by Forest Wells
I left without waiting to see her reaction, half to hopefully reinforce my words, the other half because I didn’t want to see her fear any more.
“Nicely done,” Lonate said. “A good ‘kill’ and a kind heart. You know you had every right to that bone.”
“I didn’t need it,” I said. “I never really wanted it. I just wanted to tease her with it for a while.”
“So why give it back?”
“I didn’t like hearing her cry.”
Lonate ruffed amusement, then added a thoughtful shift in his ears I didn’t quite understand. “Luna, you remind me of my younger siblings. One of them was just like you. He...” Lonate suddenly cringed, as if something had bitten him from the inside. “He was the best of my former pack.”
My head tilted, confused and curious. “Former pack? You didn’t come with Toltan and Martol from theirs?”
He cringed again, and I looked for something chewing on him. “No. I joined the day you were born. I was... I was orphaned. The last of my pack. I found Toltan’s pack and begged to join. He agreed.”
A mocking tone from someone else broke in. “And then you saved us all from a mountain lion, and now you’ve been given the task of watching us. How wonderful.”
My ears turned to find Calon as the pup I’d almost run over a moment ago. He was curled next to Lonate, the last of his share still on his muzzle. You don’t want me fighting your battles for you, but you seek protection from Lonate? There had to be something I was missing, but it didn’t matter. While Lonate had appeared to ignore his comments, I refused to let them go.
“Shut up, Calon,” I said. “We’re not talking to you.”
Before I could think about what I wanted to do next, Calon leapt from his spot, baring his teeth. While they weren’t fully formed yet, they caused pain as Calon’s first bite landed on my shoulder. We traded growls and then I sunk my teeth into Calon’s neck just above the shoulder. We pulled away from each other, both preparing our next strike.
Before we could make a move, Lonate’s head appeared between us, as did his adult growl.
“That’s quite enough. I suggest you drop it before you two get left behind on the next hunt.”
I lowered my ears, tail, and body in surrender. Calon held his ground until Lonate growled at him again. Then he too submitted to Lonate’s authority. When Lonate’s growl faded, Calon slunk away to play with the rest of the litter.
Lonate watched him for a while, until another adult stepped closer to watch.
“Thank you, Luna,” Lonate said.
For what? “He shouldn’t talk to you like that. Besides, like I said, we weren’t talking to him.”
At first, he cringed, then Lonate gave me an oddly affectionate rub against my muzzle. “Don’t lose that, Luna. Not ever.”
I only accepted the rub because I didn’t understand what I was sensing from Lonate. It felt like pain, but of a kind I couldn’t understand or describe. My ears shifted up, down, and sideways, trying to understand the feeling, and how I should be reacting. Even after Lonate stopped to watch Jinta return to her chewing, I had no idea what I should do or feel. Eventually, I shook it off, too confused to try and sort it out.
My eyes instead swept over my siblings, most of whom were playing in the meeting area. Calon had joined them for a moment, but it wasn’t long before he was off to the side, finding a bone of his own to chew on. I turned my ears back, still trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He seemed to have as much attitude as Rajor, but his was different, and there seemed to be more to it than him just hating me.
As for Rajor himself, he was prancing toward Martol with a hunk of meat in his mouth like he’d made the kill. That wolf puts more effort into himself than a family of beavers could put into their dam. If he’d put his energy somewhere else, with a little more attention to common sense as well, he might become a good hunter someday.
As welcome as the thought was, I didn’t expect either to happen anytime soon.
Of course, I had to wonder when he would carry a kill of our own. Despite us being over half the size of the adults, Toltan still wasn’t letting us prove ourselves. For a moment, it had looked like he might. During the hunt earlier, I’d gone searching for the trail, I’d found the doe, and he’d praised me for my efforts. Except he also said my initiative would get me killed one day, and then told us pups to watch and learn. Never mind the fact the doe was badly wounded, or that it had an equally weak foal. All he saw was a mother with her young, and that was that. I’d have been happy to go after either, to show him what we’d learned, but he refused to allow it.
So I had to watch him go for the doe while the foal slipped away. Another kill denied.
As I tried to find sleep, my mind ran through how we could have done it. I imagined me and my siblings waiting for the adults to attack. When the foal bolted, we’d have been there, to conduct our own hunt. Young prey versus young hunters. I don’t know if Rajor would have followed my orders, but the others would have. It would have been enough. We’d work around it, pick our chance, then when the time was right...
I nearly jumped out of my fur when something landed on my back. I yipped in surprise and whirled around, tossing whatever it was onto the ground. I expected to find some crazy eagle looking for a meal it had little chance of carrying. Instead, I found one of the younger pups panting laughter.
“You should see the look on your face,” she said between laughs. I growled at her, to which she pretended to swoon. “Oh, come on now. I was only playing.”
Does the law about killing pups apply to stupid two-moon-olds? “I don’t like surprises.”
The pup rose with a sigh. “Well, you’re no fun at all.”
“Estrella!” Solas, her father, called from the den. “Get your tail over here.”
Estrella’s ears fell while she slinked back to her father. Lonate arrived with an amused ruff while I watched her go.
“I’d keep an eye on that one,” Lonate said. “I hear she asserted her dominance before she left the den. Since then, it’s been no contest among her litter. Kind of reminds me of... never mind.”
“Of what?” I said.
“Nothing. Just the past.”
You’re not getting off that easy. “Which is what? Lonate, why are you so obsessed with ‘the past’? Why does it keep you stuck on that hillside every day?”
Lonate’s ears fell while his eyes went to Estrella. “It’s not something I intend to share, Luna. Not even with you.”
“Why not? I don’t understand...”
A scuffle among the older pups drew our attention. Rajor was at it again, this time trying to steal Calon’s bone. Unlike my game with Jinta, Rajor wasn’t going for a play kill, he was biting and snarling to get Calon to submit to him. As usual, Rajor was doing so with far more aggression than he needed. If he didn’t stop soon, he might draw blood, puppy teeth or not.
Lonate turned with rising fur, but I barked after him.
“Let me,” I said. “I’m going to stop him for good this time.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Lonate said.
“Please, I’m not my brother. Only thing I have in mind is his pain.”
I sprinted at Rajor in full snarl before Lonate could reply. Rajor had gotten Calon on his side and was going for the pin. Rajor was so busy gloating over his coming victory, he never saw me coming. I hit Rajor with all my speed, my jaws landing on his neck. Rajor tried to pull away, but all he did was send us rolling. While the tumble shook me loose, he took a moment to shake himself. I didn’t need to slow at all. I charged back in the moment all four paws were on the ground. Rajor’s eyes went wide just before I laid him flat on his back. He bit and pawed at me, but I had every advantage. I bit on a paw, a shoulder, a few misses, then I got a hold of Rajor's neck. As I squeezed to make my point, a part of me wanted to end it once and for all. I could have. I even thought I should. I’d be doing the pack a favor.
It wasn’t the first time either. When we w
ere learning to swim, another fight saw him pinned under the water. I had thought about killing him then too. Like now, for a moment, I had wanted to. There was no law then to stop me either. For my sake, and for the sake of my siblings, it seemed best to remove him from the pack for good. Yet, in spite of all that, I couldn’t bring myself to make the kill.
I couldn’t do it now either. Perhaps it was the law, or maybe Wolfor wouldn’t let me, I don’t know. Whatever the reason, my bite was only strong enough to cause pain. Though I made sure to cause as much as I could. Rajor kept fighting until another strong bite tucked his tail and brought on the whines. I bit down once more, to be sure he got the message, then held him still with my growl still shaking us both.
When I finally released him, I stood over him and glared straight into his eyes. “No more. I don’t want to see you harassing anyone, ever again. Fail to listen, and I’ll see you live your days as the omega.” I ruffed in his face before stepping off. Rajor again promised to punish me, but I ignored it as I went to check on Calon. “You all right?”
“Fine,” Calon spat. “Just fine.”
More than his tone, Calon’s glare had my ears straight in surprise. Some gratitude. I’d just helped him with Rajor, yet he seemed to be angrier with me. I could only guess he was mad at me for once again not “letting him fight his own battles.” Considering I’d yet to hear a “thank you,” I was starting to wonder if maybe I should do just that. He didn’t seem to like it when I helped, so what was the point of continuing to try?
Lonate trotted up to me. His ears were up and forward, beaming pride through his usual stern expression. “You continue to amaze me, Luna. A fine eye for hunting, a kind heart, and a firm muzzle with your pack. The next few moons will be very interesting.”
My ears lowered, blushing my embarrassment. Not sure I’m that good.
As Lonate nuzzled me and left, my ears turned up again at Calon’s mutterings.
“‘You amaze me, Luna. You’re so perfect, Luna. You’re gonna be the best alpha ever, Luna.’ What a bunch of—”
I stopped listening to him at that point. I didn’t want my mind cluttered with that kind of language. However, the more he fumed, the more uncomfortable I felt around him. There was something there. Something my instincts were trying to tell me, but I didn’t understand the message. I only knew he worried me in a way I couldn’t understand or describe.
Lonate’s “next few moons” started with more hunts where Toltan told us pups to “watch and learn.” Though we were granted a little more freedom at times. On one hunt, Rajor and I, by some act of Wolfor, were allowed and able to take down a lone foal more or less on our own. Okay, as usual, he tried to take most of the credit, but it was a start. We had worked together to make the kill, giving birth to the hope that maybe someday, he might respect me.
However, a start was all it was. The adults still wouldn’t let us hunt with them as equals. We were getting closer to their size and our puppy fur was gone, it was time we took our place in the pack. But Toltan was adamant, and I knew better than to fight him on it.
Thus, we followed him, flanked by adults, of course, into a part of the forest we’d never been to before. It was the same as the rest, but Toltan had yet to claim it despite how long we’d been there. It made sense to look though, as other wolves were starting to arrive in the forest. Only one or two packs so far, but Martol made it clear that more would follow soon enough. That meant more competition for prey in the forest, so the more territory we could claim now, the better we could provide for our pack. At least, that’s what the adults kept saying.
As far as I was concerned, they could have this part of the forest. The sun moved steadily across the sky, and we found precious little. A couple of rats for the pups, three rabbits we stashed for the time being, otherwise, there was nothing. Just trails that were weeks old and others that quickly went cold. When we found one trail that was fresh, I didn’t care that it was another wolf’s. Or that it was mixed with more of those strange sweet and tangy scents from the day we first heard the odd thunder. I was happy to have something to track for a change. That is until I saw Toltan’s ears were straight up, and his tail was level. Something about the scent had him nervous.
I sighed a growl as I exchanged looks with Rajor. In a rare case of mutual understanding, he ticked his ears forward in agreement. With Toltan nervous, we both knew what was coming next. The hunt was over. Just as well given the lack of prey, but that didn’t keep me from wanting to be treated like a member of the pack. I turned back the way we’d come, about to lead the other pups “to safety” with me.
“Where are you going?” Toltan said without moving.
My ears perked in surprise. I can’t be that lucky. “Don’t you want us to go back where it’s safe?”
“The safety of one wolf is the power of his pack. We have enough here, and there isn’t a territory marker, so the risk is minimal. Stay close, control your initiative, and you’ll be fine. Now follow.”
He started forward carefully, the other adults following almost step for step, with me and my siblings in the middle. Rajor stopped near me long enough to roll his eyes at me.
I turned my ears forward in agreement. “It’s a start.”
Rajor flicked an ear, then half-pranced to catch up with Toltan. I growled annoyance, but let him be. It wasn’t worth the effort.
Toltan led the group forward, following the trail deeper into the silent forest. His ears were perked the entire way, while his tail remained level, ready to react to whatever we found. I tested the air while also searching for any sounds. I found only the same wolf mixed with other scents, and dead quiet beyond. It was as if the entire forest were hiding from us.
We eventually came to an area where a small pond had formed from the rainstorm we had a few days ago. It sat in the middle of the forest, with several small creatures scattering the moment they saw us.
Toltan was more interested in what lay between us and the pond. His eyes were focused on the body of a wolf that had only recently been found by scavengers. The skin was broken in several places, but they had taken little meat thus far. Toltan told the group to hold while he went forward to investigate the corpse.
“That’ll be you someday,” Rajor whispered. “Yes. I can just see it. You’ll show just how bad you are, then I’ll get to be alpha. It wouldn’t take much. All you need is—”
“One breath to pin you if you don’t shut up,” I said. My hackles and tail rose to remind him of my position, which Rajor, thankfully, responded to by lowering his ears and tail. His glare hadn’t cooled, but with the other signs of submission, I let it go. Now was not the time for another scuffle.
Toltan was sniffing at the dead wolf, searching for something. I asked Lonate what he was looking for, but he too was unsure. The only clue we got was when Toltan tried pulling on one of the wolf’s forelegs.
When he did, we saw that something was attached right above the dead wolf’s paw. At my distance, it appeared to be hard as stone, but thin and curved like a bent piece of bark. The bark... stone... whatever it was, formed a half-circle, and I thought I saw a line that went along the middle of it that looked like teeth, with the wolf’s paw trapped in this line. As Toltan pulled, the paw itself flopped around wildly, no doubt broken when it had been caught. The wolf’s blood dripped from his claws as it hung in the air, further suggesting a recent death. The stone itself seemed attached to a series of more, smaller stones, that were looped around and through each other. This line of collected stones ran a short distance to where they appeared to be rooted deep in the ground. Each time Toltan tugged, these stones chinked against each other, yet never seemed to chip.
“What is that?” I asked.
Toltan dropped the leg and came back to the group.” I don’t know. I’ve never seen or heard of anything like it before. Smells strange. It’s acrid, tangy, almost like rock, but not like any I’ve ever seen before. I wonder what happened after he got trapped.”
“
What do you mean?” Lonate asked. “Didn’t that stone thing kill him?”
“No. It wounded him, but he wasn’t here long. A day at most. Much longer, and he would have gnawed his paw off to get loose.”
My stomach churned at the idea. How desperate does one have to be to literally chew their own leg off? And what good would it do? Once you’re missing a paw, you won’t be able to hunt as well, so you’re dead either way. Assuming your self-inflicted wound doesn’t kill you first.
As I tried to get my insides settled, Rolin, one of my brothers, stepped out to sniff at another part of the ground.
“Hey look,” he said. “A dead rat. There are quite a few here. At least we can feed ourselves.”
“Careful, Rolin,” Toltan said. “It might be too long dead.”
“Smells pretty fresh. I think it’s safe.”
Rolin reached down to eat the rat, and the pack jumped as another of the strange stones, this one bigger than the other, snapped up onto his neck. Rolin slumped to the ground without so much as a yip.
The pack stood frozen, many, myself among them, trying to find their breath. The rest were merely silent, save for Toltan, who gave a single, soft whine of pain. When it became even harder for me to breath, I looked down at my leg to refocus my mind on something else. I couldn’t bear to see my brother with his neck caught in one of those things, so I trapped myself in thinking about what it would be like to chew my leg off. In an odd way, I found it an easier thought than the broken neck of my brother. It turned even more sour when I looked at my paw and realized just how close I was to finding out.
Toltan turned my way when my breathing came close to panting. When he spoke, his voice was still heavy. “Luna? Luna, what is it?”
I could only stare at my left forepaw, or rather, the dead rat right beside it. My insides wanted to shake, but the rest of my body didn’t dare let them. Another claw to the right, and I would have stepped right on it. I tried very, very hard not to think about what came next.
Toltan followed my stare, then gasped. “Don’t touch it. Pick your paw straight up, then take a step back, nice and slow.”