by Quinn, Taryn
“It’s just wet. Just water. Here, honey.” Ivy hurried around me to the sink to blot another towel and returned to clean up the spot.
All I could do was watch her. And sniffle like an idiot.
“I’m not a crier.”
“Of course you’re not. Here we go. See? Water just splashed it when you wiped your face. All clear.” She showed me the towel and then threw it in the bin. “And even better…” She pried a halfway flattened box of Chiclets gum out of her pocket. “My baby loves these. I mean, Rhi. She’s not a baby anymore.”
I smiled mistily as she shook two into my palm. “She’ll always be your baby. And she’s small yet.”
“She is, and she will be, yeah. My husband is in denial she’s growing up. He can’t believe she’s potty training. I told him that’s likely going to be a multi-year process, so he doesn’t have to worry. His little girl is still little.” She laughed uneasily. “I’m babbling. Sorry. Bad habit.”
“You’re sweet.” I popped the gum into my mouth and chewed until the lingering taste from being sick faded.
“Here, why don’t you lean on me a bit and we’ll go in back, sit down on that fabulous settee Kin keeps making noises about moving into stock but never will? It’s nice and comfortable.”
I let her lead me out of the bathroom. Right then, I didn’t trust my legs to keep me upright. It wasn’t entirely due to my physical…condition either. The white noise buzzing in my ears and mad hummingbird wings flapping in my belly from nerves weren’t helping matters.
We hurried into the back room, and I collapsed on the settee in relief. Until my head spun and I had to bend over again to get my wind back.
Ivy rubbed my shoulder. “Maybe you should see a doctor? Just in case.”
“No. No doctor yet.” I knew what I had, and it didn’t require a prescription.
“Okay.” She sat next to me, still rubbing. “Then do you want me to call someone? Like Ryan? She’s your bestie, right?”
I straightened again and shook my head. Miracle of all miracles, it didn’t fly off my shoulders and land in the planter in the corner.
“She’s not your bestie?”
“She is, but that love business is keeping her busy.”
“Not too busy for her best friend. Besides, she needs to come up for air and sustenance sometimes. Trust me, I know.”
“Well, you’re in a long distance relationship a lot of the year, right? That keeps everything fresh.”
“Fresh, maybe, but it’s really freaking hard when your kid wants her father and you can’t give her that simple thing.”
“No, but there’s FaceTime. And she has you.” I gripped her hand and gave her knuckles a quick rub.
She exhaled and then pasted on a smile of her own. “We aren’t talking about me right now, but nice try.”
I shrugged innocently.
“What about Caleb?”
Like a switch had been flipped, I heard his voice in my head.
“Some women have one thing in mind.”
That wasn’t me. At all. And I wasn’t used to asking for help, even if he shared this responsibility as much as I did. Imagining what his face would look like when I told him just made me want to put it off forever.
“No. No way.”
Ivy’s face softened. “He’s probably still at school. He always sticks around for any kids who need help with homework or if they want to talk.”
There was absolutely no reason for my eyes to well up. “Yeah.”
Ivy swallowed audibly. “Look, I know he has this whole ‘parental hands-off’ vibe, but I think he’s just intimidated by the prospect.”
“He’s not the only one. Only difference is he doesn’t have a womb.”
“Unless there’s something he neglected to tell us, no. But...” That but hung in the air between us. “Anyone can see how he is with kids. He has a gift with them. Relates to them in a way most of us can’t.”
I dashed at the deluge now dripping off my chin. “Sure that’s not because he has a similar maturity level?” I held up a hand before she could speak. “Sorry, not fair. For one, he’s your brother. You shouldn’t be put in the middle. And secondly, he hasn’t done anything wrong. Nothing has to change.”
“You should take a test.”
“I don’t need to.”
Alarm contorted her features. “No, you can’t do that. He deserves to know. How can you assume he won’t step up? He’s a good guy, I swear he is. If it’ll make it easier, I can come with you to tell him. You have to tell him,” she pleaded, turning her hand over to fiercely grip mine. “It would kill him not to know.”
“I never said I wouldn’t—oh, no, you think I meant…” Rapidly, I shook my head. “No. Of course I’ll tell him.”
Someday. When I grew some lady balls or when I busted through the seams of my dress, either or.
She narrowed her eyes. “You don’t need a test, but you swear you’re not thinking of not going…along with it?”
“I don’t need one because I know. I think I’ve been in some denial, but now I’m not.” I released a slow, steady breath, cocking my head as her energy took on a cool blue hue from the pulsing red it had been just a second before. Auras lately had been getting stronger and stronger for me. Yet I’d tried not to notice, like the other changes I’d resisted seeing. “You were so worried you were going to lose your niece or nephew.”
“My niece or nephew.” She closed her eyes before opening them again and focusing on mine. “God, yes, I was. I didn’t know what you were thinking.”
“Not that. Never that.”
“Good. I’m glad.” She yanked out her phone and glanced at it. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Just time to pick up Rhi. Though my mom won’t want to give her up. She loves being a Nana way more than she liked dealing with us kids when we were small.”
I tried to keep my smile in place, but my lips quivered. “Mine won’t ever know what that’s like.”
“What?”
“Having a grandmother to dote on him or her. My mother—we aren’t close.”
Understatement of the millennium. We hadn’t talked in years. There was no indication that would change anytime soon. Not unless I gave up the parts of myself that made me me and I wouldn’t do that for anyone.
“Oh, sweetie.” Ivy slid closer to me on the settee and slung her arm around my shoulders, squeezing hard as she tipped her head against mine. “You’re not just gaining a…Caleb, you’re getting the whole Beck family. My mom will love your baby every bit as much as her other grandkids. You don’t have to worry about that, I promise.”
Her words set off a soft pink glow in my chest. Not for me, but for the baby. I’d grown used to making my own family. I had April and Ryan and now she had Preston, which was another branch. Maybe someday I’d even have X in my life again, assuming we ever managed to make it through a conversation.
Or if I ever dared to trust him again.
Knowing I had a child on the way changed things. I wanted him or her to have loved ones to count on. Even so, I wasn’t going to build myself up with false hopes.
No matter what, I was a realist. I always trusted the universe to provide what was for my highest good.
That didn’t mean I didn’t ever delude myself. At least it never lasted long.
“We’re supposed to be having dinner tomorrow night with Ry and Preston. Can you come?” This time, my smile was genuine. “I’d really love it if you were there.”
Ivy frowned. “Oh, I would, but Rory’s coming home tomorrow, and I can’t guarantee what time he’ll be getting in.”
“If you’d rather catch up alone, I totally understand. But if you want to join us, you’re welcome whenever you can make it. Rhiannon too,” I added, hoping everyone else agreed.
Ryan loved kids—from a distance—and I didn’t know how Preston felt about them, but an adult dinner was a bit different than one including children. But I appreciated Ivy being there
for me today, and I wanted to spend more time with her.
Besides, Rhi was adorable. Especially when she wasn’t sobbing.
Ivy brightened as she rose. “You know, maybe we can. Let me see what Rory says, and I’ll let you know.”
I stood too. Thankfully, the earth felt a lot more solid beneath my feet than it had just a short while ago. My stomach had settled, and I wasn’t nearly as dizzy. Of course that might’ve been because my panic had finally receded.
For the time being anyway. I hadn’t begun to fully process everything. I just couldn’t yet. Right now, I was just trying to get through each minute. To come to terms with my new reality. Only then could I think about my next steps.
We walked out into the main part of the store into chaos.
Clothes were spread all over the floor and the rack that had held them had toppled on its side. Brynn was sitting amidst the mess, gathering accessories, tops, and skirts. Kinleigh crouched near her to help pick up while another employee manned the register. A long line of customers had already formed and more than a few of them seemed disgruntled.
I hurried over to join Kinleigh and Brynn. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I was sick. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’ll help Brynn. Go on and assist your customers, Kin.” I bent over near the biggest pile of unsorted clothes, but as soon as I did, a pink hue pulsed around Brynn.
“Hang on there.” Ivy rushed over to steady me again, and I wobbled before I sank onto my ass on the floor.
I glanced up in time to see Ivy and Kinleigh exchange a look. One that said so much. Besties could convey a whole conversation without words.
Seeing mine tomorrow night without letting on what was happening with me was going to be a challenge. But she wasn’t the only one I’d have to convince my world hadn’t turned upside down.
There was also Caleb.
Thirteen
“Are you sure you don’t want to take my momma out, Mr. Beck?”
I gazed down at little Tommy Molloy and tried to keep from grinning. “Well, Tommy, I’m sorry, but I have a girlfriend. But that’s awfully nice of you to want to set up your mom.”
“She needs to go on a date. She and my dad are diz-vorced.”
“Diz-vorced?”
Tommy pushed his glasses up his nose and nodded. “For like a really long time.”
“That so?” I thought his mother had just told me about the divorce recently, but time had no meaning lately.
Everything was moving in fast forward. It wouldn’t be that long until first quarter report cards were due, which would mean the joy of parent-teacher conferences. Then not long after that would be Halloween and our classroom party, which would herald in a season of more holidays, numerous chorale concerts, and insanity.
On top of that, my relationship with Luna seemed to be accelerating too. Neither of us said anything. We weren’t into labels or designations. We hadn’t discussed her being my girlfriend, but I’d told Tommy how I felt. I didn’t know what else to call her. We spent the bulk of our free time together. Slept together almost every night—literally. Sometimes at my place, sometimes at hers. We’d wake up and make breakfast together or I would make our meal while she did yoga or did one of her routines with her blessedly wonderful pole.
We felt solid. Like a real couple. As if we were becoming…more.
More than I’d ever had before, that was for certain. And I liked it. Telling Tommy what I hadn’t said to anyone else yet—including Luna—seemed right. So much, in fact, that I couldn’t keep from grinning as the little towheaded boy told me how his dad had moved out “forever ago”, so now would be a good time for another guy to become the “man of the house.”
“But aren’t you the man of the house now? You have a little sister, don’t you?”
“Yes. Tina.” Tommy screwed up his face. “She won’t pick up her toys but still marks off the chart so she gets a dollar. No fair.”
“I have a younger sister too. She’s actually one of my best friends. It’ll be different when you’re older. You’ll see.”
Tommy gazed up at me as if I’d just said the tooth fairy was really Santa Claus. “Tina steals food.”
“She’s just a baby now. You wait.” I tapped my chin. “You know, if your mom gets remarried, you might get another sister.”
The horror that crossed Tommy’s face had me swallowing a laugh. He hightailed it out of the room without even saying goodbye.
Apparently, the fear of another little sister was enough to kill even his basic manners.
Shaking my head with a smile, I packed up my soft sided briefcase with the homework I had to check over and made sure I had my lucky pen, since the kids were always trying to borrow it. A text from Luna made me grin on my way to the bathroom before iz headed out.
I was in the area so I’m coming up. Or is that you’ll be coming up?
When you’re involved, babe, that’s a definite. See you soon. I missed you.
I frowned as I took care of business in the bathroom and washed up. How could you miss someone you’d just seen this morning? And last night? And rinse and repeat for all the previous days for the last several weeks? The nights we didn’t spend together were few and far between. As it was, I hadn’t hung out with my best friend in a while, and it wasn’t for his lack of trying.
As he was trying again right now, texting me while I dried my hands. I checked my phone with a wince.
Okay, asshole, I’m about to tack a photo of your face up at the post office and offer a reward for sightings.
I’m around. You know what the start of school is like.
School started weeks ago, and hello, Friday night beer fest? Where was your ass? Not at The Spinning Wheel, that’s for sure.
I scratched my neck. That had been the night Luna and I had gone for a picnic down by the lake—and finished with a romp in the Hamiltons’ boat house. Hey, it was convenient, and Seth was a friend. Surely he’d understand the call of nature.
And the demands of a really hard dick after seeing the see-through thong Luna had on under her pretty floral sundress.
I had something come up.
Uh-huh. I can guess what.
In lieu of an answer that sounded smug, I sent him a winky face.
Whatever, man, you can’t ghost another dude. It’s just not done.
I’m not ghosting you.
You know, never mind. Just enjoy Luna and forget all about me.
My thumbs blurred over the screen as I stepped out of the bathroom and glimpsed Luna at the opposite end of the hall, looking like a damn vision in her kicky skirt and denim jacket. I typed faster.
I was going to ask you to dinner tonight at The Hummingbird’s Nest. Can you make it?
This probably wasn’t the best idea, and I hadn’t run it by Luna in any case. Our small intimate dinner with her best friend and her new dude was about to be blown to hell.
A long pause during which I waved to Luna—and scowled when Mike London sauntered out of his classroom and immediately began chatting up my girl.
Hurry the fuck up, Lucky.
Ok. What time?
Six?
He sent me a thumbs up sign, so I decided not to mention the whole date thing. You could never be sure who he might show up with. Sometimes he brought multiples. Once or twice, he’d even asked the server to take a break and join us.
With Lucky, anything went. Often.
Luna walked away from Mike and strolled toward me, her smile bright. She was like a damn ray of sunshine with her blond curls escaping from her updo. Big glittery moon earrings swung from her ears and matched the pendant that dipped teasingly low between her breasts in her lemon-colored top.
I started to smile back—it was almost impossible not to—but her expression seemed glassy. A pretty veneer that didn’t match what was beneath.
“What’s wrong?” I demanded, meeting her in the middle of the hall.
Her easy smile dipped for a moment before she shored it up again as she leaned up on
her tiptoes and slung her arms around my neck. She pressed her mouth to mine in an entirely school-inappropriate kiss, her lips almost frantic. Her tongue slipped in to wrap around mine when I would’ve spoken, and I let out a sound that was half groan and half growl.
I might be frustrated that she was trying to distract me through sensuous means, but my cock had no issue with the circumstances.
Still, I gripped her upper arms and gently drew her away from me as footsteps sounded behind me.
In a different world, it would’ve been a fellow teacher or maybe the custodian. But that would’ve been too easy.
“Mr. Beck, this is not a club of ill repute.” She stopped beside us and fixed us with a stern expression. “Kindly take your physical consortium out of this building at once.”
Physical consortium? That was a new usage. Leave it to Sister.
“It’s my fault. I’m sorry.” Luna jumped away from me as if my touch had scalded her skin. “I’ll leave.”
She rushed down the hall before I had time to make sense of what happened. What the hell?
Sister sniffed. “I’ve received reports about you before, Mr. Beck.”
I bristled, staring after Luna. I had to figure out what was going on with her, but what could I do? This was my boss.
Heaven help me.
“What kind of reports?”
“That you’re a consummate flirt. Which is fine in its place.”
“Is that so?”
“Some of our single parents find a friendly smile puts them at ease.”
I crossed my arms. “And makes them open their wallet?”
She didn’t blink. “But displays such as what I witnessed, when children are still running these halls—”
“Most of the children are gone. In any case, I’m sure most of them have seen a kiss before and not fallen over in shock.”