It was my turn to shake my head, a twinge of regret radiating through my chest. “Damn, I missed a lot.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I bet he doesn’t even know who I am.” Crew and Drea’s son had only been a few months old when I’d gone to prison so it was a safe bet he wouldn’t recognize me.
“You might be surprised,” Cord commented without bothering to explain, his expression unreadable. An awkward silence settled over us and I cast around for something to break it. Cord beat me to it though, not bothering to pull any punches. “Why did you do it?” The question struck me hard, since it was the same one I’d asked myself at least thousand times, and yet the answer never changed.
“What other choice did I have?”
“Let her take the fall,” he snapped, reeling around to face me, his eyes glittering. “This saving the damsel in distress shit is going to get you killed one of these days.” He forcibly calmed his breathing, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose, and I waited, familiar with Cord’s temper. He blew up, but once he’d said his piece, all was forgiven. “We lost three years.”
“At least it wasn’t twelve,” I quipped and he shot me a glare through slitted eyes. “You don’t exactly have room to be talking, brother.” He flinched at the jab, but my satisfaction was short lived. Cord had his reasons for leaving and throwing the long absence in his face wasn’t going to change anything. “I’m sorry,” I grunted and he shook his head.
“No, I deserve it.” He pinned me with a hard stare. “I just don’t know why you would do essentially the same thing, knowing what you would miss.”
“It’s not exactly the same,” I defended weakly and he snorted. “Alright, you might have a point, but I would make the same decision again.”
“I know,” he said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, but you left a hell of a mess behind.”
I gave him a questioning glance, my brow furrowing when he took a deep breath. “How bad is it?” I asked, turning to face him.
“There’s been some talk,” his jaw worked, “That you’ve gone,” he shook his head, a disbelieving huff escaping him before his eyes met mine. “They’re saying you’ve gone renegade.”
“Renegade?” I repeated stupidly, the idea so foreign I couldn’t comprehend it. “Me?”
“Yeah, I know, it’s retarded, but guys talk. They wonder if you’re an Ace now.”
“No,” I blasted, raking a hand over the top of my head. “That’s not –” I shook my head, unable to even form a retort. “No,” I repeated fiercely, my words quieter now but no less sharp. “I am a Rebel.”
“That’s not all,” he warned and I lifted my hands, anger spiking through me.
“Questioning my loyalty isn’t enough?” He kept his gaze steady and it dawned on me. “It’s not just about the Aces,” I stated, scraping my palms along my thighs. “It’s about the fact that I got released early.” He nodded, not that I needed the confirmation. “I didn’t sell out the club,” I said, needing him to know, my chest not easing until he nodded.
“You don’t need to tell me.”
I lowered my head, stalking across the garage, impotent anger spurring me. “But is Johnny going to believe me? He’s gonna take my word for it?” Cord rubbed his hand over his jaw as I paced. “And the rest of the club….they’re just gonna fall in line?”
“It might help if they knew why you got released early,” Cord suggested hesitantly and my stride faltered. “You haven’t talked about it.”
“Good behavior,” I muttered, sounding unconvincing to myself, even though that had been the official reason listed on the paperwork they’d handed me.
“Might want to work on your presentation there, Champ. Colt lies better than that and he’s three,” Colt mentioned idly as the garage wall blurred in front of my eyes, remembering the moment when I’d been told I was getting out.
A constant beep dragged me out of unconsciousness and I blinked blearily, uncertain where I was or how I’d gotten there. “You’re awake.” Footsteps drew closer and I willed my eyes to remain open. “They tell me you’ll live, and thanks to you, so will the doctor you protected.”
Hard eyes met mine and I sucked in a startled breath when I recognized him. “Warden,” I managed hoarsely, my voice barely there and as he stared down at me I realized I was in a hospital bed.
“Chance or as I understand, you prefer Clutch?” I nodded, wincing when I shifted to try and sit up. “I’d hold off on moving around if I were you. Nasty little cut you have there.” My hand went instinctively to my side as bits of memory returned, namely the white hot burn as the shiv had entered, and I took a shaky breath. “Yeah,” the warden nodded to himself as he spoke, “Nasty little cut. Could have been worse though, would have been if it had gotten Diane.” My forehead wrinkled as I tried to work out who Diane was and what she had to do with anything. “Anyhow, the way I see it, I owe you.”
That grabbed my attention and I stilled, staring at him. I noticed for the first time that he wasn’t wearing his normal suit and it looked like he’d raked a hand through his hair a few times.
“I don’t,” I paused, clearing my throat so I could speak. “I don’t understand.”
He sucked air between his teeth. “I don’t like owing favors to anybody, so I’m going to go ahead and do you a favor.” I started to shake my head and he held up his hand. “No arguments. The paperwork has already been submitted.” My face must have shown my confusion because he gave me a tight smile. “Your release papers,” he clarified, seeming to enjoy my suddenly stunned expression. “Good behavior.” He dipped his head, murmuring, “Have a nice day, son,” as he left the room, leaving me staring after him in disbelief.
***
“I don’t know what to tell you, Cord,” I shrugged, spinning around as I came back to the present. “Truth is stranger than fiction.”
“I won’t deny that, but Johnny might want a better explanation.”
“I wish I had one to give him,” I admitted in a low voice, not entirely sure why I was so reluctant to tell him about the actions that had spurred my release, except I didn’t want to talk about her. Cord wasn’t wrong about my tendency to rescue damsels in distress, but saving her felt different and I couldn’t explain the difference to myself so I wasn’t about to try with Johnny and the club.
“I guess he’ll just have to take your word for it then,” Cord murmured, accepting my reticence without question. “You ready for your party?” He asked abruptly, dropping the discussion of my release. “Sloan’s been planning it ever since we found out you were coming home.”
“Yeah, I figured. It’s all good,” I muttered automatically, almost missing his next words.
“Just act surprised, a’ight?”
“Surp-” I was cut off when a dark headed tornado came running through the door.
“Uncle Cord!” He shouted, making a beeline straight for Cord until he spotted me. The little boy froze, his eyes growing huge as he took in the sight of me. I tensed, afraid my presence might scare him since I was essentially a stranger. A woman strolled in after him, shoving sunglasses on top of her head as she came in and I recognized Crew’s other half.
“Colt Donatello Hayes, what have I said about running ahead?” She scolded, bracing her hands on her hips.
“Someone might kidnap me,” he answered dutifully, then glanced over his shoulder at his mother as he finished, “But Uncle Creed says they’d give me right back.”
I snorted, drawing his attention back to me as I said, “If I recall, Johnny used to say the same about us.” I glanced over at Cord and he nodded, a rueful smile on his face. “He wasn’t wrong.”
Colt took a deep breath, wandering a little closer to me and taking a chance, I crouched to his height. “Are you,” he hesitated, his little face scrutinizing me carefully, “Are you Uncle Clutch?” The way he said my name, the practically awestruck expression on his face, made me wonder what they’d told the kid about me.
�
�I am,” I answered, wondering how he’d react, but not expecting him to launch himself at me. I rocked back on my heel as I caught him mid leap, his chubby arms clinging to my neck as he threatened to choke me. “Whoa, easy there, kid. I didn’t get out of jail to be choked to death.”
He leaned back, still hanging on for dear life as he looked at me with a level of hero worship that made me a tad uncomfortable. “I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet you,” he exclaimed, a smile lighting up his entire face. “I’m ready.”
“Ready for what?” I asked dumbly, wondering what exactly Crew had promised the tike. Cord shook his head as he rubbed his mouth, hiding a grin. Drea started to cringe and my gut started to churn as I repeated, “Ready for what?”
“To learn how to ride,” Colt answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Daddy promised when you got out you’d teach me how to ride.” My mouth twisted as I started to understand why Cord was holding back laughter and Drea looked so damn uncomfortable.
“A bike, huh?”
He nodded eagerly, a recognizable excitement glowing in his eyes as he released my neck to point at the motorcycle in the corner of the garage, the one covered in a tarp waiting for my return. “That one.”
“That one,” I repeated, shifting his weight as I started to grasp why he was so happy to meet me. “You don’t think you might want to start with something smaller?” I asked, glancing at Drea.
She rolled her eyes. “We thought he’d be older when you got out,” she explained, shaking her head. “His first word was ride.”
“Maybe we should start with three wheels and then work our way up to two,” I suggested and Colt frowned.
“No.”
“Yes,” I retorted, setting him down. “I taught your daddy to ride and I’ll teach you, but I expect you to listen and do what I say.” A stubborn look came over his face, one so much like Crew’s I had to shake my head. “Hardheaded as your daddy, I see.”
“Oh, he’s twice as bad,” Cord assured me. “He inherited his mother’s tenacity as well.”
Drea pursed her lips but didn’t contradict him.
“Ride,” Colt insisted, going right over to my bike and tugging off the tarp. The chrome gleamed in the dim light, sending a pang through me. I’d had to rebuild her completely after wrecking her to save Sloan. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed her.
I walked over and patted the leather seat. “I missed you, old girl.” I ran my hand over the bike’s curves, checking her over.
“She’s fine,” Cord grumbled, watching me. “No one in their right mind would touch her without your permission.” Colt immediately made a liar out of him as he clambered onto the seat, agile as a monkey, and started to make vroom noises.
“You were saying?”
“Kid’s a grease monkey. Just like his uncle,” Cord replied, grasping my shoulder. “It’s good to have you home.”
I nodded automatically, ignoring the hollow feeling that seemed to grow in my chest the longer I was here. I was home. Home with my brothers and the Rebels, and if it felt like something or someone was missing, I’d get over it.
Chapter Five
Clutch
I stepped through the door, my boots squeaking on the old linoleum floor, alerting the bustling woman to my presence. She spun around, letting out a squawk when she caught sight of me.
“Clutch!” My name was muffled since she’d immediately wrapped her arms around me, squeezing tight enough to crush a smaller person and I let out a laugh as I returned the hug.
“Mary,” I said affectionately, picking her up as if she weighed nothing, her soft gray curls brushing my nose as she started fussing.
“Put me down, you foolish boy, you’re gonna put your back out.” My chest rumbled at the thought and she swatted my shoulder. “None of you boys are as young as you think you are.” She caught my face between her hands, holding me still as her expression grew serious. “Don’t you ever do that again, Clutch Hayes, you hear me? Never again.”
I nodded, or attempted to, but she had a firm grip on my cheeks. “Yes, ma’am,” I mumbled, making fish lips until she let out a reluctant laugh. “I missed you too,” I told her when she released me, setting her down gently right as Hank banged through the door, stopping short at seeing me standing in the club kitchen.
“Well, hell, if it a’int the last Hayes boy come home,” he roared, loud enough the entire building rattled and I winced, knowing my attempt to sneak in to see Johnny was ruined. Hank stomped toward me and Mary wagged her finger at him.
“Now, you be nice, ya hear me?” She warned, her rotund body placed firmly between us. “I ain’t having no trouble. I just cleaned this kitchen.”
“I’m not going to beat the boy,” Hank grumbled, stopping short of her finger. “Even if he deserves it,” he mumbled under his breath and Mary gave a sharp frown. “Don’t you worry your pretty head, Mary, Mary, quite contrary,” he sang, giving her a smacking kiss on the cheek. “Your kitchen is safe.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she retorted, giving him a sideways glance, but she moved from between us, pulling a worn apron over her head. “I’ve got,” she paused, shooting me a glance. “Things to do,” she added vaguely, waving her hand. “You two – behave.” Her gaze darted between us as she backed toward the door. “I mean it.”
We nodded dutifully and she slipped through the door.
“I’m –”
I didn’t get a chance to finish as Hank’s fist slammed into my gut and I doubled over, wheezing. He flexed his hand and I eyed it warily, trying to catch my breath before the next blow came.
“Don’t worry, I’m done,” Hank informed me, turning away as I straightened painfully. “I couldn’t hit you in the face since Mary would fuss.” I nodded in understanding as Hank shook his head, his normally placid expression stormy. “Damn it, boy. I thought you were going to be the son I always wanted.” I flinched, knowing I hadn’t been the only one disappointed when it hadn’t worked out with Ronnie. “My girl never had the best taste in men, but I thought for once, she’d gotten it right with you.” The reprimand hurt worse than the gut punch, but I took it without a single protest. I’d done them wrong, hurt Ronnie and Kara, and in turn, Mary and Hank. He let out a sigh, running a hand over the bushy beard that reached his stomach. “It’s good to have you back,” he finally muttered with a shake of his head. “I won’t be so forgiving the next time you run off,” he warned, nodding to the arm I still held cradled against my abdomen and I managed not to flinch. “They’re waiting.”
I glanced at him questioningly. “I thought I’d talk to Johnny first. Alone.”
“You thought wrong,” Hank rumbled, his stare giving nothing away.
“I didn’t betray the club,” I stated, feeling uneasy at the thought of one of my oldest friends believing me capable.
“I know that,” he grunted, any reassurance quickly fading with his next words. “If I had thought you’d betrayed us, I wouldn’t have met you with a punch to the gut.” His gaze sharpened. “It would have been a hole.”
I swallowed, giving him a grim nod as I went to step around him. He stopped me with a heavy hand on my shoulder. He shook me lightly, falling into step next to me, and a lump formed in my throat at the show of faith. “You’re family,” he reminded me. “We’ll get through this…same as everything else.”
We went down the hall, passing several club members, and it was easy to see who questioned my loyalty. Their downward gazes and the way they shifted away from me were dead giveaways.
“Clutch.” The familiar voice caused me to pause, a smile quirking my lips.
“Weasel,” I answered, absurdly grateful when he bumped elbows with me. His eyes shifted constantly, never quite meeting mine, but that was Weasel. “It’s good to see you, man.”
He bobbed his head. “Yep, yep,” he responded, moving out of the way of the door. The peeling letters spelled ‘Office’ and I took a deep breath, wondering at the reception I wa
s going to receive on the other side of the door. Only one way to find out, I thought as I opened the door, a familiar creak announcing our arrival.
Hank shut the door behind us as Johnny stood up and I forced my gaze to stay on him as he walked toward me. His expression didn’t give anything away as I heard the others shuffle restlessly. Johnny’s hand clasped the side of my neck, his thumb pressing against my jaw as our eyes met.
“You’re home.”
I nodded, unsure if it was a question.
It must have been the right answer because a smile lifted one corner of his mouth as he pulled me to him. “Welcome home, Clutch.”
The tension drained from me as he clapped me on the back and the room let out a collectively held breath. “It’s good to be back,” I murmured, stepping back as the others came forward. Creed was there first, dragging me into a tight hug.
“It’s good to see you,” he muttered, releasing me as he swiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I didn’t comment on the redness in them as I had to blink rapidly myself. “Don’t fucking do that again.”
A choked laugh escaped me as Johnny motioned for us to take a seat. “We’re all glad to see Clutch back home,” he started and Hank coughed. “Most of us are glad to see Clutch home,” Johnny corrected with a nod toward Hank. “There have been a few…questions, but nothing you can’t answer for us, hmmm?” Johnny gave me a hard stare and I shifted uncomfortably.
“I’ll try,” I finally said when the silence dragged. “First off, I’d like to say, I didn’t betray the club and I’m not joining the Aces.”
“Straight to the point,” Johnny commented, idly tapping a silver lighter embossed with our emblem against the table. “I’ll start off saying I believe you,” he paused and I knew there was a but coming. “But, we need to know how you slipped a twelve year federal prison sentence.”
I rubbed my hand over my mouth as Cord and Crew slid silently through the door, Crew bumping my shoulder as they came to stand behind me. The show of solidarity was unnecessary, but welcome as I shrugged, telling him, “I’ve got friends in low places?”
Renegade (Southern Rebels MC Book 4) Page 3