by Kylie Chan
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Yes, now. So much.’ I pushed against him, writhing with more than need. ‘Now.’
He rotated inside me and the stars exploded. The Turtle was speaking with John’s voice some distance away, but I didn’t really hear it. The stars coalesced into a bright point of need within me, and then he pushed again and everything went away for a long time. The stars spun wildly around me and I was completely submerged in his scent, his exquisite black scales, and his love for me.
It was like coming down from an incredible high as we lay side by side in serpent form on the floor, still wrapped comfortably around each other.
‘Heavens, that was wonderful,’ he breathed.
‘I’ve never felt anything like it.’ I flicked my tongue; the scents were still around us. ‘I could just lie like this forever, it was even better than the Turtle.’ I raised my head. ‘Oh. Sorry.’
‘Nothing to apologise for,’ the Turtle said from the sofa above us, its voice warm and satisfied. It was reclining in human form with an expression of contentment I’d never seen on John’s face before, its head resting on its arm. It sat up. ‘I haven’t done that in ages. I’m glad we had this final chance.’
‘I wish my snake form could accommodate both of you like my human form can,’ I said, almost to myself.
The serpent made a deep hissing sound and its scent filled the air around us again.
I slid against him, making the scent stronger. ‘More?’
He rubbed his head against mine. ‘Yes, please.’
‘Can you?’
‘There’s two of them, remember?’
The Turtle made a soft sound of pleasure and fell back on the sofa.
‘You’re not missing out?’ I said to the Turtle.
‘I’m right there with you,’ the Turtle said. ‘Like . . .’ The Serpent wrapped itself around me to hold me tight, and I squeaked with pleasure. ‘This.’
* * *
We lay on the carpet in the living room, side by side. The Turtle reclined on the couch in human form, dozing as well. I was warm and comfortable and didn’t want to move.
‘We should have done this a long time ago,’ I said. ‘Wait. What the hell? I feel it! I could do it.’
‘Are you okay?’ he said. The Serpent touched its head to mine.
‘John, I have everything while I’m snake. All my internal organs. All of them. And I could keep your seed and use it later to make . . .’ I took a deep breath. ‘Wow. Little serpent babies.’
‘You have to stay snake for the whole process to succeed,’ he said. ‘With a big snake Shen it can take up to a year.’
‘Would the children be . . . children? Would they be sentient? They wouldn’t be animals, would they?’
‘No. They’re always serpent Shen.’
‘I would lay the eggs and leave them.’
‘That’s what we do.’ He grunted and shifted next to me. ‘Let me up, I want to rejoin.’
I uncurled from around him. The Turtle stepped off the couch, changed to True Form, and the Serpent coiled around it. I changed back to human and sat on the floor next to him. He rubbed his snake head affectionately against me.
‘It’s gone,’ I said.
‘That’s how it works.’
‘You don’t have a problem with me . . .? I mean, we could have had more children.’
‘It’s your choice what you do with your body, Emma. Whatever form you take, it is your decision alone.’
I leaned my head against him. ‘Maybe one day.’
His voice was warm and low. ‘Maybe. When you’re ready. But not for a long time now.’
‘You’re sure we’ll lose?’
‘Absolutely positive, love. We have no chance.’
I rubbed the back of my head against his smooth shell. ‘How much time do we have left?’
‘All the time in the world.’ He changed to human form, stood, and reached down to me. ‘Come to bed, my love, and hold me. Because it is our last time.’
I took his hand and he helped me up. I wrapped my arm around his waist and we walked into the bedroom. When we were in bed, we held each other tight, and spent the rest of the night making plans for a future we probably wouldn’t have. Neither of us wanted to see the dawn.
* * *
In the morning I did a final patrol of the Mountain, checking the disposition of our defences. An awful sense of foreboding filled me. This was the last time I would be able to wander through our Mountain home and enjoy the sounds of the students and the fresh pine-filled air. If they won, the demons could finish the job they’d been trying to do for many years and destroy the Mountain completely. When they won. The sure knowledge filled me that they would attack and they would win; and it didn’t matter how much we fought, we would lose.
I walked alongside a row of cherry and plum trees that framed the path for two hundred metres along the cliff edge. The compound’s wall stood on the far side of the fifty-metre-wide chasm, with the remaining Disciples and Celestial Masters patrolling its top. The plum trees had finished; their dark red flowers bloomed at the end of the snow and peeked through the white as a promise of future warmth. The cherries were in full blossom and shedding a flurry of pink petals that covered the ground. I raised my hand to touch one as it fluttered past me, certain in the knowledge that these trees would not be gracing the Mountain with their beauty for much longer. The demons took great delight in destroying every lovely thing we created.
I wanted to be with John, but his first allegiance was to the Heavens and he stood with the army outside the Northern Palace. It was up to the Celestial Masters and me to lead the defence of the Mountain and my family. The remaining Disciples were young, undertrained, underdisciplined and terrified. In the last forty-eight hours, many of them had returned to their families on the Earthly and I didn’t blame them. If the Northern Heavens fell, there was no way we could retain the Mountain. All the Heavens would fall.
My phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket: my mother.
‘Yes, Mum?’
‘Sorry to call you again, but my nerves are just so on edge. Have you heard anything?’
‘No. Nothing’s happened.’
‘We have less than an hour before they attack — are you far away?’
‘Not far, I’m near the admin section, I can be there in a couple of minutes. Try not to worry too much.’
She was silent for a moment, then her voice came back very faintly and full of biting sarcasm. ‘She says try not to worry . . .’ she said as she ended the call.
Emma.
My heart leapt. John.
Where are you?
Can you look through my eyes?
He was silent a moment, then, I suppose it makes no difference now. His consciousness touched mine and we shared the beauty of the trees. Thank you.
We watched the trees silently together. I brushed my hand through the clouds of petals and John shared my appreciation for them.
The future does not look good, he said.
I know.
I would give anything to spend another hour with you before everything is destroyed.
Me too, I said. And we both know that won’t happen.
You will be safe.
And for the rest of my long life, my safety will mean that you are in a cage in True Form being tortured by demons.
Worth it, he said. Just promise that you’ll keep Simone safe for me.
I will.
We won’t have a chance to say goodbye, he said. But I want you to know: all of it was worth it. All of it will be worth it. Do not doubt for a second that I am glad to pay the price. And I am sure that our daughter will one day grow strong enough to surprise us all.
I love you, John, and all of it was worth it for me as well.
I am sorry that I led you here.
I’m not. Remember that you vowed to marry me, even if the Heavens and the Earth —
I’m sorry, my love, but our time is finished.
I caught one of the
petals between my fingers, slid it into the pocket of my Mountain uniform, and hurried back to Persimmon Tree.
I joined my parents in the living room. Greg had tuned the television to the camera mounted on the Northern Palace’s wall that pointed at the field next to the lake. I ran my eye over the defensive features for the hundredth time.
The lake was on the left; any aquatic demon would need to exit the water to attack us and would lose its underwater advantage. The field was wide and flat and the ground was solid, but would eventually turn to mud once battle had commenced. Regardless of the surface, soldiers always ended up fighting in mud. The land to the right of the lake spread to low rolling hills, meaning that we couldn’t hold the demon force in a small, narrow area and there was a chance they could flank us and cut us off. Defensive barriers had been placed fifty metres in front of our army; they were a metre and a half tall, sloped upwards and ended in spikes that would impale any attackers. We’d used the last of the steel and wood to build them, and placed razor wire in the gaps where we hadn’t had enough raw materials to cover the entire area. The demons would have to work through them to reach us and fight hand-to-hand; the bottlenecks would throttle their movement.
‘You should be with him,’ my father said, nodding towards John’s back.
He stood on a wooden raised platform overlooking the field. The army stood in ranks facing away from the camera, ready for the attack. Banners on pikes stood out as markers for the largest Immortals. The Four Winds were there, surrounded by their own remaining soldiers; and the Mountain’s senior Disciples in their black livery stood under a black banner embossed in silver with the Seven Stars of the Big Dipper. The Thirty-Six and the remaining demons of the army stood in formation around them. So few to face so many.
John was deep in discussion with Er Lang; and Simone stood next to them in her Celestial Form, accompanied by her horse, Freddo. She looked tense and frightened. John turned and said something to Simone, and she glared at him and shook her head. He spoke to her again and she frowned, then she and Freddo disappeared.
‘There are two possible outcomes,’ I said, checking behind me that the boys couldn’t hear from the bedroom where Yi Hao was keeping them busy. ‘Either we win, or we lose. If we win, John will come back and we’ll celebrate. If we lose, John will die, the Demon King will have him in the Pits, and it’ll be up to me to defend you.’
‘Are you sure you can negotiate something with them if you lose?’ Amanda said.
I winced at her use of ‘you’. I wasn’t one of them any longer.
‘I have an agreement with him already,’ I said. ‘You’ll be safe.’
‘Then why do you need to stay here and defend us?’ my mother said.
I rose and paced from one end of the room to the other. ‘To make sure he sticks to our agreement.’
‘Wait,’ my mother said. ‘What agreement? What are you giving him?’
‘Shut up, Mum,’ Jennifer said.
‘Are you giving yourself in return for our safety?’ my father said.
I didn’t reply. I just stood behind the couch with my arms crossed and watched the television.
‘Emma!’ my father said.
‘Let it go, Dad,’ Jennifer said.
On the TV, John and Er Lang nodded together and the message came through telepathically.
No demons sighted as yet. They will attack at noon. Stay close and safe.
‘Emma, we spoke about this,’ my father said.
I was silent, watching the screen.
‘Emma,’ he growled.
‘None of us will be hurt if the Celestial loses,’ I said. ‘The King will use you as hostages —’
My mother moaned softly with dismay.
‘— to ensure my good behaviour because he needs me to do something else. We’ll all be safe.’
‘How safe?’ Jennifer said.
‘Whatever happens, you’ll be safe.’
‘Are you sure?’ Amanda said.
‘I promise.’
‘Why do I not believe you?’ Jennifer said, looking away. ‘The boys have already been captured and tortured because of you.’
‘What does he need you to do?’ my father said. ‘If it’s what I think it is —’
‘No. He needs me to be a mother to his child. That’s all.’
‘You can’t be a mother,’ Amanda said. ‘You —’
‘Shut up, Amanda,’ Jennifer said.
‘Stop telling everybody to shut up!’ Amanda snapped.
‘Well, you stop asking stupid questions!’ Jennifer snapped back. ‘She’s one of them. She can change into a snake, she can probably change into a demon, and she can probably lay disgusting eggs if she lets the Demon King mate with her.’
I looked away.
‘Jennifer, that’s enough,’ my mother said, a sharp edge to her usually mild voice. ‘I suggest you go make sure that little Matthew is okay. It sounds like Colin and Andrew are giving him a hard time.’
‘He’s fine,’ Jennifer grunted, but she pulled herself up and went to the children anyway.
‘Is she right?’ my mother said after she’d gone.
‘No. I can’t have any more children.’
‘Then what will you be a mother to? His child? He has hundreds of children. Why this one? Why you?’
‘Wait — more children?’ Amanda said.
My mother put it together straight away, and my father wasn’t far behind.
‘I never saw you pregnant,’ my mother said.
‘Jesus, Emma, he has your child?’ my father said.
‘It was when you were held by him in Europe, wasn’t it?’ Amanda said. ‘You were gone for weeks, and the King had control over you.’
‘You had a child with the Demon King?’ my mother said.
‘And John understands and has stayed with you,’ my father said. ‘He’s a prince.’
‘Emperor,’ I said. ‘I was already pregnant when the Demon King took me. The child is mine and John’s.’ I tried to keep control of my voice and failed. ‘The Demon King ripped him out of me prematurely and kept the baby for himself. That’s why I can’t have any more.’
My mother blanched and fell to sit on the couch with her hand over her mouth.
‘Oh, Emma,’ Amanda said.
‘His name is Frankie. Because of his . . . unusual heritage, he’s maturing much faster than a normal human child. He’s about eighteen months old, but he looks like a ten year old.’
‘The Demon King is holding him hostage to control you?’ my mother said.
I watched the screen and decided to tell them the truth. ‘As John’s son, he can take the Jade Throne if the Demon King wins. The King’s set him up to be a puppet Jade Emperor. He needs me to escort Frankie to Heaven when he takes the throne. Only his biological mother can do that.’
‘Why haven’t you tried to rescue him?’ my father said.
‘I have. Twice. You know how John is always saying “Going in to attempt a rescue in the centre of their power is a foolish waste of life”? It is. Leo and Martin nearly ended up . . .’
I didn’t say it. On the screen, the army stood silent and motionless, waiting for the attack. The camera’s time stamp said 11:20; we had forty more minutes.
I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain in my chest that always appeared when I thought of Frankie. ‘If the Demon King wins, he wants me to be Frankie’s nanny. As his biological mother I have to be the one to protect him when the King brings him up to the Heavens to take the throne.’
‘He wants you to be nanny to your own child? That’s monstrous,’ my mother said.
‘I’d be with him, I suppose,’ I said with forced cheerfulness.
On the screen, the sky was a brilliant Celestial blue with the occasional fluffy white cloud; a delightful day. The Celestial soldiers’ robes and hair were lifted by the fresh spring breeze.
‘He’s a lovely boy,’ I went on as I watched the soldiers. ‘Sweet nature, big dark eyes from his father, t
awny hair from me. He’s curious and gentle and bright as a little button.’ My throat filled and I swallowed it. ‘He’s not evil like they are, he’s too caring, and they hate it. They want him completely obedient, so . . .’ It was very hard to speak. ‘They broke his arm for no reason at all, just to keep him terrified and under their control.’
My mother rushed to wrap her arms around me. I let go into her shoulder, my throat strangling me and my chest hurting.
‘If we win, I’ll never see him again,’ I said, choking on the words. ‘And if we lose, I’ll never see John again. The best I can hope for is that all of you are safe.’
‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ Jennifer said from behind me.
‘You need to share, honey,’ my father said next to me. ‘We’re your family.’
‘Another grandson,’ my mother said into my hair.
Someone stroked my back; Jennifer. ‘You should have told us, Em, that’s awful. We could have helped.’
‘Something’s happening,’ Amanda said, her voice sharp. ‘Dragons!’
I pulled away from my mother, took some gasping breaths and wiped my eyes. Amanda was right: half-a-dozen dragons in True Form, all brilliant glittering colours in the Celestial sunshine, were gathered around John and Er Lang as John spoke to them.
‘What’s he saying?’ my father said. ‘I wish we could hear!’
I linked up with John and rested lightly on his consciousness. He felt me there and touched my mind, aware of my grief, and his warm caring eased my spirit as much as my family’s support.
‘He’s sending them to be sentinels at the edge of the Heavens,’ I said. ‘We don’t know where the demons will attack from, and the guards at the Gates aren’t reporting anything. He’s worried the demons will come in from somewhere else so he’s sending dragons to patrol.’
‘When are the demons supposed to be here?’ my mother said.
‘Pretty,’ Matthew crowed from the doorway, and Colin picked him up and carried him, protesting, back into the room.
Colin reappeared in the doorway. ‘What’s happening?’
‘They’re supposed to be here at noon,’ I said. The time stamp at the corner of the screen said 11:37. ‘We should be able to see them by now. Where are they?’