I know he needs to hear what I think, but I have no idea how to say it. “I just…I can’t act impulsively. I have Amy to think about and I need to know that if I’m making a decision like this that it’s a permanent one.”
Cain looks at me for a minute and I think he is just taking in what I said. “Let me explain something to you. I claimed you in the club. That is something you can only do once, no matter what happens in your life. We have had guys claim girls, get divorced, and they can never claim another woman. I have known there was something special about you from the moment I met you and it has been pulling me in deeper with each day. I wouldn’t have suggested what I did if I didn’t intend to spend every day making you and Amy the happiest you have ever been in your lives.”
I look at him completely speechless. “I don’t know what to say.”
He wraps his arm around the back of my neck and pulls me closer. “I can tell you what I’d like you to say. Tell me yes and I’ll spend every day making you happier than you’ve ever been.”
I smile at him, knowing he’s already done that.
“Yes.”
***
Walking into work the next day, I look back at Cain sitting in his truck. He’s watching me and even with everything going on I feel safe.
“Mommy, can I come to your classroom for a little with you since we are here early?” Amy tugs on my hand.
“Sure, but only for a little bit. Once most of the kids come in you need to go to yours.” She runs ahead of me and I smile at Donna behind the desk. Walking into my classroom, Amy is of course at my desk pretending to be the teacher. It makes me feel good that she spends time pretending to be me. I have always tried to set the best example for her I could and it wasn’t always easy.
“Mommy, look! Someone left you a valentine! Maybe it was Cain!” She blows kisses at me and I can’t help but laugh.
Opening the note, it falls from my hands immediately. I grab Amy’s hand and pull her to the front door. Cain is sitting in his truck on his phone and I wave at him. He must see the expression on my face because he runs to the door.
“What? What’s wrong?” He is looking me up and down like he’s checking for a wound.
“In the room…there’s a note.” I point to the door, unsure if I can actually move. The darkness feels like it’s creeping in and I can barely breathe without concentrating on it.
Cain takes Amy’s hand. “Hey, princess, why don’t you go to your classroom and tell your teacher all about your new room.”
Amy’s eyes light up like she forgot the people here don’t know that she has a new friend.
Cain places his hand on my back and starts to walk with me to the room. The note is still on the floor and he picks it up.
I WANTED THINGS TO WORK
I WANTED TO MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
YOU RUINED THAT
IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU NO ONE WILL
I’LL SEE YOU AND AMY SOON
Cain looks over at me. “I will protect you, Emma.”
I don’t answer him. I know it’s what he thinks, but with each thing that happens, each time he does something and we have no idea how I lose faith.
“Look at me.” He lifts my chin. “I love you.”
My breath catches when he says those words. I’ve been thinking the same thing, but I haven’t said it. People don’t actually fall in love in a week and a half in real life.
Love takes time.
I want to say it back to him, but I can’t.
I’m scared to say it.
I’m scared of what could happen with this maniac.
I’m scared to love again just to have everything yanked away from me.
Chapter Eleven
Cain
When she doesn’t say it back, I play it off like I understand, but it fucking kills me.
My dad always talked about how he fell in love with my mom the day he met her, that one minute in her presence felt like a year. I always thought he was full of shit. Now I’m living everything he described to me and there is some asshole trying to rip everything from me.
I know she’s scared and that’s why I don’t say anything to her about my feelings. I can wait for her. She’s worth it.
“Can you take the day off?”
She nods. “Let me just tell Donna I need to leave.”
“Okay, I’ll go get Amy.” I place a kiss on her head, knowing as much as I need to touch her right now that she is fighting to keep everything together and that will just make it harder on her. I grab Amy from her classroom and walk out to find Emma staring out the door. “You ready?”
I touch her back and she jumps, screaming. “I’m—I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Let’s just get you home.” Home. It’s what I want with her. Somewhere I can come home to the both of them. The family I never knew I wanted or needed. “So I need to warn you. I was supposed to leave for a little and have Evan cover me. My parents were coming to the club today and I was going to meet them for lunch. They’re probably already there.”
She looks over at me, her eyes wide. “Your parents?”
“Yea, they used to be in the club. My dad stepped down a few years ago and he and my mom moved out to the country more. They come down every once in a while, though.” I pull into the lot and see my dad’s bike. “Casey is home, so you can go surprise her if you want.”
Amy is out of the car before I even finish my sentence. I think it’s great that she and Casey hit it off. Ryan has raised that little girl all by himself and I think having Amy around gives him a little bit of a break.
“How are you feeling?” I turn to Emma, who is still pale.
“I…um, I’m not really sure.”
I take her hand and she looks at me. “I doubt she’ll care if I tell you, but my mom had a really bad ex when she met my dad. He roughed her up a lot. She might be able to relate a little bit. At least to the fear.”
She gnaws on her bottom lip and I get out of the car, heading around to her side. She always jokes she’s too short for the truck, but I love helping her get out of it. I take her hand and walk into the clubhouse with her. Dom is hanging out on one of the couches, but I cock my head and he walks over. I hand him the note.
“I’m gonna guess you won’t get anything, but it’s worth a shot. Keep scanning those tapes and see if we’re missing anything.”
“On it.” He walks off.
“Cain.” My dad walks over and Emma squeezes my hand. “Thought you said we couldn’t meet her?”
“Plans changed. Emma, this is my dad, Cutter. Dad, this is Emma.”
“Nice to meet you,” Emma says and offers him her hand.
“We don’t shake hands here unless it’s a business deal, sweetheart.” He pulls her into a hug and I can tell at first she’s uncomfortable, but she relaxes quickly. “Go say hi to your mother and let me talk to her for a few minutes.”
I look over at Emma and she gives me a small nod. I find my mom talking to Logan in the office.
“Hey.” She turns around and gives me a huge hug.
"Cain, you must have walked right past your father. We weren't expecting you for a little bit."
“I saw Dad. He’s in the mailroom talking to Emma.”
Logan’s eyes meet mine. I know he’s asking if we had to leave and I nod. He mouths ‘fuck’ before walking away presumably to find Dom.
“Emma? I thought you said she had to work?”
“She did, but something came up.” I walk over to the couch and sit down.
“Talk to me.” She sits next to me, rubbing my back like she always used to.
“Someone is after her, and I’m so fucking scared that I won’t be able to keep her safe. She’s terrified all the time, she has nightmares, she can barely walk outside without her body stiffening. It’s killing me.” I want to get up and hit something. Looking over, I see Logan never did fix the wall.
“So you’re in love with her?” Mom arches an eyebrow at me.
&nb
sp; I nod. “I told her today too, but she didn’t say anything.”
“You told her when? When whatever happened had to make her leave work? You couldn’t have expected her to have a clear head and say it back at that point.”
I stand up. “I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t love me. She’s so different than this life. She deserves better.”
“Cain Russell.” My mom stands up and moves in front of me. “You are a good man and deserving of so much more than you know. Give her time.”
She pats me on the shoulder and then walks out of the office.
I hope she’s right.
Chapter Twelve
Emma
“Cutter, are you harassing that poor girl?” A woman about my size comes walking toward us. She looks just like Cain.
“No, babe, just welcoming her to the family.” He laughs and I’m taken aback by his statement. Then it clicks that he means because Cain claimed me, I’m part of the club, the family.
“Well, get out of here and let us girls talk for a little.” She shoos him away and I can’t help but laugh. “Nice to meet you, hon, I’m Cain’s mom, but you can call me Jaz.”
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”
She takes my arm and leads me down through the main room, next to the bar where there’s a door. When she opens it, I see there are a few couches and a TV. The room is much more decorated than any room I’ve seen here.
“What is this?”
“Have the girls not shown you this yet? This is where we used to go and hide from everyone.” She sits down and pats the couch next to her. “So I hear that you have some rough stuff going on. If you need an understanding ear, I went through my own issues when I first met Cain’s dad.”
I nod. “He mentioned something like that but no specifics.”
“I figured he would. I had a husband who used to abuse me, physically and emotionally. The physical bruises hurt more at first, but the emotional ones hurt more in the long run. Some of them are still with me because once someone gets in your head to the point that they change the way you think, it’s hard as hell to rid yourself of that experience.”
I haven’t talked to anyone but Cain about this, but something makes me feel like I can open up to her. “It’s almost like I’ve forgotten how to function. Something small will trigger a memory and then my whole body freezes. I can’t move, can’t think. It scares the hell out of me.”
“You need to lean on people. You can’t do everything yourself. No one can.” Her hand rests on my leg and I look up. “Lean on Cain. He wants to help, but he doesn’t know how. Maybe you don’t even know how he can help, but sometimes just knowing someone is there is all the help you need. I have never seen my son close to loving someone, much less in love. That kind of emotion is powerful and it can do amazing things if you embrace it.”
“It’s too early for him to love me.” I look away, trying not to let her see how screwed up my emotions are right now. “He just wants to save me.”
“Hush, that might be something you tell yourself because you’re scared, but you and I both know you love him too. It’s why you can’t even look at me right now. Love isn’t measured by the amount of time you’ve known a person, but by how they make you feel. The way you put them before anyone else, you worry about them before yourself. The only thing time does is go by.”
I know how I feel and how much I care about Cain. I also know she’s right. I’m scared. I don’t want to be hurt again, I don’t want whoever this is to hurt any of us.
“Now, how about we head out there, grab something for lunch, and get to know each other?”
I nod. “That sounds great.”
I follow Jaz out to the main room and Cain is standing there talking to his dad. I can’t help the smile I get when I see him standing there.
“Hey, beautiful.” He puts his arm around me and I lay my head against his chest. “How you feeling?” he whispers in my ear.
I turn to face him and smile. "In love."
He freezes for a minute like he didn’t hear or understand me. Cain leans down, kissing me. “Say it again.”
I laugh at his expression. “I love you.”
“Goddamn, that sounds even better than when you said you were mine.” He picks me up and spins me around a few times.
“My turn!” Amy yells, running into the room.
Cain bends down, scooping her up. He spins her a few times and her giggle echoes through the large space.
“Hey, Cain?”
He stops spinning her. “Yea?”
“There is a dance the other girls are going to.” Amy looks around and then at the floor. “It’s for daddies and daughters, but I don’t have a daddy.” My heart breaks as she says that statement. “Do you think you could take me?”
Oh my God.
Cain looks over at me and he looks shocked. “I would love to take you, but you have to promise me something.”
Amy looks up at him a hopeful expression on her face.
“You have to wear a beautiful dress.”
She smiles so hard and wraps her arms around his neck. “Yes! Thank you!”
A tear falls down my cheek as I watch the two of them together.
“I need to go tell Casey! Maybe she can come too!”
Cain puts her down and she sets off running.
He turns to me, shock still written on his face. “I can’t believe she asked me that.”
“I can. You’ve been amazing with her since that first night. She’s never had a man in her life who treated her like she mattered.”
He pulls me close to him. “You both matter more than I think you realize.”
“I think I’m starting to get it. You’ll have to be patient, though. Scars take time to heal.”
He kisses me again. “Time is something we will have plenty of.”
Chapter Thirteen
Emma
Tonight is the dance and Amy is so excited I feel like she just might burst. Cain convinced Ryan to take Casey so Ana and I are getting the girls ready. Amy picked out a poofy pink dress with a bow in the back. I french braided her hair and put a few small flowers through it.
“How do I look Mommy?” she spins as she watches the dress twirl in the mirror.
“You look like a princess,” I give her a huge hug and try to hold in the tears that I don’t want to shed. “Let’s head out so you can get your night started.”
After her dad left I never thought there would be a man around that would do these things with her. He hurt me so much, that I never imagined giving anyone else the power to do it to me again. Once all of this started happening I really never imagined being able to be in a relationship again and be happy. Every dream I had for Amy only involved me and these last few days I have been having new dreams with all three of us. Sometimes I think I’m setting myself up for failure like once this is all over there won’t be anymore excitement and he’ll leave.
Amy starts to run out to the main room and when Cain hear her tiny heels hitting the ground he turns towards us. The way his eyes light up when he looks at her makes me fall even more in love with him. “Wow, I thought I was taking Amy to the dance. Who is this princess?”
“Cain! It is me!” she laughs and then gives him a hug.
“Let me take your picture before the two of you go!” they pose for a few pictures. Then Cain comes over toward me.
He leans down and kisses me, “don’t miss me too much.”
I roll my eyes at him, “you wish. Have fun.”
“Will do, you have fun too.” He winks at me before he takes Amy’s hand and leads her outside.
“So…girls night?” Ana asks.
I turn toward he and all the other girls are standing around too. “That sounds amazing.” I walk over to the bar with them and grab a drink. “I still can’t believe he took her to this. It’s so sweet.”
“Girl, you have that man so whipped he would have worn a fucking princess dress tonight if you asked him to.” Shaina says with
a hand on her hip. We all start to laugh just picturing Cain in a bright pink dress.
“Please, he is not.” I roll my eyes.
“Eh, we all beg to differ babe.” Allison says as she pours shots.
“Yea I have to agree with the girls here I have never seen Cain like this. He is most definitely hooked. It’s a good thing the boys don’t do road name like they used to or he might have ended up like Ana’s dad.” Shaina says as Ana lands a punch to her arm.
“What’s a road name?” I swear every day I learn something new about he club.
“I’ll take this one” Ana says and moves closer to me. “A road name is like a nickname once you become a brother. Everyone in the club would call them that, and their real name basically doesn’t exist anymore. My dad’s road name was Whip, because of how he would do anything for my mom. In fact Shaina’s dad is the one who gave him that name.
“Really?” I start to laugh, “why don’t they do it anymore?”
Shaina shrugs her shoulders, “when Logan took over he, Jimmy, and Cain changed a lot of stuff.”
“I think it’s really cool how you guys all have parents that were in the club and got to grow up here together.”
Ana shrugs, “It has it’s ups and downs.”
My thoughts wander to Cain and Amy and how much I hope they are having an amazing time.
Chapter Fourteen
Cain
Driving to the dance I think to how much my life has changed in the last two weeks. I would have never thought I’d be here. It feels like I’ve known Emma for so much longer than I have. Now I’m taking her little girl to a daddy daughter dance with Ryan and everything is really feeling like it’s falling into place.
Walking into the building everything is pink and shiny. The girls let out a big squeal as they walk in holding hands.
Cain (Deathstalkers 2nd Generation Book 1) Page 6