Luna the Lone Wolf

by Forest Wells

  “Yes, we do,” Estrella said.

  “And we don’t care about lies,” Carlin added.

  Rajor’s hackles started to rise at last. “The only lies are the ones he’s apparently told you. He killed his own brother as a pup. For his crime, he was made a lone wolf. He is destined to live alone, to never know the company of another wolf. You risk—”

  “Shut up, pup,” Carlin said. “We’re not listening. Now I suggest you heed Luna’s command before you feel our fangs.”

  Rajor now cast a glare close to Toltan’s death stance, if not as intimidating. “Do not underestimate me. My position is mine by virtue of my strength. I go where I wish. I hunt where I wish. No murderer will dictate what I can or cannot do.”

  I allowed an amused ruff with a sideways glance at Estrella. I couldn’t leave that there. I just couldn’t.

  “This... murderer... has chosen what mate you won’t have. Why couldn’t he also say the same about your territory?”

  Lonate tried to remind him he had pups, but Rajor never heard him. He charged at me, ears forward and blood on his fangs. I rushed to meet him, but though my jaws were open, I kept my growl low. Rajor was sprinting, whereas I held myself to a fast run, preserving my maximum speed, waiting for the moment to use it.

  When Rajor went for the side of my neck, I used that extra burst to catch the bottom of his neck before he got close. I had him up and falling on his back before he knew what hit him. Rajor sank ankle deep in the leaves, and I held him there in my jaws. He snarled fury, but no amount of pawing or turning found freedom. I let my fangs cut into Rajor’s neck. Fresh blood touched my lips as I let my jaws close his windpipe.

  I didn’t let myself end it.

  My body shook with fury of my own, my growl shaking both of us. It built into a fire within that grew hotter with each additional note. He was a bully to all of us. He lied to get me banished. He denied me the life I was born to. Now he violates my territory. Lone wolf or not, this is my right. I’m defending my territory from an intruder. I’m killing a rival to my pack.

  Rajor managed to whine through a gasp. Then, his tail tucked and his ears fell back in submission. The two of us froze as if time itself were holding its breath. I breathed my snarl into him, while my fangs sat embedded in his neck.

  So easy...

  So right...

  So unable.

  With a great sigh, I released my hold, allowing Rajor to cough as he regained his breath. My jaws closed, though nothing about my display had lessened. I stood over my brother, fur and tail high, and with a glare that could split the world in two daring him to try something. When Rajor looked at me again, our eyes met, and we both held our breath.

  His eyes, they feared me. More than any wolf had ever feared me before. Rajor’s body shook like a leaf in the wind. He shrank into himself, his posture taking on that of a wolf half his size. It was everything I had ever wanted, and I couldn’t stand it.

  “You will not hunt here,” I said. “Leave. Let your pack retain their alpha. Let mine live free of you.”

  I left him there without so much as a growl. As Rajor finally rose, I turned an ear back just in case he tried to attack again. I only heard the rustle of the leaves, followed by the paws of the pack heading the other way. I thought I heard him exchange words with Lonate, but they were Rajor’s problem. I didn’t care anymore.

  When I returned to my own pack, I found Carlin frozen, stunned by something he’d seen, but his gaze wasn’t for me. He was looking past me, past Rajor even, to something farther on. I slowed for a moment, wondering what held his attention while trying to decide how to ask.

  Estrella stepped forward before I could. “That would be why he hates you.”

  I turned my ears back, trying not to laugh. “You’re not going to let me forget this, are you?”

  “Nope, because Rajor won’t. You just beat him in front of his pups. That means something.”

  “Might not be over yet either,” Carlin said. He sounded more distant than normal, probably the remains of his trance.

  I looked back, expecting to see Rajor at the head of the pack.

  Instead, I found Toltan and Martol approaching, alone. Neither held themselves very high, and both showed tattered fur not quite cared for. Were it not for the thick state of their ribs, one might think them soul dead.

  Martol’s eyes found me first. They hadn’t changed since the day I took Folar to the pack. They watched me, as did Toltan’s, for something they expected me to say or do.

  I couldn’t do or say much of anything. Toltan, I wanted to drive away, bite a notch in his ear if I had to. Martol, I wanted... I didn’t know what I wanted. I was trapped in that night I saw her die within. The memory took hold as I remembered wishing so hard to get another chance, only to have it turn to hate the next day. The emotions couldn’t sort themselves out. By the time they got close, the best I could manage was a harsh glare.

  “Can I help you with something?” I said.

  Toltan’s ears never came all the way up. Martol’s didn’t move at all. Toltan spoke for them both.

  “We were with the pups when you came out. We saw everything.”

  I ruffed pained amusement. “Really? How ironic. Not like you haven’t missed things before. No, that’s wrong. You have. Now all of a sudden, you see everything? Oh, I’m touched. From the deepest parts of my heart.”

  “Luna. Don’t be like that.”

  “Why not? You weren’t there to teach me better. You gave me other lessons, and I intend to use them.”

  I turned to leave, ready to be done with them. I might regret it the next day, but right here, right now, I wanted nothing more to do with the conflict their presence was causing within me.

  “Luna!” Toltan again. “We deserve more than that.”

  I stopped cold. Pain lasted but a moment before it was replaced by rage. I felt everything within me tense for a kill as my fur bristled another wolf’s worth. Deserve? He dares use that word?

  I whipped around and cast a glare that would put Toltan’s death stance to shame. “You deserve more? What about me? Did I deserve to get driven out by my own father? Did I deserve to live out here alone, shunned by any pack I met? Did I deserve to lose everything I had because you failed to listen to me?”

  Toltan gained some years in his eyes, and his fur started to rise as well. “Do you think it was easy?”

  “Seemed easy enough to me.”

  “Do you know the pain I suffered that day?! I lost one pup and was forced to drive out another.”

  “You didn’t have to drive me out. You took the word of a known bully.”

  “He swore in Wolfor’s name.”

  “You never listened to a word I said.”

  “You never said a word!”

  I almost killed him. I wouldn’t have stopped this time. My insides were so tight, I could barely growl, much less speak.

  “What do you mean I never said a word? You didn’t bother to listen.”

  Toltan’s fur fell hair by hair. His growl faded even faster. He breathed so hard, I thought he might hack his lungs out. While I waited for a reply, I heard Carlin lead Martol and Estrella away. There were words there, but my ears never heard them.

  Toltan had lost all aggression by the time we were alone. “Yes, I did. I listened with all I had. I searched for anything, the smallest whimper I could use. Why do you think I told you to talk to me? Luna, I had no choice. The only words you said were ones of rage. It was that against a solemn swear by Rajor. Before the pack, I... I couldn’t protect you. Not without endangering myself, my mate, and my remaining pups.”

  Now he’s just making excuses. “Endangering them how? You and Martol were strong enough. As for the pups, Wolfor’s law—”

  “Is a lie!”

  Time froze. No, that’s too much movement. Everything stopped. Even my rage ended for half a heartbeat that lasted a thousand years. I stared at my father, hurt beyond feeling, confused beyond thought, unable to be or fe
el anything.

  “It’s a lie, Luna,” Toltan said. “The pack knew that. Even Rajor knows that now.”

  When time resumed, so did my rage. It took much of my returning breath with its fire. “You banished me over a lie?!”

  Toltan tried to be angry. He even started to slip into his death stance. He never got there.

  “I banished you because a pup that kills fellow pups is a danger to the pack. That’s what the law is for. To keep pups from killing each other. To keep you and Rajor from killing each other. But if an alpha loses his position, his pups become a threat to the new alpha. That alpha then has the right to decide the fate of those pups. It happened in my last pack, Luna. The new alpha refused to risk it. He killed the previous litter to make way for his own within the pack. I couldn’t let the same happen to mine. If I hadn’t acted, I could have lost the pack then and there. I had to make a choice.”

  Oh, that makes it so much better.

  “You chose them over me. What gives you the right to sacrifice me in the name of others?”

  “My blood. Your blood. The blood of all wolves. The blood of an alpha. I couldn’t save you. I could save them.”

  “You declared me a pup killer.”

  “I never believed you were!”

  I stood frozen, not a hair moving, not a sound made. For a moment, I was pretty sure my heart stopped. Toltan, meanwhile, continued to grow more shaky the more he spoke.

  “Not once did I think you were guilty. But, Luna, the pack would have never accepted the instinct of a parent over what they’d seen. They saw you try to attack Rajor. They heard him swear you killed Calon. Our traditions forced me to shun one of my own pups... and I have never slept well since.”

  A tree grew in my throat. Its roots silenced any hint of a growl left waiting for the chance to come out. I could see the tears rolling from Toltan’s eyes. With each word, he aged decades, while the void behind his eyes grew until it swallowed him whole.

  I never knew. I never understood. Martol always said, as alpha, Toltan had to make hard choices. Now for the first time, I could see just how hard some of them were. To think... I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to remember all the things I’d wished on my own father. It would only lead to a place of deep regret I didn’t want to go to.

  I had to fight that tree down before I could breathe again. It took even more to find words. “How did Rajor become alpha?”

  Toltan’s ears found a new low point. “I couldn’t fight him anymore. I tried for a while, even managed to raise a second litter, but I didn’t have the will. Not after seeing you bring a packless pup to... he’s grown strong, you know. Folar, I mean. Even caught Jinta’s eye. Too bad Rajor probably won’t let them have pups.”

  The last of my rage ceased to be. Nothing had changed. Despite the bitterness, the anger, the betrayal, everything was as it had been the day we first touched noses in the darkness of the den. Seeing Toltan’s pain, I couldn’t deny it anymore. He was still my father. His blood was still mine.

  “She’ll find a way,” I said. “She never did let obstacles stop her.” When Toltan didn’t so much as raise his head, I rubbed mine against his. I forced his head to rise before I spoke again. “Follow.”

  I turned and went after Estrella and the others. I found them just out of listening distance, all lounging in the dirt. All except for Carlin, who had been working with Martol’s fur, despite a very disgruntled look from her. A pair of snaps didn’t stop him from making her fur look a little less messy. I’ll have to thank him for that sometime.

  They all rose when they saw me approach. Three sets of ears turned to face me. When I looked back, I found Toltan’s ears were the exception, frozen in a lowered position.

  I allowed my ears to ease forward. So easy now.

  “My den’s not far from here. It’s not much but... you’re both welcome to join me.”

  Martol left her pain behind. The wolf that began rubbing and licking me to death was whimpering like a pup herself. The moment her fur touched me, my heart shattered in joy. After so long of dreaming, of wishing I could feel her love again, I now had it several times over. I was her pup again, embraced by her protective aura. Her scent bled into my soul, reminding me of all the love I’d longed for. I couldn’t feel a thing because all I could feel was her.

  While I liked the emotion, I couldn’t stand the act. Mostly because I was too old for it. Further still, because somewhere deep, there was guilt over how I’d treated her before. It started turning her rubs painful, for with each one, I imagined how much she had longed for it. It took me back to that night when my first howl was one of pain. The ache, combined with feeling too old for this, became too much to bear, despite the warmth filling my skin.

  I pushed her off with a gentle growl. “Enough. I’m not a pup anymore. I’d prefer to be treated like the adult I am now. Please?”

  Martol panted a laugh with a forward tick of her ears. “Fair enough. Thank you, Luna. You don’t know what this means to me.”

  “Actually, I think I do. Come on.” I rubbed against Estrella, then stopped at Carlin. “What about you, old one? Think you could handle running with wolves half your age?”

  Carlin feigned insult. “Half? Why, I’m old enough to be your parents’ great-great-grandfather. The wisdom of those years—”

  “Is as rickety as your tired old bones.”

  The others stifled laughs while Carlin looked positively furious. Anyone could tell it was fake, though, given that his hackles hadn’t even ruffled.

  “Well,” he said, “I guess I’ll have to run with you. Show you just how not tired my old bones are. Think you can handle that, pup?”

  I flicked an ear, looked at him as if thinking, then perked my ears in challenge.

  “I have a better question. Think you can beat me to my den?”

  I took off before he could answer. Carlin yelled something about not being fair, but I didn’t care. I enjoyed the chase too much. More importantly, I enjoyed the idea of having a pack of my own again, complete with my parents.

  I enjoyed it so much, I failed to notice the snow falling moons ahead of the norm.

  Chapter 8

  MY FANGS WERE WET WITH drool, drops adding to the icy powder my paws had vanished in. A thin veil of falling snow covered the surrounding forest, making the trees seem not just bare of leaves, but void of life. Seemed like the forest as a whole was like that, for we’d found precious little in our hunts.

  While the forest might have given up, my pack hadn’t. My ears perked forward to confirm that our many days of hunting, tracking, and praying had indeed borne fruit. We’d found her at last. A doe. The doe. Big as a buck with an attitude to match. She was stripping bark off a tree without a care in the world, almost taunting us with her indifference. And why not? She’d fended us off twice already. Mostly because of terrain, but escape was still escape, regardless of the reason.

  Not today. We had her this time.

  I looked toward Martol and Toltan to give commands. Before I could say a word, or even move a muscle, they both turned their ears forward. They glided through the snow around the back side, just as I had been about to tell them. I ticked my ears forward in approval while waiting in cover. I gave them as much time as I felt I could to get into position. The doe stripped off more bark in silence, unaware of the wolves inching closer before the sprint.

  That is, until the doe turned her ears toward me. I must have hit something, I thought. At the same time, from the back side of the tree, came a thin foal. It huddled under its mother, who continued to stare at me.

  “She knows we’re here,” Carlin said.

  I swallowed a growl with a forward tick of my ears. “She does. Doesn’t change much. She’s the first prey we’ve seen in days. We can’t let her get away.”

  “You have a plan, Luna?” Estrella asked.

  “Not yet.”

  I couldn’t tell if the doe actually saw me, but she did seem to be looking right at me. Maybe she does
n’t know about the others. The question became moot as I decided that, with my cover blown, I would risk blowing Martol and Toltan’s as well.

  I told Estrella and Carlin to stay silent, then lifted my head in a long howl. When the doe’s eyes didn’t move, that confirmed everything. She can see me. Changes nothing. The plan moves forward.

  Two similar howls sounded from the other side, both from separate angles. Martol and Toltan were responding, announcing their positions. The doe allowed only a glance their way before returning to me. I turned an ear in much the same way, giving me what I needed. I knew exactly where the others were. Now I just had to hope they could make this happen.

  “Stay here,” I said. “When you see me attack, go for the foal. Try to separate it from the mother.”

  “What about her?” Estrella said.

  “My parents and I will deal with her. Don’t howl when I call.”

  I made a big show of trotting out from my position. The doe’s eyes followed me with every step. I moved on a wide angle, keeping my distance while getting into position. When she was staring right at me without a turn of her head, I stopped. I lifted my head in a short, deep howl. Two more sounded from the side, one nearby, the other more on the other side of the doe.

  When the doe glanced again, I charged.

  I let her see the full force of my fangs. I let her hear my snarl. I didn’t let my eyes drift to Estrella and Carlin sprinting from the side.

  The doe reared up and slammed her hooves into the ground, sending enough snow flying to distort my view, which brought a halt to my charge. I dug into whatever ground I could find to turn the other way as the doe advanced and reared up again. I felt her hooves brush my tail as they shook the ground I ran on. That was close!

  Cries from behind drew both her and my attention. Estrella and Carlin were driving the foal clean away, with Toltan coming from the woodwork to assist. The doe forgot me and charged after them, ducking her head as if she had antlers. She leapt into the air with such grace, I swore she could fly.