Graham looked over at him. “There’s a smile,” he remarked. “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten how!”
Caleb rolled his eyes and grunted, but Graham didn’t hear it over the noise. “I can’t believe you’ve gone completely arse over tit for this girl!” he accused.
“Don’t be vulgar,” Caleb absentmindedly rebuked. Graham noticed he didn’t deny it either, though.
It was Graham’s turn to grunt now. “What the hell is going on with you two anyway? She runs away right after I get here and now all you’ve been doing is texting her, leaving her messages, and sulking. It’s rubbish.” He shook his head.
Caleb knew his cousin was right, and yet he didn’t know how to explain what was going on when he didn’t even understand it himself. He wasn’t sure how much he wanted to tell Graham anyway, even if they had been best friends since they were little. While trying to decide how to word it carefully, he suddenly gave up and blurted, “I love her, Graham.”
Graham’s eyes widened in shock. He was clearly not expecting to hear that. For a moment, he didn’t speak at all, so Caleb continued. “I don’t know what it is about her, but every time I am with her I feel like I can do anything. I’m enjoying life again. I forget all the pain and drama from back home and I just feel free. It’s unbelievable. I think it’s the first time I have ever felt that way in my life.”
Graham tried to think before he spoke. “But just to play devil’s advocate here, what if the freedom you feel is just from being away from all the responsibilities your life back home had on you?”
Caleb couldn’t help but get annoyed with Graham’s question, even if it was valid.
“It’s not just being here. If it was, then I would have started feeling better three years ago when I first arrived. It wasn’t until I met Alex that I felt alive again,” Caleb tried to make Graham understand.
“So what does that mean then, about your future? Will you never come home? You can’t leave the title of Earl behind, that’s not how it works. Will you return and make her your countess? Can you imagine what your mum would say?” Graham shook his head at the thought.
Caleb frowned at his cousin. “I don’t think you get it, mate. I love her. That means it doesn’t matter if we live here or if we live in London. It means that wherever we are, I am forever living for her now. Making her happy is all that matters to me now.”
Graham wanted to argue that Caleb had obligations at home and this “sabbatical” he was taking was never supposed to be permanent. However, Caleb seemed pretty serious about this woman. When he talked about her, he showed the most passion Graham had ever seen come from his favorite cousin. He decided to leave it alone… for now.
He suddenly got a mischievous look in his eyes. “Fine, I just want to enjoy my time here, then.” He smiled. “So tell me, which flavor of American shall I taste first? Hmm? Redhead? Blonde? Do they have as much fun here as they do back home?”
Caleb shook his head at him. He sure had missed him.
That Friday, Alex and Rachael got ready together for their evening with the men. Alex was a nervous wreck and Rachael was doing everything she could to lighten the mood by making funny faces at her in the mirror while she put on her mascara.
Alex laughed and marveled at how good her friend looked tonight. She had on a short, cream-colored, sleeveless silk jumper with a delicate braid at the collar. The top showed a decent amount of side boob, too. Alex was once again awed at her never having to wear a bra. Lucky. Rachael’s silky, dark brown hair cascaded down her back in big, fat curls. If Alex was the jealous type, Rachael would certainly be one to be jealous of.
Alex wore a sleeveless silk dress, but it was wine colored. Petite ruffles lined the sides of the sleeves and there was definitely no side boob. But the color went perfect with her hair and the big jewelry she wore with it gave it a romantic, sexy look.
Together, they looked more like sisters than just best friends. When they walked into Shenanigan’s, which was busier than usual, all heads turned to them. Alex blushed but Rachael just smiled easily, used to the attention.
They saw the two men standing by the bar talking and they looked to be the only two in the place not to notice their arrival. Rachael had seen Caleb from afar around campus, so it was obvious which one he was. That meant the other one was Graham. For a moment, Rachael’s mouth went dry and she couldn’t help get a shy smile on her face. Graham was definitely not fugly. In fact, it was possible that he was the most delicious man she had ever seen! Tall and broad shouldered, he had dark blond hair that he kept short and manicured, like his scruffy face. Under the fur, she could see a strong chin, and his eyes… oh my God, his eyes. They were the bluest she had ever seen and they sparkled even in the dim pub lights. Rachael realized for the first time in her life that she wanted to swoon.
She stopped and grabbed Alex’s arm.
“Why didn’t you tell me he was so good looking?” she frantically whispered.
“Is he?” Alex looked at him. She really hadn’t noticed. The only thing the two men had in common was their blue eyes, and Caleb’s looked stormy today. Since they changed depending on his mood, she wondered what that meant. Both were tall, but Graham was broader and scruffier, while Caleb, still muscular, was sleeker and sharper. No, she decided, Graham couldn’t hold a candle to Caleb. Seeing him again made her weak in the knees. She really had missed him.
“I guess I didn’t notice,” she absentmindedly answered her friend and walked toward the men as if pulled by Caleb’s presence.
When the two women walked up, the men stopped talking and looked over at them. One look in Graham’s eyes and Rachael could see his arrogance matched his looks. She inwardly sighed. That’s too bad. Graham looked at her in appreciation, but she just lifted an eyebrow up at him and smirked. This wasn’t her first rodeo.
Graham’s eyes widened a little in surprise. What is it about these women?
Caleb only had eyes for Alex. He turned, took her hands in his, and scooped down to kiss her lightly on the lips.
“I’ve missed you,” he said softly.
She couldn’t help but smile, then closed her eyes and sighed. “I’ve really missed you too.”
That gave Caleb hope. The couple stood there for a moment just looking into each other’s eyes. It just felt good to be near each other again.
“Ehem,” Graham cleared his throat. Caleb finally looked up and noticed Rachael.
“I’m so sorry,” his rich voice rushed.
Whatever doubts Rachael had about Caleb before were gone after seeing the look he had just been giving her best friend. She smiled at him, immediately at ease.
“It’s not a problem,” she promised and stuck out her hand to properly introduce herself.
Instead of shaking it, he took it into his hands and bowed to give it a kiss.
Rachael wanted to roll her eyes but remembered Alex had said Caleb had some old fashion habits. Plus, she had to admit it made her feel like a real woman to have a man do that. So much so, she found herself blushing instead.
“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Caleb smiled.
Rachael genuinely smiled back. She was liking him more and more by the minute.
“This is Graham, my cousin.” Caleb turned to introduce him.
Graham, feeling like a he had no choice now, also took her hand to kiss it.
When Graham’s hand touched hers, it felt like a jolt of electricity ran through her. She pulled her hand away in shock and saw by the look on Graham’s face that he’d felt it too. What the hell?
Graham cleared his throat.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said quietly, just as confused by the interaction as she was.
Caleb looked at his cousin curiously, wondering what the problem was. Graham just shrugged his shoulders.
“Why don’t we get a table and sit,” Caleb offered and herded the group over to a table in the back.
Once they were all sitting, Caleb and Alex taking the back corner, he looked ov
er at her to try to read her eyes and found himself at a loss for words.
Alex read the look of pain in his face and decided he deserved an explanation.
“I’m sorry…” she started, looking for the right words. “I don’t know what to say about how I’ve been acting this week. I know it’s crazy.” She looked down, ashamed.
Caleb took her chin in his hand and lifted her head up to meet his eyes.
“Stop apologizing for feeling, Alexandria. You’re allowed to feel things,” he said matter-of-factly.
Alex smiled a little and then stopped. Guilt, a familiar friend, still pulled at her heart.
“I just needed some time to think. That’s why I didn’t answer your calls. I knew if I heard your voice, I wouldn’t be able to hold it together,” she confessed. “I think seeing Graham just reminded me that you have a life other than the one you have here with me.” Taking a deep breath, she finished. “One you will eventually want to go back to…” She tried to smile, to pretend the words didn’t hold as much weight as they did, but she couldn’t do it. Feeling vulnerable, she lied, “Which is totally okay! It’s just-”
Caleb cut her off. “I’m never going to leave you, Alex.”
He said it so simply. So quickly. The words just shot out of his mouth so easily. They took her off guard.
“Well, yeah, I know you don’t plan to but-”
“But nothing!” he cut her off again, starting to get a little angry.
Alex looked away. She tried to explain to him what she had spent all week trying to figure out how to say. “Look, you say that now, but I’m just trying to be realistic. I mean, you’re an Earl!” she reminded him. “It’s okay, really! I’ve been thinking about it and I realized I am okay with your leaving eventually. I just want to take advantage of the time we have together.” She smiled weakly at him, hoping he would believe her, even if she didn’t believe it all the way herself. But instead of smiling, his eyes got almost black and his face turned a shade of purple.
“What?” she asked innocently, starting to feel nervous.
Instead of answering, he grabbed her hand and practically dragged her out of the pub. Alex had to run to keep up. Once outside, Caleb turned to her and fumed.
“What the hell do you mean, ‘I’m going to leave you eventually’?” he demanded.
Alex backed up.
“I’m not trying to insult you, Caleb,” she said softly. “But-”
“But what?” he interrupted.
“I was just trying to make things easier for you,” she said, frustrated.
Caleb could see his doe was about to run, but he was too upset to stop and think about his words.
“So first you insult me and tell me I am just going to leave you, like all this,” he held out his hands, “means nothing!” His eyes grew cold. “Then you tell me that you’re okay with it because, apparently, none of it means anything to you.”
“Wait, what?” Alex’s eyes grew wide and emotion and fear gripped her. Nothing in the world, she realized, scared her more than Caleb not understanding what he meant to her. If he thought he didn’t mean anything to her, that would be worse than him actually leaving. She tried to backtrack, to think. Panic clouded her thoughts.
She took his hands in hers and searched his eyes, pleading. “Please, don’t ever think that I don’t care.” The words caught in her throat and she bit her lip as tears fell unchecked from her eyes. “I do care!” she tried to convince him. “I am just trying to find a way to not die when it’s time for you to go.”
“Why do you assume I am the kind of person who would leave you after everything we’ve had together? It’s so shallow. I thought you knew me better than that,” he finished sadly.
Now Alex felt like the biggest piece of crap on earth. She tried to explain it better. “I don’t assume anything like that of you, Caleb. It’s not about you. I guess I just assume everyone is going to leave me eventually.” It sounded so lame, even to her. But Caleb understood finally. This wasn’t about him, like she said, it was about her and her insecurities.
He took her head into his hands so he could look straight into her eyes. As he held her there, she was so caught in his gaze she felt like the rest of the world slipped away.
“I’m not just saying I won’t leave because of how I feel right now,” he tried to make her realize. “I’m all in. It’s all you now, Alex, forever. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to, and even then it may be harder than you think to get rid of me. I couldn’t leave you now if I tried. Just being away from you this week was too much for me.”
Alex blushed. “Me too,” she admitted.
“Good, because I don’t want to do it ever again. Whatever happens, we do it together, promise?”
Alex nodded, feeling overwhelmed by his words. Would she ever understand what he saw in her?
She winced a little.
“But why me?” she couldn’t help ask.
“Dammit Alexandria, because I love you! Don’t you see that?” he practically shouted, incredulous.
His confession caught her completely off guard. Eyes wide, she stood there dumbfounded. Heat filled her cheeks as she tried a few times to speak, but all she could do was open and then shut her mouth over and over again like a goldfish.
She couldn’t believe it. She knew she was possibly falling for Caleb, but it never occurred to her that he could fall for her. His words took all doubts away and made things feel so simple and uncomplicated. She wanted so much to be able to say it back. She hated herself for it, but she just couldn’t get the words out. She was still so scared to love him.
Caleb calmed and smiled understandingly.
“Don’t you see that you running into me that day was the best thing that ever happened to me! You changed me. You make me better! I love everything about you, Alex. I love how many layers you have. I love how much you care about everyone around you and how selfless you are. I love how you smell like lilacs, even when you’re standing in the rain. I love how you find humor in everything. I love your random questions and stubborn antics. I love the curves of your body and the way you suck in your breath every time I touch them. I love the way you look when you first wake up, and when you’re sopping wet. No matter what responsibilities I have back home, all I can see is you here in front of me. Nothing else matters unless I have you by my side.”
Alex was speechless as tears formed in her eyes. Overwhelmed, she tried to brush them away.
Caleb gathered her into his arms. “It’s alright. You don’t have to say it back. In fact, I don’t want you to. I hate when people say it back just because the other person says it first. Wait for your moment.”
Alex nodded, still in shock. She wasn’t even ready to admit to herself yet that she might love him and here he was declaring his love for her. God, she felt like an ass.
Not able to respond to him with words, she leaned in to give him a long, firm kiss. She tried as hard as she could to make the kiss say the things that she could not.
“Puh-lease!” came a loud voice from inside the pub. Alex took Caleb’s hands.
“We better get back in there. That sounded like Rachael.” She lead him back in.
“It most certainty is real football!” Rachael was saying, irritated.
“It is not! Football is the real football. Just ask, oh I don’t know, the rest of the world! You’re the only ones who made up a new game and couldn’t be creative enough to come up with an original name. Then, you decide you still like our version, but you’re going to call it soccer instead. Soccer! What the bloody hell kind of name is that anyway?” Graham answered, equally irritated.
“It’s the name you use for a stupid sport with those high socks you wear,” she answered back snidely.
“It’s better than all those damn pads you American’s need to wear. We play like men! We don’t need protection.”
Rachael’s father and brothers were big football fans. She felt like she had to fight this one for them.
&nb
sp; “At least they score! All you do is run back and forth kicking a ball. So boring!” she rolled her eyes.
“We score too! Besides, I’d rather run back and forth than stick my hands under my mates bum all the time! I mean, whose idea was that?” Graham laughed.
Rachael made a face at him.
Alex and Caleb got to the table just in time for Alex to cut in before things got any uglier.
“How about we go to the bathroom!” she offered Rachael.
The men made a comment about women needing each other to pee and, as the girls walked away, Rachael turned back to give Graham another look.
“Do not look at my butt as I walk away!” she warned.
Graham looked offended.
“Now why the hell would I want to do that?” he said innocently.
“Hmph,” she grunted and rolled her eyes. As she turned, Graham went back to carefully studying her butt.
Caleb laughed and shook his head.
“Like what you see?” he asked, knowing the answer.
“I guess,” Graham answered as he stared.
“Bollocks!” Caleb laughed. “You haven’t taken your eyes off her since she walked in!”
“Yeah, but she’s a bit of a cow, isn’t she.” He finally looked back at Caleb now that the object of his stare was in the bathroom.
“No, not that I see. Reminds me a bit of you, actually,” Caleb chuckled.
Graham groaned.
“Everything better with you and Alex?” he asked, changing the subject.
“I think so, yeah. She’s just… easily spooked,” he replied, deep in thought. A slow smile formed. “She loves me. She just isn’t ready to admit it yet.”
“Ugh, women. They’re so dramatic. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around anyway? The man is supposed to be the one afraid of commitment,” Graham retorted.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about this time, mate. She is different, and she has good reason to pause,” he countered, a little sterner than he’d intended.
Graham knew when to back off and did so, opting to complain about how annoying Rachael was instead.
When the girls returned from the bathroom, Graham was at the bar getting more drinks. Rachael, begrudgingly, decided to help. Having Alex to himself, Caleb pulled out a medium sized, beautifully wrapped box and gave it to her.
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