him. I wrap my arms around him, lean my head against his back and hold on very tightly as he accelerates up the hill. It still takes my breath away to be on the back of his bike, but it feels so good to have my body pressed up against his like this.
“You alright back there, Ava?” Alfie shouts to me, as he zips around the traffic.
“Think so!” I call back, and hug him tighter.
I relax when we’re out on the country lanes and away from the city rush, and enjoy watching as we pass fields filled with grass-munching cows.
Alfie pulls into the same field as before and we cross the grass until he puts on the brakes and we carry our gear across to the camp fire area.
“I could manage without the tent – I don’t suppose I’ll get much sleep,” I say.
“Better put it up in case it rains,” Alfie says. “Don’t want you to have to do it in the middle of the night,” he says, laughing at me.
“Hey! I could do it!”
“I’m sure you could, but better I help you now, hey?”
I glare at him, and he laughs again, then I give in and smile. “Ok then.”
We put up the tent together, and then I help him collect wood for the fire. I sit back and let him light it though – I’m happy not to do everything myself, and anyway, I like watching him – and he seems to enjoy it. When it’s crackling he comes and sits next to me on the log, and slides closer so that the side of his body is pressed against mine. The whole side of my arm and leg feels tingly where he’s touching me – it feels quite delicious, and I lean my body into his. I want to kiss him again, but I don’t know if he wants to … and I’m scared.… We’re out here alone … if I kissed him, theoretically we wouldn’t have to stop … and I want to kiss him so badly … but I don’t know how far I’m ready to go.
And I don’t know if he wants to kiss me. Instead I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, breathing him in.
“How long is it until you’ll change?” I ask him, looking up at the darkening sky. It is clear at the moment so it’s likely to be freezing, but at least I will see the moon above us which means I’ll get to see Alfie better. I can see the first star glint faintly above us.
“Not long – half an hour-ish,” he murmurs, his lips brushing the top of my head. “Shame you can’t change with me.”
“Hey, it’s great that you’re a wolf, but I’m quite happy being human – so don’t get any ideas about biting me.”
He chuckles. “You’ve forgotten the basic werewolf rules – I can’t change you – that’s a myth.”
“Yeah, yeah, I remember – but we can make werewolf babies. Not that I’m suggesting we do…” I quickly add.
This time he laughs louder.
He loops his arm around my waist – then starts to tickle me.
“Hey, I hate being tickled!” I say, but I giggle anyway, turning to face him.
He stops straightaway, but he keeps his hand on my waist. We look into each other’s eyes, and I could swear his are glowing more than normal – they are beautiful with their amber lines. His face is edging closer, and closer, still looking intently into my eyes. I blink, and his lips are on mine – and they stay there – pressing firmly against my mouth.
I close my eyes and sink into the kiss, kissing him back, my lips parting with his. He squeezes my waist, and touches my other side with his other hand, squeezing there too. His lips move away by a centimetre and then come back to mine, kissing me again. I raise my hands and touch his upper arms – they feel solid, holding me firmly, and I grip them, kissing him again.
His tongue presses against mine and he shifts from the log, pushing my legs apart and kneeling between them on the ground in front of me, still kissing me, our bodies against each other now, my chest pressed against his. Our tongues move against each other and I raise my hands to his head, moving my fingers between the short hair at the back, and then running my fingers down his spine.
“Ava…” he whispers against my mouth.
I kiss him again, tightening my grip on his torso, and he starts kissing my jaw, and my neck, and I melt against him, enveloped in a bubble of warmness.
“We’ve got to stop,” he whispers, “I’m going to change soon.”
I find his lips again and give him a final firm kiss, and then break away, grinning bashfully. He pulls me back to him and holds me tightly against him, then gets up. He picks up a blanket and wraps it around my shoulders, then stands tall and pulls his top over his head, exposing his chest. He tosses it to the floor and looks back at me, his eyes really glowing now. I’d forgotten about the whole needing to strip thing – it really doesn’t help me stop wanting his body closer to mine.
“You’ve got to stop looking at me like that, Ava, or I’ll be kissing you as I change.”
“I thought the point of me being here was to watch you.”