‘Hi!’ she said nervously.
‘Hi!’ the voice at the other end responded.
Then there was silence at both ends. A beautiful silence that was pleasant to the ears and that no one wanted to fill. The silence that spoke far beyond just wishes. The silence that gave them butterflies in their stomach.
Arjun, when confronted with this silence, suddenly forgot what he had to say. ‘How . . . how are you?’ he asked, stuttering, and then bit his tongue. Hadn’t he been texting her since he’d left and exchanged at least a hundred messages with her! How beautifully he had put his foot in his mouth with that question!
Rupali secretly laughed at that. She had sensed his discomfort but didn’t add to his embarrassment. ‘I’m fine. How are things there?’ she asked, wanting to know about the wedding celebrations.
‘It’s all nice, but for some reason I am feeling bored.’
‘Bored? But why?’
But Arjun didn’t have anything concrete to answer. Rupali too accepted that it wasn’t exciting for her to come out shopping with the other girls. She too got bored.
‘But why?’ this time Arjun asked her.
Rupali had a concrete answer. ‘Because they either gossip all the time or only talk about what’s in and what’s out of fashion,’ she said.
Arjun laughed and when he started to say something, Rupali cut him short and said softly, ‘I am missing the kind of conversations we have every day . . .’
There was that silence between them again.
Arjun admired her for being upfront and telling him. He wondered if he could have said that to her with such ease. He thought for a moment and then asked, ‘So tell me this, had I been there in Delhi, where would we have gone today and what would have been the topic of our discussion?’
‘Hmm! Good question. Let me think . . .’ she said and then thought for a few seconds before she spoke again. ‘I would have liked to go someplace near the airport. I would have loved to see the planes landing and taking off from the airstrip.’
‘Interesting! And what would we have been discussing?’
‘Hmm…Dreams! Our dreams! Flying high in the limitless sky which is considered as limitless as our thoughts.’
‘Looks like we missed what would have been an exciting day!’ Arjun chuckled.
‘Will you take me there when you are back?’ she asked quickly.
The innocence with which Rupali asked that question, touched Arjun’s heart. Those soft words ‘will you take me’, drenched in hope, kept ringing in his ears for a few seconds as he replied, ‘I would love to do that!’
A little later, after they hung up, they were again back to the business of exchanging messages over their phones. Rupali was the first one to do so when she wrote: ‘It’s nice 2 listen 2 ur voice.’ When she realized that she had forgotten to add a smiley in the end, she sent a second message, which was just a smiley.
For the rest of the day, they continued to be in touch with each other. They were not sitting idle and were engaged in the company of their friends and family, yet they picked up every possible opportunity to connect with each other. The joyful wait anticipating the arrival of the next message on their phones and the sparkling feeling of writing the next message to be sent, kept them busy the whole day.
By the time night fell and Rupali was about to sleep, Arjun was in a reception. She had bid him goodnight. But sleep was miles away from her. Somewhere, something had changed deep inside her. It was an unusual feeling; she had never felt this way. She had never missed someone like this, not even her family when she had boarded the train in Patna to come to Delhi. Over the past few days, had she developed feelings for Arjun? she thought to herself. Shying away from accepting it she started looking for facts to deny it.
She found none.
She recalled how, earlier in the day, a friend of hers had caught her blushing and smiling to herself when she had come out of the trial room to show her the outfit. Rupali had been lost in her thoughts. For a moment she hadn’t even realized that her friend had been asking for her advice on the dress. How embarrassed she had been to know that she had been caught lost in someone’s thoughts!
Her interactions with Arjun had been limited to candidly sharing the thoughts in her mind, based on rationale. Since when had this become a matter of the heart? She wondered and immediately rejected her own point. Then why, for the entire day, had she behaved as if she had been addicted to Arjun? When he wasn’t there near her, why had she tried to fill in that void by exchanging uncountable SMSes? Her mind and her heart were in conflict, she thought. But the truth was different. They were not. They were in agreement. Both pointing to the same thing, though in a different way. She might not believe it. But that didn’t change the truth. And perhaps, for the first time, Rupali had become irrational.
You may fool others, but it is difficult to fool yourself. When Rupali turned on her bed and closed her eyes, rejecting all the hypotheses of there being anything between Arjun and her, she could not control her subconscious mind. It was again thinking about Arjun. It felt nice to think about him, to imagine him in his kurta and a pair of jeans. There was a tickling sensation, a secret joy, of imagining herself with Arjun that led to a smile on her face.
The moment her conscious mind learnt about the thoughts of her subconscious mind, she got up in her bed and, in playful anger, she punched her cushion several times. She sat cross-legged and held her hands over her forehead.
‘Why? Why am I not able to think about something else? Why am I not able to sleep?’ she talked to herself. Her problem was not that she didn’t know the answer. Her problem was that she was not ready to accept it.
When the night would end and the sun would rise again, she was still not going to meet Arjun. He was going to be in Karnal for one more day. Rupali realized with mixed emotions that she was only at the halfway mark and that she would have to wait for another full day before she could see him again. ‘After a whole day! Just like that day! Suddenly how difficult it has become to pass thirty-odd hours without him,’ she thought. The sadness of waiting for yet another day overshadowed the happiness of having already passed an entire day.
Far away from Rupali, Arjun was still at the reception. His entire day had been full of unplanned, impromptu, last-minute chores and he had intermittently bumped into distant relatives. He danced when he was forced to dance. He drove when he was asked to drive his cousins to the beauty parlour. From monitoring the catering guys to helping the flower man instal the entrance gate, he had done a hell of a lot of work. But all this while he had been constantly in touch with Rupali. The cheerful smile that he had been carrying the whole day was not due to the spirit of the wedding. It was due to him being in constant touch with Rupali. Her frequent messages kept him moving and helped him accomplish things one by one at the wedding.
Late in the night, when his cousins and their friends had forced him to drink a few pegs, for the first time Arjun seriously figured out what his heart wanted. He didn’t announce it to his relatives and distant friends. But alcohol had made it evident on his face. They had all seen him continuously texting someone the entire day. In an atmosphere suffused with music, dance and alcohol, the joy of the heart often comes out in the open. But for Arjun, more than anything, that was the moment of self-discovery. With his mind still under the influence of alcohol, it was his heart alone that was talking to him. And he understood what it wanted.
Later that night, about hundred kilometres away from Rupali, a drunk Arjun made up his mind to tell her what he had been feeling about her since morning and, more so, in the past few hours. He didn’t intend to propose to her, but just wanted to let her know. He didn’t want anything in return but just wanted to be honest. He typed and deleted the text message a few times and then finally stuck to what he had typed at the very first go.
Then, a second before he could send his SMS, his phone battery died.
It is the dawn of December. The darkness at this time of the day is quite
pleasant. Rupali is standing at the entrance of the rooftop of her hostel block, where the cemented five-storey-high staircase finally ends. It’s cold there. She is continuously rubbing her palms and occasionally blowing on her fingers to keep them warm. She is shivering. She is trying to keep herself warm in the shawl that she has wrapped around herself. Her hands are numb and her teeth are chattering. It’s not only the dip in the temperature that is making her tremble like this. It has to do with the reason she is here.
At the entrance, she looks here and there. Far away from her, in every direction, she sees glowing streetlights. It’s peaceful everywhere. A few commercial establishments have left their billboard lights turned on. At times Rupali can see a few moving lights—the taxis and lorries moving on the roads of Delhi. But she can’t hear the noise of the traffic. They are far away from her. The only sound that persists is the sound of the night.
Up above her, the dark sky looks beautiful. The moon continues to glow, just like it did the night before; but its position in the sky has changed by now. Similar is the case with the constellation of the seven stars. All of a sudden, a bat swings over her head. She pulls herself back reflexively. The next moment, when she recovers her position, she isn’t able to trace the bat. It’s gone.
She is scared to be here in this isolated place. But she is overcoming her fears and going ahead. She is looking here and there in search of something; or rather someone. The badly illuminated rooftop is making it difficult for her. Some seconds pass. She still hasn’t found the one she has been looking for. She is getting impatient. She wants to shout out the name, but fears that someone else will hear her; besides, she doubts if in her terrible condition she would be able to shout. Her teeth continue to chatter.
She knows what exactly is happening to her. It is some sort of anxiety attack; an intense one. Her heart is pounding fast. She needs to calm down but in this moment, she is losing her control over her body. Her body is experiencing goosebumps; one after another in tandem. In tandem they lead to a tickling sensation.
Unable to wait any more, she slides her hand into the pocket of the pyjamas she is wearing. She takes out her mobile and dials the last call that she had received on her phone a couple of minutes back.
She is breathing heavily. She somehow manages to speak, ‘Wh . . . where . . . Where are you?’
The voice in her ears says, ‘Behind you.’
Rupali immediately turns around. Just underneath the giant water storage tank, she sees the faint light of a mobile phone.
It’s him! It’s Arjun! Her Arjun!
He had come back. He wasn’t lying when, moments back, he had woken her from her sleep and asked her to come to the rooftop.
Oh! My God! He wasn’t lying . . . he is actually here for me! Rupali thinks to herself.
‘Arjun!’ she shouts his name.
She isn’t scared any more. A part of her wants to rush to him. The other part is still trying to get a hold of her physical situation.
Arjun doesn’t say anything. He has simply walked a few steps ahead into the faintly lit portion of the terrace and opens his arms. As he continues to stand there his eyes are stuck like glue to her. There is a sense of satisfaction in them; the satisfaction of seeing Rupali after so many hours.
Beep!! Beep!!
Rupali walks slowly towards him. And then she increases her pace, but stops just about two metres ahead of Arjun. Under the dim light of that yellow bulb installed over the water tank, she can see Arjun’s face now. He is smiling.
‘Arjun,’ she calls his name again—this time with immense passion.
When, with a nod Arjun signals her to come into his arms, Rupali can’t stop herself. She runs to cover that distance between them.
The shawl that she had been wearing has slipped down from her body. Instead, Arjun has wrapped her in his arms. Her head rests on his shoulder, while she locks her arms affectionately around him. Her eyes are closed. She doesn’t want to see anything but just feel Arjun. He senses her quivering body. He rubs her back and tries to calm her down. Rupali believes that she won’t be able to hold herself back. She is going to cry. It has been such a lovely surprise.
Beep!! Beep!!
‘I am here! I am here!’ Arjun whispers in her ears as he continues to offer her the much-needed warmth.
A tear rolls down her right eye and falls on Arjun’s kurta. Her shaking body gradually calms down. She has tightened her grip around Arjun. With her ear over his chest, she realizes she can listen to his heartbeat. The smell of Arjun’s body soaked in the fragrance of the cologne he is wearing mesmerizes her. She realizes that she is in a man’s arms.
Beep!! Beep!!
No one says anything. There is no need to. Underneath an open dark sky on a silent cold rooftop, it is a magical experience for them. It is a beautiful moment. They want to live it to the fullest. They want to live it for long. The warmth of their bodies locked in an embrace comforts them in the cold.
Beep!! Beep!! Beep!! Beep!!
When Rupali finally opens her eyes, she sees over Arjun’s shoulder a shadow against the horizon. The colour of the sky in that direction is transforming from black to red. It must be the east. The sun is about to rise. A brand new day is about to begin.
Beep!! Beep!! Beep!! Beep!! Beep!! Beep!!
Then, all of a sudden, Rupali wakes up to the horrible sound of the alarm set on her phone.
Eighteen
It must have been somewhere around 4 in the evening when he pulled down the stand of his bike.
Ahead of them was a vast piece of flatland, the periphery of which was marked by a barbwire, a few feet high, that ran from one vertical pole to another. Being a massive patch of unoccupied land, the place was a bit windy. It was a cloudy day and it felt as if it must have rained at a nearby place. The December air that was already cold, was moisture-laden as well.
As they took off their helmets, the cool breeze blew on their faces, refreshing them thoroughly. They rested their backs against the seat of the tilted bike.
Rupali felt nice. She closed her eyes and stretched her neck upwards to feel more of the breeze on her face. The air smelled of wet earth. Arjun looked into the mirror of his bike and ran his fingers through his hair ruffled by the helmet.
Behind the two of them, the traffic continued to zip past on the busy Delhi–Gurgaon National Highway no. 8. There were hundreds of cars and other vehicles on the road at any point of time. The combined noise of the engines of the running vehicles and that of their tyres pressing against the road, on the multi-lane highway was quite loud. It was a constant noise that had drowned every other sound in the vicinity.
Then there was a piercing whistle followed by a sound just like that of thundering clouds in the sky.
Even before turning back and looking at it, Rupali could make out what it was. Thrilled, she looked up immediately.
‘Oh wow! There it is!’ she said, pointing towards the sky.
It was an aircraft just above the highway, which was about to land and was flying towards her. Its rumble grew in a matter of seconds.
‘Wow!’ Rupali exclaimed joyfully. Her mouth was agape and it didn’t close till the plane had come quite close to her. Then, within a split second, the plane flew right above her.
From that distance, even the wheels of the plane were clearly visible. Rupali could see the exact position of the flashing light on the wings. To observe that aerodynamic body, which appeared so big from so close, flying over her, was a treat to her eyes. Its noise levels began to go down.
‘Did you see that?’ she asked in sheer excitement. Her eyes followed the plane till it released a huge burst of air the moment its wheels touched the airstrip.
Watching the joy on her face, Arjun said, ‘That was amazing!’
‘Seriously, you liked it too?’ Rupali asked excitedly. She thought it was too childish for someone like Arjun.
‘Liked it? I loved it!’ Arjun laughed. He was glad that he had been able to make Rupali happy.
‘See, I told you naa . . .’ Rupali said proudly and looked back at the airstrip where the plane was.
It was for the first time in the entire day that Rupali had enjoyed something beyond the thoughts of Arjun. Ever since she had woken up to that dream of being in his arms on the rooftop, she could sleep no further. Thoughts of Arjun did not let her sleep again. Even though it was just a dream, it had changed the entire meaning of her association with Arjun. It had shown her what till then she had been denying to herself.
She kept tossing and turning in bed, recalling that dream again and again. There was some sort of secret pleasure that she derived every time she recollected what she had seen. Step by step, slowly, everything in sequence, just the way it had happened in that dream. She had savoured every bit of it.
How sensuous it was for her to relive that embrace every time, for just one more time. Every time she did so, she felt Arjun’s hands over her back. She wanted to touch herself exactly where Arjun had touched her. She imagined the masculine scent of his cologne and the smell of his body. She had taken a deep breath believing that she was inhaling it.
How she had wished to sleep again, hoping that the dream could proceed from where it had stopped. She had wanted to get hypnotized and let the drug of that dream completely take over her and transport her to a distant world, where the rooftop of her hostel block had become the best place to be. But then sleep had been miles away from her.
There had been moments when she was embarrassed about thinking that way. And when that had happened, she had pulled up her blanket over her head. She continued to have mixed feelings—sometimes she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about it and sometimes she wanted to hide her thoughts from her own self.
‘Have you ever sat in one of them?’ Arjun asked, pointing to the plane that had just landed.
Your Dreams Are Mine Now Page 12