“No more talking.”
She nodded.
He climbed over her, blanketing her body with his, warming her from the outside in the same way his words and promises were warming her from the inside out. She shuddered against him.
“So sensitive already, aren’t you minx?”
She nodded. He’d said no talking. Obviously, that meant her, not him.
He trailed kisses down the front of her body. First, her neck and upper chest, then her breasts. Then he sucked a nipple into his mouth, making her gasp. But that was the only sound she made. He took his time, kissing so much of her skin, she was shivering as the wetness cooled her. He licked along one hip, spreading her thighs wide. She gripped the mattress, holding herself steady, needing something solid to hold onto. He was just beginning. She knew it. She shouldn’t have pushed so hard. Her body was already begging for release. A release that he refused to give her.
He spread her wide and dipped his head to the juncture of her thighs. She shivered as his tongue found her clit and clutched the sheet harder. She bit her lip, shaking with the effort of keeping her orgasm at bay all the while remaining silent.
She bucked against him, but his arm pressed down on her stomach, holding her in place. He licked and sucked at her clit until it was all she could feel. Until the rest of the world, including her body, her mind, fell away, and her entire focus zeroed in on her clit. Until all she could feel was his mouth on her. She pushed against him, needing more. Demanding more.
He caressed up and down along her slick folds as he tongued her mercilessly. He slipped a finger into her wet sheath as he nibbled at her clit and she opened her mouth in a silent scream. He fingered her gently, then rubbed against her vulva, building the pressure all around her nerve endings until they were on fire. Until she was burning up from the inside.
“Please,” she begged, her voice no more than a hoarse whisper as she tried to contain her screams.
He lifted his face and his fingers landed in a hard thwack on her clit. “I said no more talking.”
She gasped as the pleasure and pain rolled through her in waves. She writhed against the pillow beneath her.
“Now, where was I?” He dipped his head again, the soft, gentle slide of his tongue against her burning clit a stark contrast to the spank he’d just delivered. He knew she liked things a little rough. He was going to indulge that need, as well as control her orgasm. Just like he normally did. She just hoped that he would give her more. Even though they were blurring the lines between sex and kink.
She let a small whimper escape as he tongued her faster, and when his teeth scraped at her clit, she damned near shattered. But he had told her no. So, she forced the orgasm back. She would wait. She had to wait. And he would make it worth her while. She knew that. But still, frustration burned inside her because she couldn’t have her release.
He played with her for endless moments, and just when she was sure she would come, even without his permission, he lifted himself up, leaving her bared to his gaze, but not touching her where she needed him to. Her hips undulated, seeking sensation. Yearning for more. And still, he just sat between her legs, watching her body writhe for him.
“Turn over,” he ordered.
Shaking, she obeyed, until she was flat on her stomach, her aching legs straight, her breasts and abdomen pressing into the mattress. She laid her head on her right ear on the pillow and felt him move off the bed. She couldn’t see him from this angle, but she heard the distinct sound of his zipper coming undone. She fought the urge to turn, to scream yes.
Her body was still quivering. And she wanted to grind her pelvis against the bed, slip a hand between her thighs and press hard into her clit until she came. But she wasn’t allowed. He climbed onto the bed, then, and the slide of his naked body against hers made all thoughts flee.
He blanketed her in his warmth, and the feel of his body pinning hers to the bed made her head spin. His cock nestled into the crease of her ass and pressed her clit down against the sheet. She shuddered. He rocked against her, thrusting his cock along her ass, pushing her pelvis down with every thrust.
She clutched at the pillow beneath her as the need to come overwhelmed her again. Please she silently begged. The tease of his hot length against her was almost too much to bear. She wanted him deep inside her. Wanted his fingers on her clit as he drove into her. Wanted to feel him find his own release lost in her body. Finally give him a taste of what he’d been giving her all these weeks. But he was going to make her wait. She’d told him she could take anything he could dish out. She’d been sure she could take it all. But not this. She could handle everything except this. Except the endless waiting. The anticipation of more was almost too much to bear.
Leo groaned in her ear as his cock slid against her hot little ass. He wanted to part her thighs and slam his cock home in her dripping wet sheath. But he wasn’t ready yet. He was too caught up in making her whimper. In making her beg him for release. The way he had been for weeks. The way he’d promised himself he wouldn’t be tonight. Tonight was supposed to be different. It was supposed to be sex, not control. But he couldn’t help himself.
He lifted himself off her just a bit. Just enough so he could look down at the curve of her shoulder and watch her body shudder beneath him. He loved watching her fight for control over her own body. Loved the way she quaked with the need for release when he’d told her she couldn’t have it.
The way she surrendered to him.
He wanted to spank her. Wanted to flog her. Wanted to heighten her pleasure with her pain. But he still didn’t trust himself. Even though her little plan was working. Even though his focus on fucking her was overriding the rage permeating every cell of his body. Replacing the heat of anger with the heat of desire.
He pushed himself up and to the side, sliding off her body and to the bed beside her. If he thrust against her much more, he was going to lose the last bit of his control and come too soon. Before he’d buried himself deep inside her. He didn’t want that to happen.
He nipped at her shoulder and caressed a hand over her back, to the curve of her ass, and then between her thighs. He lay beside her, his body close enough to feel the heat radiating from her, but not close enough for her to brush against his cock.
He dipped his hand between her legs, teasing her entrance. He worked his fingers up inside her, pressing on that rough ridge, the underside of her clit, ever so gently with two fingers.
She bucked against him and buried her face in the pillow. He worked his fingers in and out of her, rubbing against her inner walls over and over again until she was pushing back against his hand in rhythmic thrusts. He was going to drive her crazy with lust. He wanted her so far lost to her need for release that she couldn’t think straight. Until she was as desperate for him as he was for her.
Sure, it was evil. Selfish. Possessive. But he stopped caring. He’d tried to warn her. Tried to tell her not to push him too far. Tried to keep her from the darkest parts of himself. He’d failed.
His cock throbbed with his own needs. His erection was becoming painful. But still he teased her. Her muffled whimpers were like ambrosia for the ears. He reveled in the sounds, in the feel of her inner muscles clamping down on his fingers, in the sight of her bucking hips, making the muscles of her ass clench and release, clench and release.
She lifted her head, gasping for air. She faced him, only a few inches away. “Please.”
Her plea was hoarse, her voice strained.
“Please what?”
“No more.”
He slowly slid his fingers from her and tried to squash the disappointment blooming in his chest. No more. He nodded. “Okay.” He smiled and pushed himself up. “No more.”
She groaned. “Damn it. Don’t stop!”
He glanced down at her glare.
“Just fuck me already. Please. I can’t take any more edging. I have to come. Please,” she begged.
“Oh.”
She reached fo
r him then, wrapping her fingers around his hard cock and making him gasp. She stroked him once, twice. He stilled her hand. “Stop.” He wanted to be inside her when he came.
She bit her lip but released him.
“Get on your knees, minx.”
She sighed and repositioned herself while he got up and pulled out a condom. He rolled it on and then settled himself on his knees behind her.
“You sure you’re ready?”
“Damn it, Leo!”
His hand landed on her ass before he could stop himself. She yelped, but then smiled at him over her shoulder. “Please, Mister.”
“That’s better.”
He guided the head of his cock to her entrance, and pushed inside her slowly. Much more slowly than he wanted to. She groaned and buried her face in the pillow again to muffle her sounds.
Like a good girl.
He took his time, working inside her one slow inch at a time. The feel of her wet heat around him made his head spin. He wanted to drive into her hard and fast, but he couldn’t resist the urge to tease her just a little more. She tried to push back against him, but he held her hips steady.
“Not so fast, minx. I’m not done with you yet.”
Her sheath clenched around him at the words.
He held her hips and gradually slid back out and then drove himself inside again, slow, but deep. She lifted her face to gasp for air.
“More, please, Mister. More,” she pleaded.
“Yes, minx. You may come when you need to.”
He slowly increased the pace, until his toes curled, and then she shuddered beneath him, and he lost all control. His grip tightened on her hips and he thrust into her hard and deep, over and over again. Her muffled cries spurred him on harder, faster, his mind lost to the erotic haze.
Her body shuddered beneath him, and still, he fucked her. Harder. Faster. Deeper. She lifted her head, gasping. “I can’t... I can’t come.” Her words were desperate.
He’d made her wait too long. He’d have to take this up another notch, or she wouldn’t find release. Damn it.
He released one hip, and reached around her body, seeking her clit. He drove into her deeply and forced himself to stay still. He spanked her clit over and over again, staying buried inside her, his cock pressing into her clit from the underside while his fingers banged on it from the top, over and over again until she shattered. Her face shoved hard into the pillow to keep herself quiet as she bucked and writhed against him, driving him even deeper. Her inner walls gripped him in a vice, pumping him hard and fast and he returned his hand to her hip to guide her body forward and back, forward and back as he resumed thrusting into her shuddering body.
He fucked her in rapid hard thrusts until her shrieks increased, barely contained in the pillow, and finally emptied himself deep inside her.
Chapter Seventeen
Evangeline lay on her side, trying to remember how to breathe, her cheek resting on the wet pillowcase. She’d soaked the soft fabric with her repeated bites.
Leo lay a few inches from her, watching her carefully. He was in Benson’s spot. On her Sir’s side of the bed. She’d just screwed her Sir’s brother. Fuck.
He sighed. “Are you okay?” his voice was soft, and he looked like he wanted to reach out and caress her face, but instead, his hand stayed on the mattress between them, clenched into a tight fist.
“Yes. I might not be able to walk tomorrow, but yes.” She smiled as she said it. That had been a serious bout of fucking. Harsh, rough, all-consuming. And she had needed it. But she couldn’t help the part of her that was telling her she was betraying Benson. He sent Leo to you, damn it. With an instruction manual! Benson had all but gift-wrapped her for his brother. So, was it really a betrayal if she had done exactly what he’d wanted her to?
“You’re thinking too hard,” Leo complained.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just...”
“I know. I feel it too.”
What the hell did he mean by that? The utterly earth-shattering sex? Because, yeah, she’d felt that. She’d felt that deep in her bones. Did he mean something else? Something stronger than sex? Or the guilt.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She had pushed for this, she’d literally begged for it, and now that she’d had it, she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. They couldn’t go back. Not after this. His Topping her had always been intense. Always. But... it was nothing compared to this. This deep connection she felt with him now. This undeniable need not only to be dominated, not to be simply punished, or controlled, but to be... possessed. And she wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not yet.
“I know that he wanted you here. I know that he wanted us to have some kind of iteration of a relationship, but I can’t help feel a little guilty.”
Leo nodded. “I’ll never try to replace Benson.”
Since she’d actually screamed at him that he wasn’t his brother, it wasn’t something she was worried about. Leo and Benson were two very different men. Two very different Doms. And she wasn’t looking for a replacement. She didn’t know what she was looking for, if she were honest with herself. But for right now, would it be such a terrible thing if she just let herself get caught up in whatever this was? If she just stopped thinking and overanalyzing, and just let things be?
“I know. And I don’t want you to.” She reached for Leo, running her hands along his slightly rough beard. She took a deep breath and her heart rate slowed. “How are you feeling?” She continued to stroke his face, relishing in the soft and rough texture against the sensitive tips of her fingers. Her whole body was buzzing from the most intense round of orgasms she’d had in a very long time, maybe ever. She just wanted to touch him, and be touched in return.
“Better. I think. I mean, I still want to kill that asshole, but... I don’t feel like my skin is going to burst if I don’t go do some serious violence right now.” He smiled, but it was sad. “Thank you for that.”
Great. Now he thought she’d pity-fucked him. Or done it only to distract him. Sure, she’d wanted that, but sleeping with him was about a lot more than that.
She slipped closer to him and pressed her lips to his in a soft, languid kiss. When she was done, she pulled the sheet over them and snuggled into his chest. “I’m glad that it helped you. I certainly feel about a zillion times better.”
“So, you’re not disappointed you didn’t get a flogging?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that, exactly, but I don’t think sex was exactly a consolation prize. Especially sex like that.”
He was quiet a few moments, and she listened to the hard thump-thump of his heart beneath her ear. He was snuggling her. And she absolutely did not hate it. If someone had told her three months ago that she’d be snuggling in bed with Leo Hastings, she would have laughed at them.
Now, though, it felt like right where she wanted to be. Even though where she should want to be was back in Benson’s arms, with him alive, and well, at her side. Yes, in a perfect world, that’s where she would be. But she couldn’t have that. What she could have was Leo. Here. Now. And so she was going to embrace it.
“It... wasn’t too much?” Leo finally asked into the silence.
“No.” As intense as it was. As much as she’d needed to come, as crazed and out of control as she’d been, as rough as he’d been driving into her – she’d thoroughly loved every second of it. Even the anticipation, the waiting, the forcing herself not to come until she was allowed to. “It wasn’t exactly vanilla, either,” she felt compelled to point out.
“I know that,” he said through clenched teeth.
She laughed and snuggled deeper into his arms. “I wasn’t trying to provoke you. Honest. I think I’ve done quite enough of that for one day. I don’t think I could handle any more tonight. What I meant was that it wasn’t exactly vanilla. Much as you wanted to keep things from being both kinky and sex, it didn’t seem to actually happen, what with your ordering me not to come, and to be silent, and all that jazz. And we bo
th survived. Without injury. And that was maybe the best fucking string of orgasms I’ve ever had in my life,” she confessed in a rush.
The admission was one more nail in the coffin of her guilt. She knew at some point, she’d have to move on from Benson. She’d have to find a way to go on not just existing, but actually living. She hadn’t wanted it to be this soon. She hadn’t wanted to just move on to his brother. And she still didn’t. But she also couldn’t deny that what she and Leo were doing was more than just to help her cope. It was more than just dealing with her grief and remastering her anorexia.
“Oh.” The one word was full of so much more than one syllable should be able to hold. It was all the things that they hadn’t quite said between them. That while this wasn’t a relationship, it was far more than casual. They’d been living together for just over three months.
“So, I think maybe we can do away with this idea that you can’t have both, if you want both.”
He was growing tense against her. She was just a puddle of mush at this point, but she could feel his body coiling tight where they touched.
“I’m not going to push. We’ll need to renegotiate I think, but I also think that you should recognize that this is different from your past experiences.” She pushed herself back from him, so she could look up at him. So he could see her face, look into her eyes and know that she spoke with conviction. “You were rough with me.”
“I know.” The two words were full of guilt.
“You were rough with me,” she repeated as she reached up and held his chin so he couldn’t look away. “And not only did I survive. I liked it.” A lot. And she was tired of feeling guilty about it. She’d allowed herself to become immersed in Leo, immersed in what they were doing, how things could be between them, and she wasn’t going to feel like shit about that. Not right now, at least. “Okay? Are you hearing me?”
He’d shared with her that he had anger issues. That he had trouble controlling himself, reigning it in so he didn’t hurt someone. She knew now that’s why he didn’t like to mix kink and sex. Because when he played with someone, he maintained control, he remained controlled at all times. That was almost impossible to do when you had sex. The whole point of sex was to lose yourself in the moment, to let yourself catapult off the edge into orgasm. And he was terrified that doing that would mean releasing his control on his anger and hurting her. She was pretty sure they’d just proven that theory wrong. And she wanted to make sure he acknowledged that. Because it was important.
From Sir, With Love Page 15