by Valerie Wood
‘Mr Sheppard and me would like to stay in a place like that,’ Lizzie said eagerly. ‘It’s not right when couples have shared a life that they should be forced apart at ’end of it.’
He smiled at her enthusiasm. ‘I wasn’t thinking of you applying to live there, Mrs Sheppard.’ He saw the disappointment on her face and hastily added, ‘My father left an endowment, and a property is under offer now. It is on the outskirts of town, but not so far that the residents feel isolated. There will be a small garden where they can walk or sit, and a quiet room.
‘We shall need a suitable matron to run the house. Someone who is able to supervise staff and ensure that the residents as well as the governing Board of Trustees are satisfied.’ He paused. ‘I would be pleased to put your name forward if it would interest you, Mrs Sheppard. And Mr Sheppard of course, for we should also require a porter.’
‘And – and where would we live, Mr Newmarch?’ She asked the question in a low breathless voice.
‘I’m afraid you would have to leave Middle Court, Mrs Sheppard!’ His eyes glinted with ironic humour. ‘You would have to live in. There would be a private apartment available to you.’
Lizzie closed her eyes for a second, and when she opened them she looked at Grace, who was smiling broadly. ‘Praise the Lord,’ she said softly, her voice breaking as she spoke. ‘Our ship’s come in! I’ll start packing now.’
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
‘Goodbye, Ma. Bye, Da.’ Grace kissed them in turn as Martin Newmarch held the carriage door open for her. ‘Ruby!’ She gave Ruby a hug and turned to Daniel. ‘Take care of each other.’ She gave Daniel a hug too, then bent down to Freddie. ‘Give me a kiss, Freddie.’
After she had wished them all goodbye, she stepped into the carriage where Mrs Newmarch was already seated, then turning she whispered in a choked voice, ‘I’ll miss you all so much.’
‘Cheerio, Grace. Best o’ luck,’ the grocer called to her from across the street and his wife Nell waved too. ‘So long, Grace.’ The baker, with his face floury and his white cap askew, shouted, ‘You’ll do well, lass. We allus knew you was a cut above ’rest of us.’
It seemed that the whole neighbourhood had heard that she was leaving the district and had come out to wish her good luck. Others had seen the fine carriage waiting out in the street and curiosity had drawn them closer, so that there was quite a crowd gathered around.
Mr Cooke the apothecary stood watching from his doorway, and a young flower seller who lived nearby called out, ‘Don’t forget us, will you, Grace? Come back and see us one day.’
Grace glanced at Martin Newmarch and said, ‘Can you spare another minute, sir?’
He nodded and she stepped down again and went to speak to several people in the crowd, thanking them for their good wishes. ‘I won’t forget any of you,’ she said to the flower seller. ‘It’s because of all of you that I’m going. I’ll do my best for all of us.’
She sat down opposite Mrs Newmarch and waved through the window as the carriage pulled away, and then took out a handkerchief and blew her nose.
‘What a very brave young lady you are,’ Mrs Newmarch said. ‘Leaving a home where you are so obviously well loved and respected.’
Grace wiped away a tear. ‘There’s nothing to detract us, ma’am,’ she croaked. ‘We onny have each other. No riches to fall out over. We have to pull together or else we go down.’
Martin, who was sitting next to his mother and had been watching Grace as she spoke, asked, ‘Erm – your friend, I forget her name – is she living back in Middle Court?’
‘For the time being she’s staying with my parents,’ Grace said, knowing full well that he hadn’t forgotten Ruby’s name, but didn’t want his mother to hear it. ‘Until she gets married.’
‘Married?’ His eyebrows shot up.
‘To Daniel. I told you about Daniel,’ she said, and Mrs Newmarch looked from one to another in amazement at the familiarity between them.
‘But I thought that he –’ he began.
‘When he came home from sea he realized that he loved her, and she’s always loved him.’
‘And are you happy about that?’ Martin asked, his eyes searching hers as if in concern. He said again, ‘I thought that he –!’
‘Very happy,’ she smiled. ‘They’re quite right for each other.’
‘And the other unfortunate affair?’
‘Is over, apparently,’ she confided. ‘I understand the man is going away.’
‘Who – who are we talking about?’ Mrs Newmarch leaned forward with an eager countenance. ‘I am most intrigued. What an exciting life you do lead!’
Grace was about to deny it, when Martin put in quickly and positively, ‘Not as exciting as the one she is about to follow, Mother.’ He gazed at Grace and she was riveted by the profound contemplation in his expression. ‘The world is waiting for you, Miss Grace.’
Edward didn’t visit Wright Street for two days but decided that he would let Ruby wallow in anxiety, for he thought she was sure to have changed her mind when she realized what an opportunity she would be missing.
Instead he mentally checked his wardrobe as he ascertained what he would need for the journey and his new life. Then he told his manservant Robert Allen, whom he had asked to travel with him and who had eagerly agreed, to clean the clothes he required and pack as discreetly as possible without the other servants knowing.
When he did arrive at the rooms in Wright Street, he found them empty of their occupant, save for a lingering scent of her. On enquiring of the housekeeper she told him that Ruby had left one evening. ‘She told me that you were giving up ’lease, sir!’
‘So where does she live? Do you know?’ he said sharply.
She gazed at him with a puzzled expression. ‘Why here, sir! This is where she lived. I never asked her where she come from. None o’ my business.’
He stormed out and travelled on foot up and down the streets nearby, but he really had no idea where he should look. He had never enquired about her former life. He only knew of her dead mother and her brother Freddie, whose name surprisingly he at last remembered. ‘Not much to go on,’ he muttered. ‘I wonder, I wonder if I could find that other fellow? The one who brought us together. Now what was his name?’
But he couldn’t remember it and, although he went in some of the inns and hostelries, he didn’t see anyone he recognized. She had that friend at the mill, he considered, as he thought round and round the possibilities. Martin had some contact with her. He might know where they lived. He even considered enquiring of the address from the mill, but after the gossip which had ensued from there, he declined to become a laughing stock again.
I’ll ask Martin! He knows already that I have a mistress, so there is nothing to hide. But Martin and their mother were away from home, he was told when calling, and wouldn’t be back until Tuesday evening. But we sail on Saturday, he despaired. I must find her. Then he decided that Ruby was teasing him. She will be waiting, of course! She will be on the dock side with that mischievous smile on her face. I know her so well! She loves her clothes and jewels. How could she not be there? Still he walked the streets day and night, and although he stopped and asked people if they knew of a dark-haired young woman by the name of Ruby, and some nodded and said yes they did, none knew, or were telling, where she lived. Ruby, it seemed, had simply disappeared.
On the evening before the ship was due to sail, Edward asked his valet to put the trunk and valises into the carriage under cover of darkness, take them down to the dock and place them in safe storage. ‘Then come back,’ he said, ‘and we’ll leave during the morning.’ As if, he ruminated, as if I was going about my normal day.
By this time, Robert Allen had deduced that Mrs Edward Newmarch would not be travelling with them, but that his master’s mistress would be. He could not, however, being the man he was, resist making the odd remark in the servants’ quarters about the great opportunities that were waiting in the New World for those who
were willing to take a chance.
Edward wrote a letter to his mother regretting that he hadn’t said goodbye, but promising to write as soon as he could. Then he wrote to May saying that he was leaving for a new life and apologizing for his failure as a husband.
‘It is with great guilt that I realize what a grave error I made in marrying, and one day when I have made my fortune, I will return your dowry. I regret that you will not be able to stay in the house, as funds will not allow it, but I am quite sure that your father will take better care of you than I ever could.’
He then made a plea for clemency and forgiveness. ‘I cannot explain to you the passion that I have within me, and to stay with you would only sow bitterness in both our hearts, bring us to hate each other and harm your reputation, and, my dear May, I would not wish that to happen for I think of you fondly. I sail today, the 16th, and ask, as my ship leaves the shore, that you try to forgive me and think of me with compassion.
‘I remain your affectionate, though faithless husband. Edward Newmarch.’
He sealed the letter. ‘There,’ he murmured dispassionately. ‘That should do it.’
‘Aunt Lizzie!’ Ruby said on the afternoon of the 16th. ‘Would you think I was very foolish if I went down to the dock to see the ship set sail?’
Lizzie considered. ‘Would you feel happier if you knew he had left these shores and hadn’t decided to stay after all?’
‘In a way,’ Ruby replied. ‘But also I feel that perhaps I owe it to Edward to say a proper goodbye. Because, you know, I just left ’house in Wright Street and didn’t leave him a note or anything. And he did give me clothes and food and shelter.’
Lizzie cast her a look of disdain. ‘For which you paid in kind, girl. Don’t forget that! He didn’t give you those things for nowt, did he?’
‘No,’ Ruby admitted. ‘But that doesn’t seem important now. Not to me anyway.’ She considered, then said thoughtfully, ‘But I think he cares for me. He said he did, at least. He was allus saying how much he loved me.’
‘Was he?’ Lizzie murmured. ‘That’s an awkward one, considering how he’s a married man. Well, it’s up to you, Ruby. Onny be careful. He might be persuasive and you might find yourself sailing, whether or not you want to.’
‘Oh, I don’t want to.’ Ruby gave a smiling sigh. ‘All I want is to be with Daniel. But to have a fresh start I’ll go and wish Edward God speed.’
Lizzie watched her go, and whilst being a shrewd and sagacious woman, she was also discerning, and remembering the tenderness and artlessness of youth, she put on her shawl and went to look for Daniel.
The luggage was in the hold, the carriage sent back to Hessle with the driver, and Robert Allen was on board checking that Mr Newmarch’s cabin was in good order.
Edward paced the quayside. There were hundreds of people milling around. Some travelling, some come to see relatives off, and many foreigners who had left the ship to stretch their legs on shore and savour the delights of Hull, before setting off on the epic voyage which would change their lives irrevocably.
What if she doesn’t come? Will I still go? He was beginning to have doubts. He was not normally an adventurous man; he liked his creature comforts, which was why he had asked his valet if he would come. I have to go, he thought, everything is on board, and besides I’ve left May the letter. I can’t not go now. I should look so foolish. He imagined May reading the letter and shrieking, then fainting, then sending the servants for her parents and Georgiana to comfort her, and of how his name would be infamous. He gave a wry grin. They would never expect it of me. They’ll be in total disarray. But Ruby, my darling girl, where are you? His stomach churned with anxiety. Hurry or it will be too late!
‘Edward! Edward!’
He turned quickly. There she was, hastening towards him. He ran to her and gathered her into his arms. ‘Oh, Ruby, I thought you were never coming! But where’s your luggage? Your trunk?’
She gazed at him in bewilderment. ‘But I told you, Edward, that I wasn’t coming.’ She shook her head. ‘I told you that I couldn’t.’
‘What? But that’s nonsense!’ he said tersely. ‘You must come. I have the tickets. I want you to come. You must!’ He grabbed her arms urgently. ‘Never mind, we can buy what you need when we get to London. I can’t go without you, Ruby. There’d be no sense in my going alone.’
They were jostled together by people making their way on board. There was a queue of immigrants on the gangboard, and others leaning over the side of the ship waving farewell to those standing on shore.
‘I can’t, Edward.’ She clutched at his coat, her knuckles white. ‘I can’t leave. I told you, I belong here in this town.’
He stared at her. ‘And even though I have told you that I love you?’ he said softly, his eyes misting. ‘Even though I’ve left my wife and home to be with you, it doesn’t make any difference?’
She shook her head, her emotions making it impossible to speak as she realized how he was hurting and that his love for her was genuine.
‘There is someone else, isn’t there?’ he asked quietly. ‘You wouldn’t stay if there wasn’t. What is he? A rich man or a poor one?’
‘A poor one,’ she confessed. ‘I’ve allus loved him. Since before I met you.’
‘And would you have come with me if he hadn’t been there?’
‘No,’ she admitted huskily. ‘I wouldn’t. I’m sorry, Edward, but we’re worlds apart, you and me, and eventually the love that you say you have for me would disappear. You’d become ashamed of ’way I speak, of ’way I am. You said once—’ Her voice broke. ‘You said that I could never ever be a lady.’
He held her close in contrition.
‘And it’s true,’ she whispered. ‘Perfectly true, and I would have hated it if you were ashamed of me. I would have tried to change myself, to be ’person you thought you wanted me to be. And then,’ she added, drawing away from his grasp, ‘it wouldn’t be me any more. The Ruby that you once loved would be lost.’
She saw misery in his eyes, and he swallowed hard before speaking. ‘You are probably right, Ruby. I wanted to possess you, to shape you into the perfect woman, which if I had only looked beyond my own selfish desires, I would have realized you are anyway.’
‘No, Edward.’ She gave a gentle smile and reached up to kiss his cheek. ‘I’m not. I’m full o’ flaws and weaknesses.’
‘And your poor man accepts those, does he?’ he asked, knowing, if he was honest with himself, that he could not.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘He does.’
He nodded and glanced towards the ship. The seamen were preparing to sail and the last few straggling passengers were being urged on board. Robert Allen was leaning over the bulwarks waving urgently for him to hurry, and watching them on shore were three other people. Daniel, May and Martin.
Edward kissed her for the last time and she saw tears glisten in his eyes. ‘I know that I’m not the man you love, Ruby,’ he said softly. ‘But never forget that I’ll always love you. I will always remember you as you are and how happy you made me. Nothing will ever destroy that memory. But I can’t stay on these shores knowing that you are here and belonging to someone else.’
He walked away, his head and shoulders bowed as he climbed the gangboard without looking back. Ruby stood with her hand clutched to her mouth, trying to fight back the tears. He reached the deck and then he disappeared, not staying to watch the departure as the ship broke anchor and pulled away from its mooring to the accompaniment of cheers from the passengers and those left behind.
Young seamen up on the yards looked down, some raising an arm in farewell as the sails unfurled and the vessel eased its way out of the dock towards the river. Daniel came forward and put his arm around Ruby’s shoulder. ‘He’s gone then,’ he said quietly. ‘Was there any trouble?’
‘No,’ she choked. ‘No trouble at all.’
‘I’m sorry, May.’ Martin took his sister-in-law’s arm as they turned away from the quay. ‘I
blame myself. I should have talked to him more.’
‘You wouldn’t have stopped him,’ May said pensively and turned one last time to watch the departing ship. ‘He loved her, didn’t he? He wanted her to go with him, and yet she didn’t!’ She looked up at Martin. ‘Why didn’t she, do you think? There can be nothing for her here, being the kind of person that she is.’
Martin glanced towards the two figures walking arm in arm out of the quay towards the town. ‘I think’, he said with quiet admiration, ‘that it’s precisely because she’s the kind of person she is, that she’s staying.’
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
The first thing that Miss Morris did when Grace arrived at her home on the outskirts of Wakefield was to put her on a diet of liver, beef, eggs and cream. ‘You’re fading away, young woman, and I can’t have that. You’ll never have a lot of fat on you, but I need you fit and healthy, we have a lot of work in front of us.’ She insisted that Grace had breakfast in bed each morning and then took a walk around the garden for air and exercise.
Twice a week in the first three weeks, she ordered the carriage and they drove up into the hills and then got out and walked. Grace felt the blood coursing through her veins and in better health than she had ever been.
In the fourth week she tentatively asked Miss Morris what it was she wanted her to do and why she had brought her here.
‘Did Mr Newmarch not say?’ Miss Morris expressed surprise. ‘How very odd, when it was he who planted the idea in the first place!’
Grace wrinkled her brow. She was sure that Mr Newmarch had said he didn’t know what Miss Morris wanted of her. Or at least, she considered, he hadn’t suggested that he knew.
‘Did he?’ she queried.
‘Mmm. Sometime when we were on the tour,’ Miss Morris said vaguely. ‘I can’t remember exactly. Well, we are to begin a project, my dear,’ she went on briskly. ‘But first of all, so that you feel quite confident, I am obtaining a tutor for you to brush up your written language. We shall read some books and then we shall talk.’