by Rachel Lee
Someday, she promised herself.
Beside her, Duke said nothing. Either he was lost in his own thoughts or he just didn’t speak idly.
That might be difficult to get used to. No casual chitchat? She wasn’t accustomed to people who could remain silent for long. On the other hand, she admitted she wasn’t much for it herself.
A half hour brought them to Ben’s house, set back a few hundred yards from the county road. Tall evergreens towered along the property line, a useful windbreak.
Ben, a slender man wearing jeans and a gray sweatshirt, met them on the porch. His face, ordinarily attractive, now looked gaunt. To judge by the dark circles around his eyes, he hadn’t been sleeping well.
Cat discovered that no introduction was needed. Ben was apparently the same guy Duke had known. Neither of them seemed especially warm in their brief greeting.
The old kitchen was a large room, big enough for a long table that could easily seat a big family or some ranch hands. It must have come with the house, since it was larger than a size most people would have purchased nowadays. Ben seemed awfully alone there.
He waved them to the table, grabbed three mugs in one hand and the coffeepot in the other.
He poured for all of them before sitting across the table. “What’s this about, Duke?”
“Trying to get a picture. I want Larry’s murderer.”
“Don’t we all?” Ben’s laugh was bitter. “You care now?”
“I always cared.”
Ben looked away briefly. “I suppose.”
“I was wrong,” Duke said flatly. “He wasn’t exactly innocent, either. But you always think there’ll be a tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Only tomorrow disappeared.”
Cat watched them both, wishing one or the other would fill in the blanks, but refusing to ask them. She had to let this roll between the two men, at least for now. The tension between them was almost palpable.
“Look,” Duke said, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about Larry’s thirst for justice. I can’t do anything else now except try to make sure he gets it.”
Ben passed a hand over his face, and when he dropped it, there was a sheen in his eyes, as if he were fighting back tears.
“It made him a great investigative reporter,” Ben said tautly. “You should know that.”
“I do know,” Duke replied. “I know it all the way to my gut.”
“Then why did you freeze him out?”
Duke shook his head. “We froze each other out. I was angry because Larry didn’t give me a heads-up on that story about the murders. I kept hoping that the repercussions would die down, but after my next performance report, I realized that story killed my career. If I’d known it was coming, I might have been able to distance myself.”
Ben looked down. “He was right.”
“About what? The crimes? Of course he was. But when his piece hit the papers, I couldn’t begin to do damage control. I was suspected of being his source, when I hadn’t known a thing about it until Larry’s story was smeared all over the papers. Maybe you were suspected, too. I don’t know.”
“I wouldn’t have cared!”
“Maybe you wouldn’t, but you were already terminating. I wasn’t. I was damned with faint praise, and there went any hope I had of promotion. I’m still getting damned.”
Ben half smiled, but it contained no mirth. “No stars for you.”
“Worse, no light colonel. I’m done at twenty.”
It almost seemed they were speaking in code. Cat knew she’d have to ask for some explanations later, but right now she let the men talk.
Ben retorted, “Larry wanted justice for those victims. He wanted to see the perpetrators punished. Your motivations were selfish.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is I felt betrayed by my brother.”
Ben swore quietly. “He couldn’t tell anyone about that story before it hit the presses. Those higher up the food chain would have done everything they could to squash it.”
Duke didn’t answer. Cat wondered if it was because he agreed with what Ben had just said, or if there was another reason. She hoped her growing list of questions would stick with her. She wished she could write them down, but she didn’t want to do anything that might halt this conversation.
Eventually it was Duke who broke the silence. “What was he working on while he was here?”
“I don’t know. Larry was always secretive. I have no idea whether that was to protect the people who gave him information, or if it was for other reasons.”
“Secrets caused us to split,” Duke answered. “Given that story, I’ve got to wonder if he was working on something new that worried someone.”
“I’ve wondered, too,” Ben admitted. “I thought that once he arrived here, we’d be able to be more open about our relationship. No. Larry urged me to keep it quiet.”
“Maybe he thought he was protecting you.”
“And maybe he thought the same thing about you. Did you consider that? Why would he think you’d be connected to his reporting in any way?”
“He didn’t know the Army,” Duke answered. “I’ll grant him that in retrospect.”
Ben looked as if he might have eaten something sour. “I do know the military. I understand. God knows I faced enough of it.”
Once again Duke shook his head. “I never heard a word about your sexual orientation.”
“A lot of people had figured it out. Enough so that I wasn’t surprised when my performance reports started going downhill.”
“You, too? I was never in your chain of command, so I didn’t see them.”
For the first time these men shared a look of understanding.
After a minute, Ben spoke again. “It’s a great way to hide prejudice, saying someone is excellent but not rating him or her higher.”
Cat interjected a question, feeling it might be safe. “Better than excellent?”
“Oh yeah,” Duke answered. “Stands out above all peers in the written comments is a good one.”
“Oh man,” she murmured.
“Lots of little, ugly secrets,” Ben remarked. “You can make someone’s life hell without ever revealing something that might be against regulation. You know, like discrimination that policy doesn’t allow.”
She was getting a much clearer idea of what Larry’s story might have done to Duke, and why he might have stopped speaking to his brother. Other details she would ask about later, like the thrust of the story. It could be relevant.
Ben was relaxing a little. Duke seemed to be as well. Evidently they’d gotten past the problem between the brothers. At least for now.
“What are you looking for, Duke?” Ben asked. “My absolution?”
“No. Every single day I’m going to regret that I didn’t try to close the gap between us. Too late for that. I’m hoping you might know something, anything, that could help to find his murderer.”
Ben lifted his hands almost helplessly. “I told the sheriff everything I could think of, and there’s little enough. I’m sure he had enemies from his reporting. I do know that he received threats, some of them death threats. But that was all back East. I don’t think he ever got one here. If he did, he never said a word.”
The rain grew heavier. For the first time, Cat heard it rattling like pellets against the kitchen window. Ben looked around, noticing.
Duke spoke. The man could not be deterred. “Why did he come out here to write a book?”
Ben smiled sadly. “I thought he came for me.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Duke answered. For a few more minutes, he appeared to be looking at something far away. “Larry didn’t ask for a lot. Just to tell a good story and to have his own family. I guess you gave him that, Ben. Thanks.”
Ben nodded, his face sagging once again.
Duke rose then pulled out his cell. “Let me text you so you’ll have my number. If you think of anything...”
“I doubt I will. But if I do, I’ll call Cat.”
Cat was surprised that Duke didn’t bridle. He’d just been effectively dismissed by Ben.
But Duke did no such thing. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll help however I can.”
* * *
THE RAIN WAS still coming down heavily, the distant sky and land meeting in an impenetrable gray. Driving them back to town, Cat tried not to drum her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. She had so many questions.
But Duke remained mute beside her until she finally asked, “Are you going to run in this weather?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“I’m sure, but the question stands.”
“The answer is probably.”
“Well, I want to talk with you, so fit me in.”
At that he turned his head. She glanced his way then returned her attention to the road. Too dangerous to get distracted.
“Pick a time,” she continued. Getting pushy with this guy seemed like the best route.
“As soon as we get back. I’d like a drink.”
An interesting non sequitur. She wondered if he felt a need after that conversation with Ben. “What do you want? I don’t keep anything strong at my house, but I’ve got a few bottles of beer. Or we could go to Mahoney’s bar. It probably isn’t busy at this hour, and they do make a good sandwich. In fact, I’m getting very hungry.”
“It’s late afternoon already.” He sounded surprised.
“Yup.” Not much else she could say.
More silence. The rain fell heavily enough that water couldn’t run off the road fast enough. She slowed even more and waited.
“Any place we can get takeout?”
“Of three places, two of them do it. Well, the market also sells subs. Depends on what your preference is.”
“You’re the one who’s hungry. Me, I eat whenever I can, whatever I can.”
Cat decided instantly. “Then it’s a sub. I’m starved, and a loaded one just might do it for me.”
The rain let up just as they reached the edge of town. The city looked sad in the gray light and rain. It suited her mood perfectly.
The market deli was quick, making the eight-inch subs in a relatively short time. Duke ordered an extra one and insisted on paying.
Cat greeted some of the other customers. Part of the job, although she didn’t mind the casual hellos. People around here rarely ignored someone they knew, and much of the time when you passed somebody in a vehicle, fingers would lift while the palm remained on the steering wheel. A friendly gesture that had almost faded in a lot of places she’d been.
Back at her house, she didn’t bother with plates. They could eat off the wrappers with the assistance of a couple of napkins. Her only effort was to get two bottles of beer out of her fridge and put them on the table.
Duke pulled the tops off both. My, she thought, wasn’t this cozy? Hardly. He looked grim, and she braced herself.
“What was going on back there?” she asked, unable to bury her questions any longer. “It was like the two of you were speaking in code some of the time.”
“It probably sounded that way. I don’t know which part of it I want to discuss right now.”
“You want me to ask questions? Or wait until after you’ve eaten.”
By then he was chewing on a large bite of his sandwich. She joined him as her hunger won over her curiosity. Food first, she decided. She had him temporarily corralled, and everything else could wait. Why ruin good food with heavy emotion?
“You know,” she said presently as food settled into her stomach and quieted the gnawing hunger, “I’ve got a treadmill in my basement. Some weights, too. If you’d rather do that than run in this rain, I’ll share.”
“Thanks. I might take you up on that.”
“No barbells, though. It would be too dangerous when I’m alone. But I do have a curling bar.”
He nodded, then gave her a faint smile. “Got any additional weights for those dumbbells?”
“Oh yeah, iron plates. Can’t make it with those pretty little ones that come in different weights.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Given his career, he was probably an exercise demon. She almost looked forward to watching him wrestle those plates around.
When he finished his first sandwich, he offered her half of the second, but she shook her head. “I’m full, thanks.”
The beer went down smoothly, icy cold and tangy. Then she was done eating, and he was close to it.
“What happened back there?” she asked. “At Ben’s.” As if he needed the elucidation.
“I think Ben and I came to an understanding. At least as far as Larry is concerned. Kind of feeling our way there.”
“What happened between you and Larry?”
His face darkened, and she wasn’t sure he was going to tell her anything. She was pretty sure it was a sore point for him.
He finished eating and wrapped up the other half of the sandwich. “He wrote an investigative piece about the Army. Heads rolled. I was collateral damage.”
A succinct but unrevealing response. “Don’t you think it might be germane to this investigation?”
“In what way? It happened over two years ago. The main thing that strikes me is that I shouldn’t have remained angry for this long.”
“What about Ben? I got the feeling from what you said that he was annoyed with you, too.”
“Annoyed would be an understatement. I was furious that Larry hadn’t let me know that article was coming. Maybe I could have found a way to distance myself, but he sideswiped me. He was really angry with me that I couldn’t understand his position.”
He sighed. “Ben was right, though. If anyone had found out what he was doing, there’d have been a lot of pressure on the paper and maybe on Larry to squash it. Not that I’d have told anyone in so many words. Hell, I didn’t even have to know what it was about. Just mentioning in an ear or two that something was coming and that I didn’t have any other clue might have been enough to stall this storm. At least the part that dumped on me.”
“So it ruined your career?” She folded her sandwich wrapper and reminded herself not to make this sound like an interrogation. He probably wouldn’t like it, and she didn’t want to stem the flow of confidences now that they were coming. She couldn’t help the feeling that they were teetering on the edge of something important. “How could it do that?”
“Easy. Don’t rock the boat.”
“But you didn’t do the rocking.”
“Doesn’t matter. I wasn’t involved in any way with what Larry did. Hell, I didn’t even know until the article appeared that any of it had happened. It sure as hell didn’t involve me or my troops, and it didn’t happen anywhere in my chain of command. A few lower-ranking men in another regiment were arrested, but somebody way up must’ve been chapped. Or felt threatened. Anyway, I was an easy target. Nobody could have touched Larry after that article was published. Maybe they thought they could get back at him through me.” He shrugged. “Whatever. It’s done.”
She hesitated, creasing the waxy paper in front of her until the edges were sharp. “How have they ruined your career? You arrived here in uniform.”
“I’m still in uniform and will be until I hit twenty years. Then I’ll be out.”
She lifted her head, feeling seriously disturbed. “How can you know that?”
“Because my performance reports sank. I should be a lieutenant colonel in order to continue after twenty. I’m now considered ‘low retention,’ which means I’m definitely not going to be asked to stay on.”
“But how can they do that?” Her feelings about this were starting to get tangled. She needed to
understand.
“It’s simple. There are a limited number of people who can get promoted. They don’t find a slot for me, I’m on the way out.”
“What did Ben mean by a star?”
His faint smile looked sour. “I was being fast-tracked and looking good to become a general eventually. I became a major early. Prospects were bright. Now they’re very dim.”
She let that sink in. As she thought it over, however, she could understand why he felt his career had been ruined. She didn’t necessarily understand how all that worked, but he did. He was part of the machinery.
“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling genuinely saddened.
“Me, too. And as the performance reports didn’t improve, I got madder. Ben was right about one thing. I was being selfish.”
The admission surprised her. “Why? Your career was wrecked. That had to be infuriating.”
“Sure, but was that worth cutting off my brother? He’d done the right thing, but I didn’t. I wish it weren’t too late.”
No way to answer that. No point in arguing against feelings. She sighed, then rose and gathered up the remains of their meal. “So now you want justice.”
“I would have wanted it regardless. For Larry.”
She believed him, felt a touch of his grief. “What a mess.”
“Oh yeah.”
She wiped up stray crumbs, then tried to smile at him. “Coffee?”
“I’ve intruded too much.”
She put a hand on her hip. “I might have thought so earlier, but I’m not feeling that way now. This is important. I give a damn about Larry, and now I give a damn about you. You might not want it, but I care. So quiet down. Coffee? Or something else?”
“A beer if you have another.”
As it happened, she did. “I buy this so rarely that you’re in luck.”
“Then why did you buy it?”
“Larry,” she answered simply.
For the first time, they shared a look of real understanding. The sense of connection warmed her. She hadn’t expected to feel this way, not when it came to Duke. Maybe it helped to realize he wasn’t just a monolith of anger and unswaying determination.
As Cat returned to her seat, she said, “You put me off initially.”