by A. D. Ryan
“Before you blacked out,” Nick finished for me.
I nodded. “Miranda said something after you left the room, and I think a part of me was just too afraid of the possibility to acknowledge it sooner.”
Another moment of silence fell between us, and Nick turned to face me, propping his leg on the couch between us. “Brooke, you’re freaking me out. What did she say?”
I couldn’t bring myself to say it if it weren’t true. Would it freak him out? Would he be excited? And what if he was either of those things, but the bloodwork proved the opposite, only disappointing him? It wouldn’t be fair. But would it be fair to find out and tell him the results afterward?
Being a grownup sucked on the best of days… Being a grownup and a werewolf sucked even more at the moment.
“She thought I might be…” I paused, my apprehension causing my voice to waver. I glanced at him, eyes lowering to his mouth, distracting me as I remembered the shape and pressure of his lips against my own. I shook the thought loose, because he deserved to know the truth. I found a reserve of confidence buried deep, and I harnessed it before saying, “Pregnant.”
Hesitant, I glanced up at Nick through the corner of my eye. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Somehow, his blank expression of disbelief and shock seemed about right.
“Pregnant?” he finally stammered after a long awkward silence.
“Possibly,” I whispered with a slight tilt of my head. “She did a blood test.” I tapped the envelope against my fingertips.
“So that’s what Bobby was talking about.” He fell silent for another moment, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times before he swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing beneath his scruff. “Open it.”
I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking, so I had to close my eyes and take several deep breaths before I tore the envelope. The piece of paper inside was tri-folded, and it took me another moment to gather the courage to open it. When I finally did, the words were blurry for a second before coming into focus. I scanned the information at the top, making my way to the end where the final result was…
“It’s positive,” I croaked, my stomach rolling as I stood up and paced the room, pressing the back of my hand against my mouth and fighting back a sob. This wasn’t how I saw any of this going, and now was not the time to be growing another little person.
“So you’re…” Nick started, sounding uncertain he understood. “Pregnant?”
Hearing it come from him forced the reality of the situation into place, and I stopped dead in my tracks. “Oh, God,” I sighed, dropping my hand to my side and turning to him. I still wasn’t sure how to read the expression on his face. His concerned gaze held mine, and the air in the room became too thick. Or my lungs were becoming too small. Whatever it was, I was having trouble breathing, and my legs started to tremble. Gravity was about to win. Nick was fast, racing across the room and pulling me against him. I clung to him, desperate for his comfort and support as my entire body shook.
When his hand moved through my hair, lips pressing against my temple, I was finally able to let go of my worry, and I started crying. “Baby, everything is going to be fine. We’ll figure this out together.”
Nick slowly lowered us to the couch, pulling me across his lap, as I absorbed his words. I tried to believe them, but I wasn’t even sure what “fine” was anymore. Everything felt hopeless.
Every time I closed my eyes, all the horrific things I’d witnessed flashed like a slideshow. The demon who wore my brother’s face was holding my parents hostage, threatening their lives unless I surrendered myself to be his guinea pig in his quest to carry on Gianna’s hybridization of the species. And now an unplanned pregnancy I never wanted.
I wrapped my arms around Nick, squeezing tightly and seeking comfort in this confusing time. I tried to focus on him, on everything we’d overcome recently. I tried to focus on the warmth of his embrace and all the good I knew we could accomplish as the leaders of our pack.
Basically, I tried to focus on anything that might help slow my descent into madness.
Sniffling, I lifted my face from the front of his shirt, resting my chin on his shoulder and looking behind him at the wall as my fingers curled into his shirt and I held him close. I thought back to my earlier fear from when Miranda originally posed the possibility, and I whispered, “What if it’s not yours?”
His hand stopped moving through my hair, and his entire body froze. Based on this reaction, I assumed it was a possibility he hadn’t really considered, but I could tell he knew there was definitely a chance that David was the father. I clung tighter, afraid that if he pulled away, I might fall apart, and I couldn’t do this alone.
Much to my surprise, he took a breath and then strengthened his hold on me. “That doesn’t matter,” he whispered.
Tears fell from my eyes unexpectedly when Nick kissed the top of my head, moving his hands up and down my back. “We should try to get some sleep.”
I pulled back, shocked that he could even think about sleep right now. “What about…?”
Nick’s hands cradled my face, thumbs stroking my cheekbones, and he shook his head. “It’s night, and we wouldn’t stand a chance. We should wait until morning when they’re restricted to the shadows. He’s not going to hurt them. We need to talk to the Pack and formulate a plan, and Vince is going to try and contact the Shaman again in the morning.”
“We can’t take the Pack with us,” I told him. “He told me to go alone. He’ll kill my parents before I even get through the front door…assuming there is a front door where he’s keeping them.”
“You’re insane if you think I’m letting you go alone,” Nick argued, eyes glowing brighter as the wolf awoke. “And I’m not saying we take the Pack, but they should be aware of our plans. They should know where we are in case something goes wrong.”
A fog filled my head, and exhaustion zapped me of any energy I thought I had. Nick took notice and offered to make up our makeshift bed and start a fire while I washed up. After washing my face, I returned to the living room to find the fire burning as Nick straightened out the blankets in front of it. He’d found the time to change into a pair of flannel pants that hung low on his hips, and I took a moment to drink in the sight of him. I admired the way the flames cast an orange glow on his skin that danced and flickered across his strong build.
Upon seeing me in the entrance, Nick folded a corner of the blankets back as an invitation, and I accepted, tossing my dirty jeans onto the nearby armchair with the intention of washing them in the morning. I lay on the floor and waited for Nick to join me. He did so after placing another log on the flames, turning his body to face mine, the fire at his back. We lay on our sides, looking into each other’s eyes for a few minutes before he finally spoke.
“I won’t ask you to find out the paternity.” He paused, dropping his eyes and reaching out to run his hand over my arm. “As I said earlier, it doesn’t matter to me.”
I let a small smile of appreciation form on my lips. “How very progressive of you.” Nick slipped his hand beneath the duvet, sliding it down over my hip and then nervously brushing the slight swell of my lower abdomen. The gesture was sweet, but I could sense he wasn’t sure of his boundaries, so I placed my hand over his and pressed it flat against my stomach. “I had no idea my birth control would fail.”
“I should have mentioned it,” Nick offered. “I just figured the odds were so low once you became a wolf that you would have time to figure that all out. And then David died, and I never expected the two of us to…I mean, I hoped we would, but I hadn’t expected it so soon.”
Nick lifted his hand back to my hip and smiled. I could see the apprehension in his eyes, but I also saw a glint of excitement.
“What happens now?” I asked. “What about medical help? Checkups? The birth? With Miranda gone…”
“Layla knows quite a bit,” Nick explained. “She wasn’t a nurse, but she’s a full-blood, so she’s familiar with how our anatom
y works. She should be able to figure out how far along you are and determine a due date.” He paused for a moment. “You should be aware that your pregnancy won’t last as long as a human’s. Your lupine DNA will cut it down to about six months. You’ll be able to shift without fear of harming the baby—which you should know since you’ve been doing so lately without knowing your results.”
“Will the baby…? What I mean is, if David were the father, would the baby be human, or would my altered genetics dominate?”
“There will be about a fifty-fifty chance,” he answered without faltering. “However, if I were the father…”
“Born a wolf.”
Nick nodded. “But he—”
“Or she.”
Smirking, Nick arched an eyebrow and rolled his eyes. “Or she,” he amended, “wouldn’t experience their first shift until somewhere around adolescence. Until that time, they’d learn our history as part of a regular school curriculum.”
“Even if they’re human? Wouldn’t that go against Pack Law? Humans can’t know about us.”
Smirking, Nick half-shrugged. “Something tells me your kid won’t sell you out.”
“Until he’s an unruly teenager who I’ve pissed off by setting boundaries.”
“Or she,” Nick quipped, parroting me before getting serious again. “Look, try not to worry yourself about it. We’ll jump through that hoop when we get to it.”
Stomach flipping, I drank in the information Nick had to offer, still unsure of how I should feel about this new revelation.
I knew that kids were never really in my future, having seen and experienced the things I had in my lifetime, but now that it was actually happening? Now that I could no longer prevent it? I wasn’t sure what to feel.
Fear and uncertainty were still very much present, but there was a sliver of excitement that seemed to shine somewhere in the depths of it all. Some kind of…primal instinct. Was that the wolf? Was it me? I couldn’t pinpoint it, but I surprised myself by welcoming it and letting it slowly swell.
“I don’t think we should tell the Pack about the baby,” I whispered, shocking Nick. “It’s not that I want to keep it hidden, but they’ll be too protective. I’ve seen how everyone keeps Layla from the fray, and, as Alpha and someone who needs to free my parents and Cordelia from a twisted psychopath, I can’t have that.”
Nick didn’t seem receptive to my request, eyebrows furrowing in disagreement. “Brooke, if I’m interpreting what Bobby said tonight, that baby is what he’s after now. It’s why he didn’t try to use you as his guinea pig when he was holding you captive. You can’t keep this from them. They should know so they can keep you safe.”
“It would be a distraction,” I argued. “They’d be worried about me because of the baby, and that concern could get them killed. If they are kept in the dark, they’ll trust me to take care of myself and can focus on the task at hand: rescuing Cordelia.” Placing a hand on Nick’s chest, I stared into his eyes. “You know. That’s enough for now. You can stay by my side. Protect me.”
I could tell he still hated the idea, but he acquiesced, leaning forward and resting his forehead to mine. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
His lips touched mine, gently at first, but soon, I was arching my body into his and weaving my fingers into his soft hair, desperate for the distraction. It was probably highly inappropriate given everything that was on my plate at the moment, but I needed to get lost in him, and his quick acceptance and understanding moved me. I tugged him close, breathing heavily as my body writhed against his.
His hands slid fluidly over my body, warm and tender. His fingers caressed my skin, stroking everywhere, not missing an inch. My hair. My face. My neck. Under my shirt. Over my breasts.
A wild moan broke from my lips, spilling into Nick’s mouth as his kiss consumed me. Unable to control myself any longer, I pulled him on top of me. Groaning, he pressed his chest to mine as I wrapped my arms around him, basking in the need I had to be connected to my mate both physically and emotionally again.
Lost in him, everything else faded away until the horror I’d experienced was nothing more than a bad dream.
One of his hands moved to my hip, fingers slipping beneath the hem of my shirt and tickling the exposed skin of my stomach. My muscles quivered in response, and I expelled a breathy laugh against his lips as his fingers curled against my skin, scratching their way down my back. The spark of desire that had been lit with that first kiss was now a full-blown blaze. My body was on fire, a live wire that snapped and crackled every time Nick touched me.
Looping his thumb into the waist of my shorts, Nick slid them down over my hips, and I shimmied out of them awkwardly while he removed his own pants. Soon, he was pulling me back to him, his hand on my backside, and rolling me on top of him.
He thrust his hips upward, my toes curling when his arousal pressed against me. I moaned against his mouth, allowing his tongue to sweep over mine as he sought to deepen the kiss.
Rough, warm hands continued their journey up my body, pushing my shirt over my breasts as his hands encased them, fingers tweaking, stroking, teasing. My skin rippled with goosebumps, and in a split second, Nick was sitting up, chest pressed to mine, hands splayed on my now-bare back after tossing my shirt to the floor behind him.
Holding his lust-filled gaze, I rose onto my knees before slowly lowering onto him. His eyes threatened to close at the sensation of being inside me, but he forced them to stay open, watching me as we started to move together. His hand found its way into my hair, pulling me toward him and pressing his lips to mine as our hips undulated, propelling us both toward our climax. Overwhelming sensations started to pull me under, waves of ecstasy rolling over me gradually and making my toes curl. Nick maintained a steady pace until we achieved mutual satisfaction, holding back our cries of pleasure out of respect for everyone else in the house.
Panting and sweaty, hearts beating hard, we collapsed to the floor. Nick’s fingers trailed up and down my side, lulling me to sleep. “I love you,” he murmured against the top of my head.
I hummed, pressing myself closer to him and draping a leg over his as I rested my head on his chest. “I love you, too.”
“I know it seems scary,” he continued as I listened to his rhythmic heartbeat, “but we’ll figure this out. Everything is going to be okay.”
I looked up at him, resting my chin on his chest. “I believe you.”
He smiled. “Get some sleep. Battle strategies are stronger when one is well-rested.”
Chapter28 | recover
I woke to sunlight for the first time in weeks. The living room was bathed in warm, rich light as it shone through the floor-to-ceiling windows and spread across the floor. I stretched, feeling blissful and content…for about thirty seconds before I remembered the events of the night before, and it didn’t take long for me to realize I was alone in bed.
I sat up, holding the blanket to my chest as I looked around the living room. Nick was nowhere to be found, but I could hear voices coming from the kitchen, so I turned and reached for the shirt I’d been wearing the night before.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Nick greeted, entering the room with two steaming coffee cups in his hands. Excited for the caffeine, I pulled the top on and let the blanket fall to my waist.
“Hey. You been up long?”
Nick shook his head and handed me one of the mugs. “Fifteen minutes, maybe. I heard the others starting on breakfast, smelled the coffee.” He smiled, watching me sip my coffee before I searched for my shorts from last night. They were tangled at the foot of our bed. Once they were on, I slipped from the blankets and picked my coffee up again, joining Nick on the couch.
I stared into the coffee, watching the steam rise from the dark liquid, and I could feel Nick’s eyes on me. He seemed worried, and I noticed his fingers constantly moving against the ceramic mug in his hands. Finally, he broke the silence. “How are you feeling this morning?”
I thought abo
ut his question for a moment, taking the time to gauge both my emotional and physical well-being. “Worried.”
“About?”
“My parents. Cordelia.” I bit the inside of my cheek nervously. “Us.”
Nick placed a hand on my lower back, his thumb moving idly back and forth. “You have no reason to worry about us,” he assured me gently.
“I know that, but I can’t help it. It’s going to take some time to get used to.”
“Take all the time you need. In the meantime, can I get you anything? Breakfast is almost ready, and I already let everyone know that we needed to speak with them.”
With a smile, I leaned back against the couch. “Thank you.”
Nick relaxed next to me, his head resting a few inches from mine. The way he looked at me was full of adoration and awe. “You look beautiful this morning.”
I laughed, nudging him with my elbow. “It’s a little early to be drinking, don’t you think?”
He twisted his body to face me fully, bringing his hand to rest upon my belly. It confused me for a split second until reality sank in, and then I placed my hand over his, still a little uncertain how to feel. Everything was still kind of surreal, and I was just about to thank him again for being so amazing about all of this when voices trickled into the room.
“She’s awake!” Zach announced far too enthusiastically for so early in the day.
Nick pulled his hand from beneath mine, and I pulled at my shirt to conceal the slight bulge before sitting up.
“Hey,” I greeted. “How’s breakfast coming along?”
“Layla sent me to come get you. Food’s ready.”
Nick stood first, offering me his hand. We entered the dining room hand-in-hand and took our new seats across from one another. While it would take some getting used to, I couldn’t deny how empowered and confident I felt sitting at the head of the table.
Over breakfast, Nick filled the Pack in on our findings the night before. I interjected where possible, describing the bite mark on the male victim. Jackson spoke up, agreeing with me that it didn’t sound like a vampire attack… But he also didn’t think it sounded like a wolf attack either.